Category Archives: Television

Art and Life in Step: The Handmaid and the Refugee Parent

20 Wednesday Jun 2018

Posted by in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Social Justice, Television

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This post contains spoilers for The Handmaid’s Tale, season 2, episode 10.

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I can’t imagine a more apropos episode of The Handmaid’s Tale for today.

Earlier today, I saw the following Instagram from Elizabeth Moss:

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I had a feeling I knew where this episode was going…

After some very brutal scenes earlier in the episode that needs a trigger warning, the last 1/3 of the show presents us with a familiar storyline. June/Offred is granted the opportunity to visit her daughter Hannah and spend a few rare moments with her child. As we see earlier in the series, the child was kidnapped from her parents and June was forced into sexual and surrogate slavery.

The conversation is heartbreaking. As their visit continues, the child asks her (former) mother why she didn’t try hard enough to look for her. She hides behind the Martha as she is so unfamiliar with the woman that gave birth to her and raised her for the early years of her life. Hannah screams out for her mother as people pry the child out of the mother’s arms at the end of their short visit. The two do not know whether or not they will see each other again.

So this is just another dystopian series, right?

Or is this too real?

What we see in this episode and hear on the news are eerily similar: children being ripped from the arms and lives of their parents.

(As they filmed the episode, I highly doubt they knew this episode would be airing this week of all weeks.)

Like what is going on today, the party who very much wants to push a pro-family platform destroys families that cross their path.  Children are ripped from the lives of their parents, undoubtedly crying themselves to sleep as they abide in a world of uncertainty.

Some people believe it’s part of God’s plan or divine intervention that such horrific moves are made. They want us to follow they demands of the government instead of God’s ethics. And yet, as they continue to believe they are the good guys, our world becomes like Canada in The Handmaid’s Tale: seeing a humanitarian crisis unfold.

Like some posts I’ve seen online this week, leaders in the Bible who separated children from their parents were not the “good guys.” Rather, they were Pharaoh and Herod. They were notorious not only for taking children away but killing them as well.

I don’t think any “Good Christian” wants to identify with the two of them. But here our Jesus-professing leaders are- following in their footsteps.

Dystopia is a breath away from us right now, America. When children and parents are ripped apart from one another, and the children are kept in cages, not allowed to be picked by adults, and may never see their parents again, the distopian nightmare is real.

You may read this and say the refugees have broken the law. But they came here because their living conditions were so unstable and dangerous. And we turn our backs on them. We’ve been told over and over in Scripture that we are to care for the orphan, widow, and alien/stranger, and we ignore the many Biblical texts that give us this mandate. No matter what the law says or what the powers-that-be want the law to look like, Jesus was (1) a refugee and (2) a law breaker as he healed on the sabbath. Our powers-that-be wish to forget this.

I encourage each of you to watch the last 1/3 of the episode. Hear the screams between mother and child. Watch the tears swelling in their eyes. This is not fiction. This is not dystopia. This is America in 2018.

Hagar, the Handmaid, and the Other Women

09 Wednesday May 2018

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IMG_8226Note: This post includes spoilers from The Handmaid’s Tale, season 2, episode 4 entitled “Other Women.”

I see the story of Hagar in a brand new light.

Imagine that Hagar, concubine of Abram, as a young woman forced to live with a family in a new society framework.   Imagine that as they analyze her monthly cycle, she is required to have sexual relations with the man of the house.  Imagine that she cannot say no to the process – that this is her life.

This is the life of handmaid Offred – June – in the story The Handmaid’s Tale.  And this is essentially the story of Hagar.

What do we know about Hagar?  Chapter 16 of Genesis tells us that she was a slave.  She was Egyptian.  She is accused by Sarai of contempt.  She is abused by Sarai and runs away.  Years later, after she gives birth to Ishmael, she is thrown out of the community with little resources and forced into the wilderness only with her child.

The mother of Ishmael was a handmaid.  She was forced to conceive against her will.

June/Offred is Hagar.  And Hagar is a handmaid.  Like Hagar, June couldn’t say no.  Like Hagar she was property, and one of her jobs was to serve as a surrogate – a working reproductive system – for a more-privileged couple.  Like Hagar, she will undoubtedly be cast aside after she gives birth.

See the wilderness where Hagar is cast?  The Colonies may appear different, but they are exile, nonetheless.

June is viewed by Serena Joy through a lens of jealousy.  Sarai saw Hagar through a similar lens of envy, and Sarai expressed that jealousy by abusing Hagar.  In Genesis 16, Sarai is told by her husband that she can do what she wants to with her slave Hagar.  It states that Sarai “dealt harshly” with Hagar which resulted in Hagar running away.  June also runs away… only to be captured again by the powers-that-be.  While the Genesis 16 texts states that Hagar is convinced by God to go back, was that the way it really would happen?  Would God instruct a slave to return to their abusive masters?

Do I believe Hagar wanted to “show contempt” with Sarai?  No.  Do I believe that she was wrongly accused.  Probably.  If she showed contempt it was because Hagar was given the opportunity to feel some power in a powerless situation.  While it says that Sarai has the power, in all honesty, Abram has all of the power.  The patriarchal systems during the time of Abram and Sarai allowed some women to have power over others.  In all actuality, the system put into place by the men during the time fostered a environment where the women hated one another – just like in Gilead.

Sound familiar?  Like Sarai, Serena Joy has power over the handmaid but is also a slave in the system.  She is complicit and a pawn.  June lives in an oppressive system which favors some women over others with handmaids being physically and emotionally abused by the other women – especially by the wives and Aunt Lydia.

Abram looks like the innocent soul in all of this.  Frankly, after watching this show, I can no longer see how this makes Abram greater than Fred.  Abram undoubtedly has sex with Hagar against her will – or at the very least without her free and willing consent.  The patriarchy gives permission to the men to reign over the rest of the society as they peg women against women to achieve their goals.

Is it much different today?  There are slaves in our world- ones that are forced to work and have sex in order to build society and some men’s egos.  We see how slaves are rented to men for a night of sex.  Very often, what appears to be prostitution is the story of women who are forced to be a part of physical intimacy against their will.

But there is another part of all of this.  And with Mother’s Day coming up, I feel like it needs to be said: our system is built on women comparing themselves to other women.  Having children is a vital piece of the patriarchal puzzle.  How we look and with whom we are connected are other pieces.

For those of us who have not had children – and especially those who have truly wanted to give birth – it feel like a club that we are not a part of.  It feels like we’ve been left out of something truly great.  And I wonder if our society has allowed motherhood to be used as another “us vs. them” tool.

The us vs. them was felt by Sarai and Hagar.  It’s seen every time Serena Joy experiences her devastation with her own unspoken infertility.  It’s seen when June wants to return to her own life but can’t.  And it’s experienced by many in our time.

“Women shall be saved through childbirth.”  That’s what 1 Timothy 2 says.  That’s how Hagar was undoubtedly able to have a decent life for many years.  It’s also why people use words like “you don’t know what love is until you have a child.”  But it’s a message that isn’t true.  Women are valuable on their own – no matter if they are married, who they are married to, if they’ve had children, how they’ve became a mother, or whose child they are.

While motherhood is a calling by God to some women, we as a society need to stop placing it on all woman as a requirement for salvation here on earth or in heaven.  We need to stop this toxic message of us versus them.  We are women – all of us.  Married, single, parent, childless – all of us are valuable children of God and made in God’s image.

The First to Go

26 Thursday Apr 2018

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battle-board-board-game-700971I was a student in my father’s honor’s Civics class during my freshman year of high school.  For some reason, I remember more from that class than many others.  The time period was late Cold War; often talked about was Glasnost – a concept of openness that (I’m sure) many wish was present in that land today.

It should have come to no surprise that he told our class that he would be one of the first rounded up in some authoritarian regimes.  As a teacher – and a teacher of government who encouraged critical thinking – a government which completely controlled the people would round educators like him up and either imprison them indefinitely or kill them immediately.

His dad (my grandfather) was the survivor of the Armenian Genocide in 1915.  The official day of recognition falls on the anniversary of Red Sunday in which many Armenian intellectuals were arrested.  Many later perished in prison.

From my previous research of the Armenian Genocide, I remember events at the beginning of the atrocities.  As I looked up this information today, I found a term in which I wasn’t familiar: decapitation strike.  Apparently, as a means of achieving instability and removing leadership, one party will round up leaders and intellectuals to decentralize power and avoid resistance.  In genocides of people, the oppressors will use opportunities like this to control the remainder of their opposition, remove their resourceful leaders who are the heart and head of the movement, and allow them to live in a state of fear.

As my dad said – those who provide knowledge (especially contradictory to the oppressors) or allow for freedom of thought are the first to go.

With the anniversary of the genocide happening the day prior to the release of second season episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale, I suppose I was thinking this when I was watching the season two, episode two. 

(SPOILER ALERT)

June/Offred is on the run.  Members of the underground movement trying to help her escape take her to The Boston Globe offices.  Obviously, the offices are empty, but as June walks around (and discovers where she is), she sees desks waiting for their workers with family photographs and Boston Red Sox gear.  Then she enters another area of the offices and sees a row of nooses dangling from the ceiling.  Nearby is a wall with a number of bullet holes.  Journalists and others who worked at the newspaper were killed in those very spots.

Because when the intellectuals and those who provide information are still alive as an authoritarian regime rises, they pose a threat.  And this is always something to keep in mind when we repeatedly hear “fake news” from our leaders about reputable news sources.  The powers-that-be are weakening the values of a healthy country – one that encourages freedom of thought and freedom of the press.

I think back to what my dad said thirty years ago, and something else comes to mind: I would now be part of that group.  When those of us who are leaders, knowledge-providers and proponents of critical thinking are in opposition the authoritarian regime in our land, we must realize that we, too, could be the ones imprisoned or killed.  Now, I don’t think this is going to happen here anytime soon – at least I hope not.  But we all must stay awake to the possibility that these things can happen anywhere at anytime.

They happened to the leaders of Armenia 103 years ago, including to another 45-year-old clergy member with the last name Torigian: Father Vaghinag Torigian.  He refused to give information to the oppressive powers, realizing that he would probably lose his life either way but knowing that he would if he didn’t comply.

Unless we learn from the past just like George Santayana said, atrocities will happen again.  But we must keep moving forward to work for justice – even in scary and threatening times.  This is what it means to “take up the cross.”  We must be willing to fully live into our values – even if our lives our threatened.  Jesus did.  He was willing to be authentic to his faith by not only sharing God’s love, but standing on the side of the people and against the powers-that-be.

Depending on what you think of Christianity and faith, some may see that Jesus was also one of the first to go of his new faith movement…

That’s what has happened when the Armenian Genocide started.  To some: justice is more valuable than life.  It’s our call to ensure that all people are treated fully human and that our agency remains intact.

Are we willing to go to the cross… or be shot… or hung for what we believe?

Death’s Frequent Visits and the Spirit Which Remains

28 Wednesday Dec 2016

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carrie_fisher_2013_cropped_retouched“2016 has been a terrible year,” I’ve heard repeatedly since January.  First, it was David Bowie, quickly followed by Alan Rickman.  Over the year shocking and unexpected announcements were made about the deaths of Prince, Mohammad Ali and Gene Wilder.

We can’t forget the many people who had smaller roles in our seventies/eighties pop culture: George Gaines from Punky Brewster and Police Academy, George Kennedy from The Naked Gun movies, James Noble from Benson, Ron Glass and Abe Vigoda from Barney Miller, and the Pat Harrington from One Day at a Time.  Creators like Garry Marshall who gave us Happy Days and Pretty Woman aren’t here anymore. Even music got a little quieter when Maurice White from Earth, Wind and Fire as well as Glen Frey from The Eagles died.

And then this month happened.

Our beloved 80’s dad Alan Thicke tragically and suddenly passed due to a malfunctioning aorta.  Then came Carrie Fisher’s heart attack on an airplane.  They said she was stable… so she should be ok, right?  Before we heard any more on her condition, George Michael died on Christmas Day.  Two days later, Fisher died.

For my fellow Generation X-ers, our entire childhood is fading fast before us.  Two thousand sixteen reminded us of this.

george_michael_02_bisThe Grim Reaper’s frequent visits happen occasionally.  In my personal life, I remember the uncomfortable year of 1994.  First, my grandma died of metastatic breast cancer.  Then my grandfather had a massive stroke.  Finally, my grandfather’s brother died from a sudden heart attack in the doctor’s office.  My soul felt a bit worn by the end of the year – especially after a breakup of a long term relationship in October.

Grief is the greatest experience I remember from that year.  It’s amazing how so much grief will cloud one specific year of your life.

alan_rickman_after_seminar_28329As a pastor, I see how death comes in waves.  There are times when we have three funerals in one week.  Or there are times when our congregations seem like they’ve lost so many people in one year.  All Saint’s Sunday is filled with names of our recently deceased read aloud.  I’ve seen this happen in two specific years of my ministry so far: 2010 and 2015.

These are people who we knew and with whom we spoke and with whom I worked.  This still makes me why we experience so much grief when a celebrity dies.

We’ve never really knew them – we think to ourselves.  But their contribution to the soundtracks and movies of our lives leads us to consider them a close part of who we are and our life experiences.  Remember the middle school sleepovers and singing Prince songs at 1a.m…. or how many times we watched Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves during the summer of 1991 – – right after graduating high school.  Or how many Star Wars movies with Carrie Fisher did we see on the big screen.  The first I watched at the theaters was Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.  Leia is the one who rescues her beloved and then strangles her captor after she is enslaved.  Fisher brought to life one of the strongest females on screen – transforming from a strong-willed princess to a general in charge of the continuing rebellion.

prince_at_coachella_001They are part of our stories, and we are forever grateful for their existence and contributions.  We are grateful for their vulnerability in art.

Which reminds me of the lines in the play Our Town.  After the main female protagonist Emily dies from childbirth, she yearns to experience life once again.  She experiences a semi-ordinary day in her life – giving her the realization that she really didn’t experience life while she ways living it.  Emily says to the state manager narrator of the story: “Does anyone ever realize life while they live it… every, every minute?  The Stage Manager replies “No.  Saints and poets maybe… they do some.”

David.  Alan. Gene. Maurice. Prince. Alan. George. Carrie.  You felt all of  the feelings.  Your experience of emotions influenced your craft in generous and ingenious ways.  You were the saints and poets that were mentioned by the Stage Manager in Our Town.  You experienced the range of emotions – even to the point when it affected your health and well-being.  And you are gone today.  But your experiences remain with you forever on that side of heaven where all of you abide.  Fortunately, your gifts remain with us forever.

Thank you for your gifts, your risks, your authenticity.  Thank you for being you.

Death cannot take you fully away from us because your lasting contributions are still here. This is what everyday resurrection is about.  2016 did not win.

*****

(I missed many other artists and leaders who passed this year as well and who contributed so much.  For a full list of notable people who died in 2016, see this article.)

 

Single in the Sanctuary: In Search of a “Normal Life”

10 Tuesday May 2016

Posted by in Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Single in the Sanctuary, Television

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sw

© 2004 Paramount Pictures and Dreamworks Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

True confession: I have had many moments when I wish I was a Stepford Wife…

Now, 90-95% of my life I wouldn’t want to be a cookie cutter girl.  And if you know me, you know that I’m far from being cut from the same cloth as everyone else.

In my twenties, I was a member of the Junior League.  As most of the members were wives with husbands who made upper-middle to lower-upper class salaries, my single self who made a lower-middle class non-profit salary felt extremely out of place.  There were more times in those early years when I wanted to have the lives of the women who surrounded me.

The harder I tried to have lives like theirs, the more I was being called away from that lifestyle.  I was a trapezoid-shaped peg attempting to fit into a round hole.

Since my twenties, I stopped caring about living the rich or semi-rich life and having a bazillion square foot house – especially now that I’m a pastor.  I appreciate being able to support myself and take pride in not “needing” a man to take care of me but rather having a man in my life to walk besides me.

Being single past your early-to-mid thirties is hard to swallow – mostly because we’re different than most of society.  Some days adapting to this is not exactly easy.  I remember questioning God and shaking my fist to the Divine.  Why can’t my life be as “ideal” as most of those around me, God?

Of course, ideal is what it looks like on the outside… We don’t know what happens offline…

Remember when Carrie Bradshaw says to her friends in a season two episode of Sex and the City “The world is made up of two types of women: the simple girls and the Katie girls.  I’m a Katie girl.”  The “Katie girl” is in reference to Barbara Streisand’s character in The Way We Were.  Carrie was another trapezoid-shaped peg trying to fit into a round hole.    There are people who follow social graces, speak well, dress impeccably, have perfect home and look like a polished human being.  That was not Carrie Bradshaw.

That is not me.  And at 43, I’m pretty resigned to the fact that it will never be me.

I wasn’t made to be a Stepford Wife or president of Junior League or a simple girl or a cookie-cutter life.  I wasn’t called to have a life that mirrors most everyone else.  I wasn’t made to be the same as most of my friends and colleagues.  I am quirky, nerdy, weird and wonderfully made.

I aspire to one day own a townhouse.  I hope to have a smaller wedding someday that reflects who we are as a couple and looks much less like a production.  I hope to keep preaching, keep writing, keep advocating and keep being just slightly more quirky than most people I know.

Simple Girls, Stepford Wives and normal people who fit the mold of a cookie-cutter (if they truly exist) are just as much made in God’s image, loved by God, used by God and are called by God.  And those of us who are “Katie girls” who don’t fit molds and are weird and nerdy and complicated in almost every part of their lives are also made in God’s image, loved by God, used by God and are called by God.  We are all just asked by God to share God’s love in a variety of ways.

In the words of Oscar Wilde “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

 

 

 

A Grace-Deprived World

05 Thursday Nov 2015

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Image from TVFanatic.com

Tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy had two beautiful storylines focusing on major errors and the grace we hold back from those who we expect to be perfect.  The more prominent of the two stories dealt with resident Dr. Penny Blake who made fatal errors errors in Dr. Derek Shepherd’s care.  Derek’s physician wife, Dr. Meredith Grey, is extra-hard on her as this newer doctor tries to be the best she can while living in the cloud of shame and doubt.

A minor storyline in the episode was an unmarried pastor who inadvertently sent an inappropriate video of his girlfriend to everyone in the church.  Needless to say, the saints of the congregation as well as his governing body automatically wanted him fired.  For one mistake.  Of course, with a case like this, it is understandable that the clergy would be reprimanded, but hopefully given the opportunity to redeem themselves through a process of reconciliation.  But the one who preaches forgiveness and dedicates his life to serving others is automatically deemed evil when making an error.

Tonight’s episode is a good reminder that we are a grace-deprived society.

How do we stop depriving others of forgiveness?  First, we each need to say this out loud: we all make mistakes – no exceptions.  Those who deprive others of grace forget that they, too, make errors and thrive on holding grudges and pointing fingers when possible.  The funny thing is that each of those physicians on Grey’s Anatomy holding a grudge had made errors at one point or another in their careers, causing someone to lose their life or an optimal state of well-being.  Yet they were holding this one physician to an unrealistic level.

We’re equal opportunity broken people, and we each deserve equal amounts of grace.

Secondly, without grace, the repentant person living in the shame spiral tends to make more errors.  It happened to Dr. Blake while she tried to prove to Meredith that she was a decent doctor.  At the end of the episode, Meredith says “Our shame can choke us, it can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.”  Yet it’s hard to release the shame when others continuously remind us of our brokenness.

Think about a time in which you’ve made a mistake.  Other people poured the shame upon you instead of mercy.  As you moved forward, was it easy to clear your head of that mistake?  And how well did you do your work as you worked in the self-fulfilling prophecy bubble?  From my experience, I tend to make more mistakes around those who have not forgiven me because I’m trying to impress them even more – to make up for my error.  In my intense focus on making these people happy, I tend to mess up even more.  Shame leads to trying to please others, and there will be some who we will never make happy.  In fact, it’s not our job to make people happy (something of which I must remind myself each and every day).

Third, God has already forgiven us.  We may not have forgiven ourselves for the error.  Others are still holding our mistakes over our heads.  But God is way ahead of the game, wanted us to move forward in healthy and productive ways.

When I see others who profess to be Christians shaming others for their mistakes, I often remember the parable of the unforgiving debtor (Matthew 18).  We tend to adopt this belief that I am allowed to be forgiven, but I don’t have to forgive you.  Yet the brilliant Jesus gave us a parable reminding his followers that if we expect to be given grace by God, we also need to extend that grace to others – not just seven times but seventy-seven times.  If we want God to forgive us, we must also forgive.

Lastly, there people in some positions who we hold to higher standards, including clergy, doctors, police, teachers, etc. Tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a reminder that clergy and doctors are considered next to God.  When we fail – even just ONE mistake – the mistake means more to anyone else.  None of us are perfect.  Yes, there are some in each of these careers who are toxic, biased and careless.  But we are not God.  We will never be perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Watching this episode and through the many conversations I’ve had with people over the course of my life, I see that grace is something that we hoard for ourselves and are not willing to spread to others.  We would rather someone squirm in the pits of shame rather than find the release of mistakes through the salvific act of forgiveness.  We are a grace-deprived society.  Somewhere between God and the repentant person, grace has been captured and held hostage.  What will we do to allow grace to flow freely once again – in our churches, our hospitals, our highways, our schools and every single corner of our world?

We Have a Sex Problem, Christianity

29 Friday May 2015

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Christianity has a sex problem.

When it comes to physically intimate acts, by reputation Christians are known to disallow any acts between anyone except a married heterosexual couple.  Those who are single, co-habitating, and any LGBT person must remain completely and totally chaste.  Many intimate acts, including kissing (in some religious sects), are absolutely wrong in premarital relationships.

So when we hear stories of a fundamentalist Christian teen who molests multiple minor girls, we notice mixed reactions.  Some believe it’s like all other sexual sins – no more or less sinful.  Others name the acts of molestation as a more heinous crime.

The problem comes down to whether we see sex outside of marriage as breaking a legal code or something that has the potential of being a healthy act.  More conserving Christians will note that all sexual acts outside of heterosexual marriage are sinful.  They may even imply that ALL sexual acts not in the confines of marriage are equally sinful.  And they may even mention that everyone is an equal opportunity sinner.

Like many other progressive Christians, I personally don’t think that all sexual acts outside of marriage are considered sinful. Yes, this is absolutely contradictory to what the loudest people in Christianity believe.  But after placing Scripture in conversation with reason, tradition, experience together, I see that sometimes, there are no definite answers to whether someone should engage in sex outside of marriage.  Instead, there are many questions that arise: Is the situation healthy and safe?  Do both people respect one another?  Is anyone being hurt by this encounter?

For a moment, let’s put aside our differences. For those who still may believe that intimacy should not be outside of marriage, we must come together to considered one factor: some sexual acts are more devastating and painful, thus making them more sinful.  And the reason is the lack of consent.

Two consenting people having sex may just be two consenting people having sex. It’s a potentially healthy expression of the way two people like/respect/admire/love one another.  Not everyone will feel it is right to engage in premarital sex before marriage.  People who wait shouldn’t be called names and shamed – just like people who engage in sex before marriage should not be shamed.  Individual choice should be respected – as long as people are being healthy and safe.  We must respect that some people will engage in sex outside of marriage and others will not, and we must be as loving as possible to someone no matter which they choose.

But here’s when we get into a problem.  There is a HUGE difference in how we see God in relation to our sex lives.  Some will see God’s presence and blessing in an intimate consensual relationship prior to marriage.  Others will see God’s condemnation.  Some will pray to God to bless their sexual union.  Others believe God wants nothing to do with our sex lives – especially outside of marriage.

No matter which side of the conversation we fall, most of us can probably agree that sometimes there’s sin involved in sex – especially when one person is using the other, levying their power over their partner, or manipulating another person into sexual acts.  When we hear stories of rape, sexual assault, molestation, drugging a person to have sex, taking advantage of a drunk or drugged person, and touching someone inappropriately, we are listening to non-consensual sexual encounters.  Because these acts damage the relationship between God, neighbor and self, sexual abuse is, undoubtedly, sin.  Additionally some sexual encounters within an unhealthy marriage are sinful as well, notably when one spouse requires the other to become intimate.

I’m extremely tired of hearing “all sin is equal sin.”  No, that’s not the case.  When two people are expressing love or respect to one another, that is not damaging to God and neighbor like when one person is levying power over another person.  These two acts are not even in the same ball park.  I may sound like I’m judging, but when you hear the pain that comes from many women’s experience with sexual abuse, it’s time to change the system.

Just because Deuteronomy 22:38-39 says that a man can rape a woman (as long as he marries her) does not mean he should treat the woman like an object.  Additionally, just because Lot offered his daughters to be raped while they still lived in Sodom doesn’t mean we can look the other way when women’s bodies are used as commodities.  Likewise, it wasn’t right when they had non-consensual sex with their father to get pregnant.  And it wasn’t ethical when King Xerxes banished Vashti when she refused to be objectified.

Just because the epistles mention that women must submit their lives to their husbands (1 Peter 3, 1 Corinthians 7:4) does not mean men have the right to rape their wives.

We must thoroughly research scriptures which require a woman to have sex with her husband each night or when she isn’t in the mood.  If anyone is manipulating their spouse or partner into sex, it isn’t consensual.  When webpages exist that are dedicated to making sure women are required to have sex with their husbands each time he wants it (because it’s God’s will), then we have a sex problem, Christianity.  When people are considered bad when they have sex prior to marriage and then bad when they don’t have sex after marriage, then we have a sex problem, Christianity.  When your sex rules don’t include Leviticus 18:19 but absolutely must include Leviticus 18:22, then we have a sex problem Christianity.  When Christian groups have materials that blame women for being molested and raped based on how they are acting or what they are wearing, then we have a sex problem, Christianity.

When we don’t look at the bigger picture with the Duggars’ situation, we have a problem with sex, Christianity.  Josh was 14 when he sexually abused minor females.  And Jim-Bob decides to swiftly and silently sweep the situation under the rug.  But did anyone ask how these women are?  Do any of the statements given mention the pain, shame, and humiliation that the women experienced?  Did anyone ask if Josh was abused at some point?  (Many abusers have been abused in the past.)  Does anyone wonder if Josh has experienced the help he needs so that he’s not putting other people at risk?  This isn’t just about judging or forgiveness.  It’s stopping unhealthy patterns so that the cycle of abuse stops.  It’s making sure that those who have been hurt can find new life.

Undoubtedly, God will forgive Josh – just like God will forgive all of us.  That’s what unconditional grace is about.  But this doesn’t mean that his actions are far from gone in the lives of five females.  This doesn’t mean that they are ready to forgive him.  This isn’t the time for us to rush to forgiveness.  This is time for us to understand what healthy sexuality is, find ways to have conversations so that more 14 year old children don’t feel compelled to abuse their sibling, and stop parents from sweeping the problem under the rug.  This is time for us to extend our hand of grace to these five girls so that they won’t feel the shame that they probably carry in their hearts.

Christianity, let’s look at what sex, consent, and sin mean.  It’s time for us to change the language of appropriate sex from “good” and “bad” to “unhealthy,” “healthy,” and “consensual.”  God’s ready for our conversation.  Are we?

 The current version of this post has been edited from the original.

The End of an Era… And a Beginning: An Affirmation of Call for Don Draper

21 Thursday May 2015

Posted by in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

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AMC/Mad Men

*Warning: This post contains spoilers*

So that’s how it ends… with a smirk and a Coke ad.

Immediately, dedicated fans went to a cynical place… Mad Men‘s Don Draper sold out… He was just in this for the advertising…

I disagree.

I do not believe Don’s resulting peace from the search for his identity wasn’t short lived.  Quite the opposite.  He found peace in being Don Draper.  He found serenity in the slivers of his identity which remained Dick Whitman.  And through his search, he discovered that in his soul, he was Don.

He was an ad man with a creative spirit at his core.

Much like Romans 14:14 “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean…” there is nothing sinful or wrong about advertising in itself.  People like to think that Don returning to his passion meant that he abandoned all spiritual growth.  Rather, I believe Don’s future indicated that ads can be used to send positive energies into the world – not just to objectify people and sell products.  Think about the ads on television.  Which ones bring positive memories?  Which ones would you rather never see again?

I remember the Coke ad portrayed in the final scene from the early years of my childhood.  Even though Coca Cola was trying to sell a product, they wanted to capture something positive at the same time, and spread that positive ethos into the world.  The ad left harmonious feelings within me – probably for the remainder of my life.

In a past life, I was in marketing and public relations.  I wrote press releases, created events that would attract people, and found ways to showcase our brand to the world.  This work was thrilling.  Being able to create and promote brought new challenges, unpredictability and the joy of art.

I still do some of this today.  But now that I’m promoting God instead of products, it’s called evangelism.  Like I said – advertising and promotion can be for good.

We like to think  that some professions are the “good” or “clean” professions and others are “bad” or “unclean.”  (Think about Jesus’ time.  Tax collectors were the ultimate unclean job – besides taking care of pigs.)

Clergy, police, military, doctors and teachers are often considered the “clean” professions while advertising agents, lawyers or a plethora of other professions are “unclean.”  Yet clergy and teachers are found in sexual misconduct.  Occasionally, police and military will abuse their power.  Of course, most people in these professions are noble and kind-hearted.  But a profession should never dictate whether or not someone is a decent person.

Likewise, a profession shouldn’t indicate that someone is cynical or selfish.  Lawyers defend innocent people and stand for noble causes all of the time.  And artistic folks invigorated in the thrill of birthing an idea to build a brand use their creative juices to paint a picture and invoke emotions.

That was Don.  But in the evolution of Don Draper, we see a soul continue to struggle and grow.  Even though this growth happened, it doesn’t mean he must give up advertising.  Instead, he uses advertising as a medium to bring the happiness he now has experienced into the world.

Don’s passion for advertising transcended much in his life.  No matter what his personal life entailed, he still had a knack for the creative.  When he felt his creativity became suffocated (in the antepenultimate episode), Don immediately left the meeting with the Miller rep and a room full of fellow ad men.  The last passion he held onto, creativity in advertising, was drifting away from him, deepening his identity crisis.  He needed to wander.

For three episodes, Don searched for who he was.  Was he Don?  Was he Dick?  Was he an ad man, a fraud, a cheat?  What has he done with his life?  Did he give honor to the real Don Draper?

There is admiration in Don’s journey.  He didn’t abandon the retreat when exposing his fallacies, suffering a panic attack and possibly contemplating suicide.  He continued the tough work that was needed to find his true identity and discover whatever peace he needed to be his best self.   While Don always professed “moving forward,” he had to work through some demons before he could truly move forward with his life.

He finally found peace.  And then he found clarity.  And then his creativity came back – in greater and positive ways.

So what if he went back into advertising?  That’s Don at his best.  Being at his healthiest and happiest, he will only produce quality ads – ones that take us to a place of bliss.

And that’s why we always will want to buy the world a Coke and live in harmony.

 

Just tonight, I discovered this article in which Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner explained the conclusion.  While most of this was written before discovering the article, I am excited to see that my conclusion wasn’t far of from Weiner’s thoughts.

The Kingdom of God Is Like a Glee Club…

20 Friday Mar 2015

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By Glee (Screenshot from a Glee episode.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

The Kingdom of God is like a Glee club where young people of all ethnicities, races, gender identities and expressions, economic levels, religions and perspectives come together to join their voices together in song…

Where the pregnant cheerleader, the rebel misfit, the disabled student, the girl with the stutter, the girl with a larger than life ego, the gay young man and the football player who lacks direction can unite in joy and share their gifts…

…Or so Jesus would say if he was telling a 21st century parable.

Now, I haven’t had much chance to watch Glee in the last couple of seasons.  But this year, I’ve revisited the show a few times and watched some of the last episodes including tonight’s finale.

Back in the fall of 2009, my group of fellow seminarians would get together each Tuesday night during our last year of seminary to watch Glee.  It was our ritual, joining with the diverse Kingdom of God to watch a show about the diverse Kingdom of God.  The weekly Sabbath hour of watching Glee became our time to fellowship together before the eventual parting of ways at the end of the year when we were called to different corners of the world to serve.

Glee was something to which many of us could identify.  Some of us had been bullied as young people.  Others had come out to their friends and family.  I think on some level, most of us felt like outsiders who came together with a common love and sense of call – just like Will Schuester and the Glee club.

In tonight’s finale, Rachel explains that Glee club is “Somewhere safe” and a place where people “learn from each other and be who we are including those who are different than us.  When we look back on our time here, we should be proud of what we did and who we included.”

Sue concluded with the following:

“It takes a lot of bravery to look around you to see the world, not as it is, but as it should be.  A world where the quarterback becomes best friends with the gay kid.  And the girl with the big nose ends up on Broadway. Glee is about imagining a world like that, and finding the courage to open up your heart and sing about it.”

The way Jesus explains the kingdom of God is this idyllic place, a place where all people are respected and given dignity.   All are experiencing the justice and peace that flows from God.  Through Rachel’s and Sue’s words, we are reminded that the ideal kingdom of God is a safe place where we learn from one another and where we appreciate each other’s gifts.  It’s a place where people who are extremely different from one another can join together to share life and build up our neighbors.

The Kingdom of God is like Glee, reflecting all of the similarities and differences between people – and the unity between them – joining together to make a melodic world.

Patricia, Sarah, and the Women with (Some) Privilege – A RevGalBlogPals Post

01 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by in Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Television

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Here’s a post I wrote for RevGalBlogPals section The Pastor Is Political:

The Pastor is Political – Patricia, Sarah, and the Women with (Some) Privilege