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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: Communion

A Maundy Thursday Communion Liturgy in Times of Quarantine

07 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by mictori in Communion Liturgy, Liturgy, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Communion, Communion Liturgy, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Holy Thursday, Holy Week, Liturgy, Maundy Thursday, progressive Christianity, Quarantine, sheltering-in-place

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Service of Communion

Christ gave us the mandate to love one another.
Christ gave us the peace that we will never be left alone.
Christ gave us the picture that we are connected as vine and branches.
Christ gave us the assurance that no one will take away our joy.

God is with you!
God is with us all!
Open wide our hearts.
We open them to new possibilities.
From our dining room tables to our home offices.
this is the time to give God our thanks and praise.

Our homes may be filled with young voices,
or our homes may be filled with overwhelming silence.
This table might be brimming with family,
or we may be sitting by ourselves at the empty table.
But the table is never truly empty.  The silence will not be the last sound you hear.

Jesus the Christ has created a realm of love for each of us-
one in which we will be reunited with loved ones,
one in which we are assured of God’s comfort.

It was a night filled with teachings and memories.
Undoubtedly, tears were shed and laughs raised.
This was the night before Jesus died.

Jesus took bread. 
As he blessed it and broke it,
he said to his friends
Whenever you eat this bread, eat in remembrance of me.

Later, Jesus blessed a cup filled with fruit of the vine.
Friends, this is the new covenant. Drink this to remember me. Drink to remember our time together.

Spirit of God, surround the bread.  Surround the cup.
Surround the elements – no matter what form they take.
Surround us – no matter where we are.
Bless us in our eating and drinking.
Bless our connection – near and far.

Even with physical distance between each one of us, our covenant with God will keep us together. Amen.

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Showing Hospitality to Strangers: A Communion Liturgy

27 Tuesday Aug 2019

Posted by mictori in Liturgy, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

aliens, Communion, Communion Liturgy, Hebrews 13, immigrant communion liturgy, Immigrants, Leviticus 19, Liturgy, Matthew 2, non-violent Communion, orphans, progressive Christianity, radical hospitality, refugee, refugees, strangers, widows

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This communion liturgy was written for a Sunday in which we were featuring the musical The Sound of Music.  I was preaching on welcoming the stranger and caring for immigrants and refugees.  Scriptures included that morning were of the Holy Family’s escape to Egypt as found in Matthew 2, Hebrews 13:2, and the Leviticus 19 text in which we are given the following command:

“When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.” 

SERVICE OF COMMUNION

Invitation
One: God be with you,
Many: And also with you.
One: Open wide your hearts!
Many: We open them up to God.
One: Let us give thanks for this time and space,
Many: Giving praise to God for this meal we will share.

Prayer
One: We are surrounded by a world of hunger and hurt.  We are surrounded by injustices, loneliness, illnesses, and hate.  Yet through you, God, we know a different story.  

Our sacred story tells us of many times when our ancestors dined with the Divine. When the Israelites left Egypt, they escaped with little resources.  As refugees, they moved into the wilderness. In their exile, God rained sacred sustaining bread from heaven.  

Our sacred story tells us of times when our ancestors dined with those who hungered.  When Abraham was approached by three strangers, he offered them bread to rebuild their bodies and refresh their souls.

Our sacred story tells us that when sojourners listening to the teachings of Jesus became hungry, Jesus gathered loaves and fish, ultimately providing enough for all in attendance with twelve additional baskets to share.

Our sacred story tells us that on the night before Jesus died, as he and his friends gathered in a room, Jesus clenched a loaf of bread.  He broke the loaf and said “do this in remembrance of me.”  And after supper, as the night grew long, Jesus took a cup.  As he blessed its contents, he exclaimed “Drink in remembrance of me.”

And our sacred story tells us that two of the disciples were on their way to Emmaus and came upon a stranger on the journey.  In a spirit of hospitality, they invited him to stay. As their new friend broke the bread, they were able to see the Christ.

Our table extends beyond this time and space: to food pantries, to community meals, to dinners shared with home-bound friends, and to coffee shared with friends who grieve.  When two or three are gathered, the Christ is present. As scriptures detail, in showing hospitality to strangers, we entertain the angels in our midst. As we have experienced, while sharing bread and cup, we have encountered angels among us.

May the Spirit of God encircle these gifts with love.  May the Spirit of God bless these gifts and, in doing so, bless the connections between all here and all in our hearts.  May the Spirit of God bless the widows and spouseless ones, children without parents and children from foreign lands, the last and first, the poor in spirit and the ones who hunger and thirst for righteousness.  May all of your children in each space on our earth feel your love and experience the winds of your righteousness. Amen.

Distribution of Elements

PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING

We celebrate our gratitude, Divine Companion.  As this spiritual meal has nourished us, inspire us to feed our neighbors and journey with the lonely.  Through our co-creation together, may we spread love throughout our world and extend your hospitality to people in need.  Amen.

(c) Rev. Michelle L. Torigian.  Free to use with attribution.

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Communion Liturgy for Epiphany

03 Thursday Jan 2019

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Holidays, Liturgy, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Communion, Communion Liturgy, Epiphany, Epiphany Sunday, Liturgy, non-violent Communion, progressive Christianity

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Invitation

One: Here at this table and in this sanctuary, let the Divine Spark enter our lives.
Many: Let the Holy Light aid us in seeing the Christ in our midst.
One: The Brightness of Jesus the Christ will illuminate our way.
Many: The Radiance of the Christ will warm our hearts.

One: God is shining upon you!
Many: And God’s light streams upon you!
One: Open your hearts.
Many: We open them to the brilliance of God.
One: Let us give thanks for the light and love of God.
Many: We praise our Creator with joy and thanksgiving.

Prayer

One: We enter this stunning space eager to experience the presence of the Christ.  Notice the Christ in the cries of the children. Spot the Christ your neighbor’s singing.  Recognize the Christ in the laughter from the back of the sanctuary. The Christ is gleaming here, summoning us to share love and light as we greet our neighbors, share peace, pass the bread and cup, and love kindness across this earth.

On the night before Jesus died, when some were plotting to extinguish the Holy Light, warmth was shared between friends.  Jesus took bread. In his blessing, he passed the Divine Glow to his followers. As he broke the bread, he reminded them to eat in remembrance of him.

Later that same evening, Jesus took the cup.  He blessed it and invited his friends to taste from the cup of grace.  “Do this, as often as you drink of this, for the remembrance of me.”’

Holy Spirit, may your Divine Glow bless this bread and cup.  Warm our hearts made cold by a chilled world. May this meal inspire us to carry your warmth into our world.  Amen.

Distribution of the Elements

Prayer of Thanksgiving
God of Light and Love, we cherish this table in this season when the nights are long and cold.  Through this meal, the Christ, and our neighbors, our hearts have warmed. May the comfort in our souls sustain us through winter and nudge us to create welcoming spaces for our neighbors.  With gratitude, we leave here energized to kindle your love in this world. Amen.

Please feel free to use this service of communion with attribution to Rev. Michelle L. Torigian.

 

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A Labor Day Communion Liturgy

30 Thursday Aug 2018

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Liturgy, Pop, Prayers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Communion, Communion Liturgy, Justice, Labor day, Liturgy, non-violent Communion, progressive Christianity, Social Justice, Workers

agricultural-agriculture-asia-226621

One: Creator of the harvest- We lift our voices in praise!
Many: Creator of the table – In you we find our peace.
One: In gratitude we gather to share this meal.
Many: With thanksgiving, we gather to share our love for neighbor.

One: As the sun sets earlier, the days become cooler, and the crops near harvest, we celebrate the plenitude of fruits available to us.  We acknowledge the ways that we can use our gifts to care for our siblings in need.  We extend this table through the work of our hands and the missions of this church.

As we celebrate this sacrament, may we remember the laborers in the fields:
The harvesters of the wheat and grapes.
The transporters of the their yields.
Those who transform wheat into bread and grapes into juice.

Bless their hands and feet as they labor at farms and gardens, in trucks and warehouses.  We give thanks for the ones who prepare the table here today.  May their gifts of preparation and hospitality inspire us to extend hospitality to the strangers among us.

After laboring on the streets of Jerusalem-
Doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God-
Jesus clutched bread in his hands.  He blessed the food, gave thanks, and heartfully expressed to his friends that this was the bread of life.  “As you eat this bread, remember me.”

After supper, Jesus grasped the cup filled with the gifts of the vine.  In his blessing, he reminded them “whenever you drink of this cup, remember me.”

Spirit of wisdom and of wonder, wind around these elements today.  May they stir us from stagnation into actively loving God, our neighbors, and ourselves.  May our participation at this table transform us into the people God is calling us to be.

With gratitude, we gather at this table.  As we take a piece of bread, let us experience the love of God as seen in Jesus the Christ.  As we immerse the bread into the cup, let us remember the grace that pours from God.

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Liturgy for a Final Sunday

05 Tuesday Jun 2018

Posted by mictori in Liturgy, Pop, Prayers

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

change, Communion, Communion Liturgy, interim, last days, Liturgy, pastor, pastoral resignation, progressive Christianity, resignation

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For my last Sunday at St. Paul UCC, Old Blue Rock, Cincinnati, I wrote this service which includes a communion liturgy. Please feel free to use with attribution!

CALL TO WORSHIP
One: ​As the trees release their spring flowers and welcome ​summer’s deep green leaves,
Many: ​God’s spirit accompanies us.
One: ​As each season passes their baton forward and years ​speed by in a flash,
Many: ​God’s Spirit strengthens us.
One: ​As we welcome new faces and bid farewell to others,
Many: ​God’s Spirit fills us with peace.

OPENING PRAYER (unison)
All:​God of questions and answers, of mystery and clarity, we grasp onto your presence today. In this time and space, we celebrate the crossing of thresholds. Here and now We express our gratitude that you abide with us in our laughter and tears. Saturate our souls with strength. Open our spirits to understand that all will be well in our seasons of change. Amen.

PRAYER OF RECONCILIATION
One:​Holy one, we enter this space today knowing that the winds of ​change are entering this sanctuary. The doors have opened to the ​Spirit’s surprises. But before we look towards a new chapter, we ​must conclude our current one.

All: ​God and Neighbor, we come to you today knowing that we ​must move towards a new future. In this space, we ​acknowledge that our hopes and dreams occasionally fell short, ​and we let one another down. Before we close our doors, may ​we extend grace to one another. May we know that we will ​always be part of the vine and branches, and that our love for ​one another extends throughout eternity. Amen.

Silent Prayer

ASSURANCE OF GRACE
One: ​God understands our human hearts. God extends grace ​continuously, and God delights when we pass that grace ​and mercy along to one another. Let us celebrate that ​even in our most human moments, we hold the image of ​God within us. May peace abide.
All: ​Amen!

INVITATION TO OFFERING
One: ​In both seasons of stability and change, God gives us the tools we ​need to serve this congregation, the Church, and the community. ​In recognition of our talents, time, and treasures, we give back to ​God in a spirit of gratitude. Let us celebrate all that has been and ​all that will be in this congregation by sharing our gifts.

UNISON PRAYER OF DEDICATION
Here and now, God, we express our joy for the gifts you’ve delivered to us and for the talents you’ve bestowed upon us. May each gift that we’ve been given as individuals and as a congregation be used to shine the light of Christ into the world. Amen.

SERVICE OF COMMUNION
One: Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a season for everything.
Seasons for planting and reaping
Seasons for mourning and dancing
Seasons for losing and seeking.

Today, at this table, we embrace the intersection of two seasons:
The season of welcoming and the season of bidding farewell.

We welcome new faces to the table of Christ knowing that all are
welcome to this time and space as Jesus the Christ crafted a table set
for all.

This table also represents a time of farewell- of the departure of faces
from this space. Yet as we reach for the bread and cup, even with
droplets of sadness in our hearts, we understand that the table forever
unites us for eternity.

May the Spirit of God surround these elements as the Spirit surrounds
us in our seasons of change. May the Spirit guide us in our ministries
and service. May the Spirit bless us as we mourn and dance, lose and
seek, plant and reap.

On the night before Jesus’ departure, Jesus gathered his friends one last
time for a meal like no other. As he took the bread he blessed and broke
it.
“Remember me” he said and passed the loaf to his friends.

On the night before Jesus’ departure, as the friends gathered one last
time for this meal which extends beyond time and space, Jesus took a
cup filled with the fruit of the vine.
“Remember me” he said and passed the cup to his friends.

A first meal. A last meal. A meal like no other.
This gift from the Christ connects us for eternity.
And through our time together today we are forever part of this Table.

UNISON PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING
God, your love crafted the table at which we feasted today. Your love
connects us whether we are nearby or miles apart. Through your
love, we grow closer to you and our neighbor. May the bread and cup refresh our souls and renew our relationships, and may we know that we are part of this table for eternity. Amen.

BENEDICTION
One: ​​As we depart today, may we know that through Jesus the ​Christ we are eternally siblings in faith. May we go ​forward in love, may the memories of joy abide with us ​forever, and may we celebrate our shared time on life’s ​journey: Forever connected. Forever loved. Forever part ​of the Body of Christ.
All: ​Amen.

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Pentecost Prayers

17 Thursday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Liturgy, Pop, Prayers

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

call to worship, Communion, Communion Liturgy, invocation, opening prayer, Pentecost, Prayer, Prayers

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Hello Friends!

I adore Pentecost. I suppose it’s the non-commercial tendencies of the holiday, the illustrations of nature that accompany the celebration, and the renewing nature of L the Holy Spirit.

Below is a link for a call to worship and opening prayer that I wrote in 2015. Also below is a link to a communion liturgy that I wrote last year.

CALL TO WORSHIP
One:​Listen for the Winds.
Many:​We hear the howling uncertainty.
One:​Feel the Breeze.
Many:​Air of comfort encircles us.
One:​See the world swaying.
Many:​The Spirit stirs us from complacency.
One:​Inhale the Breath.
Many:​The Spirit saturates our souls.

OPENING PRAYER
Restless Spirit, Fiery God,
You ignite our soul with the flames of inspiration-
Light our dimly-lit minds,
Burn in our chilled hearts.
Clear our eyes to see visions from afar.
Kindle our sleep with your dreams.
May we walk in the glowing path of Christ. Amen.

Communion liturgy for Pentecost

Prayer on RevGalBlogPals that can be used as a pastoral prayer

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An Easter Sunday Communion Liturgy

29 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Holidays, Liturgy, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Communion, Communion Liturgy, Easter, Easter Communion, Easter Communion Liturgy, Easter Morning, Liturgy, non-violent Communion, progressive Christianity, Resurrection

bread

SERVICE OF COMMUNION

Invitation
One: On this day, we celebrate the risen Christ
Many: On this day, we celebrate resurrection in our lives.
One: On this day, we embrace the grace which reaches from the tomb.
Many: On this day, we embrace faith by committing to love in action.
One: On this day, we shout Hallelujah!
Many: On this day we shout, Christ is risen!  Alleluia!

Prayer of Communion
One: It is through our neighbors and creation that we see the rising of Christ, O God.

Creator of Our Earth: We celebrate the shifting of seasons from one to the next.  As the earth sheds its snow, it begins to drink in the warm rains and creation comes alive once again.

And so in this spirit of brightness and life, we celebrate.  We celebrate the risen Christ in our midst.  We celebrate the table in which we can join together with friends and strangers, loved ones and enemies.

Through this meal which has stood the test of time, we covenant to love you, God.   We covenant to love as Jesus the Christ loved us- loving our neighbors as ourselves.  Through a simple meal of grain and grape, we, your children, unite.

As we enter this season of Easter, we ask that the warm winds of the Spirit encircle this table and accompany us on our journey.  May this Spirit help us to recognize the Christ-presence in our midst.  May the Spirit open our souls in order for us to see humanity, God and creation through the eyes of Jesus.

It was Jesus who introduced this meal to his followers.  Even though Jesus knew he would be betrayed and deserted by those at this supper, he still continued to join them at the table, sharing time and space with whom he grew closest.

As the night lengthened, Jesus took a simple portion of bread.  He blessed it and broke it, and shared it with the disciples.  He urged them: Remember me.

Afterwards, Jesus took the cup.  During his blessing, Jesus reminded them how he would go to the ends of the earth in his love for them.

Today, we celebrate this earth-shaking love of Jesus – a love that sent him to the cross and a love that lives eternally with us, encouraging us to live a resurrected life.

The Bread of Life and the Cup of the Covenant: Gifts to unite the Body of Christ.

Distribution of Elements

Prayer of Thanksgiving
Through this space and time together today, we celebrate the covenant that ties us with God, Jesus the Christ, our neighbors and creation.  Thank you, Divine Crafter of the Table, for fashioning us a holy meal unites us with the Body of Christ.  Send us into the world resurrected, refreshed and ready to share Christ’s unconditional love.  Amen.

 

Written by Rev. Michelle L. Torigian.  Please feel free to use in your faith communities with attribution.

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All Saints Sunday Communion Liturgy

30 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by mictori in grief, Life, Liturgy, Pop

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

All Saints, All Saints Day, All Saints Sunday, Communion, Communion Liturgy, grief, progressive Christianity, Totenfest

homemade bakery cereal full sight bun

Invitation to Communion

Siblings in Christ, join me today at this table to a feast belonging to Jesus the Christ.  Siblings in Christ, join me today for a feast which will comfort our souls.  Siblings in Christ, join me in this sacrament knowing that we will grow close to God, neighbor, and self at this table.

Prayer of Communion

Friends, we come to this bittersweet ritual today filled with a bundle of emotions.  While our gratitude for this family of faith is plentiful, our spiritual pain still may be suffocating us at five weeks or four months or three years or even two decades after the death of our beloved.

Our pews are a little lighter.  Our homes are a quieter.  And our hearts know well of the gaping hole resulting from our loss.

Even as this void still consumes this day-to-day living, we come here looking for hope that we can find only in you.  Through this meal, we connect the past and present together, knowing that generation after generation has come to this table in their joy and grief.

God, we pray that this feast be one that fills our souls with comfort.  Even as winter is growing close and nighttime arrives early, this meal will kindle warmth and light inside our spirits.

May your Holy Spirit bless this bread and cup.  May the Spirit bless us as we celebrate at the peaks of life and as we abide in the shadow-filled valleys.  May the Spirit bring us the peace that will permeate our grief-coated hearts.  And may the Spirit use this time and space to remind us that we are never alone in our difficult spaces.

With his friends, Jesus shared his last communion before death.  The group recognized the sacred in their gathering and celebrated their friendship and their community of faith.

One more time, Jesus took the bread and blessed it.  In his breaking of the bread, Jesus yearned for them to remember his teachings and their times together.  “Whenever you eat this bread, remember me.”

One more time, after supper, Jesus took the cup and blessed it as well.  In his grasping of the cup, Jesus yearned for his followers to recall their times together.  “Whenever you drink of this cup, remember me.”

As we join together for this meal, let us remember with gratitude our loved ones who once ate at this table and many other tables with us.  While they no longer abide with us here today, help us to recognize that they are a part of the great cloud of witnesses, celebrating eternity with our Creator.

May this meal be a gift to each of our souls today.

Unison prayer of Thanksgiving

We express our gratitude for this meal, Divine Host.  We give thanks for the times we spent with our loved ones here at this table, and we thank you that this table is a reminder of our love for you, God.  Accompany us into the world with peace in our hearts and strength in the days to come.  Amen.

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A Communion Liturgy for Pentecost

01 Thursday Jun 2017

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Holidays, Liturgy, Pop

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Communion, Liturgy, Music, Pentecost, progressive Christianity

dark-fire-hot-black

Service of Communion

Invitation

One: Come to this table
Where bread and cup are transformed by the Spirit of God
Into a meal of love and grace
A supper of visions and dreams
A table where all souls are welcome.

Prayer of Communion

Loving God
Whose Divine Lungs exhaled the Spirit into our World
Your breath continues to transform our world
From the still to the stirring.

Before the earth was formed
The Spirit of God swirled through voids and shadows.

As humans were created
The air of God filled the lungs of Adam
And the soul of Eve.

This Divine Air
Continues to fill us up
When our bones are dry and spirits are sluggish.

On this day of Pentecost
When we celebrate the breath of the Spirit coming upon the disciples
We invite the Spirit to come upon these elements.

God of winds, pour out your Spirit to make the elements come alive for us.
Make this meal awaken our sleepy hearts and stagnant souls.

May this time of eating and drinking be one
where we stir from our sadness and rise from our hopelessness.

May we begin to celebrate visions
And animate the dreams that have only been alive in our minds.

As we share this meal,
Let us remember our siblings in faith who came to this table

In decades and centuries past
And our children who will surround this table in the future.
Each generation uniquely celebrates your presence, Spirit of Life.

The night before Jesus died was a solemn time around the table.
Breaking bread.  Drinking from the cup.
Jesus asking to remember him in our eating and drinking.

There was a time to mourn followed by a time to dance.

After the day of resurrection
The disciples ate on the beach with the risen Christ
Celebrating new life, new hope, new vitality.

On this Pentecost, as we come to the table,
let us celebrate the Spirit of Resurrection
And the promise of a needed second-wind in our own lives.

Let us partake of this celebratory meal together.

Distribution of Elements

Unison Prayer of Thanksgiving

Spirit of God, who fed the multitudes, provided the manna in the wilderness, and blessed the elements, we give great thanks for the meal eaten and the company surrounding us.

Inspire us as we move forward this day and encourage us to transform our dreams into reality.  Amen.

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The Pastor’s Tale

10 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Social Justice

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Clergy, Clergy women, Clergywomen, Communion, dystopia, dystopian, The Handmaid's Tale, Women's Ordination, Women's Rights

hideAs I stood at the communion table on Sunday morning, what breezed through my mind was a world in which I could no longer be a pastor because of my gender.  I suppose this came to my mind since I had been watching The Handmaid’s Tale and reading various news stories about women.  I worried about the end of pastoral opportunities for women.  And so, I bring you this piece of pastoral dystopia.

*****

I was beginning to become flushed again.  Middle-aged and hot flashes.  But, of course, no air conditioning in the house we were abiding within.

We were just happy to be there – happy to be living with our sisters in Christ.  We were delighted to be able to spend time laughing together – talking about our clergy stories and anecdotes of life in and out of the pulpit.  We were living in a time when we could be completely ourselves and, yet, continuously on edge that something devastating could be happening in the next few minutes.

They might find us.  They might find us and kill us.

My dad was my government teacher.  Now, I was only a teenager at that point, so I don’t remember everything.  But what I do remember was that my dad told us in class that he would be one rounded up and killed under some regimes.

Why?  Because he was an agent of change.  He spoke about politics and government.  And he wanted us to think for ourselves.

Fortunately, that was thirty years ago, and he was able to freely practice his calling as a teacher-

And only thirty years later, I wish I had that same freedom.

I became a pastor in my late thirties after sensing a calling ten years earlier.  The beauty of my ordination day was being able to stand at the table and boldly claim the words of Christ…

“On the night before he died… he took the bread… he took the cup…”

What a moment in my life to be celebrated.  Finally, I was able to live fully into my calling.

But less than a decade later, things began to change.  More women were being laid off from jobs- fired, thanks to the fundamentalists in power.  More propaganda drove the importance of women birthing children.  “Women shall be saved through childbearing” was the mantra we heard over and over.

I wasn’t called to be a mother.  I thought that was my path at one point, but then my fallopian tubes twisted and turned.  Meeting the “right guy” didn’t happen until close to perimenopause anyway, so the chance of babies happening were decreasing with every breath.

And while I was mostly content with the way life turned out, hearing them chant the mantra over and over again was a knife through my heart.

Are we more than our uteruses?  That’s what we would ask ourselves.  I felt like I was no more than one or two organs in my body.

Number forty-six became president just a little before I turned forty-six.  And I was out on the streets protesting his every word and every act.  He was a “good Christian man” according to some of our colleagues.  Morality was his focus.  Making families great again was his vision and his mission.  He wanted women to be baby-making Stepford Wives… submissive, subservient, and silent.

And this was not who I was or who I was called to be.  I was more than my uterus and milk ducts.

I considered moving to Canada to find a pastoral position there, but many women were doing the same, so the chance of finding a job was minimal.

Eventually, mine name was put on a list – along with the names of fellow female clergy.  We were the enemy.  We had said too much and protested too often.  We were responding to the call of God to oppose the current theocratic system in place.

I didn’t know what to do.  I was in a constant state of anxiety – especially losing my agency after being so independent.  I kissed my loved ones goodbye, because I knew they would find me with them.

And I went underground with my sisters of the cloth.

Some were very pregnant with their own child, but since their names were on the list, they too were enemies of the state.  Others of us were heading into our peri- or menopausal years.  We knew one another well.  We knew that we were more than our wombs and were willing to live in a community that cherished our agency.

We weren’t sure what forty-six’s administration did with the women clergy they caught.  Were they dead?  Were they forced into marriages?  What about our lesbian sisters – were they able to love their spouses freely anymore, or were they sent to camps?

If they caught us, where would we go?  The camps?  Prison?  Would we be tried and killed?

This was our fear.  Every day.

And yet we comforted each other every day.  We sang songs, talked about our great loves, the adventures we had pre-ministry and even some during our clergy days.  We would binge watch the DVD shows smuggled into the safe house.  A couple of our clergy brothers would bring us what we needed a couple of times per week, but otherwise, we weren’t exiting our current abode.

The one ritual we made sure to embrace was communion.  Each night, right before retiring to our corners of the home, we would bring out a few pieces of bread.  And every night we would take turns repeating the words that Jesus gave us – right when he was about to be captured.  We knew that if we were captured we would follow in the steps of Jesus the Christ as we were faithful to the end.

Tonight was my night to lead.  Would this be the last time I spoke the words of institution?  Would they be coming for us tomorrow like they did with Jesus?  Would I be ripped from this space and forced into a life where I couldn’t say those words again?

On the night before Jesus died, he took the bread and broke it…

Lifting the break and tearing it apart, I wondered if my body would be torn to pieces.

Likewise, after supper, Jesus took the cup and blessed it…

I passed it around, knowing that we could all be drinking from the same cup of Christ because of our choices to remain faithful to our calling and to God.

As the drops of juice filled my mouth and I swallowed it, a tear slid down my face.  It wasn’t the only tear in the room, and I didn’t feel the need to hide it.  We were in the valley of the shadow of death, and I still feared evil.  I may sense the presence of God next to me, but much of the Body of Christ wanted to amputate us, discarding us into a wasteland they created from their distorted relationship with the Divine.

At least tonight – maybe for the last time – we were once again given a table in the presence of our enemies, remembering the boldness of Jesus the Christ.

 

*****

Note that I want to add a short while after publishing this post:

I wrote this from my perspective which is still very privileged. But I don’t want to forget about the people who were not able to get ordained because of their sexual orientation, gender identity, or race and whose standing was taken away because of their sexual orientation. We should be working every day to ensure that all people are able to freely live into their callings.

 

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