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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: LGBT

My Ethos

19 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Social Justice

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ethos, Immigration, Justice, justice for women, LGBT, lgbt justice, Michelle Torigian, personal beliefs, racial justice, Social Justice, theology

ancient-architecture-art-784668 (2)

There will be some changes I’ll be announcing on here in the near future, but for the time being, I thought I would post something about who I am at my spiritual core:

I believe in the full humanity and dignity of all people – no matter their race, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, immigration status and country of origin, marital status, and ability.  And I believe that in each of those defining characteristics there are people who are privileged and people who aren’t.  To me, Jesus would have stood up for and next to the people who were not the privileged ones and challenged the privileged to see their place in the systems of oppression.  

All of us are children of God and made in the image of God.  And we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. 

So if you see me post an article or write a blog post or preach a sermon and you may not agree with my perspective, please know that I’m approaching the subject from the perspective that I want all people to understand that all people are equally made in the image of God.  I will stand up against unjust systems by writing or attending rallies.  From pulpits, however, I will not preach partisan politics.  Instead, I will approach current day happenings through the lens of the gospels and the prophets.  And in this day and age, that may seem more political than it should.  For many of us, this is how we feel we are faithful to God.

Love is sounding more radical by the day…

It won’t be easy, and I encourage you to call me or visit with me to try and understand why I have approached the topic as I have.  But I hope that we will grow through the process of conversation.

May we all be blessed as we muddle through these sacred conversations on love, justice and peace.  Amen.

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Single in the Sanctuary – The Many Stories

14 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

cis-gender, cisgender, divorce, domestic violence, intersectionality, Jewish, LGBT, Muslim, night club, Orlando, privilege, progressive Christianity, Pulse, Single, single in the sanctuary

red-love-heart-oldEver since starting the Single in the Sanctuary group on Facebook as well as lead a couple of speaking engagements, I’ve had people share their stories with me.  It’s been an amazing experience to learn about the roads our friends have been on over the course of their lives.

After hearing many stories, I see that there are some overlaps to many of our stories.  We share similar sentiments of loneliness.  Often, we wrestle when hope is lost.

But while a few of our stories are alike in many ways, each of our stories of being unmarried has distinct differences just like our DNA and fingerprints.  Because of these vast differences, we can’t speak for someone else.  Again, I was reminded of this – especially in light of the shooting at the Pulse Night Club in Orlando as well as what safety and sanctuary mean to LGBTQ people.

I can only speak for myself: an educated, straight white never-been-married cis-female.  Granted, I’ve gone through some tough times being single throughout my twenties and thirties.  Just by being a woman, there have been times when I’ve felt extremely unsafe.  But my issues have minimal intersectionality issues, and I am extremely privileged.  I’ve never faced what it means to be a person who is queer.  I’ve never experienced what it means to be a single woman of color.  Being a progressive Christian, I’ve also never experienced what a Jewish or Muslim woman has experienced.

As I reflect, some questions have come to mind: How would a person of color experience never being married?  What would it be like to be a person of another faith who is getting divorced?  How many more layers of difficulty in dating exist for a transgender person?  How do lesbian, gay and bisexual people navigate the healing process for abusive relationships?

Of course, no one is required to tell us their stories unless they are ready to talk and they feel safe speaking with us.  But what we as people of privilege within the unmarried spectrum need to understand is that there are friends who must deal with many additional layers of challenges.

All that any of us as people of privilege can do is allow space for all unmarried open-minded Christians to speak without interruption or trying to explain their experience for them, especially those whose stories are vastly different than ours.  And my job, in return, is to learn as much as possible from them when they are ready to share.

I will continue to tell my story.  But it is only one story in the sea of many.  My experience is only my experience, and it is one that is fairly privileged.  May the God in whose image we are all made give us the courage, strength and power to tell our stories and the patience to listen to the narratives of others.

 

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For Such a Time as This…

13 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Social Justice

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

discrimination, Esther, Esther 4, ethnic discrimination, For such a time as this, LGBT, Muslim, Orlando, Orlando shooting, privilege, progressive Christianity, Pulse, racism, sexism, white privilege

IMG_2866

“For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.’”

Esther 4:14

For such a time as this…

Sometimes we don’t want to shake our current placid state.  Everyone in our cozy corner of the world is (fairly) happy…

And then 50 people are killed and another 50 or so injured by a solo bigoted, biased, homophobic hate-filled shooter.  In our cozy corner of the world, we have the privilege to close our eyes, bask in the sun for the rest of the day and forget that tragic incident happened early yesterday morning in Orlando, Florida.

We dodge conversations on the discrimination that happens to our friends of color, the ugly words thrown at our LGBTQ friends, the catcalls and assaults and violence in homes that happens to our sisters, the ways that Muslims feel threatened just by living in this country.  We can point our fingers at everyone else that doesn’t look anything like us.  It’s their fault… It has to be… I’m just sitting on my cozy corner minding my own business.

But when the hateful rhetoric in our country is getting louder and louder and more people are dying and being abused because of their color, religion, sexual orientation, gender/gender identity/gender expression, then we as people of faith need to stop sitting in our cozy corners and get ourselves out into the world.

For such a time as this, we are called to listen to stories without judgment.

For such a time as this, we are called to open our mouths and speak out every single time we hear hate.

For such a time as this, we are called to be the voice of love in our world.

Esther could have sat in her cozy corner of the world.  She could have allowed her kin to be massacred.  Instead, she risked her own life to stand up for the lives and well being of others.

Are we willing to do the same?  Am I willing to do the same?

For such a time as this, are we willing to call out the voices of hate?  When hearing such hateful words against our sisters and brothers, are we willing to name such animosity?

Are we willing to say that our LGBT sisters and brothers are loved by God for who they are?

Are we willing to say that the lives of our sisters and brothers of color matter?

Are we willing to say that the bodies of our sisters are to be respected?

Are we willing to say that our Muslim sisters and brothers shine the light and love of God in our world and that the stereotypes are wrong?

Are we willing to say that our transgender friends are loved by God just as they are?

Are we willing to say all of these words aloud, risking our lives and livelihoods like Esther?

Will we use our privilege to listen, learn and speak to other people of privilege at such a time as this?

May the loving arms of God surround the survivors in Orlando as they heal in body, mind and soul.  May the peace of God surround the grieving family members and friends as they come to terms with the violence and hate that robbed them of their loved ones.  May the strength of God carry our LGBT, Latinx and Muslim friends as they navigate a world still so threatening.  And may God give all of us the courage to speak out against hate in our world.  Amen.

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Marriage Equality – The Constantly Expanding Love of God

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

expansive family, expansive love, LGBT, Marriage Equality, non-traditional family, progressive Christianity, redefining family, Same Sex Marriage

This post was written in conjunction with the July 2015 Synchroblog on the topic “Gay Marriage.”

Years ago, I expressed my views supporting marriage equality.

My pastor at the time was not supportive of my perspective.  “I could help you change your mind,” he said to me.  I prayed.  I read Scripture.  I listened and read stories of the ever expanding love of God in gay and lesbian relationships.

And then I realized I couldn’t go back.  I couldn’t minimize my view of love.  Or family.  Or marriage.  There were no holy scissors big enough to eliminate the love which abides in lesbian and gay relationships.

I then chose to become a member of a United Church of Christ congregation.  It was a small congregation where everyone knew one another’s name.  When I joined, they hadn’t yet officially taken a vote to become Open and Affirming, but while I was a member, we voted in the affirmative.  The denomination had voted to affirm marriage equality in 2005.

I currently serve a congregation that is not Open and Affirming.  Without their approval, I will not perform a same-gender ceremony in the church’s sanctuary.

However, I will perform a same-gender wedding ceremony anywhere else.  Now that marriage is legal for heterosexual as well as lesbian and gay relationships all over our country, I feel it is in my theology of justice and equality that I offer this blessing to all people.

In fact, I’ve already done one.

In November 2014, I presided over the wedding and was blessed to sign a marriage certificate in Illinois for a wonderful couple, Debbie and Jessica.  I’ve known Debbie since elementary school, and I was honored to be asked to preside over their wedding.  My entire immediate family was on hand to watch me officiate the wedding for these two wonderful women.  Through Debbie and Jessica, just like the other couples whose weddings I’ve also officiated, I see how God is the God of expanding and just-filled love.

Photo of me presiding over Debbie and Jessica's wedding in November 2014.

Photo of me presiding over Debbie and Jessica’s wedding in November 2014.

They’re able to be their most truest selves – loving honestly, living authentically.  Isn’t that what God would want for each of us?

Marriage equality isn’t only a justice issue but also a pastoral issue.  When two people want to combine their lives together and form a covenant with one another in the presence of God and all of creation, the pastoral need calls for us pastors to tend to those whose hearts need care.

There will be many who believe that the Bible abhors same-gender relationships.  Yet relationships during the time when the Bible was written were ones where the men had most of the power, women were secondary human beings, and marriages were not exactly consensual for both parties.

I look at Michal, Saul’s daughter whom David won as a war prize.  Even after he deserted her and she was given in marriage to another man, David reclaimed Michal as property.  Most likely, Bathsheba didn’t have a choice except to marry David after he impregnated her (probably without her consent).  Both Leah and Rachel had to be “earned” by Jacob.  Vashti was banished because she wouldn’t provocatively dance for her husband and his friends.

From these examples we see that mutuality in today’s heterosexual relationships is much different than what we read in Scriptures.  Relationships have changed greatly even since mid-nineteenth or twentieth century Western Civilization.  This can only lead us to the conclusion that relationships continue to evolve and will continue to transform.  As long as two people can make the covenant they desire and both can agree upon, and both people can demonstrate respect for one another, then we, as church leaders, should support their love wherever it stands.

And maybe that’s the way God wants it to be.

From couples of all genders and colors and economic groups and religions and everything else, I continue to see a Divine love that’s always expanding.  I often wonder how relationships will look in fifty years.  Yet if God is the God of constant motion and the architect of love, then God will lead us to welcome love in all forms – even if it’s unfamiliar.

How will we open ourselves to new forms of family, relationships, and love?  How can we embrace what is said in Scriptures but also listen to the still-speaking God in our midst?

*****

The following are other bloggers writing on this topic for the July Synchroblog.  Many of these writers provide views very different than mine.  In a spirit of love and dialogue as covenantal members of the Body of Christ, I still encourage you to read each of these.  May God’s love transcend the differences we hold.  Amen.

  • Justin Steckbauer – Gay Marriage, LGBTQ Issues, and the Christian Worldview
  • Leah Sophia – Marriage Equality Again
  • Tony Ijeh – Thoughts on Gay Marriage
  • Tim Nichols – Imago Dei: Loving the Different
  • Carlos Shelton – About Gay Marriage
  • Wesley Rostoll – Some Things to Consider Regarding Gay Marriage
  • K. W. Leslie – Same-sex Marriage
  • Paul W. Meier – Gay Marriage: Love is the Narrow Gate
  • Tara – Justice for All
  • Michelle Torigian – Marriage Equality: The Constantly Expanding Love of God
  • Lifewalk Blog – Here I am
  • Mary – A Recovering Evangelical Writes about Homosexuality
  • Liz – Same Sex Marriage Stuff: Part 1
  • Loveday – Gay Marriage in Africa, USA, and the World
  • Jea7587 – Loving Your Gay Neighbor, Part 2
  • D. L. Webster – Questions of Interacting with Differing Beliefs
  • Jeremy Myers – Two Men in One Bed? (Luke 17:34)

 

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We Still Need to Talk About Leelah

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Media

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Acts 8, editorial cartoon, Jesus, Leelah, Leelah Alcorn, LGBT, Matthew 19, Philip and the eunuch, progressive Christianity, suicide, Transgender, WCPO

Image via WCPO

This week, my friend Kevin Necessary’s editorial cartoon was published on the Cincinnati news channel website WCPO.com.  The drawing was a cartoon of Leelah Alcorn and a quote from her final letter.  In the comments under the cartoon, many responders desired the conversations to halt.  They used negative words to describe Leelah.  But thanks to the station and those monitoring the site, the conversations continued.

It reminded me of a situation from 2007.

At the time I lived in Largo, Florida.  Steve Stanton was our city manager.  I was acquainted with Stanton from my days working as a membership director for the Greater Largo Chamber of Commerce.  Stanton was a dedicated public servant, working for the city for nearly two decades.

Due to a horrific move by the St. Petersburg Times (now the Tampa Bay Times), Stanton’s true gender identity and upcoming transition was outed to the entire Tampa Bay community.  The entire community was stunned by the news.  The media leaked this story before Stanton could tell her 13-year-old son.

Of course, people in this suburban town couldn’t allow Stanton to remain manager of the city.  Based on her ultra-conservative faith, then-city commissioner Mary Gray Black demanded for Stanton to be fired.

At the hearings, people from all perspectives came to stand for or against Stanton.  A pastor from a local church stated “If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he’d want (him) terminated. Make no mistake about it.”  I personally wrote letters to each of the commissioners urging them to continue the employment of Stanton.  Unfortunately, with a 5-2 vote, the Largo commissioners chose to fire Stanton in February 2007.  Soon after, Stanton began to publicly identify as Susan Stanton.  It was truly a very embarrassing time for the city of Largo, Florida.  (Fortunately, as of this week, LGBT persons will be able to marry in Pinellas County, Florida.)

Even in 2007, our communities knew very little about transgenderism and weren’t willing to learn more.

People like to continue to believe that our current gender is the only thing that defines us.  Boy or Girl.  Man or Woman.  Be a manly man or be a feminine lady.  Don’t identify outside of gender norms, and don’t identify with another gender.  They call people who identify differently “perverts” or “immoral.”

Here’s how much gender means to our society: if one’s genitals or reproductive organs are not in a specific order, then he or she is considered less than human.  If a person does not identify with their current physical gender, then they are less than human.  They are unclean.  A text from Deuteronomy sticks in people’s minds: “No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 23:1, NRSV).

What people forget are the words of the New Testament.  Jesus came to fulfill the law, and in doing so, never condemns the eunuchs in Matthew 19 nor does he deem them unclean.  According to Jesus, some are born that way, some have become eunuchs physically or spiritually by their own accord, and some had no choice in the matter and were made eunuchs by others.

So, to answer the pastor who said that Jesus would want Susan Stanton fired: Jesus never said that nor did he allude to ridding our society of genderqueer people.

Additionally, the story of Philip and eunuch in Acts 8 gives us the powerful example that no one is excluded from the Kingdom of God.  Even though the Ethiopian eunich would have been deemed unclean, Philip was called by the Spirit to baptize this child of God.

When our society continues to consider anyone who does not fit within the boxes of gender “norms” unclean – whether they are transgender, express their gender outside of cisnormative, genderqueer, etc. – then our society contributes to the hate crimes and suicides of many of God’s children.

To those people who are “tired of hearing about it” and want to “give it a rest” and “move on”: understand that you are privileged in your gender and your physical self.  You can turn off the news and never have to think about gender identity.  But Leelah couldn’t turn this off.  Leelah couldn’t give it a rest or move on.  And that is why Leelah took her own life.

Indeed, we can’t move on yet.  We need to continue to talk about this because, someday, many of us will lose a family member or friend who is transgender – either through suicide or hate crime.  Maybe some of us already have lost a loved one because they couldn’t believe society would accept them as genderqueer.

According to the Williams Institute and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

The prevalence of suicide attempts among respondents to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS), conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality, is 41 percent, which vastly exceeds the 4.6 percent of the overall U.S. population who report a lifetime suicide attempt, and is also higher than the 10-20 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults who report ever attempting suicide.

Those of us who identify with the gender in which we were born can not understand the struggle that a transgender person will endure.  Our physical, mental and spiritual selves are complex.  In some people, the physical does not match the emotional or spiritual.  The brain is an intricate organ.  As fellow humans, it’s important to recognize that when a person identifies with the opposite gender than the one in which they were born, it’s not an immoral act.  They aren’t selfish or a pervert.  They aren’t somehow more “specially depraved” than anyone else. However, they are enduring struggle that those of us who aren’t transgender will never understand.  Taking time to listen to and appreciate their journey instead of casting judgment will continue to build a community of compassion.

Leelah stated in her final note “The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was. They’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights.”  In memory of Leelah and our loved ones who have died, and in honor of Susan, let’s try to treat people of all genders, gender expressions and gender identities as humans – all made in God’s image.

I don’t know much about transgenderism or being genderqueer, and I write this out of respect of my transgender sisters and brothers.  If someone from the community knows more and any of my information is incorrect, please contact me.  

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Sermon: Clean or Unclean? We’re All One.

16 Sunday Jun 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Clean, discrimination, divorce, Galatians 2, homophobia, Jesus, LGBT, Luke 7, Luke 8, Martin Luther King Jr., Michelle Torigian, race, racism, segregation, Sermon, St. Paul United Church of Christ, UCC, Unclean

This sermon was delivered at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Road, Cincinnati on June 16, 2013.

Luke 7:36-8:3
Galatians 2:11-21

Back in 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. said that the 11 o’clock hour on Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week. People of different races, ethnic groups attend their own churches. People of various political or theological views also huddle together in their own faith communities.

Even in a 2012 article, it was found that only seven percent of churches with less than 1,000 attendance are multiracial.

We think we’ve come far in this world. No more segregated water fountains. Interracial couples are legally allowed to marry all over our country where it wasn’t legal a few decades earlier. Yet, very often people of a certain color live in one neighborhood while another race lives in a separate area. And, like in 1963, we still celebrate God in very different spaces.

People always use scripture or faith to find ways to separate the “us” from “them” and to distance themselves from “the other.” Back in the 1800’s people used to scripture and faith to justify both slavery and abolition. Texts from Ephesians 6 and Titus 2 were used to affirm slavery whereas proponents of abolition looked at the ongoing Biblical themes of justice and equality to affirm their stance. Still today, there are multiple issues that one side affirms with Scripture as the other side opposes the issue with Scripture as well. And this keeps our communities divided and ever so segregated.

Why do we have this mentality of us versus them? Of course, it’s not new.

In the gospel reading from Luke, we see Jesus eating with a Pharisee. So, yes, Jesus associated with those with greater societal standing. And then a woman who the world sees as the “other” or somehow “less than” comes in and showers Jesus with attention. Jesus affirms that he experiences more love and hospitality from the woman with the lesser reputation than the Pharisee with the better reputation.

We don’t know much about this woman except that she was a sinner. We don’t know what type of sins she engaged in. They could be referring to her more as a law-breaker rather than a sinner. But wasn’t the Pharisee a sinner too?

The Luke text reminds us that Jesus associated with all types of people: women, the unclean, those who were sick. In fact, he didn’t just hang out with them, but he touched them when healing. He allowed them to touch him too. Whether it was touching dead corpses, people with leprosy or the woman with the hemorrhage, when Jesus came in touch with these people, he became unclean like them – at least according to Jewish Law. Scripture never says he went through purification rituals each evening. As our Wednesday study class had learned the other night from the Saving Jesus Redux video, Jesus had become unclean to relate and save the unclean.

If anyone was allowed to be judgmental, it was Jesus. But even Jesus wasn’t that judgmental about sins. He focused his life and ministry on showing love and grace.

In the reading from Paul’s letter to the Galatians, Cephas used to eat with the uncircumcised Gentiles even though he was circumcised. Cephas would eat with those who followed very different food rules.

Then James and the group who followed the law, the Jewish members of the early Jesus movement, came back into town. In order to keep people happy or to have people continue to like them, Cephas and Barnabas ditched their relationships with the Gentiles. This is when Paul confirms that there is something greater that the law that some of them followed: grace. Through that grace, both Jews and Gentiles learn to place their differences aside.

During the first century, people segregated themselves because of their rituals and food choices. Sixty years ago it was water fountains and eating spaces. What are today’s issues?

This gives us the opportunity to ask ourselves from whom would 21st century Christians divide themselves and who would Jesus hang out with today? Those who have engaged in drug use in their past? Those who swear? Our gay brothers and sisters? Interfaith or interracial couples? Those who pass a hungry man on the street? Those who own guns? Those who are against guns? Democrats? Republicans? Liberals? Conservatives? Divorced people or people who live together before they’re married? Maybe all of the above???

Wherever Jesus was, it was probably one of the least segregated places in Israel because people from different groups of people wanted to hear about love and grace. They wanted to experience healing. And Jesus himself hung out with both the Pharisees and the unclean. If Jesus showered all sorts of people with love instead of intense judgment, should we do the same?

We may not agree with our neighbors on how they live their lives. As individuals, we each build our moral codes based upon how we relate Scripture to our sense of reasoning, experience and traditions. And we don’t see Scripture, reason, experience and tradition in the same ways. But we aren’t necessarily given a free pass to shun people just because our faith and their faith doesn’t line up. Just the opposite. We are called to be in the presence of those with whom we would never intend to associate.

Jesus was one who prioritized relationships over rules. He healed the sick on the Sabbath, touched the unclean making himself unclean and ate with all sorts of people. Might Jesus be asking us to place our relationships with others over legalism and minute differences? If Jesus, who some think was perfect, was able to associate with all sorts of people and become unclean to be like them, then we who are definitely not perfect are absolutely called to associate with other imperfect people. And as for me, I’ve experienced some of the greatest hospitality and unconditional love from those who many people consider “unclean” in our society.

The way we each look at faith, at our beliefs are going to be different. At a church like ours, it’s not what you believe because, let’s face it, we’re across the board. And thank God we’re not told what to believe. But even when we are different and we’re individuals, we’re still part of the body of Christ. We’re not called to agree with one another but be one in Christ. We are still in covenant with one another even as we live autonomously. There is the Great Connection, and whether we see it on this side of heaven or that side of heaven, we will see that all of us are loved by God and called to do the same.

So as we go forward in asking ourselves “Where is God calling us” do we need to ask ourselves who is God calling us to invite and include? Are we needing to reflect on who we include and reach out to? What would this church look like if it were filled with those who are so different than us? This would be scary – – yet how would this help us to grow and live out the great commission that the Spirit has be nudging Christians to do for centuries?

As we abide in this most segregated hour of the week, let us find ways to bridge the great divide as there is no longer slave or free, male or female, clean or unclean, us or them, but, instead, one in Christ. Amen.

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In Christ’s Love – A Letter From a Ally

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ally, Bible, Bisexual, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Gay, God, Jesus, Lesbian, LGBT, Lincoln, Love, Martin Luther King Jr., MLK, Straight, Transgender, Transgendered

Last night, I tweeted this:

“I’m a straight ally pastor who is here for you dealing w/#TheStrugglesOfBeingGay. God loves you just as you are! :)”

I received a few responses from people on Twitter.  I think they needed to hear that there are people of faith who support and love them.

How could I not tweet this?  Jesus the Christ loved everyone.  Am I not called to do the same thing?

But that’s not the only reason.

I have experienced the unconditional, steadfast love of God through my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered friends.  They have been open to sharing Christ’s radical love.  And this has led me to becoming a straight ally.

Since college, I continuously have new LGBT friends coming into my life.  I’ve met them through friends, work and school.  Some of my dearest friends have come out to me since we’ve met, and others have come out years prior to our meeting.

This is what I would say to those of  you who are my LGBT friends in a friendship letter of love:

I think you are all so very brave to truly be the person God has made you.  And I am blessed by all of you in my life.

When I’ve been down, you have listened to me.  When I’ve been sick, you have brought me food.  You have prayed with me in times of trouble.  We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together.  You have encouraged me in my calling and been a huge part of my faith journey.

You are witnesses to the steadfast presence of Christ in our friendships and in this world.  You’ve extended hands of  hospitality and truly cared about me just as I am.

To my friends who identify as gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, queer, asexual, questioning and fellow straight allies… thank you.

This is a letter of love back to you.  Our orientations and gender identities may be different, and I don’t know the true capacity of strife you’ve experienced in  your lives.  But I am proud to stand next to you and say we are all children of God, and we are all made in God’s image.  We all want joy in our lives, and we all want to be loved just as we are.

Thank you for inviting me to your weddings to see new covenants being made.  Thank you for breaking bread with me.  Thank you for allowing me to be a visitor in your homes.  My life is better because you are in it.

Love, Michelle

Now, to my friends who are still in the camp of “traditional” marriage (a.k.a. marriage between one man and one woman): I recognize that you will not all will agree with me.  Many just  aren’t there when it comes to expanding marriage, yet you treat LGBT people with respect.  I try to be sensitive about voicing my views to people who aren’t quite at the same place I am about gay marriage and various gay rights.  Experiencing new people and new situations takes a certain comfort level.  I highly encourage you to continue conversations with LGBT friends, and maybe your views on love, life and God will change.

And then there are people who are relentless about keeping love in a box: those who use the Bible against their fellow sisters and brothers.  I realize that standing quietly by and allowing seriously bigoted views to float through our atmosphere does not make sense anymore.  Allowing bullying and slanderous words should no longer be in our society.

I’ve heard from some people think that loving a person requires trying to change someone into becoming straight, and that being gay is not good enough.  So here’s what I’d like to say to these friends.  Here’s my letter to those who have closed themselves off from having unconditional loving relationships with their LGBT sisters and brothers:

I have to ask you a couple questions: How would you like it if someone wanted to change something about you that you could not change?  How would you enjoy living in a world where people didn’t love you for who you are.

You see, my LGBT friends are moral.  Extremely moral and kind.  They know Christ in ways that many bigoted people seem to miss.  They know Christ in ways that I have even neglected sometimes.  All they want is to have the same chances at love as you do.  And I’m sorry that those of you who are my close-minded friends have missed out on such love and beauty in your lives.

I also do not want my LGBT friends hurting anymore.  I want them to feel the same dignity you and I feel.  I want them to feel no shame.  I want them to experience the overflowing love of God.  And that is why I write to you today.

My prayers are that God helps you see people and the human condition in new ways – mostly so that you will have an enriched life full of overflowing love.

Love, Michelle

After watching Lincoln this weekend, I had to write this.  It came to mind that, generation after generation, some people feel the need to oppress others to keep their status of life more valid.  What happens when slaves are freed – will they get to vote?  What happens when they vote – will women get to vote?  Justice is a slippery slope.  But that’s the good and decent slippery slope that needs to happen.  Through logic, I see how those who defended slavery and stood against voting rights for minorities and women were on the wrong side of justice.  Those who stood against interracial marriage were on the wrong side of justice.  In 50 years, people will wonder why so many in the early 21st century stood on the wrong side of justice.  Just like those defending injustice decades ago, they used God and the Bible as their reasoning (yet continued to eat bacon-wrapped shrimp).

For Martin Luther King, Jr. said “The arc of the universe is long but it bends towards justice.”

Join me on this side of the arc of justice.  If you haven’t had the chance to get to know LGBT people around you, I highly suggest it.  They will bless your lives in new ways.  Listen to their stories.  Hear the struggles they’ve endured.  Know that God will be presence as you listen to each.

I feel that writing this is a bit of a risk.  But, in this life, I feel the necessity to share God’s overflowing love.  That’s the love that brings connection and understanding.  And how wonderful of a world it would be if we could experience this in one another!

I thank all of you who have open my eyes to new types of love.  Let’s keep love outside of the box today, this Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.

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