Tag Archives: Lot’s Daughters

Women’s Agency and Autonomy on Trial

20 Thursday Sep 2018

Posted by in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture

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supreme-court-546279_1920

Shrugging off has been our mode of coping.  Most of us women have shrugged sexual assault or harassment as it was happening – either because we hadn’t wrapped our minds around what happened or we know we wouldn’t be believed.

And we, ourselves, do not want to go on trial when we did nothing wrong.

It’s exhausting to live in a word in which we have to be hyper-vigilant while also knowing that even in our vigilance we may still be taken advantage of.  Even when we work to ensure our own safety and assault occurs, we know we will transformed from victim/survivor to evil voice.  We will become the demon, the Eve, the Jezebel, the Gomer – all wrapped into one – when coming forth about the incident.

Living eighteen years after the turn of the millennium and nearly 100 years after women began to get the right to vote (although not all women), we still fall short of what it means to be fully human.

There’s a message we hear from our leaders and institutions:

We don’t care about your bodies.  We don’t care about your health.  We don’t care about your livelihood.  In many ways like people of color or immigrants or LGBTQ people, you matter less.

We don’t want you to make decisions about your bodies.  We want to make them.  We want to use them when it is convenient for us.  We want to control them to ensure that a traditional patriarchal system continues.  We want to dispose of them when they no longer suit us or if they don’t fit our ideal standard for what a woman should be.

This is how it feels.

And when I read the story of Lot offering his daughters to be raped just to keep the men whole and holy, it makes me sick.  It’s not just a story that was told centuries before the birth of Jesus.  It’s also a story in which many people believe is the inspired Word of God.

So God would rather women be raped than men?  Why do either need to be raped?  Why are we not bettering our systems to hold rapists accountable?

Which brings us to this standing theology: Men’s bodies are holy.  Womens bodies are sinful and unclean.  Men are to be believed.  Women should endure pain because they aren’t as fully human as men, right?

(As someone who endures chronic pain due to reproductive health issues, I’ve felt dismissed by doctors on more than one occasion – even female doctors.  I’ve seen the health of my friends dismissed as I’ve notice the maternal mortality rate hanging too high for a developed nation.)

Between this story of alleged rape, the story that Kavanaugh wanted female clerks with a “certain” look, and his record on women’s reproductive health care rights, I see the larger picture of Kavanaugh and how he values – or doesn’t – women’s autonomy and agency.

And I know – he hired many women to serve as his clerks.  But the way a Generation X man devalues a woman will be different than a man who is a Boomer or from an earlier generation.  The way that one man devalues a woman is different than man from another generation or a man from his own generation.  He may hire a woman because he knows that women provide intellectual services yet may still believe that a woman still holds less autonomy and agency in other areas of her existence.  A man can appreciate a woman’s mind while still objectifying a woman’s body.

So I stand against any nominee for the SCOTUS or anyone leader in our Executive or Legislative Branch who carries on this ethos of male supremacy.  I stand against a system that doesn’t question what he’s done or the choices he has made.  Shouldn’t we have learned something from the time that Clarence Thomas was accused?  It’s been well over 25 years; shouldn’t we be farther along in the process of full autonomy and dignity for all women?  Shouldn’t we choose presidents who don’t take advantage of subordinates or assault women or pay women or brag about what they can do to women without their full consent?  There are men in both parties who have devalued women.  Why do they still have power?

We are women.  We deserve to walk at night or go to parties or hang out in social clubs or anything else without having to worry about being raped.  We deserve to go to work without being harassed.  We deserve to go to doctors and be believed because we know something isn’t right with our bodies.  We are not disposable, and we are fully human.

When will the powers-that-be in America and across the world believe us?

Or will we humans still be having this conversation in three thousand years – just like the story of Lot’s daughters?

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford – I believe you.  You are a beloved child of God.  You are made in the Image of God.  No one can take that from you – no matter how hard they try in these next few days.  And we have your back.

Using the Bible to Strengthen Women on International Women’s Day

08 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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“Beloved Disciple” in the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene; by El Greco ca. 1580

Many in our society and world use the Bible to tear down women, ensure women have certain roles and use women’s bodies as they please.

They refer to the story of Adam and Eve when noting that women were responsible for the downfall of humans.

They use Eve’s missteps as a way of saying that women should be in pain during her pregnancy or any reproductive issue.

They overlook the part of the story when Lot offers his daughters as sexual goods, and they believe that women’s bodies are not our own.

They look at the story of Jacob and his two wives, or Abraham with his wife and concubine, and they think it’s okay for women to fight over men and for women to make each other jealous.

They take the story of Jephthah’s daughter as a story of obedience instead of a story of child abuse.

They look at David’s sin as having an affair with Bathsheba instead of ogling her and using his power to seduce her. 

They use Proverbs 31 as a way to keep a woman as a subservient type of wife and mother.

They take Hosea’s account of God using “whore” for a woman as permission to call women whatever names they want.

They say that since only men were Jesus’ disciples, only men can be true leaders in faith.

They use 1 Timothy 2 to keep women quiet in faith, giving all power in churches to men.

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m tired of this.  I’m exhausted from having to hear that women deserve pain because of a stories written thousands of years ago.  I’m tired of hearing women called slut, whore and other horrifying words in an attempt to control or demean them.  I’m disgusted at television shows where women fight over a man or continuously bicker with each other.  I do not want to feel less than human or a woman because I don’t have children or I’m not married, and I don’t want to be told that I’m sinful because I’m a female leader in faith.

Instead, let’s join together to use Scripture to strengthen women and stand for their rights.

Let’s remember that Paul recognized Phoebe and Lydia as women leaders in the church every time Christians use 1 Timothy to quiet women.

Let’s take the story of Mary Magdalene rushing out of the garden after the resurrection as a woman being the first one called to share the good news.

Let’s take the story of Proverbs 31 woman as an empowered women who is full of wisdom, takes care of her family and stands for justice in her community.

Let’s take the story of Vashti not as a disobedient wife but as a women who stood up to the patriarchy and her body being used by powerful men.

Let’s take the story of the Syrophoenician woman as one who stood up to Jesus to make sure her family had their needs met.

Let’s take the stories of the woman with the hemorrhage and Judah’s daughter-in-law Tamar as ones where women stand up for their reproductive health and rights.

Let’s take the story of Zelophehad’s daughters as one who stand for their financial rights.

Christianity does not have to be a religion that reduces women but can be one that strengthens the lives of women all over the world.  Let’s remember the verses and narratives that empower us as we bring liberating words of hope to women, finding ways to strengthen their body, mind, soul and voice.

Not Only in Steubenville

18 Monday Mar 2013

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There may be triggers with this post.

And it may be NSFW.  But so is the Bible in certain places.

Let me tell you a story.  No names will be used to protect all involved.

One weekend night in college, my friends came back from a night at a bar.  Most of them were pretty intoxicated and very sick from their evening libations.  A couple of them were unconscious.  They thought they had alcohol poisoning.  Looking back on the situation, I wonder if there were other substances that had been slipped into their drinks by someone at the bar… but that’s secondary to this story.

A number of people were in one dorm room.  I saw all of this occur from the doorway as many of my closest friends were in the room.  The person who lived in that dorm room, Mr. Snake, decided to kick everyone out of the dorm room except Ms. Deer who was passed out on his bed.  Two of my male friends refused to leave the room.  One jumped on Mr. Snake’s back.  The other, Mr. Rhino, headbutted Mr. Snake, in order to protect his friend Ms. Deer.

Guess who got in trouble from this?  Mr. Rhino, of course.

It doesn’t matter if Mr. Rhino was standing up for Ms. Deer trying to protect her from any abuse or violation  (and thank God she wasn’t raped or abused).  What mattered to the powers that be is that Mr. Rhino be held accountable for what he did to Mr. Snake even when his actions were needed.

I was friends with men who stood up for the protection of women, but when they were trying to be faithful allies to women, they were the ones who got in trouble.

The ones who wanted to take advantage of women never got reprimanded by the powers that be.

Too many people I know have endured sexual assault in many various forms.  There are men who cared about these women and tried to protect them.  But there were still men who felt they had the right to use these women’s bodies as they wanted.

I’d love say that any decent human being should know not to rape someone when they are passed out or in any other vulnerable position.  Isn’t this a “duh” situation: don’t hurt someone who is more vulnerable than you.

But I guess some people need to feel powerful.  And abuse is how they attain that power.

The conversation we should be having in the 21st century must include how we associate power with sex, and that conversation must include how the Bible portrays rape.

The Bible, especially the Old Testament, does not do the greatest job defending people against rape.  Sure if a man is to rape a man, then that’s an incredible sin.  People associate the sin of Sodom being sex between men, but the Sodom citizens really wanted power over the visitors.

Lot offers his daughters in return.  So, back during the time when this text was written, it was apparently more acceptable to offer women and their bodies.  Fortunately for the girls, the Sodomites didn’t want Lots daughters.

Yet even Lot’s daughters took advantage of their father while he was drunk.  (This can go both ways.  While women being attacked by men is more common, we can’t forget that men can be assaulted as well.)

A similar story to Lot offering the rape of his daughters is found in Judges 19.  When the men in a town called Gibeah demand to rape a male visitor to the town, his host offers to give the men his virgin daughter and the guest’s concubine.  As the host says to the rowdy men “Ravish them and do whatever you want to them; but against this man do not do such a vile thing.”  The men of Gibeah take the concubine and assault her all night.  They throw her dead body in front of the guest’s door.

Did women have so much less value than men that they deserved to have their bodies raped until they were dead?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 does not condemn a man from raping an unmarried woman.  He must buy her as a wife from her father.

(And sometimes I wonder how I’m still a Christian with texts such as these.)

And then I continue to read… The book Song of Solomon shows a more egalitarian and loving relationship between two people.  Seeing 1 Corinthians 13, I am reminded what real love is about: not taking advantage of another.  Jesus was never a “power over” person but rather “power with” those around him.

Why do we continue to allow a rape culture, and does Scripture perpetrate that culture?  If it looks alright in the Bible, which was written in a completely different context, are we implicitly allowing it in our current culture?

Which leads us to Steubenville.  People turned their heads and laughed as a young, unconscious drunk girl was sexually assaulted.  Why were there no people like my friend Mr. Rhino?  Where were the men and women who could have called the police?  Why do the powers that be cover up and glorify certain men (especially ones who shine in sports)?

And in how many other high schools and colleges are situations like these happening?  It’s time to talk, and it’s time to put Scripture stories of rape in their proper place.