Monthly Archives: April 2013

God’s Grace is Much Bigger Than Suicide

29 Monday Apr 2013

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A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post in response to the suicide of Rick Warren’s child.  I still stand by my belief that people who commit suicide do not go to hell.

Today in this community, a high school student shot himself in his classroom.  As far as we know, he still struggles for his life.

No one is sure why this student would shoot himself in the classroom or even if he was trying to attempt suicide.

We’re not sure of much.  But I am sure that God still loves this young man.

Whether someone’s intention was to kill themselves or not, God is the God of grace and love who will continue to pursue us to the farthest place in the universe.  Psalm 139 reminds us that God is with us no matter how far we try to flee from God.  Romans 8:38-39 remind us that nothing will separate us from God’s love – and that includes suicide.

So today, we pray for this young man and his family.  We pray for those in the classroom who experienced this trauma.  God is with all of you and so are we.

Feel free to read this post I had written about the suicide of Rick Warren’s son:

Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

via Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

Remembering the Armenian Genocide

25 Thursday Apr 2013

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Here is my article at the Huffington Post.  I’m blessed that I can share my grandfather’s story so that the Armenian Genocide of 1915 will be remembered.

 

The Armenian Genocide memorial in Boston

The Armenian Genocide memorial in Boston

At the finish line

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

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finish line“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7)

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us…” (Hebrews 12:1)

Back when I used to run in more races (usually 5k races), I was still not in the best shape.  I was exhausted past the halfway mark, if not earlier in the race.  I was barely making it to the end.  But when I saw the silhouette of the finish line, I began to find my second wind.

Quite often, there were people lined up on both sides of this end point.

Even though I was running on fumes, short of breath, feeling I was going to have a heart attack or get sick, I would begin to feel a positive energy as I grew closer and closer to the line.  The energy of those cheering reached to me.  As I approached the last few steps, the crowd of strangers were cheering as I sprinted the final handful of strides.

It didn’t matter that I was usually closer to the end of the crowd who was trying to complete the race.  These strangers were called to be cheering us on, no matter who we are or how fast we could compete.

And, one evening, as I crossed the finish line, it occurred to me that the kingdom of God is like the finish line of a race.

I had finished the race, like it said in the above mentioned 2 Timothy text.  I gave all I had to fighting fatigue and doubt.  And then I saw the great cloud of witnesses, embracing their gift of exhortation (encouragement), giving me the last bits of energy and faith I needed to run my last few steps.

I thought to myself – maybe this is like what the transition from our lives on earth to our lives in heaven in God is like.  Maybe those who loved us and those we hardly knew are the great cloud of witnesses cheering us as we reach the finish line and celebrate the race completion.  What a beautiful image of what heaven could be!

And that’s the heaven we experience on earth – at the finish line of races when friend and stranger cheer us on to victory and completion of our goal.  There is only love at the finish line – love from those we know and those we don’t.  There is rarely ill will at the finish line but, instead, genuine gratitude for finishing the race and being loved by all of those around us.  Many of us are trying to find our energy after greatly exerting ourselves, but words and smiles of love are still in our presence.

But Monday was different.  It wasn’t the kingdom of God as we would hope to see it on earth.   As numerous runners neared and crossed the finish line, explosions rattles and injured those at the end of the run.  The people who have answered God’s call to encourage friends and strangers finishing the race were struck with physical and emotional objects and flames.  These are people who were there to share their love with fellow humans.  These are people who were trying to help their neighbors experience the true kingdom of God.

On Monday, that glimpse of what the kingdom of God looks like here on earth was shattered.  It was destroyed in a matter of moments.

Instead of love and peace, trauma and fear now have entered the hearts of many.  Some may be tempted to quit their racing.  Others may find it dangerous to stand and cheer on the many runners.

Right now it’s hard to see that God is the God of resilience and resurrections.  As time passes and healing begins, many will eventually leave behind fear in the tomb and resurrect into a place of faith and hope.  They will lace up their shoes again.  They will rejoin the great cloud of witnesses at the end of the race.  It may take time, but I pray that many who suffered today will find their way back to the finish line.

I look forward to meeting these great cloud of witnesses and fellow runners the next time I run the great race of life… or my next 5k.

My prayers are with all of those in Boston – especially those grieving, those healing and those helping, with runners and spectators of the Boston Marathon and with runners and spectators everywhere.

Inscription

14 Sunday Apr 2013

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If you like poetry and/or liturgy, follow me at my poetry blog: somedayapoet.wordpress.com

Musings about Liturgical Adventures, Poetic Journeys and Such

How long did you hands linger
Over the inside cover
Of the book of love poetry
That you gave me in our past life together?

As you penned the words of love and admiration,
Did you think our hearts would dwell together
From century to century
From this life to the next?

The ink has faded.
The book has been stashed away,
And the sentiments have vanished.

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Incomplete – Alanis Morissette

10 Wednesday Apr 2013

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Life isn’t a destination but a journey. It’s a journey which isn’t finished. We keep looking for the finish lines along the way instead of enjoying the scenery of the journey. This song is a beautiful reminder that we are all complete in our incompleteness, and God’s ok with this.

Remembering Birthdays

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

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zcakeAs I cross into midnight of this very significant birthday, I can’t help but remember a great number of birthdays gone by…

I struggled with influenza at 10.  And then I had to reschedule my birthday party twice.  The first time, I had a fever.  The second time, I woke up with nausea and low blood sugar.  The third time was a charm.

My house was filled with boxes on my 13th birthday.  Everything seemed so unsettled around me.  We moved two days later.

I invited a number of people to celebrate my 18th birthday at my parents’ house.  Of course, my parents were home (I was a well-behaved teenager).  But all my friends told me they couldn’t make it.  So the three friends who could attend took me out for dinner.  When we got back to my parents’ house, a multitude of friends yelled in unison “Surprise.”

It wasn’t a surprise.  I knew they were planning it.

Around my 19th birthday, I was dating a guy for a couple of months.  He took me out for my birthday dinner somewhere on The Hill in St. Louis.  When the check came, he asked me to pay for my own meal… but to slip the money under the table so no one could see that I was paying for myself.  I’m not sure how I allowed that relationship to last three more months.

I waited around for my boyfriend to join me at my parents house to ring in birthday #20.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And I believe tension blossomed when he finally showed up.

Celebrating my 21st birthday by going out at midnight.  I celebrated with the boyfriend, another classmate and my friend Lisa who died just a year ago.  The day after my birthday, I headed up to Canada to watch my grandma die.

Twenty-two was spent at a small but laid-back and cheerful gathering at my friend Mike’s apartment.

I celebrated 23 in Florida.  I had just interviewed and received my first real job.

My friends surprised me with a party for 25.  I didn’t have a clue they were planning my birthday.  But then it had crossed my mind that a party could be in the works as I walked into the restaurant.  I was surprised that time.

Then, the day after my 25th birthday was one of the most heartbreaking nights I’ve had in any relationship.

My 30th birthday was the day Baghdad fell.  And I cried when realizing what I had not yet completed in my life.  But my birthday cake was delicious.

On my 31st birthday, mom, dad and I went to the Magic Kingdom in Orlando.  It was delightful.  Because I was wearing a “It’s my birthday” button, I was wished “Happy Birthday” by countless strangers that day, most of whom were Disney employees.

My 32nd birthday was to be celebrated with another guy I was kind of seeing.  But then he kept delaying and delaying getting together with me.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And much later that evening, he finally called me after deciding to hang out with his adult nephew.  The next day, he gave me my birthday gift: glass jars.

From the time I was 35 until 37, I celebrated my birthday with seminary friends in St. Louis.  Usually, we would gather at Schlafly’s Bottleworks in Maplewood.  When I went back there for my 39th birthday, the restaurant was closed for the evening, and the party had to be moved to Roadhouse in Webster Groves.

Which brings me here to 39 (again), or also known as 40.  Forty years of birthdays, some I fondly remember and some crushed my heart.  But here are a few things I have learned from my birthdays:

  • I believe I’ve gotten more birthday smiles from strangers than old boyfriends.  But nothing compares to the birthdays I’ve spent with my friends and family who encircled me with love.
  • Now that I’m 40, I’m going to say it: I’m happy I’m not married to any of these guys.   Shouldn’t the people who say they love and cherish us live up to their promises – at least one day of the year?  Or give us a gift that has personal significance (even if they didn’t pay much for it)?  If they spend time with us, shouldn’t the words they use be words of love?  Lost loves: I’m glad I’ve know you.  I’ve learned much from you.  But now I’m looking towards the future where I am treated with dignity.
  • Gifts aren’t  necessary.   But when they are given, the greatest gifts are given from the heart and not the pocketbook.  Frankly, the greatest gift is time.
  • No birthday is perfect.  The more we try to perfect the day and raise our expectations, the more the day disappoints us.  When the unexpected happens or when expectations are low, then the day can only get better.
  • Each and every birthday greeting warms my heart.  I don’t care if I know you or how I know you, when you wish me “Happy Birthday”, you have ignited my soul.  Thank you.

Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren

07 Sunday Apr 2013

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Today, I heard the news that Rick Warren’s son committed suicide.  I can’t imagine what pain a parent would feel upon hearing the news that his or her own son ended their own life.

Granted, I may not agree with many theological points that Rick Warren believes.  His style of ministering and preaching may not be my style.

But, without a doubt, he is a child of God just as you and I are children of God.  He is part of the same Body of Christ that we belong.  He is made in the image of God the way all of us are made in God’s image.  God loves Rick Warren as much as God loves all of us.  And on the other side of heaven, Rick Warren will be there along with all of us.

Right now, God mourns with Rick.  God cries with Rick.  God surrounds Rick and his family with love, grace, comfort and peace.

We are called to do the same.

Because there is a hole in the heart and spirit of Rick, there is a hole in our spirits as well.  Because we are all part of the same vine and branches, we feel the branch that has been lost because Rick’s son Matthew is not walking with us on earth.  We feel a tremor in the whole body because Rick and his family have experienced this loss.

I tire hearing some theological traditions that believe that suicide sends people to hell.  Suicide is a result of mental illness.  As depression is a health issue, it can consume a person so greatly.  People do not choose to end their lives because Satan or some “evil force” causes them commit suicide.  Because of body chemistry and hormones, depression grasps the emotions of a person and causes them to understand reality in different ways.   This is a scientific and medical reality.  So Matthew isn’t in hell.  Matthew is finally seeing God in God’s fullest.  Matthew is able to see himself as God sees him.  Matthew can experience God’s full love and grace.  And Matthew is still a member of the great Cloud of Witnesses who will welcome us as we transition from this life to the next.

May the Warren family feel God’s peace, love and comfort during this time.  We pray for all who are contemplating suicide tonight and those who experience deep depression.  Amen.