Tag Archives: grief

A Prayer for Times of Twigs and Ashes

22 Wednesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Lent Prayers

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God of the sticks, the dry grounds, the damp tears, and the gritty ashes:
Oh how we yearn for the spring to arrive.
The days of the sweet mild breezes carrying the scents of your creation.
The boldness of the sunrise which will awaken our souls
Instead of the chilly winds swirling below the thick cloud cover.

But for now, God, we sit under the tree full of twigs and surrounded by ashes.
We sit with the grief that comes from unbearable losses.
We settle knowing that today may not go well, that tomorrow is not guaranteed-
Yet hope still illuminates the sky in the distance.

So we live with that hope:
The hope that the phoenix will rise from the ashes
And Christ will rise from the tomb.
We live with the hope that the twigs on the trees
Will bear leaves when the time is right.
We know that after the longest nights of our lives
That the sun will rise again,
And that you, Holy Comforter,
Will follow us to the depths of Sheol if we flee.

Even when hardships encroach our space
And afflictions invade our bodies,
The hope found in the realm of God-
The dirt-filled, ash smeared
Tear-damp realm of God
Is still hope.
This is the hope that drives away despair,
That warms our hearts,
That give us moments of cheer.
And in that we offer God our praise.

Amen.

A Lament for the Annuals Outside

05 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by in grief, Life, Prayers

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Holy Sense of Peace-

As mid-autumn rushes into our region, its companion, frost, settles upon the grass and flowers. The beauty of frost as the morning light reflects upon it brings us momentary joy.

And then we see our plants who have journeyed with us since spring shriveled, hunched over. Their leaves waving a final goodbye.

We remember their tiny days as we would gently bury their roots into the ground and waited for their leaves to grow and flowers to burst forth. Through the summer, their beings would expand in every direction. They greeted us every morning and evening, welcoming us home when the days were rough, and sending us out into the world with a sense of hope.

Today we bid them farewell and give gratitude for the months they brightened our yards and lives. To you, God, we give thanks for the beauty of annuals, even when their lives are short. We reflect upon our own lives. Like the flowers, how will we illuminate the world with our gifts?

May your peace strengthen us in these short days, cold nights, and when our yards lack the bright colors of summer.

Amen.

A Prayer When Missing the Saints

01 Monday Nov 2021

Posted by in grief, Holidays, National Day Prayers, Pop

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Divine Winds of Comfort,

As the dawn of a new chapter begins, we yearn for the scenes of yesterday. Our hearts miss the saints who no longer abide with us here on earth. Our souls ache to hear their voices once again, to feel our hands in theirs, to hug them again.

On this All Saints Day, give us the strength to move forward in a world without them. Comfort our grieving hearts. May your peace calm the spasms of our spirit when the grief overtakes us. May beautiful memories accompany us each day of the rest of our lives. Amen.

Anniversaries and Grief

18 Friday Sep 2020

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Today’s the third anniversary of my dad’s death. While I’m doing ok living in a world absent of his voice, I obviously miss him greatly.

The thing I noticed about my grief is that it takes on different forms. Maybe I feel a bit of malaise. Maybe my mind is more distracted. Maybe my blood pressure becomes elevated. (The last one has been an issue whenever someone close to me dies.)

What I must remember is that I am required to be kind to myself this week each year. The day I got the call about dad’s cardiac arrest was extremely traumatic. The week sitting by his bedside and sleeping in hospital and hospice rooms was exhausting. The memories of this week cause a number of feelings to bubble up and many that are just below the surface.

I’m off today. I can tell. My grief is not the outpouring of tears all of the time. But it’s present. I will keep going, and I’m grateful for God’s grace to cover my mistakes and distracted mind and God’s peace to accompany the traumatic memories.

Just like the last three years, I’ll get through this.

A Prayer for Sad Days of the Pandemic

12 Wednesday Aug 2020

Posted by in COVID Prayers, Pop

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God of laughs and tears-
In this dreadful episode of our lives,
When the days are long and nearly the same
And our adventures are limited,
The grief is pouring from our heavy hearts.

For some, the work is getting harder.
Our taxed minds are exhausted from making decisions.
We feel isolated, neglected, dismissed-
Sad.
Where is the energy we had at the beginning?
We were going to save the world with our work!
But two weeks became a month which became a season.
And nearly six months later,
What now?

On top of all of this,
Children are learning remotely,
Parents must learn to be two places at once.
We are dreading the spread of COVID,
And our loved ones are very sick and dying.

When will life return to normal?
Will life return to normal?
Will we sleep normally again?

O God, show your presence in these cloudy days
When the waters of visioning are murky
And we don’t know how to style tomorrow.

O God, show us your presence as our hearts sink
And as the winds of the unknown swirl around us.

Fill our souls with hope,
And may we see the land of possibilities again.

Amen.

A Prayer at the End of a Quarantined Day

10 Sunday May 2020

Posted by in Current Events, Pop, Prayers, Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers

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God of the Night Sky,
whose stars brighten our transition into tomorrow
bless the holiness that is the end of this day.

For the deeds left undone and the words unsaid,
may your grace bring me peace.

For any disappointments I’ve created and love unshared,
pour your mercy on me.

Thank you for understanding me-
my fatigued body
my exhausted mind
my heart full of grief.

Oh how I miss this world before this.

I miss my Sunday mornings full of energy
and my Thursday night meetings.
I miss running into a store when I need one item,
and I miss eating in restaurants with friends.

So there is sadness this day,
and you know this God.

So bless my tears.
Bless my humanity.
Bless my friends separated by space but not hearts

With a body that hurts and a heart that aches,
know that I’ve given this day my all.

“Now I lay me down to sleep…”
I pray to you, God, a soul of peace.

Amen.

Quarantine Worship – Lent 5 and John 11

24 Tuesday Mar 2020

Posted by in Current Events, grief, Lent Prayers, Liturgy, Pop

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Entry into Worship
Some enter worship with bubbles of joy in their souls
and some come to this time with dread-painted spirits.
Some enter worship with pitchers full of hope
and others only bring bowls of despair.

You may be carrying a myriad of emotions
or feel like your emotions have run dry.
This is the space to bring your fullest selves-
whether withered or flourishing.

No matter where you are spiritually or physically,
Your tears and laughter are welcome here.

Invocation
Cradling God, as emotions swell in our minds
and our souls feel a disconcerting ache,
be our source of comfort.
In this boundless night of our existence,
be our light.
In a wilderness that has no end,
be our guide.
May we encounter your fountains of hope in this exile.
Amen.

Prayer of Reconciliation
We are overflowing with emotions right now God.
Some we understand.  Others we do not.
And with this overabundance of feelings
comes an overabundance of reactions.
Some are healthy.  Others hurt.
Forgive us for acting out of our grief.
Assist us in understanding our emotions in new ways
so that we don’t hurt our neighbors again.  Amen.

Assurance of Grace
Jesus got angry.  Jesus wept.  Jesus grieved.
Like Jesus, our full humanity will shine in this world-
from our lamenting to our laughter.
Like Jesus, the Divine Image will be seen in us
through our tears and our grins.  Amen.

Reflection on Giving
In our individual spaces, we recognize the privileges and gifts we bear-
the time that we give,
our special talents,
and our financial treasures.

While the world may seem like it’s slowed quite a bit,
our building still stands,
some programs have become virtual,
and our staff still sustains the work of the church.

With the gifts you give,
the endeavors of the congregation progresses in transformed ways.

So we pray together…
May God bless the gifts we’ve been given
as they will be used to continue our mission
whether within or outside of the church’s walls.
We thank you for technology that we use each day
to promote the mission of the church-
bringing good news and hope to the children of God.
Amen.

Benediction
Cradling God-
May our tears bless the ground on which we walk.
May our breath sustain our bodies which houses our souls.
May our beating hearts remind us of your love for us all.
Through our hearts, our breathing, and our tears, let us care for your children in this Lenten wilderness.
Amen.

(c) Rev. Michelle L. Torigian  Permission to use with attribution.

Public Events and Private Grief

29 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by in Current Events, grief, Pop

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I have a lot of feelings and opinions when it comes to the current impeachment hearings of the US President.  Now, here is not necessarily the place to insert those opinions (although I may at some point).  But other things are bubbling up as part of this process.

My dad was my civics teacher.  He taught us about the U.S. Constitution, the leaders of our country, and the workings of elections – – and impeachments.

At the time I had had him as my civics teacher (1987-1988), only one president had been impeached.  I believe when the next impeachment hearings rolled around in the late 1990’s, I was far too concerned about frivolous things to engage in a decent debate with dad on the hearings of that time.

Right now, he’s the one person I wish was around so I could talk with him about the happenings in D.C.

We thought alike quite a bit when it came to politics and government.  Yet, we didn’t always agree on every subject.  He and I would debate fiercely on the need of having the Electoral College…

I just wish I didn’t have the last word on that debate so soon.

No matter the direction of our government-related conversations, I would learn much about civics from him – whether it was well before I formally had him as a teacher, in freshman civics class, or in the thirty years following.

And for the first time this year, I won’t get to discuss the results of the Iowa Caucus or Super Tuesday.  I won’t get to send him a selfie of me with my “I voted” sticker.  I won’t get to watch the conventions or fret as we watch the returns on election night.

This is part of grief people forget about.  What happens in our society, on the television, or out in the world can trigger grief.  This secondary grief doesn’t necessarily occur to us when we first lose our loved one.  But as time passes, moments of mourning happen because it reminds us of our beloved.

When hearing a father and daughter have died together, certain feelings may bubble up in some people who may have recently lost their father, spouse, or child.  When seeing a royal wedding on television, we may think of the time we watched another royal wedding with our grandparents.  When seeing a storyline on a television show, it may remind us of the trauma we experienced when our family member was struggling with the same challenges.

I miss my dad.  When I really reflect on the fact that I will never be able to discuss current events again with him during this life, my heart aches.  And yet I’m blessed that I had him as my teacher – both inside and outside the classroom.

Blue Christmas Prayer Service

16 Monday Dec 2019

Posted by in Advent prayers, Holidays, Liturgy, Pop

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Here is the latest Blue Christmas prayer service I wrote for this year.  Feel free to use with attribution!

Call to Worship
One: As we move through the shadows where light finds no home,
Many: God is sauntering with us.
One: As we journey through the desert without direction or goal,
Many: God is wandering with us.
One: As we endure life in the space between grief and joy,
Many: God is trekking with us.
One: Whether we abide in the wilderness or promised land,
Many: God escorts us.

Prayer
Loving God, Divine Sojourner, in our minds we know you are always our partner and you are forever present. Yet in the depths of despair, we can’t always sense your presence.  We move about this earth with the desire that you see us. We cry in our grief, hoping that you will hear the lament of our hearts. As you hold us in the palm of your hand, open our souls in order for us to know the extent of your care in our lives.  Amen.

Hymn Suggestion            “In the Bleak Midwinter”

Scripture              Psalm 88:3-7

Prayer
Some of us are in the depths of the Pit, God of Deliverance.  Our hearts are swallowed by grief, and our souls overflowing with despair.  As the shadows hide your presence, call us with a different voice and reach to us with different hands.  May our seasons of despair evolve from times of loneliness to times of comfort. Amen.

Scripture                Psalm 130

Prayer
Divine Heart of Mercy, in your steadfast love you call us along the journey from despair to hope.  Allow us to see the trickles of light trespassing on shadow’s spaces. May slivers of expectation move us into places filled with your warm promises.  Amen.

Scripture                  Psalm 91

Reflection/Sermon

Prayers of the People and the Lord’s Prayer

Poem Suggestion            Howard Thurman’s “I Will Light Candles This Christmas”

Lighting of the Candles

Suggested Closing Hymn              “Silent Night”

Benediction
One: Even when lights have been dimmed
And shadows have lengthened,
God is near.
May the fragments of light and slivers of hope
Nudge all of us to take small steps into Divine anticipation!
Amen.

A Prayer as We Remember Our Saints

01 Friday Nov 2019

Posted by in grief, Pop, Prayers

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God of Expanding Love,

Our week pauses as we remember the ones who walked with us here on earth. Our day stops as we cherish the memories of the people whose energy are forever embedded within our souls…

For the saints who let us call them grandparents. For our time together in the kitchen and wandering around garage sales, as we learned stitches from them and listened to their stories. May their talents challenge us to be our best selves.

For the saints who led us in classrooms. For their steadfast encouragement which still walks with us today. May their educating spirit uplift our souls until our last days.

For the saints who hit the clubs with us in our twenties and spent countless hours with us as we cried over broken hearts.  For the ones who sat on the phone with us as we shared our joys. May our friendship abide in eternity.

For the saints in the pews near us. For their faith which carried us when we couldn’t see the road ahead. May their songs continue to be remembered on Sunday mornings, in meeting spaces, and fellowship gatherings.

For the saints which called us their children. For their Divine-like love that comforted us when our fevers spiked or skinned knees. May we forever celebrate the peaceful moments of their love.

For our beloveds that no longer walk this earth with us. For the moments of laughter now embedded in our souls. May each tear shed and each tale told be a testament to our love shared.

If only we could hear your voice alive again…

If only we could engage in simple disagreements…

If only we could tell you how sorry we were for that one thing we did wrong in 1995…

Our hearts feel torn by the assault of grief. Our minds feel foggy from mourning’s arrival.

And yet here we are – weeks, months, years, decades removed from the last time we shared space with them. Here we are surviving. Here we are- carrying their love into tomorrow.

God of the broken-hearted, as we walk together into the future, allow us your peace which goes beyond understanding, a peace that will enrich our strength as we continue on our journeys. May the tools left behind by our saints empower us to build your kin-dom here on earth.

Amen.