• Email Sign Up
  • Following me around the web…
  • Liturgies for the “Be the Church” Series
  • Quarantine/Pandemic Prayers & Liturgies
  • Sermons on Video
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Vocational Prayers
  • Want to know about me?

Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Monthly Archives: November 2015

Advent Day 2 – The Valley of the Mean Girls

30 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Adult Bullies, Adult Bullying, Bullies in the workplace, Bullying, Bullying in families, Bullying in the Church, Mean Girls, Mean Guys

From the Detroit Card Co. – See http://www.detroitcardco.com/shop/art-print-be-kind-even-to-mean-people?category=8×10+Prints

Whew… Middle school and high school are over!  Time to move away from the simple-minded drama that comes with being a teenager and move ahead with the more important issues of life.

Wait a minute… Who’s that?  Is that… A MEAN GIRL?  A MEAN GUY?  Didn’t they set aside their childish ways when they moved on to adulthood?  Didn’t they figure out that childhood antics and vapid drama doesn’t work in adulthood?

Didn’t we think that we could get away from their whispering in corners and selective snubbing once we headed to college and adult life?  Unfortunately, we will each run across people in various parts of life that forgot to leave behind their messy middle school mentality for a more enlightened way of living.  They will use their “mean girl” attitudes to manipulate others.

Even Jesus met his share of “mean guys” before the end of his earthly ministry… None of us are immune to their ways…

In many situations, mean girls and guys can be disregarded as children.  Yet there are times they get in our ways when we are trying to move forward trying to follow the call of God and they stand in our way.  They attempt to derail us from our paths, not because they are trying to accomplish something…

Frankly, I’m not sure why they are mean people.  Maybe they thrive on drama.

But God isn’t calling us to be mean girls and boys and handing back hate to those who drench us in hate.  Instead God is calling us to “set aside our childish ways” and turn their swords into our plowshares.  We are called to assertively work with them as we know that God has given us the wisdom to love our enemies.  As Martin Luther King, Jr. states “returning hate for hate multiplies hate.”  Given the choice between hate and love, I will once again go with Dr. King: “I have chosen to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

A prayer for those facing “mean girls:”

God of our holy tweens and teenage years
of our growing pains and terrifying transitions,
give us the courage to walk in the valley of the shadow of mean girls.
Prepare a table before us even when our enemies refuse to let us sit with them.
May their voices become heard when they whisper stabbing secrets
and may their voices become silent when they scream criticisms.

Give us the strength to extend grace when they extend their hands for help.
And help us to forgive seven, seventy, seven-thousand times
Whether we are seventeen or thirty-seven.

Amen.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Single in the Sanctuary – Taboo Grace

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

David and Bathsheba, God, Grace, progressive Christianity, punishment, sex, single in the sanctuary, STD, synchroblog

Phone Sept 2014 4276Throughout my adult life, I’ve had conversations with some of my unmarried friends about the relationships that they’ve had.

And some of the mistakes they’ve made.

Granted, there are lots of types of mistakes singles and couples make- everything from slight fibs to huge indiscretions about money and parenting and every other subject imaginable. Yet some of the most shame-filled confessions made by non-married people include the physical connections they’ve made with others.

(Yes.  Sex.)

While there is a loud group of Christians who focus primarily on curing the world of sexual sins, most Christians are probably across the board when it comes to how they view sex outside of marriage.  As a member of the clergy, I’m not saying that sex between two unmarried people is right or wrong, but there are times that it can be healthy and unhealthy, and each person must find what’s the most healthy expression for themselves and for those with whom they physically connect.  Unfortunately, in times of desperation, grief, drunk or sadness, people make the some of the most unhealthiest decisions of their lives.

It’s human.  Yet what ends up happening is they relive their mistakes in their heads over and over and over again.

What would it take to let it go?  What would it take to embrace the grace that’s already there?  

But the little voice keeps luring them back into the shame of their prior actions.

There’s a story in the Bible where David manages to seduce Bathsheba who then becomes pregnant from the encounter.  The story ends with God “killing” their infant child as  punishment for whatever happened between the two of them.

Except that it wasn’t God.  It was medicine or the lack thereof rearing its ugly head at a very wrong moment.

So often, people want to associate STDs and unplanned pregnancies as God’s way of punishing humans for sexual relations.  People “deserve” what they get.

That isn’t the case.

No God would punish two people for their roles in an affair or seduction or momentary lapse of judgement.  No God would force someone to live a life sentence of a disease or sentence someone to death for one wrong decision.  God’s grace is pouring upon each and every one of us for any type of unhealthy decision we’ve made.  God’s grace is attempting to erase the shame from our lives and asking us leave it behind us.

Our job as the Church isn’t to judge what people have done or are doing.  Our role is to walk with them in a spirit of grace, giving them opportunities to find new life if they feel called to it.

And helping them let it all go.

*****

This blog post was written as part of both my weekly series “Single in the Sanctuary” and as part of November’s SynchroBlog on “Grace.”  See other blog posts associated with the SynchroBlog theme here:

http://synchrolinklist.blogspot.com/2015/11/november-2015.html

 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

A Grace-Deprived World

05 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

#nablopomo, Derek Shepherd, Dr. Penny Blake, Forgiveness, Grace, Grey's Anatomy, Meredith Grey, mistakes, progressive Christianity, sin

Image from TVFanatic.com

Tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy had two beautiful storylines focusing on major errors and the grace we hold back from those who we expect to be perfect.  The more prominent of the two stories dealt with resident Dr. Penny Blake who made fatal errors errors in Dr. Derek Shepherd’s care.  Derek’s physician wife, Dr. Meredith Grey, is extra-hard on her as this newer doctor tries to be the best she can while living in the cloud of shame and doubt.

A minor storyline in the episode was an unmarried pastor who inadvertently sent an inappropriate video of his girlfriend to everyone in the church.  Needless to say, the saints of the congregation as well as his governing body automatically wanted him fired.  For one mistake.  Of course, with a case like this, it is understandable that the clergy would be reprimanded, but hopefully given the opportunity to redeem themselves through a process of reconciliation.  But the one who preaches forgiveness and dedicates his life to serving others is automatically deemed evil when making an error.

Tonight’s episode is a good reminder that we are a grace-deprived society.

How do we stop depriving others of forgiveness?  First, we each need to say this out loud: we all make mistakes – no exceptions.  Those who deprive others of grace forget that they, too, make errors and thrive on holding grudges and pointing fingers when possible.  The funny thing is that each of those physicians on Grey’s Anatomy holding a grudge had made errors at one point or another in their careers, causing someone to lose their life or an optimal state of well-being.  Yet they were holding this one physician to an unrealistic level.

We’re equal opportunity broken people, and we each deserve equal amounts of grace.

Secondly, without grace, the repentant person living in the shame spiral tends to make more errors.  It happened to Dr. Blake while she tried to prove to Meredith that she was a decent doctor.  At the end of the episode, Meredith says “Our shame can choke us, it can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.”  Yet it’s hard to release the shame when others continuously remind us of our brokenness.

Think about a time in which you’ve made a mistake.  Other people poured the shame upon you instead of mercy.  As you moved forward, was it easy to clear your head of that mistake?  And how well did you do your work as you worked in the self-fulfilling prophecy bubble?  From my experience, I tend to make more mistakes around those who have not forgiven me because I’m trying to impress them even more – to make up for my error.  In my intense focus on making these people happy, I tend to mess up even more.  Shame leads to trying to please others, and there will be some who we will never make happy.  In fact, it’s not our job to make people happy (something of which I must remind myself each and every day).

Third, God has already forgiven us.  We may not have forgiven ourselves for the error.  Others are still holding our mistakes over our heads.  But God is way ahead of the game, wanted us to move forward in healthy and productive ways.

When I see others who profess to be Christians shaming others for their mistakes, I often remember the parable of the unforgiving debtor (Matthew 18).  We tend to adopt this belief that I am allowed to be forgiven, but I don’t have to forgive you.  Yet the brilliant Jesus gave us a parable reminding his followers that if we expect to be given grace by God, we also need to extend that grace to others – not just seven times but seventy-seven times.  If we want God to forgive us, we must also forgive.

Lastly, there people in some positions who we hold to higher standards, including clergy, doctors, police, teachers, etc. Tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a reminder that clergy and doctors are considered next to God.  When we fail – even just ONE mistake – the mistake means more to anyone else.  None of us are perfect.  Yes, there are some in each of these careers who are toxic, biased and careless.  But we are not God.  We will never be perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Watching this episode and through the many conversations I’ve had with people over the course of my life, I see that grace is something that we hoard for ourselves and are not willing to spread to others.  We would rather someone squirm in the pits of shame rather than find the release of mistakes through the salvific act of forgiveness.  We are a grace-deprived society.  Somewhere between God and the repentant person, grace has been captured and held hostage.  What will we do to allow grace to flow freely once again – in our churches, our hospitals, our highways, our schools and every single corner of our world?

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

Single in the Sanctuary – Sick and Single

03 Tuesday Nov 2015

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 4 Comments

sickThis week, I was reminded about how horrible it is to be sick when you’re alone.

Now, I have a great boyfriend and great friends that I could always ask if I was truly, fever-burning, toilet-hugging sick.  But if I can make it to the store, I WILL make it to the store to prove to myself that I am a superwoman when I’m sick.

Asking for help… Nope.  Very rarely it’s an option for me.

I’ve learned how to be alone very well.  I’ve aced being independent.  Frankly, I’m tired of being this fiercely independent when my health is on the line.

There’s nothing more scary than being sick when you’re by yourself.  There have been times when I’ve had to drive myself to the ER with various ailments.  There have been times when I’ve crawled into work with a 101 fever just because the work needed to be done, my job was too important and I needed to make sure I had good standing at work.  There have been times in the early morning hours when I wondered if my heavy-beating, racing heart was a heart attack.  What would happen if I couldn’t get the help I needed?

What if I die alone???  That’s one of those large questions the unmarried person often thinks about.  I continue to reflect: What if no one can help me out as I age or as I grow weaker?  What happens to me?  What if no niece or nephew or cousin or anyone looks out for me when I need to finally enter a long-term care facility?  Or what if I need a surgery and there is no one to help me out as soon as it’s over?

Undoubtedly, God is always with us in these deeply troubling times of pain and illness.  There is no question of God’s presence.  God’s always calling our bodies, minds and souls to wholeness and wants us to receive the best care possible.

Simultaneously, God is calling the church to be the hands and feet of Christ to those who are alone in their illness.  God wants us to make sure that they are being treated well in nursing facilities, and God desires for us to give rides to doctors, sit with someone as they have tests, be present if they need to talk and make sure that someone is available when the sick person needs a helping hand.

As fiercely independent non-married people, let’s open ourselves up to help.  Yes, it’s scary to ask for help because it’s admitting that we can’t always take care of ourselves.  It’s having faith that there will be a friend or family member who will gladly step up to care for us when we no longer tend to our failing bodies.

Prayer
God, in this time of nauseating solitude
And aches that reach beyond the depths of my soul,
Give me the trust and faith I need to believe that you will provide
In all of my scarcities-
Provisions of health,
Provisions of people,
Provisions of energy.
Nudge me in the direction
From total self-reliance
To your interdependent realm.  Amen.

 

 

 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr

Like this:

Like Loading...

CCblogs Network

CCblogs Network

RevGalBlogPals

RevGalBlogPals
Follow Michelle L. Torigian on WordPress.com

Michelle L. Torigian

Michelle L. Torigian

Rev. Michelle Torigian's Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Archives

  • January 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • September 2011
  • December 2010

Blogroll

  • A Southern Pastor's Life in the North
  • Ancient/Future Faith
  • Associated Luke
  • Coffeehouse Contemplative
  • Emily C. Heath
  • For the Someday Book
  • Go and Tell with Grace
  • Katie Steedly
  • Liturgy Geek
  • musings about liturgical adventures, poetic journeys and such
  • One Whole Step
  • Reflections of Ryberg
  • Scattered Graces

Tags

Advent advent prayer Advent prayers anxiety Armenian Genocide Body of Christ careers Childless Childlessness Christ Christianity Christmas Church Communion Communion Liturgy Coronavirus COVID-19 death depression divorce domestic violence Easter Endometriosis Epiphany Feminism God Grace Grey's Anatomy grief grief prayers Healing Holy Week Hope Infertility Jesus Justice Lent Lenten Prayers LGBT Life Liturgy loss of loved one loss of parent Love Mental health Mother's Day motherhood mourning National Day Prayers pain Prayer Prayers progressive Christian progressive Christianity Progressive Christianty Quarantine racism rape Resurrection sexism sexual assault Single Singlehood single in the sanctuary Social Justice Surgery Syrophoenician woman Thanksgiving UCC United Church of Christ Vashti vocational prayers vocations widows worship

Categories

  • Advent prayers
  • Be the Church
  • Church Life
  • Communion Liturgy
  • COVID Prayers
  • Current Events
  • Epiphany Liturgy/Prayers
  • grief
  • Health
  • Holidays
  • Lent Prayers
  • Life
  • Liturgy
  • Movies
  • Music
  • National Day Prayers
  • Poetry
  • Pop
  • Pop Culture
  • Prayers
  • Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers
  • Religion
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Social Justice
  • Social Media
  • Sports
  • Television
  • UCC Statement of Faith
  • Vocation Prayers
  • Wordpress Blogger University

RSS Michelle L. Torigian

  • A Prayer of Gratitude for Nostalgia
  • A Mid-Winter’s Prayer
  • A Blessing on the Last Days of Christmas
  • A Prayer When Delighting in Hope
  • A Prayer of Gratitude
  • Wednesday Prayer – Searching for Gratitude
  • All Souls Day Prayer
  • A Prayer in the Face of Manipulation
  • A National “Stop Bullying Day” Prayer
  • Wednesday Prayer: A Prayer for Energy

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 309 other subscribers

Pages

  • Email Sign Up
  • Following me around the web…
  • Liturgies for the “Be the Church” Series
  • Quarantine/Pandemic Prayers & Liturgies
  • Sermons on Video
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Vocational Prayers
  • Want to know about me?

Blogroll

  • A Southern Pastor's Life in the North
  • Ancient/Future Faith
  • Associated Luke
  • Coffeehouse Contemplative
  • Emily C. Heath
  • For the Someday Book
  • Go and Tell with Grace
  • Katie Steedly
  • Liturgy Geek
  • musings about liturgical adventures, poetic journeys and such
  • One Whole Step
  • Reflections of Ryberg
  • Scattered Graces

Archives

  • January 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • September 2011
  • December 2010

Tags

Advent advent prayer Advent prayers anxiety Armenian Genocide Body of Christ careers Childless Childlessness Christ Christianity Christmas Church Communion Communion Liturgy Coronavirus COVID-19 death depression divorce domestic violence Easter Endometriosis Epiphany Feminism God Grace Grey's Anatomy grief grief prayers Healing Holy Week Hope Infertility Jesus Justice Lent Lenten Prayers LGBT Life Liturgy loss of loved one loss of parent Love Mental health Mother's Day motherhood mourning National Day Prayers pain Prayer Prayers progressive Christian progressive Christianity Progressive Christianty Quarantine racism rape Resurrection sexism sexual assault Single Singlehood single in the sanctuary Social Justice Surgery Syrophoenician woman Thanksgiving UCC United Church of Christ Vashti vocational prayers vocations widows worship
November 2015
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930  
« Oct   Dec »

Category Cloud

Advent prayers Be the Church Church Life Communion Liturgy COVID Prayers Current Events Epiphany Liturgy/Prayers grief Health Holidays Lent Prayers Life Liturgy Movies Music National Day Prayers Poetry Pop Pop Culture Prayers Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers Religion Single in the Sanctuary Social Justice Social Media Sports Television UCC Statement of Faith Vocation Prayers Wordpress Blogger University

Recent Posts

  • A Prayer of Gratitude for Nostalgia
  • A Mid-Winter’s Prayer
  • A Blessing on the Last Days of Christmas
  • A Prayer When Delighting in Hope
  • A Prayer of Gratitude

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Michelle L. Torigian
    • Join 309 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Michelle L. Torigian
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: