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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Monthly Archives: May 2018

Pentecost Prayers

17 Thursday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Liturgy, Pop, Prayers

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Tags

call to worship, Communion, Communion Liturgy, invocation, opening prayer, Pentecost, Prayer, Prayers

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Hello Friends!

I adore Pentecost. I suppose it’s the non-commercial tendencies of the holiday, the illustrations of nature that accompany the celebration, and the renewing nature of L the Holy Spirit.

Below is a link for a call to worship and opening prayer that I wrote in 2015. Also below is a link to a communion liturgy that I wrote last year.

CALL TO WORSHIP
One:​Listen for the Winds.
Many:​We hear the howling uncertainty.
One:​Feel the Breeze.
Many:​Air of comfort encircles us.
One:​See the world swaying.
Many:​The Spirit stirs us from complacency.
One:​Inhale the Breath.
Many:​The Spirit saturates our souls.

OPENING PRAYER
Restless Spirit, Fiery God,
You ignite our soul with the flames of inspiration-
Light our dimly-lit minds,
Burn in our chilled hearts.
Clear our eyes to see visions from afar.
Kindle our sleep with your dreams.
May we walk in the glowing path of Christ. Amen.

Communion liturgy for Pentecost

Prayer on RevGalBlogPals that can be used as a pastoral prayer

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A Prayer for Graduates

16 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Prayers

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Tags

College Graduation, Graduate, Graduation, High School Graduation, Prayers, Prayers for Graduates, progressive Christianity

accomplishment-ceremony-college-267885God of sunrises, new years and next chapters,
In this season of closing doors and cleaning out lockers and saying goodbye
May we remember that commencement means beginning.

May these brilliant souls remember their place on the Great Vine-
That you call them to spaces where they can strengthen the world
And love their neighbors as themselves.
May they embrace opportunities to inhale knowledge
And may they feast on wisdom.

May they know their place here at the Table of Christ
Remains open for them to dine with us again.

May grace abound in these next chapters-
Whether in classrooms or workplaces or on pilgrimages to find their callings.
When failing or falling occurs on their road,
May they know the joy of rising again.

No matter where they journey or how far they travel.
May they see your light leading their journey,
Your comfort to give them peace when traveling gets tough,
And love to sustain them in the frigid winters and blazing summers.

Amen.

 

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Mother’s Day Free Spaces

11 Friday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, grief, Holidays, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

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child-free, Childless, Childlessness, Infertility, miscarriage, Mother's Day, Mother's Day 2018, motherhood, Single, single in the sanctuary

autumn-beautiful-blur-403638

Photo by Simon Robben from Pexels

How many of our churches are Mother’s Day free spaces?

I ask this because many women do not want to come to church on Mother’s Day.  We don’t want people to talk about it, or reward moms or even just celebrate a roll that we are supposed to embrace.  There are many people in our churches who can’t have children or don’t want to or had awful parents.

They do not want to come to church on Sunday.

And yet, we look at this like a holy day.  While parents are holy people, Mother’s Day is not on the liturgical calendar.  Granted, the Law tells us to honor our mothers and fathers.  But scripture also gives us many instances when women were hurting because they couldn’t conceive.

Would Sarah, Hannah, Rachel, Rebekah, Tamar be welcome in our worship places this Sunday?  What about Elizabeth, mother of John?

Ideally, it would be wonderful to stop with the Mother’s Day gushing in sacred spaces – because women who want to worship but who also are triggered by this day won’t show up.  They aren’t welcome because they do not feel safe in the space.  Their emotions are not strong enough to carry them from the beginning to end of the service.

We may even give all of the women flowers or candy.
We may even pray for all women – including the ones hurting and enduring loss.
But they do not feel safe.

So on this Mother’s Day – even when our churches will go ahead with handing flowers and candy to women – please remember the following:

Not all women are mothers
Not all women are able to bear children.
Some moms in the room may have lost a baby.
Some have had miscarriages.
Some are facing fertility issues.
Some women have not had the opportunity to have children because life happened.
Some do not want to have them.
Some people in the room have had traumatic relationship with their moms.
Some people lost their mom in the past year and didn’t realize how this day in church would be triggering to them.
Some people have two dads or never had a mom because of family structures.  A day like this brings awkwardness – even if we honor the fathers a month later.
Some women came to church just to worship and not focus on this.

So acknowledge this day if you must – but do so in a way that is inclusive in nature.  Honor all women because it takes a village to raise children.  Honor families who have lost mothers in the past year.  Ask families who hurt on this day how can we make worship more welcoming of them.  If you have two services maybe keep one Mother’s Day-free.

It’s our job to make sure to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.  Our call is to ensure those who hurt are comforted, those who celebrate feel joyful and to challenge preconceived notions and stereotypes when the opportunity arises.

And sometimes all of that happens on Mother’s Day.

See my other stories regarding grief on Mother’s Day:
Between Childless and Childfree
Affirming All Women in Church on Mother’s Day
When Cheesecake is More Than Cheesecake
The Plans We Make

 

 

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Hagar, the Handmaid, and the Other Women

09 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

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1 Timothy 2, Abraham, Abram, concubine, Feminist Theology, Genesis 16, Genesis 21, Hagar, June, Mother's Day, Offred, Other Women, patriarchy, Pop Culture and Theology, Sarah, Sarai, Season 2, Serena Joy, slave, The Handmaid's Tale, theology

IMG_8226Note: This post includes spoilers from The Handmaid’s Tale, season 2, episode 4 entitled “Other Women.”

I see the story of Hagar in a brand new light.

Imagine that Hagar, concubine of Abram, as a young woman forced to live with a family in a new society framework.   Imagine that as they analyze her monthly cycle, she is required to have sexual relations with the man of the house.  Imagine that she cannot say no to the process – that this is her life.

This is the life of handmaid Offred – June – in the story The Handmaid’s Tale.  And this is essentially the story of Hagar.

What do we know about Hagar?  Chapter 16 of Genesis tells us that she was a slave.  She was Egyptian.  She is accused by Sarai of contempt.  She is abused by Sarai and runs away.  Years later, after she gives birth to Ishmael, she is thrown out of the community with little resources and forced into the wilderness only with her child.

The mother of Ishmael was a handmaid.  She was forced to conceive against her will.

June/Offred is Hagar.  And Hagar is a handmaid.  Like Hagar, June couldn’t say no.  Like Hagar she was property, and one of her jobs was to serve as a surrogate – a working reproductive system – for a more-privileged couple.  Like Hagar, she will undoubtedly be cast aside after she gives birth.

See the wilderness where Hagar is cast?  The Colonies may appear different, but they are exile, nonetheless.

June is viewed by Serena Joy through a lens of jealousy.  Sarai saw Hagar through a similar lens of envy, and Sarai expressed that jealousy by abusing Hagar.  In Genesis 16, Sarai is told by her husband that she can do what she wants to with her slave Hagar.  It states that Sarai “dealt harshly” with Hagar which resulted in Hagar running away.  June also runs away… only to be captured again by the powers-that-be.  While the Genesis 16 texts states that Hagar is convinced by God to go back, was that the way it really would happen?  Would God instruct a slave to return to their abusive masters?

Do I believe Hagar wanted to “show contempt” with Sarai?  No.  Do I believe that she was wrongly accused.  Probably.  If she showed contempt it was because Hagar was given the opportunity to feel some power in a powerless situation.  While it says that Sarai has the power, in all honesty, Abram has all of the power.  The patriarchal systems during the time of Abram and Sarai allowed some women to have power over others.  In all actuality, the system put into place by the men during the time fostered a environment where the women hated one another – just like in Gilead.

Sound familiar?  Like Sarai, Serena Joy has power over the handmaid but is also a slave in the system.  She is complicit and a pawn.  June lives in an oppressive system which favors some women over others with handmaids being physically and emotionally abused by the other women – especially by the wives and Aunt Lydia.

Abram looks like the innocent soul in all of this.  Frankly, after watching this show, I can no longer see how this makes Abram greater than Fred.  Abram undoubtedly has sex with Hagar against her will – or at the very least without her free and willing consent.  The patriarchy gives permission to the men to reign over the rest of the society as they peg women against women to achieve their goals.

Is it much different today?  There are slaves in our world- ones that are forced to work and have sex in order to build society and some men’s egos.  We see how slaves are rented to men for a night of sex.  Very often, what appears to be prostitution is the story of women who are forced to be a part of physical intimacy against their will.

But there is another part of all of this.  And with Mother’s Day coming up, I feel like it needs to be said: our system is built on women comparing themselves to other women.  Having children is a vital piece of the patriarchal puzzle.  How we look and with whom we are connected are other pieces.

For those of us who have not had children – and especially those who have truly wanted to give birth – it feel like a club that we are not a part of.  It feels like we’ve been left out of something truly great.  And I wonder if our society has allowed motherhood to be used as another “us vs. them” tool.

The us vs. them was felt by Sarai and Hagar.  It’s seen every time Serena Joy experiences her devastation with her own unspoken infertility.  It’s seen when June wants to return to her own life but can’t.  And it’s experienced by many in our time.

“Women shall be saved through childbirth.”  That’s what 1 Timothy 2 says.  That’s how Hagar was undoubtedly able to have a decent life for many years.  It’s also why people use words like “you don’t know what love is until you have a child.”  But it’s a message that isn’t true.  Women are valuable on their own – no matter if they are married, who they are married to, if they’ve had children, how they’ve became a mother, or whose child they are.

While motherhood is a calling by God to some women, we as a society need to stop placing it on all woman as a requirement for salvation here on earth or in heaven.  We need to stop this toxic message of us versus them.  We are women – all of us.  Married, single, parent, childless – all of us are valuable children of God and made in God’s image.

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“National Day of Prayer” Prayer

03 Thursday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Current Events, National Day Prayers, Pop, Social Justice

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#nationaldayofprayer, Church and state, National Day of Prayer, National Day Prayers, progressive Christianity, religion, separation

IMG_8144.JPG

Spirit of God who dwells among us and attempts to connect us with one another…

On this National Day of Prayer, In theory, this theory is a beautiful opportunity to pray for our country and leaders. Yet Christians and politicians have the potential to consummate and birth something unholy, we come to you this day searching for true religious freedom…

The kind our forefathers and foremothers desired at the beginning of this country. We look to you, God, to lead us into a space of plurality- where everyone has the space to pray and understand you in the ways they need. We ask you for protection for those who do not believe like the loudest Powers-That-Be. We know minority faiths of all sorts are persecuted all over the world and even held in contempt by many in our country. We send our love to our agnostic and atheist friends who are often shoved aside and alientated when church and state become too close.

We pray for those who have been hurt when church and state team up to exclude and when hypocrisy abides.

So as our leaders keep saying Jesus over and over without actually following the man, may you give us the strength to walk in the steps of the Christ. May we learn to value one another and healing as Jesus did. May we love our neighbors who are least like us. May we care for the poor, the orphan, alien and widow as we are called. May our faith be one that shines through works of love.

May gatherings on this day include all of the faithful- not just us Christians. May you remind the Powers-That-Be that there is more than one perspective or Christian perspective in the world.

May our state expand to include all healthy and loving theological perspective, and may we set aside state imagery in our houses of worship so that we can focus on loving God and neighbor.

Amen.

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Toxic Messages in the Church

01 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Social Justice

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Biblical manhood, biblical womanhood, divorce, domestic violence, evangelical, fundamentalism, Hagar, husband, Paige Patterson, separation, Social Justice, Southern Baptist, submit, toxic message

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*Note – Trigger Warning regarding domestic violence

This week, I read a Washington Post article about Paige Patterson, president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary who had a recording surface in which he stated his beliefs on abuse in marriage.

Patterson stated that a woman should “ask God to intervene” through prayer. He mentioned “You have to do what you can in the home to be submissive in every way that you can and to elevate him.” Paterson also said that he has encouraged women to leave in the worst cases – but only temporarily – because divorce is against God’s will. He released a statement on his previous recording, still not confirming that a woman abused by her husband should permanently leave him.

What Patterson fails to see is that maybe God is intervening in this relationship by calling the abused individual to leave. Sometimes, a woman will give everything she has to be submissive and build her husband’s ego – which Patterson stated she should do. What he doesn’t realize is that her husband will probably still find one tiny thing wrong and take her to task for her imperfection. Praying away abuse does not work but praying for strength to find a healthy life is what is needed in times like this.

What Patterson also does not realize is that abuse often escalates. It may start as emotional manipulation and eventually move to pushing and, later, hitting. When an abuser kills their spouse, it’s often after much time of emotional and physical abuse.

Patterson is far from the only clergy who encourages a wife to stay with her husband during abuse. When going on social media and the internet, many stories surface on the times women have been told by their pastors to stay with their husbands and try harder.

But what about divorce? Doesn’t Malachi 2 state that God hates divorce?

Yes, but does anyone really like divorce? Two people are separating their lives from one another, and no one wants to experience this pain and grief. Yet realizing that the circumstances of the relationship may be unknown to us is crucial. Divorce needs to be placed in the correct context.

In the Hebrew scriptures, the word for divorce meant to abandon or toss out. It was used in texts such as when Abraham expelled Hagar and Ishmael, leaving them vulnerable and without resources. Women didn’t have the same agency during Biblical times as we do today, so these women needed to be married or associated with a man in order to survive. This is not the same as needing to leave a relationship in order to escape abuse. When being abused, women often need to leave in order to survive. Like Abraham and Hagar, abandoning someone who will then experience poverty through divorce is unethical. But abandoning someone in order to find safety is another circumstance altogether.

Women of faith do not deserve being told by their Christian leaders that they must stay in an abusive relationship just because Biblical texts state that divorce is wrong. Women of faith must understand that each of these texts were written in various contexts. The New Testament epistles mentioned that women shall submit to their husbands. However, in Genesis 1, women and men are both created in the image of God. As leaders in the Christian faith, we are called by God to promote a message that all people have dignity and encourage others to make healthy decisions for themselves.

Around this time twenty years ago I left an emotionally abusive relationship. I was exhausted being told over and over that I wasn’t good enough and being blamed for non-issues. The experience made a lasting impact on me. While we were not married, I could see how someone being emotionally abused in a marriage would need to remove themselves from their abuser’s presence. There should not be blame on a woman (or any gender) who leaves a relationship to protect their body, mind and soul. God values each of us and longs for us to love ourselves as God loves us.

Just like God hates it when people leave their significant others destitute in a breakup or divorce, God hates when people manipulate and abuse the ones with whom they are in a relationship. All of us reflect the image of God, and if our significant others do not respect this, then we need to find a new path in our lives.

If you or a friend need additional information on domestic violence or abusive relationships, go to http://www.thehotline.org/ or call 1-800-799-7233.

Originally posted on the SONKA UCC blog.

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