Tag Archives: Grey’s Anatomy

Zeitgeist and the Church: The Lessons Learned from the “Blow-Off” Class I Took in College

05 Saturday Dec 2020

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I took one class in college that one may classify as a “blow-off” class: Television and Society.

Now, my intentions for taking it were not because it appeared easy. Along with my two concentrations of public relations and professional writing under my degree in English, I was hoping that the stars would align, the classes would be available, and I could fulfill the requirements for a minor in Communications. (I was one class shy.) This class was an elective for the minor. (Admittedly, taking a class such as this helped out when I had to leave school for a week when my grandmother was dying. But that’s another story for another time.)

In any case, this class featured television from various eras and styles, taking account the time period in which the show was featured. As we looked back on the 1950’s, television was drastically different than in the 1990’s.

And today, over 25 years after taking the class, television is drastically different.

No longer do we need to catch a television show when it airs or set our VCRs to catch the show. Now, everything is On Demand. If my DVR doesn’t record a program, it will be on Hulu the next day. Furthermore, this gives the viewer the opportunity to binge watch television shows – from just one episode to a whole season in one night.

Needing to stay inside this year has given people the opportunity to watch shows at their own convenience, enjoying an evening’s worth of programming based upon the time and audience. I’ve had the chance to watch shows that had just fully completed their run (Schitt’s Creek) and new seasons of other programs (The Crown and others).

Not only has our style of watching shows changed, but the content itself. Just recently, I read an NPR article on why Grey’s Anatomy decided to include the Covid-19 pandemic into the show.

One of the medical consultants, Dr. Nasar Alazari said this:

“We were kind of, like, returning into this fog. It was thick fog. We did not know what’s happening. I felt like definitely we have to say that, like, you know – tell stories about this because this disease is our zeitgeist.”

“The disease is our zeitgeist” is a very important point every industry and corner of our society needs to embrace. We will never be the same because of this time. Television needs to reflect it.

And so does the church.

Television and Society class taught me that as times change, the content of television and our viewing habits change. This year has taught me that as times change, the content of church and our participation habits change. I would say that this is another “Video Killed the Radio Star” moment; nothing stays the same, and we are called to adapt.

Covid-19 is our zeitgeist, which the Oxford Languages defines zeitgeist as “the defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time.” Just as WWII was the major backdrop of the early 1940’s, this virus is the backdrop for 2020. The tension of the Babylonian Exile was a major zeitgeist of the writings in the Hebrew Bible. We can’t escape this backdrop.

Of course, this means content of services, including sermons, reflect this tension in a way that is real but hopeful. It’s a part of our landscape. A medical show can’t escape storylines on the virus because it’s a major part of medicine now. Likewise, we can’t disregard this because it’s part of who we are now.

Furthermore, the structure of faith communities have changed forever. Do people need to watch church at 9:30am on Sunday mornings? No. Church is becoming On Demand. We can watch it whenever it is convenient. I now think this will be a permanent part of church life. What we must do is pair that with the commitment to stay connected with our congregants. To our faith community, the work of connecting to people has transformed, and I think this level of working to connect has changed the way we do church. This has brought us closer together at a time when we feel physically distant.

Like with television, this time has permanently changed all of us – and every corner of society. The Church is permanently changed. And that one sort of “blow off” class I took in 1994 helped me see that whatever the zeitgeist, we will keep surviving and keep adapting.

The Dead Dads Club

16 Saturday Jun 2018

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Years ago, I came across a scene of Grey’s Anatomy in which Dr. George O’Malley had just lost his father. He was standing outside of the hospital when Dr. Cristina Yang approaches him. The two engage in the following conversation:

CRISTINA: “There’s a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can’t be in it until you’re in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss… My dad died when I was nine. George, I’m really sorry you had to join the club.”
GEORGE: “I… I don’t know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn’t.”
CRISTINA: “Yeah, that never really changes.”

This scene rapidly came to mind on September 18, 2017. Early that morning, I became part of the Dead Dads Club. In a fog of exhaustion, I was thrown into a fraternity of humans wandering in grief.

It’s a permanent club with new members joining us every day. Since my induction, I’ve noticed more friends joining the club. Some joined after their dads perished following a long illness. Others were whisked into the club after a shocking death. I wish I could close the door on their membership. I wish I could delay their painful initiation. And yet, they joined us in the mournful ranks.

This year, many of us are enduring our first Fathers’ Day in this club. We scurry past the Fathers’ Day cards at the store. We try to forget what this Sunday is. We may be grateful that we don’t have to go to places like church where Father’s Day is all over the place. We hope we can make it ten minutes at a time throughout the day, knowing it will be a full year before the next one.

Ugh. Just ugh. I hate all of this.

Like George O’Malley said, I don’t know how to exist in a world where my dad isn’t. I still feel like he’s just in the other room when I talk to my mom. I still feel like I’ll catch up with him a little later. I still want to call him when I hear something happening on the news or when I remember something I learned in his Civics class.

But he’s no longer here. And I have to live with this for the remainder of my life here on earth. Part of my brain just can’t grasp this. I don’t think I ever will fully wrap my mind around the world without my father.

So here I am with my fellow “club” members. We all don’t want to be a part of this club. But we are glad that we don’t have to journey alone – not that we want others to have to go through this pain. If we all have to face the pain, at least we can be there for one another. I give thanks for the friends who reached out this week who happen to be enduring similar pain. I give thanks for the friends who sat and waited at the funeral home – just in case I needed them at any point. They are my cohort, and with them we will make it.

So for the day or whenever I need, I rely on God’s mercy and grace to allow what tears may need to fall. I give myself permission to reach out to others in this dreadful club. Because through God and neighbor, we may find some peace along the way.

A Grace-Deprived World

05 Thursday Nov 2015

Posted by in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

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Image from TVFanatic.com

Tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy had two beautiful storylines focusing on major errors and the grace we hold back from those who we expect to be perfect.  The more prominent of the two stories dealt with resident Dr. Penny Blake who made fatal errors errors in Dr. Derek Shepherd’s care.  Derek’s physician wife, Dr. Meredith Grey, is extra-hard on her as this newer doctor tries to be the best she can while living in the cloud of shame and doubt.

A minor storyline in the episode was an unmarried pastor who inadvertently sent an inappropriate video of his girlfriend to everyone in the church.  Needless to say, the saints of the congregation as well as his governing body automatically wanted him fired.  For one mistake.  Of course, with a case like this, it is understandable that the clergy would be reprimanded, but hopefully given the opportunity to redeem themselves through a process of reconciliation.  But the one who preaches forgiveness and dedicates his life to serving others is automatically deemed evil when making an error.

Tonight’s episode is a good reminder that we are a grace-deprived society.

How do we stop depriving others of forgiveness?  First, we each need to say this out loud: we all make mistakes – no exceptions.  Those who deprive others of grace forget that they, too, make errors and thrive on holding grudges and pointing fingers when possible.  The funny thing is that each of those physicians on Grey’s Anatomy holding a grudge had made errors at one point or another in their careers, causing someone to lose their life or an optimal state of well-being.  Yet they were holding this one physician to an unrealistic level.

We’re equal opportunity broken people, and we each deserve equal amounts of grace.

Secondly, without grace, the repentant person living in the shame spiral tends to make more errors.  It happened to Dr. Blake while she tried to prove to Meredith that she was a decent doctor.  At the end of the episode, Meredith says “Our shame can choke us, it can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.”  Yet it’s hard to release the shame when others continuously remind us of our brokenness.

Think about a time in which you’ve made a mistake.  Other people poured the shame upon you instead of mercy.  As you moved forward, was it easy to clear your head of that mistake?  And how well did you do your work as you worked in the self-fulfilling prophecy bubble?  From my experience, I tend to make more mistakes around those who have not forgiven me because I’m trying to impress them even more – to make up for my error.  In my intense focus on making these people happy, I tend to mess up even more.  Shame leads to trying to please others, and there will be some who we will never make happy.  In fact, it’s not our job to make people happy (something of which I must remind myself each and every day).

Third, God has already forgiven us.  We may not have forgiven ourselves for the error.  Others are still holding our mistakes over our heads.  But God is way ahead of the game, wanted us to move forward in healthy and productive ways.

When I see others who profess to be Christians shaming others for their mistakes, I often remember the parable of the unforgiving debtor (Matthew 18).  We tend to adopt this belief that I am allowed to be forgiven, but I don’t have to forgive you.  Yet the brilliant Jesus gave us a parable reminding his followers that if we expect to be given grace by God, we also need to extend that grace to others – not just seven times but seventy-seven times.  If we want God to forgive us, we must also forgive.

Lastly, there people in some positions who we hold to higher standards, including clergy, doctors, police, teachers, etc. Tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a reminder that clergy and doctors are considered next to God.  When we fail – even just ONE mistake – the mistake means more to anyone else.  None of us are perfect.  Yes, there are some in each of these careers who are toxic, biased and careless.  But we are not God.  We will never be perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Watching this episode and through the many conversations I’ve had with people over the course of my life, I see that grace is something that we hoard for ourselves and are not willing to spread to others.  We would rather someone squirm in the pits of shame rather than find the release of mistakes through the salvific act of forgiveness.  We are a grace-deprived society.  Somewhere between God and the repentant person, grace has been captured and held hostage.  What will we do to allow grace to flow freely once again – in our churches, our hospitals, our highways, our schools and every single corner of our world?

It “Sucks”… Authentic Expression of Pain

22 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

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Yes, to some of you, the word “sucks” is edgy.  Some will find this word and even this post offensive.  I hope others find grace in the way they express themselves.  My intention is not to offend but to help people find words for their pain.

On Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy, a school teacher was dealing with her ill health.  This was a teacher whose students very much viewed her in high regard and missed her when she wasn’t in class.  She would correct her students when using certain terms, like “sucks.”   But when her students left the room, it was her time to process the terminal cancer diagnosis.  In verbalizing her pain and health challenges, she couldn’t help but use a certain word: “We don’t say ‘sucks.’  But this sucks.”

Growing up, my dad always hated the use of the word “sucks.”  So it wasn’t a term we used very often.  Somewhere in the back of my head, I still think of the word as derogatory language.

But I wonder if limiting ourselves of the words we use to express our deepest pain is doing us an injustice, especially if we use them in safe spaces.  Maybe authentically expressing our grief or pain is what we need to continue moving forward or to process our grief.  Maybe this includes using terms like “this sucks” because, frankly, nothing is closer to the truth when we hurt.

When someone hits a rough point of their lives, I sometimes have nothing else I want to say except “it sucks.”  To me, there are few words that can really embrace a low moment in our lives.

I get sad when people try to edit themselves around me because they know I’m a pastor.  Instead of being authentic and expressing their emotion in real ways, they avoid using curse words or talking about edgy parts of their lives.  What if you knew that your pastor would be fine with whatever words you need to use?  Would you be more open to expressing yourself?  How would this help you move forward in your life?

Lamenting is real.  Pain is real.  What do you want to say when you hurt horribly?

When a member of your family dies or your pet has to be put to sleep, it sucks.

When you lose a job, it sucks.

When you are diagnosed with a serious illness, it sucks.

When you have lost a relationship, it sucks.

I would rather hear someone try to comfort another person with “it sucks” because saying things like “it happens for a reason” or “God has a plan” doesn’t really affirm a person’s pain.  It’s just very unorthodox for a pastor or Christians to use curse words or edgy terms to affirm one’s grief.  But shouldn’t we be real about how we feel?  And shouldn’t I sit with you in that pain and affirm your difficulties in life?

Some may think this is taking the Lord’s name in vain, but I’m not using words that attack another human or speaking horrific words on behalf of God.  I’m trying to take the pain we see in Psalm 22:1 or Psalm 88 and give it 21st century words.

And, with me, it’s always a safe space to use the words that describe the pain in your hearts.

Are you challenged by this language?  Do you agree with these words?  Voice your thoughts below.

Healing Pain

19 Saturday Jan 2013

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I’m sore.

This past Tuesday, I had my second laparoscopy for Endometriosis.  Because it had been nine years since my last laparoscopy, I don’t remember all of my post-operative pains that resulted from the first procedure.  Yet, I knew I was going to experience some soreness.

As much discomfort as I have experienced in the past few days, I must admit that I have had pain much, much worse.  In the past six months, my pain level has reached a ten.  The discomfort I’ve experienced in the past few days since my surgery does not compare to the days and nights of debilitating cramps.

Yet there is still pain, and my body is still healing.

But I can no longer classify my aches as a destructive pain.  Since this surgery, the discomfort I’m experiencing is a healing pain.

My post-operative pains remind me of this scene from Grey’s Anatomy.  When we surface from a surgical procedure that saves our life or our quality of life, we are no longer (or less) captive to the agony that tore our lives apart.  We have been released from the bondage of misery and are now crossing the threshold to a new phase of living.

Healing pains apply to emotional and spiritual injuries as well.  When I was in Clinical Pastoral Education in 2008, we were given the illustration that spiritual/emotional healing is like a wound healing on our body.  Injuries can heal incorrectly.  But if we want to truly heal the wound, we must clean out the sore.  If a bone is healing incorrectly, the bone must be broken once again and then reset.  How much pain does that cause?  How do we try to avoid that extra pain when we are in the healing process?

Healing means we must face pain directly.  It’s pouring alcohol in an open wound.  It’s having surgery to avoid destructive pain.  It’s going to therapy and talking through our issues.

And it’s knowing that God is in the wound with us – – whether we are healing or the sore is new.

I do hurt, but I won’t suffer forever.  I know my current pain is part of the journey to healing and wholeness.

Surgery beyond television dramas

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by in Life, Television

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I’ve watched every episode of Grey’s Anatomy multiple times.  And many episodes of ER.  And a few episodes of St. Elsewhere.  I love medicine, and visiting hospitals absolutely does not gross me out.

That being said, facing surgery tomorrow is freaking me out.

I have endometriosis, a condition of migrating tissue.  Through laparoscopic surgery, I am able to get some relief from the pain and discomforts of my condition.

I had this surgery in December 2003.  With the exception of a little reaction to the anesthesia, I recovered fairly well and the results of the surgery delayed further growth.  I am fortunate that I’ve gone nine years without another surgery.

However, during the past six months, I’ve experienced horrific pain and other abdominal health issues.  My fatigue has been worse.  My life has been limited by my condition, and I want to live fully again.

So often, I visit people in hospitals immediately before their surgeries and in the days following.  As I’ve had to go under the knife, I remember the fear that people face when they, too, must have surgery.

Now it’ s my turn.

I don’t believe God is making me endure this surgery – – either because I’ve done something bad or because I need to learn a lesson somehow.  Instead, God goes with me into the surgery.  God sits with me as I freak out on my couch tonight.  God stands next to the operating table, stands with the doctors and nurses, gives wisdom to the anesthesiologist and gives peace to my parents in the waiting room.  God is in all of these places bringing strength and peace.

So I value your prayers, my friends.  If you are not a praying person, I value any thoughts, energy and love you send my way.  To me, all of these things sends a peaceful and healing energy into my life.  I am blessed to know that the people in my church, my clergy friends from around the country and my endosisters (women with endometriosis) all over the world are thinking about me.  Because of this energy and God’s constant presence, I know that I’m not alone.

Loving God,
Thank you for your gift of medicine,
Your doctors and nurses,
For family and friends who care.
Guide the hands of medical professionals,
Bring wisdom to their minds.

I pray for all others having surgery tomorrow and this month.
I pray for all caregivers,
And I pray for those who struggle with the same medical condition I have.
In the healing name of Jesus the Christ I pray, Amen.

Hoping With…

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

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Adapted from original posting on here 12/30/10.  Inspired by Grey’s Anatomy, season 3, episode 12

Hoping is a communal action.

Dr. Preston Burke says it best in a season 3 episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  George O’Malley’s father was diagnosed with advanced cancer.  We no longer see “George the doctor” but “George the patient’s son.”

As his father’s body experiences organ failure, George turns to Burke, the cardio surgeon, to discuss father’s health.  Preston alludes that George’s father probably won’t be coming back from this.  Preston tells George that what he can do is “hope with you.”

Hoping with… what a unique way to show solidarity with those in pain and those grieving. Usually, hope is something that I will do for me and you will do for you.  Hoping seems like a very private and internal journey.  But what if the journey of hope is intended to be something we do with others?  When our hope seems dwindling, what if someone comes along side of us and keeps the hope going?

Hoping with someone has its risks.  Maybe it means that we risk our emotions in hoping.  We sit in the depths of the ditch with our neighbor, and our heart is with them in that ditch.  As their hope becomes our hope, we, too, risk having hope pass us by.

If we identify with the Christian faith, we are undoubtedly in the hope business.  We are in the tomb with Christ, hoping for resurrection.  We are with the women at the tomb, hoping for a better day.

Hope isn’t just for Easter.  At Christmas, hope comes as we wait for the birth of someone who embodied God’s love.  Hope comes as we know night will not last forever, and longer days are ahead.

For what are you hoping?  How can I hope with you?

What bubbles up…

12 Monday Nov 2012

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Grey’s Anatomy – Episode “Beautiful Doom”

“What bubbles up?”  That’s what our pastoral care teacher would ask us when diving into a case study.  It was expected that we would experience some rogue feeling from our past while ministering in the present.

So when watching Meredith Grey on last week’s Grey’s Anatomy, all I kept wanting to say to her was “Something’s bubbling up Meredith… Ok, Meredith, step away from the patient… Meredith, your sister’s death is clouding your mind… Meredith, should you really be in the OR?”

In the season finale last May, Meredith’s sister, Lexie, succumbed to her fatal injuries from a plane crash.  Since the episode, it seemed as though Meredith continued to delay her grief.  Feelings had been pushed further and further down into her soul.  Her residual anger that seeped out of her mouth was aimed at the new interns.

This week, Meredith’s feelings finally bubbled to the surface when she tended to a young girl pinned under a car.  Her mind raced back to her sister.  She denied her feelings to Dr. Weber and continued treating the young woman.  Yet, Meredith’s judgment was teetering on the brink of dangerous.  Fortunately for Meredith, she was able to stay away from the cliff of murky judgment and save the life of the young woman.

Ah.  Fiction.  If only we could keep our past feelings under lock and key when it is convenient.

You see, for the rest of us, we aren’t always as lucky.  Any time we listen to someone speak of a similar traumatic experience, feelings of our terrifying past has the potential to “bubble up” and cloud our thoughts.  Decisions we make and advice we give can be based out of our fears and anxieties rather than lucid thought.  Our friends, families, strangers, etc. may take our advice based on our flawed judgments.

It’s in my firm belief that God understands that feelings bubble up during our new experiences.  As God is in our previous pain with us, God is calling us to new ways of healing.  This could be counseling/therapy to understand why feelings continuously “bubble up.”  God is opening our eyes to the triggers that cause us to revert to yesterday’s feelings.  And God is call us to differentiate between our past pains and our present experiences.

We shouldn’t be afraid to ask ourselves “what bubbles up for me?”  By doing so, others may avoid our faulty advice, and we may understand ourselves and transform in ways we never believed we could.

Hoping With…

30 Thursday Dec 2010

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Adapted from original posting on here 12/30/10.  Inspired by Grey’s Anatomy, season 3, episode 12

Hoping is a communal action.

Dr. Preston Burke says it best in a season 3 episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  George O’Malley’s father was diagnosed with advanced cancer.  We no longer see “George the doctor” but “George the patient’s son.”

As his father’s body experiences organ failure, George turns to Burke, the cardio surgeon, to discuss father’s health.  Preston alludes that George’s father probably won’t be coming back from this.  Preston tells George that what he can do is “hope with you.”

Hoping with… what a unique way to show solidarity with those in pain and those grieving. Usually, hope is something that I will do for me and you will do for you.  Hoping seems like a very private and internal journey.  But what if the journey of hope is intended to be something we do with others?  When our hope seems dwindling, what if someone comes along side of us and keeps the hope going?

Hoping with someone has its risks.  Maybe it means that we risk our emotions in hoping.  We sit in the depths of the ditch with our neighbor, and our heart is with them in that ditch.  As their hope becomes our hope, we, too, risk having hope pass us by.

If we identify with the Christian faith, we are undoubtedly in the hope business.  We are in the tomb with Christ, hoping for resurrection.  We are with the women at the tomb, hoping for a better day.

Hope isn’t just for Easter.  At Christmas, hope comes as we wait for the birth of someone who embodied God’s love.  Hope comes as we know night will not last forever, and longer days are ahead.

For what are you hoping?  How can I hope with you?