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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Category Archives: Pop Culture

Who is a “Real” Christian?

20 Friday Jun 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Tags

abortion, gay marriage, heaven, hell, Matthew 25, progressive Christianity, real Christians, Romans 10, who are real Christians

1596I’ve been wondering lately who would be considered a “real” Christian in the eyes of God…

Is it the one who feeds the hungry, visits the prisoner and clothes the naked the “real” Christian – just like it says in Matthew 25?  Or is it the person who believes in their heart and speaks with their mouth that they believe in Jesus the one who is a real Christian -as it is written in Romans 10?

Is it the Christian who believes all must speak in tongues in order to be saved?   Or is it the Christian who understands tongues as speaking in a variety of languages and doesn’t have a special prayer language?

Is it the one who is Baptist?  Or an Episcopalian?  Or Catholic?  Or non-denominational?  Or doesn’t attend church at all?

What about those who believe that the world is 6,000 years old?  And what about those who believe that the universe was created in a “Big Bang” process and humans evolved from animals?  Is the Bible literally true or was the Bible written in certain contexts and metaphorical in certain parts?  Which of these beliefs is needed to be a “real” Christian?

Is it the person who gets in the faces of those marching in a pride parade to angrily tell them they need to repent?  Is it the ones marching in the Pride parade telling everyone that God loves them just as they are?  Is it the pastor who performed a wedding for two men or the pastor who preaches that marriage is only between a man and woman?

Is it the woman who became ordained a few years back or the man who thinks that women shouldn’t speak in church?  Are the “real” Christians protesting and speaking out for the life of the fetus outside of the abortion clinic?  Are the “real” Christians the ones standing at the doors of the clinic, being a loving presence to the women walking inside?

Are the “real” Christians the ones who pray to God in front of the the multi-story cross on the side of the highway?  Or are they the ones who pray to God when they enter a grocery store wondering how to spend their money on food for the hungry?

Would the Christian who believes that Jesus died for their sins or lived to save them be more “right” with God?

Is it the Christian who believes that God has no idea what the future holds or the Christian who knows that God has a plan and that everything happens for a reason?

Do the “real” Christians come from the Democrats… or the Republicans… or the Independents?  Is it the watcher of Fox News or the listener of NPR?

So tell me… who is the “real” Christian?  Which one will be existing with God on that side of Heaven instead of burning in Hell?

Who do you think will be with you in Heaven?  Will it be the ones who think and act like you?

Or could it be all of us?

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Saying No in the Era of #YesAllWomen

28 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

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#yesallwomen, college, Feminism, feminist, feminist theology progressive Chrisitianity, harassment, misogyny, Santa Barbara shooting, saying no, sexual harassment, Yes All Women, yes all women and faith

20140528-014106.jpg

February 1992. I was eighteen years old in my freshman year of college. My friends introduced me to a really cute guy who was about a year or two older. We all hung out talking until around midnight. He then walked me back to my dorm room and gave me a kiss.

Alright. He’s cute. He’s sweet. I hope i hear from him…

The next evening, he calls. He asks me to go out. I didn’t feel like spending time with him that evening, so I politely declined. “You will go out with me,” he demands.

Excuse me? “No,” I replied.

He just couldn’t take no for an answer.

Eventually, we ended the phone conversation. I felt extremely vulnerable at that moment. Thoughts continued to cycle throughout my mind. What if he comes after me? What would this confrontation look like, and would I be safe? Fortunately, I found way to hang out with other friends that evening, away from campus – what I perceived to be a safer space.

Frankly, on that very evening, anywhere where he could not find me was safe.

*****

May 1992. I was nineteen years old finishing my freshman year of college. I was sitting in the library at my college trying to study when a man around my age came up to talk with me.

I was trying to brush him off – at this point I had another boyfriend. But he continuously asked for my number – over and over and over again. To him, it didn’t matter that I was in a relationship with another person.

Finally, I relented. I gave him my dorm room phone number and left the conversation.

A while later, he called me. I pretended that I was my roommate and told Whatshisname that I wasn’t home. He never called back.

But could he ever find me?

*****

Summer 1992. I was still nineteen years old between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I was driving on Route 159 in Swansea, Illinois when a guy in the next car at the stoplight locked eyes with me.

It’s always awkward to lock eyes with anyone in nearby cars. But this one had another agenda.

I started driving once the stoplight turned green. He then followed me.

No matter how fast I drove, he drove. He continuously tried to get my attention. But my attention was focused on working to lose him.

Block after block, he kept up. Then, I saw an upcoming street. At this point he was in the next lane and keeping up with my driving. I quickly turned down the road without giving any indication that I was making that move. He continued to drive on Route 159.

But what if I couldn’t figure out a way to lose him?

*****

These three stories happened to me over the course of six months. Understand that I could continue to write story after story about the varying types of harassments I’ve experienced in 23 years – from catcalls to mindgames to unwanted touching.

Now, I’m not talking about the guy who kindly asks me out even though I’m not interested. I’m talking the kind of behavior when I feel every type of red alarm has gone off and my gut is giving me a bad vibe – the guy who keeps pressuring me even though I continuously say “no.” There are many authentically nice guys out there. (I know since I’m dating one of the nice guys.) However, from personal experience, I can tell that 100% of the men in our society do not treat women as equals, and this type of controlling attitude and entitlement needs to stop. They think they can follow us, pressure us and guilt us into falling for them.

Our society encourages us to be “good girls.” Never say no. Be accommodating. The problem with being the good girl is that the controlling boys like to find us. They like to drain us of any self-esteem we may still have in our souls.

The story of Vashti always resonates with me when it comes to a woman who stood up for her body, mind and soul. She refused to be paraded around like an object by her husband King Xerxes (Ahasuerus) who then, probably, banished her from his life. It was a risked she was willing to take as she didn’t want to be objectified and controlled by men.

It takes years for us to find that confidence to realize we deserve better than all of this. We do not deserve to be paraded around or required to give in to a man’s desires each time he asks.

So when I think of this mass killing spree in Santa Barabara, I think of the way that men have felt entitled to the bodies, minds and souls of women since the Hebrew Bible – from Vashti to Tamar, the daughter of David who was raped by her brother.

When I see the spirit of women on social media this week and the many men who support us, I realize that maybe there’s hope in this conversation. Maybe there will be one less man who demands a date or sex, one less man who chases a woman or one less woman who feels pressured to give out her personal information.

Let’s find ways to stand together, girls and women of all ages. Let’s find a way to help each other feel safe even when we’ve felt violated. We deserve to be given the dignity that God has given each of us – as we are made in the image of our Creator, too.

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Between Childless and Child-free

10 Saturday May 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

child-free, Childless, church on Mother's Day, Infertility, miscarriage, mother, Mother's Day, Mother's Day 2014, motherhood, post-40, progressive Christianity, reproductive loss

IMG_3660In the past number of years I have felt a range of feelings one may feel being childless on Mother’s Day.  Granted, I am truly grateful for my own mom, my grandmas and those who have been mom-like to me.  I cheer with those who have chosen to be moms and have enjoyed holding your babies as they have seen their first few months.

And I’ve faced the childlessness that I never expected to experience.  I have moved from a place of sadness that comes with childlessness to a new type of limbo – – navigating the place of being childless and child-free.

Now that I’ve crossed the threshold into my forties, I realize how giving birth to a child and caring for an infant would impact my life.  Because of my own body changes, I don’t know if I could conceive, if I could carry a child to term, if I could live with one to two hours of sleep per night.

Many of of my friends’ experiences have opened my eyes.  Twenty years ago, I would not have seen miscarriage after miscarriage.  Years of grief post-stillborn.  Weeks in the hospital or in bed hoping to carry the baby to term.  One to two hours of sleep per night.  Health changes post-baby.

Before the age of 40, I never had the right significant other with whom to raise a child.  I never had enough income to live semi-comfortably raising a baby on my own.

I still do not.

I never thought I would be here: in a limbo state of childless/child-free post 40.  I remember freaking out in my twenties when thinking I would never have children.  If my 20 year old self could see myself today, she would be devastated.

And yet, at post-40, I’m not.

There’s a part of me that’s happily content in this childless/child-free limbo.  I sleep and eat as I want.  I follow my calling by God to mother to a congregation.  I experience the small moments in life without the distraction of others to take care of.

But I’m still just a little sad and not able to 100% embrace a permanent child-free state.

I’m sad I will never baptize my baby or feel the kicks inside of my womb.  I’m sad that I will never attend a parent-teacher conference or place a dollar under the pillow when my child’s tooth falls out or see the faces of my children on Christmas morning.  I’m sad that I am not part of the “mommies club” and that I sit on the outskirts of what is acceptable in our society.

I live in the childless/child-free limbo.  I can not see myself having a child at this point but there’s still a part of me that mourns never having a child.  I do not have the money or energy or stamina to pursue birthing a child or having an infant at this point.  With this post I publicly embrace that I live between two points: the childless woman who once wanted a child and a woman who is content with being child-free.  And I know that others still live in this rarely talked about limbo.  We are both blessed and grieved to this place where life has brought us.  We are still articulating where we are, and we don’t want others to name this place for us.

Please do not call me heartless because I may not want to have a child.  Please do not tell me that I may change my mind.  Please do not tell me that I do not know true love because I do not have a child.  Please do not tell me that there are plenty of ways to still become a mother.  Please do not assume I do not love children just because I have none, or that I don’t understand children.  Please do not think I sit and cry all of the time because life turned out a bit differently than expected.

And please do not tell me how I should feel on Mother’s Day.

Unfortunately, Mother’s Day is always on a Sunday.  Some pastors understand that Mother’s Day is sensitive to some women – they know that women experiencing a number of experiences related to motherhood need to be remembered in prayer.  And then there are other church leaders who think that those of us who still hold sadness in our unique reproductive losses should get over it.  Find a new way to celebrate.  Suppress our feelings for this one service just to go home to cry uncontrollably.

They don’t get it.  They don’t understand that Mother’s Day is not happy for everyone, and they expect us to feel a certain way.  It takes unchecked privilege to make such a bold statement – a privilege which excludes many of my childless friends… and even those of us who are working through our childless/child-free limbo.

I am trying to find a new way to celebrate.  But I’m not there yet.  Do not force me to be happy for someone else because the twenty-something piece of my soul still grieves.  But do not think that I live in a constant state of  grief either because I have a wonderful life with wonderful loved ones and friends.

So on Mother’s Day, even though I’m content with my life, I still have twinges of mourning.  And in those twinges, I sit in solidarity as I remember my friends who are painfully childless because of infertility.  I sit in solidarity with those who have lost children and experienced miscarriages.  And I ask that my other clergy friends remember those hurting on Mother’s Day as well.

Being a woman is more than a mother.  It’s being the person God calls us to be bringing love into the world.  I have moments of mothering, and I thank Mother God that I can fill that space from time to time.

May those of us in childless/child-free limbo, those of us who are mothers and those of us who cry because we aren’t find a way to validate each other.  Amen.

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Proper Pastoral Care and Limiting Laws: the UCC and North Carolina

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Tags

first amendment, freedom of religion, lawsuit, Marriage Equality, North Carolina, open and affirming, Pastoral Care, progressive Christianity, religious freedom, UCC, United Church of Christ

IMG_2866Let me introduce myself…

I am a straight ally who left one denomination for the United Church of Christ (UCC) because of the marriage equality issue. Back in 2005, before I entered the ministry, I felt that I would be a stronger pastor and better reflect God’s light on the world by publicly supporting gay marriage and LGBT ordination. If I had to continue to bite my tongue every time someone asked me what I thought of gay marriage, I could not be an authentic person of faith. In leaving one denomination, I discovered that the United Church of Christ was a denomination who widely opened their arms to people of all sexual orientations and gender expressions and those of us who supported our friends.

In writing this post, I acknowledge that some of you reading this will not agree with my position on gay marriage. In fact, you may be a member of a United Church of Christ and still believe that a marriage is between one man and one woman. (Yes – we have many in our denomination who still believe in this view of marriage. The UCC is filled with people with a variety of perspectives. Being in covenant with one another, we worship God together even if we disagree.)

And then you read that the UCC has filed a lawsuit against the state of North Carolina. What does this mean? Here’s what it could mean to a pastor: with the state’s current law on marriage, a member of the clergy could face jail time if they were to perform a wedding ceremony without filing a certificate for marriage. The clergy member would have to hold back their belief on marriage and religion based on what the state is dictating. Technically, a law like this could open doors which would limit other rituals or care that a pastor deems spiritually necessary.

Think of it this way…

What if there was a law that said that I as your pastor could only do hospital visits Monday through Friday? What if I couldn’t visit you in the hospital as you lay dying on a Saturday? What if you couldn’t have the peace of a pastoral presence in your final few hours because the law told me otherwise?

What if there were laws restricting churches to baptizing people over the age of 12? No child is allowed to be baptized for any reason – including children who may be in hospice care.

What if there was a law that said only men could be ordained? If a church were to hold an ordination ceremony for a woman, those involved would go to prison for two to three months.

What if an elderly man and woman wanted to have a marriage ceremony before God and their families but did not want a legal ceremony in order to protect their estates?

What if your beloved pet dies, and you yearn for closure. However, there was a law in your state that only allowed for humans to have funerals. Any funeral-like ritual that would be held for a pet would be considered illegal, and I could be arrested for giving you the best care possible.

I do not want to be told that I can’t or that I must perform a certain ritual that would bring peace to your lives.

By filing this lawsuit, the United Church of Christ is still not indicating that all members agree or must agree with marriage equality. We will never be a denomination that forces our members or churches to agree on an issue. Instead, I defer to this statement by the Indiana-Kentucky Conference of the United Church of Christ:

For us, as one of the founding religious traditions of this nation, the principle of free exercise of religion is a paramount value. Because we are not a hierarchical church, the freedom of every clergyperson to conduct the rites and sacraments of the Church according to the dictates of conscience is essential to our identity and our faith practice.

The church is protecting our autonomy as individuals and churches within the covenant of our denomination. Through this lawsuit, they are advocating on behalf of your religious freedom. And they are advocating for my religious freedom too. They care about your relationship to God, and they do not want your pastor to have government-forced limitations in the way they give pastoral care. Donald Clark Jr., general counsel of the UCC expressed “We didn’t bring this lawsuit to make others conform to our beliefs, but to vindicate the right of all faiths to freely exercise their religious practices.”

I’m not sure about all of you, but I deeply want to practice my faith based on my relationship with God.

This lawsuit will never force you to believe in marriage equality. It will not force a pastor to perform a same-sex wedding. It won’t force you to love your neighbor who happens to be gay – no matter how much Jesus loves them. You do not have to go to the wedding or even wish them congratulations. The only thing a ruling in favor of this lawsuit will do is continue to protect all of our freedoms so that we may practice our faith as we see fit.

Granted, rituals that hurt another person or oneself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) should continue to be restricted. But a ceremony that includes two people freely making a covenant with one another and presided by an officiant who freely believes in the ritual hurts no one. It is not taking the rights away from anyone else. It’s bringing peace and love into the hearts of the couple and those who are actively part of their lives. I truly believe it spreads more love into our communities.

With this lawsuit, the United Church of Christ still does not talk on behalf of the churches. Instead, the denomination talks to the churches, offering another way of looking faith and expanding the way Christ moves in our world.

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Good Friday is Not Good

18 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Crucifixion, Good Friday, Jesus, John 3:16, moral theory, progressive Christianity, radical love, sacrificial atonement, salvation, substitutionary atonement

El Greco [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

To me, Good Friday is not good.

A man that loved everyone he met is executed by the government.  According to writings, thorns are pushed into his head, he is beaten, spat upon and forced to parade through a city carrying a heavy piece of wood.  Nails were pierced into his hands and feet, and he struggled to breathe as he slowly died upon a cross.

I’m sorry… there is no good news in the expectation that one person must die so that everyone is alive and happy.

To me, Good Friday is deeply painful.

I can’t believe in a God that would expect his or her own son to receive such pain.  I can’t believe in a God that goes against the God of Psalm 139 – following us into the very depths of the earth and underworld for no other reason that God loves us.  Believing that God expected Jesus to die for humanity and then deserting Jesus in those painful last few minutes is not the God I know and love.

I can’t believe that God would force us to believe this horrific story in order for us to have some perfect afterlife or perfect relationship with the Divine.

Back in seminary, we read the short story “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”.  The story describes paradise, the most perfect place on earth.  Yet in order for the people of Omelas to have such perfection, one person, a child, is required to suffer.  In our story, that is Jesus.

So, on this “Good” Friday, I still embrace my salvation through Christ – through his life.  When Jesus touched the unclean and stood up for the marginalized, Jesus saved humanity.  Jesus went so far to defend “the least of these” that he was executed for doing so.

Because it was through his life, not his death, that I find salvation.

And I thank Jesus the Christ for loving so extravagantly that he was willing to get arrested and find his demise on a cross.  But I refuse to claim joy because of the suffering he went through.  And I refuse to embrace a Divine Mother or Father that would require for this to happen.

Like John 3:16 states, I believe that God sent Jesus to this world to save this world.  I just don’t believe that it was through his death.  Instead, it was through his life and ministry.  Each day I find salvation through the radically loving acts of Jesus.

The cross has meaning – the significance that a person would go to the ends of the earth in order to show love.  But the cross is not joyous to me.

The cross is an electric chair, a firing squad.  It’s lethal injection.  Instead of executing someone who hurt the world, the Roman government made this huge error by executing a loving person.

But the Roman government didn’t win.  Hate didn’t win.  But that’s a story for another day…

The views associated with this post and this website are mine alone.

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Embracing Ted’s Journey: Spiritual Lessons From How I Met Your Mother

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Television

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Tags

Christianity, exile, God and HIMYM, Gospel HIMYM, himym, himym ending, himym series finale, HIMYM Spirituality, How I Met Your Mother, how i met your mother finale, pop culture, progressive Christianity, spiritual journey, The mother, wilderness

Josh Radnor – Wikimedia Commons

Note: This article contains spoilers.

In nine seasons of  How I Met Your Mother, we’ve seen the peaks and valleys in the life of Ted Mosby. The series finale created mixed feelings in the dedicated fans.

Realizing some time ago that the mother may be meeting an early demise, I tried to come to terms that Ted’s roller coaster life may not be settling. Instead, I chose to find the broken beauty in Ted’s journey, embracing spiritual lessons to help us find God’s presence in each of our valley-filled lives.

To everything there is a season…
The first scene in season six pans to the sign in front of the church: “to everything there is a season.” Ecclesiastes 3 indicates that being human brings with it many highs and lows: life and death, mourning and dancing, love and hate. This series and specifically the final episode showcases the roller coaster of life. As the themes of new love, divorce, birth and death are weaved into this episode, we are reminded that seasons come and go for everyone.

Every once in a while, God calls us to leave the past behind.
In season seven, Ted and Robin nearly rekindle their romance once again. When Ted realizes that it’s not going to happen, he determines that he needs to make a firm break between him and Robin. Ted realizes any lingering possibility in a relationship with Robin can’t continue if he wants to find happiness.

As the wife of Lot turns into a pillar of salt when turning around to see what’s behind her (Genesis 19), we too can become locked into a moment of life or an unhealthy relationship. When a situations clouds our lives and dominates our emotions, sometimes it’s best for us to walk away. In order to move forward in a new direction, we will take this drastic step, embracing the pain that comes with it. There’s a possibility that God is calling us to find new life in a completely different direction.

Looking for love is often like traveling through a wilderness.
After seeing his closest friends Marshall and Lily find love with one another in their late teens, Ted continues the journey. He even watches his former love marry one of his best friends. At one point or another during these nine seasons, we’ve become impatient with Ted’s story just as we become impatient with our own.  Will Ted find his happy ending?

It’s hard to watch a seven year journey of someone looking for love or achieving a dream. In the series finale, Lily acknowledges Ted’s difficult course in the final episode: “…a man with more emotional endurance than anyone I know. It was a long difficult road… Thank God we finally got here.”

And Ted narrates the same sentiment about his path: “At times it was a long and difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom I knew I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can and I can not stop loving her not even for a second.”

The Exodus story of wilderness is one that resonates with us no matter what our era. There are destinations along this path, but the journey is in some ways more valuable. In any of our lives, there is no definite “happily ever after.” But there are happy moments embedded into our tragedies, and there is sadness intertwined with our joy.

It’s the people around us in the wilderness that makes life bearable. 
As Biblical stories of exile and wilderness fill our faith, our personal journeys include many people who never deserted us as we traveled through our own exiles. Without dedicated friends like Marshall, Lily, Barney and Robin, Ted’s long exile in the dating wilderness may not have been so bearable. In our own times of exile, who has stood by us or journeyed along side of us?

When it comes to love, never settle. Take the long road.
Song of Solomon 3:1-2 states “Upon my bed at night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer.” The narrator asks in verse three, “have you seen him whom my soul loves?” In this spirit, Ted continues to search for this love on his journey.

Devastating losses of Robin, Victoria, Stella, Zoe and more, Ted continues on his path, until he meets the ideal partner, Tracy. As Song of Solomon 3:5 says “do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready!”

More than anything else, How I Met Your Mother is a story of hope.
Christianity as well as other faiths embraces the story of hope even in the midst of the desert. Ted’s story is one of resilience. And sometimes our narratives of resilience need to be told, whether the story is in the sixth century BCE, first century CE or today and whether we are writing it in a book or telling the tale to our children.

Ted’s story reminds us of many of our own paths. We live, we fall and we get back up again. The story of our lives is similar in many ways. We experience extravagant grace and surprising resurrections along the way.

So as many of us are saddened by the ending of this show and devastated on how it ended, know that the human life experience is not one of fairy tales and people living happily ever after, but one of peaks and valleys. It’s a story where God’s love pursues us- no matter where we are in our tale.

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Mary, Gloria and Our Voices

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Tags

Feminism, Gloria Steinem, Mary, Mary the Mother of Jesus, May 25, progressive Christianity, The Annunciation

Jungfrau der Verkündigung

I was having lunch with a priest colleague of mine today, who reminded me of the significance of today.  “It’s the annunciation,” said the priest. The church calendar remembers the day Mary accepted God’s call.

As Protestants, Mary doesn’t usually receive her due in our arena of Christianity.  She shows up in Advent and Christmas, when the lectionary text includes the wedding at Cana and as Jesus suffers in his final hours.

However, this is a woman who was sure to influence her son.  So very little is said about this woman, but what mother doesn’t make an impression on her children?  I would like to believe that the ministry of Jesus and his strong convictions not only came directly from God but also came from Mary and Joseph.

So the annunciation is the day empowering the life and works of Mary.  It was the day Mary made her choice.  When she was called to birth a savior, she chose yes.  She risked the well-being of her life to carry a baby outside the confines of marriage.  Through her power of choice, she accepted the call to birth a person and, in many ways, a movement.

I also find it ironic that March 25 is not only the Annunciation in the church but the birthday of the mother of modern feminism: Gloria Steinem.

Gloria has spent decades remembering the voices of women, empowering women to make choices for their own lives – including reproductive choices.  Through her time working tirelessly for the cause of women’s equality, she delivered women from the oppressive systems of the past and opened doors to the impossible.  Through her call to leadership, she was the midwife in the rebirth of a movement.

Out of any day of the year, I look at March 25 as the Day of Women’s Empowerment.  From Mary to Gloria to all of us, we are given choices – more than ever before.  This is a day to celebrate our power – a power gifted to us by our Mother God.

So as we wait for the Supreme Court to decide whether corporations can control the choices of women and as we watch more and more states come up with laws that try to control our bodies (including the imprisonment of women who give birth to stillborn babies), let us hope that God sends us new prophets to deliver us from controlling powers that be.

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Using the Bible to Strengthen Women on International Women’s Day

08 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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1 Timothy 2, Adam and Eve, Bathsheba, Bible, Eve, Feminism, feminist Christianity, Hosea, International Women's Day, Lot's Daughters, progressive Christianity, Proverbs 31, Syrophoenician woman, Vashti, Women's Rights, Zelophehad's Daughters

“Beloved Disciple” in the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene; by El Greco ca. 1580

Many in our society and world use the Bible to tear down women, ensure women have certain roles and use women’s bodies as they please.

They refer to the story of Adam and Eve when noting that women were responsible for the downfall of humans.

They use Eve’s missteps as a way of saying that women should be in pain during her pregnancy or any reproductive issue.

They overlook the part of the story when Lot offers his daughters as sexual goods, and they believe that women’s bodies are not our own.

They look at the story of Jacob and his two wives, or Abraham with his wife and concubine, and they think it’s okay for women to fight over men and for women to make each other jealous.

They take the story of Jephthah’s daughter as a story of obedience instead of a story of child abuse.

They look at David’s sin as having an affair with Bathsheba instead of ogling her and using his power to seduce her. 

They use Proverbs 31 as a way to keep a woman as a subservient type of wife and mother.

They take Hosea’s account of God using “whore” for a woman as permission to call women whatever names they want.

They say that since only men were Jesus’ disciples, only men can be true leaders in faith.

They use 1 Timothy 2 to keep women quiet in faith, giving all power in churches to men.

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m tired of this.  I’m exhausted from having to hear that women deserve pain because of a stories written thousands of years ago.  I’m tired of hearing women called slut, whore and other horrifying words in an attempt to control or demean them.  I’m disgusted at television shows where women fight over a man or continuously bicker with each other.  I do not want to feel less than human or a woman because I don’t have children or I’m not married, and I don’t want to be told that I’m sinful because I’m a female leader in faith.

Instead, let’s join together to use Scripture to strengthen women and stand for their rights.

Let’s remember that Paul recognized Phoebe and Lydia as women leaders in the church every time Christians use 1 Timothy to quiet women.

Let’s take the story of Mary Magdalene rushing out of the garden after the resurrection as a woman being the first one called to share the good news.

Let’s take the story of Proverbs 31 woman as an empowered women who is full of wisdom, takes care of her family and stands for justice in her community.

Let’s take the story of Vashti not as a disobedient wife but as a women who stood up to the patriarchy and her body being used by powerful men.

Let’s take the story of the Syrophoenician woman as one who stood up to Jesus to make sure her family had their needs met.

Let’s take the stories of the woman with the hemorrhage and Judah’s daughter-in-law Tamar as ones where women stand up for their reproductive health and rights.

Let’s take the story of Zelophehad’s daughters as one who stand for their financial rights.

Christianity does not have to be a religion that reduces women but can be one that strengthens the lives of women all over the world.  Let’s remember the verses and narratives that empower us as we bring liberating words of hope to women, finding ways to strengthen their body, mind, soul and voice.

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Being a Neighbor in the Wilderness

07 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by mictori in Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Ash Wednesday, desert, Dr. Ryan Stone, Gravity, Jesus, Lent, Love, love your neighbor, neighbor, progressive Christianity, space, wilderness

From Wikimedia Commons

This post is based on a sermon preached at an ecumenical Ash Wednesday service on March 5, 2014 at Hope Lutheran Church, Cincinnati.

Last week, I watched the movie Gravity.  In the film, Dr. Ryan Stone is on a space mission with about four other astronauts.  A satellite orbiting earth has been blown up, and now the remaining pieces are flying at high speeds towards their ship.  As the initial fragments propel towards them, it permanently damages the ship and leaves three of the astronauts dead.  One other astronaut is alive, and he is able to catch up with her and tether himself to her.  Eventually, however, he knows that the two of them will die if they continue to be tethered.  So he releases himself from her, and she remains on her own in space.

Dr. Stone can’t reach by radio Houston, so there’s no communication to or from earth.  The emergency pods in the International Space Station are damaged, so she can’t use them to return to home.  There are other possibilities to return to earth, but, again, Dr. Stone is working completely alone with damaged equipment.

Dr. Stone is in the wilderness.  It may seem different than a wilderness than any of us have experienced.  On top of this, Dr. Stone has lost everyone she had started the journey with because of the hurling fragments of satellite.  She is completely isolated from any other living thing, any of life’s comforts and the protection of technology.

This level of isolation reminds me of the wilderness that Jesus could have endured for days and nights on end.  The story goes that the Spirit drove Jesus into the wilderness.  Jesus had no supplies, had no friends in the midst of this journey and fasted from basic needs.  Like Dr. Stone, he is in the middle of no where, feeling distracted by tests and disruptions.

Like Jesus and like Dr. Stone, is no doubt in my mind that each of us are going to journey through wildernesses at various points of our lives.  Sometimes it will be a wilderness of grief or a wilderness of physical illness.  Other times, it will be one that might be from mental illness like depression or anxiety, and we don’t think anyone else can relate.  As our journey in pain continues, we may isolate ourselves more and more and inflict wilderness on ourselves.

There are some of us who enjoy extended times alone.  But imagine having no source of neighbor as we go through some of life’s roughest moments.  There is no one to talk us down from our anxiety, no one to physically be present and no one to even give us insight on how to make the wilderness more tolerable.

Unlike Dr. Stone and unlike Jesus, unlike what we’ve even experienced in the past, when we endure a wilderness, we don’t have to go through it alone.  We have our neighbors.  And if we keep our eyes open, we may see that God is also present.

This is the joy of the love of neighbor: knowing that we can journey through the good times and rough times together.  We are not alone in a desert.  We are not alone in space.  We are here in the midst of community, part of the body of Christ and part of a covenantal body.   We have others pointing to the presence of God in our midst.

Granted sometimes people pull away from us when we’re in a wilderness.  Or we pull away from others.  Sometimes we feel no one can understand our pain.  And even when we are in the depths of the wilderness, it’s hard to see that God is forever present with us.

I remember that at one point in the movie, Dr. Stone says out loud “I don’t know how to pray.”  The fear of not knowing how to pray could keep us from reaching out to God.  But God doesn’t care what we say or even how we say it, and it doesn’t have to be the most beautifully crafted prayer.  It just needs to be a conversation, because God is already fully present and is trying to let this Divine presence be known to us.

Furthermore, there’s a good possibility that many of us aren’t in the wilderness.  So what if we’re the ones who don’t feel isolated by life’s trials but God is calling us to attend to someone who is?  In our call to love our neighbor as ourselves, were asked to serve our neighbors with an open heart, mind and soul and to exit our comfort zones.  Maybe we don’t know what to say to them.   Maybe we want to place ourselves far away from them because we can’t understand their pain.   Staying far away from someone in distress is easy.  But that’s not part of our call in being a neighbor.

Being a neighbor means placing ourselves in discomfort.  It means speaking to someone we’ve never spoken to before.  It means listening even though we may want to talk, talk, talk and give advice.  It means not running away from our calls from God.  It means keeping ourselves in community, even when we completely do not agree with their beliefs or their life.  And it means entering the wilderness with someone else.

This why some of our churches of different denominations are gathering together during this Lent and focusing on what it means to be a neighbor.  It’s to connect with others at different spaces in their lives as we reflect together during this sacred journey of Lent.  It’s realizing that we have neighbors close to us, and that God is also our neighbor when we are in a desolate space.

In the next few weeks, we’ll reflect on what it means to be neighbor in different situations.  We’ll think about our time as literal neighbors – with those down the street or next door.  We’ll look at our virtual neighbors, how we act online as we comment on posts or pray with others in social media.  We’ll consider what it means to be coworker, classmate, or caregiver as neighbor.  We’ll reflect on being neighbors with other churches or people who may believe differently than we do.  And we’ll place ourselves as neighbors with God’s other children across this beautiful world.

And maybe we’ll see how God is asking us to bring our literal, virtual, coworker, classmate, ecumenical and worldwide neighbor out of the wilderness or sit with them as they endure tragedy.

This Lent, let us find ways to help someone else through their wilderness.  Let us celebrate with others when it’s time to celebrate.  Let us cry with others when it’s time to mourn.  But know that we’re never alone.  No matter what our beliefs, which church we attend or where we live… if we’re in space, in a desert or in our homes… we are neighbors on this journey through the wilderness and beyond.  Amen.

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March Forth… Along with a Million Other Women

04 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

advocacy, birth control pills, Endometriosis, Endosisters, laparoscopy, lupron, March Forth, progressive Christianity, United Church of Christ

march forthToday, March 4th, the United Church of Christ and other denominations ask us to take a stand and march forth in body, mind or soul in an effort to bring justice to our world.

I march for Endometriosis.

Now, some may think this isn’t much of a justice issue.  To many, it’s another health issue to which only half of the population is susceptible.

Isn’t it just another painful period?  Aren’t periods supposed to be painful?

No.

Wait, didn’t God say that this is a punishment for Eve eating the forbidden fruit?

No.

Endometriosis is an illness when the lining that is usually found in the inside the uterus migrates  outside of the womb.  It can be found on the outside surface of the uterus, the Fallopian tubes and the ovaries not to mention the bladder, bowels and a variety of other organs.  The tissue has been found on the brain and in the lungs.

There is so much mystery surrounding Endometriosis.  They’re not sure if it’s genetic or if tissue is regurgitated into the abdominal cavity.  There is nothing we can do to prevent the disease from starting.

So besides not knowing how it begins, there is no know cure.  Doctors will prescribe birth control pills to control the growth.  If the pain continues, a laparoscopy is performed.  This is the only way Endometriosis is truly confirmed in a woman.  While they are performing the minimally invasive surgery, they will remove much of the tissue growing outside of the uterus.  Often, this will alleviate the pain, but for many of us, the growth begins again, and the pain intensifies.  Doctors will also prescribe Lupron, a drug that will place a woman into menopause for a few months.  The hope is that the Endometriosis is greatly reduced when the periods return.

Hormones have many side affects and no one really wants to have surgery.  I can tell you that it’s difficult to choose between the two.  Yet knowing how hormones wreak havoc on my body, I tend to choose surgery when the pain is consistently intolerable.

I’ve had two laparoscopic surgeries: one in 2003 (when I was diagnosed) and one in 2013.  I feel fortunate that I went over nine years without another surgery.  I seriously doubt that nine years will go by before my next one.

It’s incredible to see this great fight over the coverage of birth control when people with Endometriosis find it as a temporary solution.  Unfortunately, birth control is a “sinful” substance to many, but for a multitude of others, it returns their lives.  It should be widely available for women to use for a number of reasons.

There is one other thing: not all doctors are willing to face Endometriosis.  I’ve had a couple of wonderful physicians who were willing to take my condition seriously.  But women are told that extremely painful periods are normal.  By gynecologists.  And then they are told pregnancy and hysterectomies will cure the disease.  Yet nothing is curative.

So it’s time to stand up, to march and to let women know that painful periods aren’t what we as women should be experiencing.  It’s time to be like the woman with the hemorrhage in Mark 5 and advocate for ourselves.  We’re not willing to have these pains decade after decade when it could have been diagnosed in our teens or early 20’s.  We’re not willing to stand by as this disease takes over our bodies and robs us of our lives.  We’re not willing to let this tissue grow like weeds so that we experience defeating infertility.  It’s time to use everything we can and let our health care providers know when our body isn’t right.

And it’s time for us to stand up to our legislators and let them know to allocate more money in funding for research.

As we march forth today – most of us virtually – let us support one another in our common pain.  Let us support those we love whose pain overcomes their lives.  And let us stand up to the powers that be who can make fiscal decisions, making this disease a thing of the past.

I plan on sending a to my senators and congressional leaders.  Others will be marching in Washington D.C. and other cities all over the world on March 13.  What will you do?

Find contact information for elected officials in the United States HERE.  For more information on the Million Women March for Endometriosis, check out the website: http://www.millionwomenmarch2014.org/.

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