Category Archives: Current Events

Saying No in the Era of #YesAllWomen

28 Wednesday May 2014

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February 1992. I was eighteen years old in my freshman year of college. My friends introduced me to a really cute guy who was about a year or two older. We all hung out talking until around midnight. He then walked me back to my dorm room and gave me a kiss.

Alright. He’s cute. He’s sweet. I hope i hear from him…

The next evening, he calls. He asks me to go out. I didn’t feel like spending time with him that evening, so I politely declined. “You will go out with me,” he demands.

Excuse me? “No,” I replied.

He just couldn’t take no for an answer.

Eventually, we ended the phone conversation. I felt extremely vulnerable at that moment. Thoughts continued to cycle throughout my mind. What if he comes after me? What would this confrontation look like, and would I be safe? Fortunately, I found way to hang out with other friends that evening, away from campus – what I perceived to be a safer space.

Frankly, on that very evening, anywhere where he could not find me was safe.

*****

May 1992. I was nineteen years old finishing my freshman year of college. I was sitting in the library at my college trying to study when a man around my age came up to talk with me.

I was trying to brush him off – at this point I had another boyfriend. But he continuously asked for my number – over and over and over again. To him, it didn’t matter that I was in a relationship with another person.

Finally, I relented. I gave him my dorm room phone number and left the conversation.

A while later, he called me. I pretended that I was my roommate and told Whatshisname that I wasn’t home. He never called back.

But could he ever find me?

*****

Summer 1992. I was still nineteen years old between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I was driving on Route 159 in Swansea, Illinois when a guy in the next car at the stoplight locked eyes with me.

It’s always awkward to lock eyes with anyone in nearby cars. But this one had another agenda.

I started driving once the stoplight turned green. He then followed me.

No matter how fast I drove, he drove. He continuously tried to get my attention. But my attention was focused on working to lose him.

Block after block, he kept up. Then, I saw an upcoming street. At this point he was in the next lane and keeping up with my driving. I quickly turned down the road without giving any indication that I was making that move. He continued to drive on Route 159.

But what if I couldn’t figure out a way to lose him?

*****

These three stories happened to me over the course of six months. Understand that I could continue to write story after story about the varying types of harassments I’ve experienced in 23 years – from catcalls to mindgames to unwanted touching.

Now, I’m not talking about the guy who kindly asks me out even though I’m not interested. I’m talking the kind of behavior when I feel every type of red alarm has gone off and my gut is giving me a bad vibe – the guy who keeps pressuring me even though I continuously say “no.” There are many authentically nice guys out there. (I know since I’m dating one of the nice guys.) However, from personal experience, I can tell that 100% of the men in our society do not treat women as equals, and this type of controlling attitude and entitlement needs to stop. They think they can follow us, pressure us and guilt us into falling for them.

Our society encourages us to be “good girls.” Never say no. Be accommodating. The problem with being the good girl is that the controlling boys like to find us. They like to drain us of any self-esteem we may still have in our souls.

The story of Vashti always resonates with me when it comes to a woman who stood up for her body, mind and soul. She refused to be paraded around like an object by her husband King Xerxes (Ahasuerus) who then, probably, banished her from his life. It was a risked she was willing to take as she didn’t want to be objectified and controlled by men.

It takes years for us to find that confidence to realize we deserve better than all of this. We do not deserve to be paraded around or required to give in to a man’s desires each time he asks.

So when I think of this mass killing spree in Santa Barabara, I think of the way that men have felt entitled to the bodies, minds and souls of women since the Hebrew Bible – from Vashti to Tamar, the daughter of David who was raped by her brother.

When I see the spirit of women on social media this week and the many men who support us, I realize that maybe there’s hope in this conversation. Maybe there will be one less man who demands a date or sex, one less man who chases a woman or one less woman who feels pressured to give out her personal information.

Let’s find ways to stand together, girls and women of all ages. Let’s find a way to help each other feel safe even when we’ve felt violated. We deserve to be given the dignity that God has given each of us – as we are made in the image of our Creator, too.

Never Orphaned – A Memorial Day Prayer

19 Monday May 2014

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Gerry J. Gilmore [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons U.S.: Army Col. Carolyn Jones prepares to place some rose petals into the reflecting pool at the Women in Military Service for America Memorial’s annual Memorial Day observance, Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, Va., May 26, 2008.

Never Orphaned – A Memorial Day Prayer
Based on John 14

For the families who have been torn apart by war-
You are not orphaned.
For the wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends wondering how their loved one will return-
You are not orphaned.
For the child who barely knows her father,
And for the child who lost his mother-
You are not orphaned.
For the mothers and fathers who receive the news of their child’s injury or demise,
And for the courageous who lost a piece of their body, soul or mind in battle-
You are not orphaned.

In a world torn apart by war,
In a world where conflict rides heavy,
And where we wonder how we’ll make it through another day-
God is here.

Encircling us in every moment is the peace which Christ left with us.
The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, bringing us comfort to make it until the next moment
To make it one day, one hour or one minute at a time.

And so we love.
We love those who return fragmented, traumatized by what they have seen
Or what they’ve had to do to survive.

We love those who no longer know how to relate to their spouse
After months of deployment, wondering how their marriage will survive.

We love those who long to see their loved one
After six months and a third deployment.

We love those who have external and internal wounds from wars
Ten, twenty, forty or seventy years ago.

Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.
For wherever you abide, God is there.
Wherever you journey, the Divine walks with you.
And so do we.

Christ’s peace is left with us. Christ peace continuously is given to us.
Do not be afraid. Do not let your hearts be troubled.
Never will you be orphaned.

Written by Rev. Michelle L. Torigian

Between Childless and Child-free

10 Saturday May 2014

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IMG_3660In the past number of years I have felt a range of feelings one may feel being childless on Mother’s Day.  Granted, I am truly grateful for my own mom, my grandmas and those who have been mom-like to me.  I cheer with those who have chosen to be moms and have enjoyed holding your babies as they have seen their first few months.

And I’ve faced the childlessness that I never expected to experience.  I have moved from a place of sadness that comes with childlessness to a new type of limbo – – navigating the place of being childless and child-free.

Now that I’ve crossed the threshold into my forties, I realize how giving birth to a child and caring for an infant would impact my life.  Because of my own body changes, I don’t know if I could conceive, if I could carry a child to term, if I could live with one to two hours of sleep per night.

Many of of my friends’ experiences have opened my eyes.  Twenty years ago, I would not have seen miscarriage after miscarriage.  Years of grief post-stillborn.  Weeks in the hospital or in bed hoping to carry the baby to term.  One to two hours of sleep per night.  Health changes post-baby.

Before the age of 40, I never had the right significant other with whom to raise a child.  I never had enough income to live semi-comfortably raising a baby on my own.

I still do not.

I never thought I would be here: in a limbo state of childless/child-free post 40.  I remember freaking out in my twenties when thinking I would never have children.  If my 20 year old self could see myself today, she would be devastated.

And yet, at post-40, I’m not.

There’s a part of me that’s happily content in this childless/child-free limbo.  I sleep and eat as I want.  I follow my calling by God to mother to a congregation.  I experience the small moments in life without the distraction of others to take care of.

But I’m still just a little sad and not able to 100% embrace a permanent child-free state.

I’m sad I will never baptize my baby or feel the kicks inside of my womb.  I’m sad that I will never attend a parent-teacher conference or place a dollar under the pillow when my child’s tooth falls out or see the faces of my children on Christmas morning.  I’m sad that I am not part of the “mommies club” and that I sit on the outskirts of what is acceptable in our society.

I live in the childless/child-free limbo.  I can not see myself having a child at this point but there’s still a part of me that mourns never having a child.  I do not have the money or energy or stamina to pursue birthing a child or having an infant at this point.  With this post I publicly embrace that I live between two points: the childless woman who once wanted a child and a woman who is content with being child-free.  And I know that others still live in this rarely talked about limbo.  We are both blessed and grieved to this place where life has brought us.  We are still articulating where we are, and we don’t want others to name this place for us.

Please do not call me heartless because I may not want to have a child.  Please do not tell me that I may change my mind.  Please do not tell me that I do not know true love because I do not have a child.  Please do not tell me that there are plenty of ways to still become a mother.  Please do not assume I do not love children just because I have none, or that I don’t understand children.  Please do not think I sit and cry all of the time because life turned out a bit differently than expected.

And please do not tell me how I should feel on Mother’s Day.

Unfortunately, Mother’s Day is always on a Sunday.  Some pastors understand that Mother’s Day is sensitive to some women – they know that women experiencing a number of experiences related to motherhood need to be remembered in prayer.  And then there are other church leaders who think that those of us who still hold sadness in our unique reproductive losses should get over it.  Find a new way to celebrate.  Suppress our feelings for this one service just to go home to cry uncontrollably.

They don’t get it.  They don’t understand that Mother’s Day is not happy for everyone, and they expect us to feel a certain way.  It takes unchecked privilege to make such a bold statement – a privilege which excludes many of my childless friends… and even those of us who are working through our childless/child-free limbo.

I am trying to find a new way to celebrate.  But I’m not there yet.  Do not force me to be happy for someone else because the twenty-something piece of my soul still grieves.  But do not think that I live in a constant state of  grief either because I have a wonderful life with wonderful loved ones and friends.

So on Mother’s Day, even though I’m content with my life, I still have twinges of mourning.  And in those twinges, I sit in solidarity as I remember my friends who are painfully childless because of infertility.  I sit in solidarity with those who have lost children and experienced miscarriages.  And I ask that my other clergy friends remember those hurting on Mother’s Day as well.

Being a woman is more than a mother.  It’s being the person God calls us to be bringing love into the world.  I have moments of mothering, and I thank Mother God that I can fill that space from time to time.

May those of us in childless/child-free limbo, those of us who are mothers and those of us who cry because we aren’t find a way to validate each other.  Amen.

Proper Pastoral Care and Limiting Laws: the UCC and North Carolina

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

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IMG_2866Let me introduce myself…

I am a straight ally who left one denomination for the United Church of Christ (UCC) because of the marriage equality issue. Back in 2005, before I entered the ministry, I felt that I would be a stronger pastor and better reflect God’s light on the world by publicly supporting gay marriage and LGBT ordination. If I had to continue to bite my tongue every time someone asked me what I thought of gay marriage, I could not be an authentic person of faith. In leaving one denomination, I discovered that the United Church of Christ was a denomination who widely opened their arms to people of all sexual orientations and gender expressions and those of us who supported our friends.

In writing this post, I acknowledge that some of you reading this will not agree with my position on gay marriage. In fact, you may be a member of a United Church of Christ and still believe that a marriage is between one man and one woman. (Yes – we have many in our denomination who still believe in this view of marriage. The UCC is filled with people with a variety of perspectives. Being in covenant with one another, we worship God together even if we disagree.)

And then you read that the UCC has filed a lawsuit against the state of North Carolina. What does this mean? Here’s what it could mean to a pastor: with the state’s current law on marriage, a member of the clergy could face jail time if they were to perform a wedding ceremony without filing a certificate for marriage. The clergy member would have to hold back their belief on marriage and religion based on what the state is dictating. Technically, a law like this could open doors which would limit other rituals or care that a pastor deems spiritually necessary.

Think of it this way…

What if there was a law that said that I as your pastor could only do hospital visits Monday through Friday? What if I couldn’t visit you in the hospital as you lay dying on a Saturday? What if you couldn’t have the peace of a pastoral presence in your final few hours because the law told me otherwise?

What if there were laws restricting churches to baptizing people over the age of 12? No child is allowed to be baptized for any reason – including children who may be in hospice care.

What if there was a law that said only men could be ordained? If a church were to hold an ordination ceremony for a woman, those involved would go to prison for two to three months.

What if an elderly man and woman wanted to have a marriage ceremony before God and their families but did not want a legal ceremony in order to protect their estates?

What if your beloved pet dies, and you yearn for closure. However, there was a law in your state that only allowed for humans to have funerals. Any funeral-like ritual that would be held for a pet would be considered illegal, and I could be arrested for giving you the best care possible.

I do not want to be told that I can’t or that I must perform a certain ritual that would bring peace to your lives.

By filing this lawsuit, the United Church of Christ is still not indicating that all members agree or must agree with marriage equality. We will never be a denomination that forces our members or churches to agree on an issue. Instead, I defer to this statement by the Indiana-Kentucky Conference of the United Church of Christ:

For us, as one of the founding religious traditions of this nation, the principle of free exercise of religion is a paramount value. Because we are not a hierarchical church, the freedom of every clergyperson to conduct the rites and sacraments of the Church according to the dictates of conscience is essential to our identity and our faith practice.

The church is protecting our autonomy as individuals and churches within the covenant of our denomination. Through this lawsuit, they are advocating on behalf of your religious freedom. And they are advocating for my religious freedom too. They care about your relationship to God, and they do not want your pastor to have government-forced limitations in the way they give pastoral care. Donald Clark Jr., general counsel of the UCC expressed “We didn’t bring this lawsuit to make others conform to our beliefs, but to vindicate the right of all faiths to freely exercise their religious practices.”

I’m not sure about all of you, but I deeply want to practice my faith based on my relationship with God.

This lawsuit will never force you to believe in marriage equality. It will not force a pastor to perform a same-sex wedding. It won’t force you to love your neighbor who happens to be gay – no matter how much Jesus loves them. You do not have to go to the wedding or even wish them congratulations. The only thing a ruling in favor of this lawsuit will do is continue to protect all of our freedoms so that we may practice our faith as we see fit.

Granted, rituals that hurt another person or oneself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) should continue to be restricted. But a ceremony that includes two people freely making a covenant with one another and presided by an officiant who freely believes in the ritual hurts no one. It is not taking the rights away from anyone else. It’s bringing peace and love into the hearts of the couple and those who are actively part of their lives. I truly believe it spreads more love into our communities.

With this lawsuit, the United Church of Christ still does not talk on behalf of the churches. Instead, the denomination talks to the churches, offering another way of looking faith and expanding the way Christ moves in our world.

Embracing Ted’s Journey: Spiritual Lessons From How I Met Your Mother

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

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Josh Radnor – Wikimedia Commons

Note: This article contains spoilers.

In nine seasons of  How I Met Your Mother, we’ve seen the peaks and valleys in the life of Ted Mosby. The series finale created mixed feelings in the dedicated fans.

Realizing some time ago that the mother may be meeting an early demise, I tried to come to terms that Ted’s roller coaster life may not be settling. Instead, I chose to find the broken beauty in Ted’s journey, embracing spiritual lessons to help us find God’s presence in each of our valley-filled lives.

To everything there is a season…
The first scene in season six pans to the sign in front of the church: “to everything there is a season.” Ecclesiastes 3 indicates that being human brings with it many highs and lows: life and death, mourning and dancing, love and hate. This series and specifically the final episode showcases the roller coaster of life. As the themes of new love, divorce, birth and death are weaved into this episode, we are reminded that seasons come and go for everyone.

Every once in a while, God calls us to leave the past behind.
In season seven, Ted and Robin nearly rekindle their romance once again. When Ted realizes that it’s not going to happen, he determines that he needs to make a firm break between him and Robin. Ted realizes any lingering possibility in a relationship with Robin can’t continue if he wants to find happiness.

As the wife of Lot turns into a pillar of salt when turning around to see what’s behind her (Genesis 19), we too can become locked into a moment of life or an unhealthy relationship. When a situations clouds our lives and dominates our emotions, sometimes it’s best for us to walk away. In order to move forward in a new direction, we will take this drastic step, embracing the pain that comes with it. There’s a possibility that God is calling us to find new life in a completely different direction.

Looking for love is often like traveling through a wilderness.
After seeing his closest friends Marshall and Lily find love with one another in their late teens, Ted continues the journey. He even watches his former love marry one of his best friends. At one point or another during these nine seasons, we’ve become impatient with Ted’s story just as we become impatient with our own.  Will Ted find his happy ending?

It’s hard to watch a seven year journey of someone looking for love or achieving a dream. In the series finale, Lily acknowledges Ted’s difficult course in the final episode: “…a man with more emotional endurance than anyone I know. It was a long difficult road… Thank God we finally got here.”

And Ted narrates the same sentiment about his path: “At times it was a long and difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom I knew I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can and I can not stop loving her not even for a second.”

The Exodus story of wilderness is one that resonates with us no matter what our era. There are destinations along this path, but the journey is in some ways more valuable. In any of our lives, there is no definite “happily ever after.” But there are happy moments embedded into our tragedies, and there is sadness intertwined with our joy.

It’s the people around us in the wilderness that makes life bearable. 
As Biblical stories of exile and wilderness fill our faith, our personal journeys include many people who never deserted us as we traveled through our own exiles. Without dedicated friends like Marshall, Lily, Barney and Robin, Ted’s long exile in the dating wilderness may not have been so bearable. In our own times of exile, who has stood by us or journeyed along side of us?

When it comes to love, never settle. Take the long road.
Song of Solomon 3:1-2 states “Upon my bed at night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer.” The narrator asks in verse three, “have you seen him whom my soul loves?” In this spirit, Ted continues to search for this love on his journey.

Devastating losses of Robin, Victoria, Stella, Zoe and more, Ted continues on his path, until he meets the ideal partner, Tracy. As Song of Solomon 3:5 says “do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready!”

More than anything else, How I Met Your Mother is a story of hope.
Christianity as well as other faiths embraces the story of hope even in the midst of the desert. Ted’s story is one of resilience. And sometimes our narratives of resilience need to be told, whether the story is in the sixth century BCE, first century CE or today and whether we are writing it in a book or telling the tale to our children.

Ted’s story reminds us of many of our own paths. We live, we fall and we get back up again. The story of our lives is similar in many ways. We experience extravagant grace and surprising resurrections along the way.

So as many of us are saddened by the ending of this show and devastated on how it ended, know that the human life experience is not one of fairy tales and people living happily ever after, but one of peaks and valleys. It’s a story where God’s love pursues us- no matter where we are in our tale.

Mary, Gloria and Our Voices

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

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Jungfrau der Verkündigung

I was having lunch with a priest colleague of mine today, who reminded me of the significance of today.  “It’s the annunciation,” said the priest. The church calendar remembers the day Mary accepted God’s call.

As Protestants, Mary doesn’t usually receive her due in our arena of Christianity.  She shows up in Advent and Christmas, when the lectionary text includes the wedding at Cana and as Jesus suffers in his final hours.

However, this is a woman who was sure to influence her son.  So very little is said about this woman, but what mother doesn’t make an impression on her children?  I would like to believe that the ministry of Jesus and his strong convictions not only came directly from God but also came from Mary and Joseph.

So the annunciation is the day empowering the life and works of Mary.  It was the day Mary made her choice.  When she was called to birth a savior, she chose yes.  She risked the well-being of her life to carry a baby outside the confines of marriage.  Through her power of choice, she accepted the call to birth a person and, in many ways, a movement.

I also find it ironic that March 25 is not only the Annunciation in the church but the birthday of the mother of modern feminism: Gloria Steinem.

Gloria has spent decades remembering the voices of women, empowering women to make choices for their own lives – including reproductive choices.  Through her time working tirelessly for the cause of women’s equality, she delivered women from the oppressive systems of the past and opened doors to the impossible.  Through her call to leadership, she was the midwife in the rebirth of a movement.

Out of any day of the year, I look at March 25 as the Day of Women’s Empowerment.  From Mary to Gloria to all of us, we are given choices – more than ever before.  This is a day to celebrate our power – a power gifted to us by our Mother God.

So as we wait for the Supreme Court to decide whether corporations can control the choices of women and as we watch more and more states come up with laws that try to control our bodies (including the imprisonment of women who give birth to stillborn babies), let us hope that God sends us new prophets to deliver us from controlling powers that be.

Using the Bible to Strengthen Women on International Women’s Day

08 Saturday Mar 2014

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“Beloved Disciple” in the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene; by El Greco ca. 1580

Many in our society and world use the Bible to tear down women, ensure women have certain roles and use women’s bodies as they please.

They refer to the story of Adam and Eve when noting that women were responsible for the downfall of humans.

They use Eve’s missteps as a way of saying that women should be in pain during her pregnancy or any reproductive issue.

They overlook the part of the story when Lot offers his daughters as sexual goods, and they believe that women’s bodies are not our own.

They look at the story of Jacob and his two wives, or Abraham with his wife and concubine, and they think it’s okay for women to fight over men and for women to make each other jealous.

They take the story of Jephthah’s daughter as a story of obedience instead of a story of child abuse.

They look at David’s sin as having an affair with Bathsheba instead of ogling her and using his power to seduce her. 

They use Proverbs 31 as a way to keep a woman as a subservient type of wife and mother.

They take Hosea’s account of God using “whore” for a woman as permission to call women whatever names they want.

They say that since only men were Jesus’ disciples, only men can be true leaders in faith.

They use 1 Timothy 2 to keep women quiet in faith, giving all power in churches to men.

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m tired of this.  I’m exhausted from having to hear that women deserve pain because of a stories written thousands of years ago.  I’m tired of hearing women called slut, whore and other horrifying words in an attempt to control or demean them.  I’m disgusted at television shows where women fight over a man or continuously bicker with each other.  I do not want to feel less than human or a woman because I don’t have children or I’m not married, and I don’t want to be told that I’m sinful because I’m a female leader in faith.

Instead, let’s join together to use Scripture to strengthen women and stand for their rights.

Let’s remember that Paul recognized Phoebe and Lydia as women leaders in the church every time Christians use 1 Timothy to quiet women.

Let’s take the story of Mary Magdalene rushing out of the garden after the resurrection as a woman being the first one called to share the good news.

Let’s take the story of Proverbs 31 woman as an empowered women who is full of wisdom, takes care of her family and stands for justice in her community.

Let’s take the story of Vashti not as a disobedient wife but as a women who stood up to the patriarchy and her body being used by powerful men.

Let’s take the story of the Syrophoenician woman as one who stood up to Jesus to make sure her family had their needs met.

Let’s take the stories of the woman with the hemorrhage and Judah’s daughter-in-law Tamar as ones where women stand up for their reproductive health and rights.

Let’s take the story of Zelophehad’s daughters as one who stand for their financial rights.

Christianity does not have to be a religion that reduces women but can be one that strengthens the lives of women all over the world.  Let’s remember the verses and narratives that empower us as we bring liberating words of hope to women, finding ways to strengthen their body, mind, soul and voice.

Our Ideal Selves… Transfiguration Sunday

02 Sunday Mar 2014

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This post is based on the text Matthew 17:1-9.

Lupita Nyong’o

Tonight, those of you watching the Academy Awards, or Oscars, will see someone nominated for one of her first roles: Lupita Nyong’o.  For those who may not know, she is a supporting actress in the movie 12 Years a Slave.  Lupita’s parents were from Kenya, and she is of Luo descent.

Recently, Lupita was awarded the Best Breakthrough Performance by Essence magazine.  When receiving the award, she gave a very moving speech on the beaming dark color of her skin.

When we see African American women on television and in movies, we often see women who are extremely light-skinned.  Yet Lupita’s skin is darker than most women we see in the media.  Growing up, she was discouraged by her skin color, praying that God would change that part of her:

“I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. I put on the TV and only saw pale skin, I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. The morning would come and I would be so excited about seeing my new skin that I would refuse to look down at myself until I was in front of a mirror because I wanted to see my fair face first. And every day I experienced the same disappointment of being just as dark as I was the day before. I tried to negotiate with God, I told him I would stop stealing sugar cubes at night if he gave me what I wanted, I would listen to my mother’s every word and never lose my school sweater again if he just made me a little lighter. But I guess God was unimpressed with my bargaining chips because He never listened.”

Eventually, through the slowly changing image on television, Lupita began to see beauty in a very different way.  She said “finally, I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to be… What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and for those around you.  That kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul.”  Lupita radiates as she smiles and presents her authentic self wherever she goes.

If we watch the pre-Oscar Red Carpet tonight, we’ll see people who look like everyone else attending.  Most people will be white.  Overall, women are required to be thin.  The ideal is lighter skin, unless you are a pale white woman, and then you need a spray tan.  Men need to be tall.  They are allowed to age a little more gracefully, whereas women in Hollywood are almost required to cover up the gray.

Undoubtedly, we are in a culture where there is an ideal race, gender, sexual orientation, class level, religion and even marital status.  We hold those standards often forgetting that the image of God abides in those who look and act differently than we do.

Today is Transfiguration Sunday, the day we recall the story of Jesus radiating on the top of a mountain.  It also marks the end of Epiphany, a season which begins with the magi finding the light of Christ and ends on a mountaintop with a beaming Christ.  Epiphany is a season that helps us to recall that the light is among us, whether in an infant child, on the top of a mountain or within us, as we are the light of the world.

The definition of transfigure is to “transform into something more beautiful or elevated.”  Jesus, a seemingly ordinary man, has a face begins to shine before his followers.  The disciples present, Peter, James and John, see this overcoming beauty and want to keep “beaming Jesus” on that pedestal or in an elevated state.  But Jesus knew that’s not where he beamed the most.  It’s not where he was the most beautiful, and that light radiating on the mountain needed to be spread around, not just kept far from others.

He radiated the most as he gave dignity to the marginalized, healed the sick and fed the multitudes.  Jesus was his most ideal self when he was serving the children of God.

However, I believe the Gospels give us a story of a Jesus who wasn’t perfect when it came to his perception of others.  Remember story of the Syrophoenician woman (or, as Matthew’s Gospel refers to her, the Canaanite woman)?   His disciples had such disdain for this woman who was greatly concerned for her daughter.  Even Jesus questioned her background and pretty well referred to her as a dog.  In the face of Jesus, she stood up for herself, her value and dignity.  I believe Jesus’ greatest transfiguration was the moment that he could see the Canaanite woman for the beautiful person she was – even though she wasn’t of Jewish descent like him.  In his transformation, he was a light to the Canaanite woman in front of him.

One of my favorite texts in scripture is 1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face.  Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I am fully known.”

On this side of heaven we can’t see people in the way God sees them.  We can’t see ourselves in the ways God sees us.  So we create much heartache in judging others and ourselves through our human eyes.  In every part of my soul, I believe that on that side of heaven, when we can experience God in our fullest, we will see everyone’s best selves.

Maybe it’s time we stop thinking that one type of race, religion, gender, orientation or class is more beautiful and transfigured than another.  Maybe it’s time to stop judging others because God knows every single cell of their body and feeling in their heart.  Maybe who we think is a sinful or lazy person is the individual who God needs them to be right now.  Maybe it’s time for us to embrace what God was saying about Jesus – – that God is well pleased with all of us.

Sure, we all have growing edges.  We all have ways to improve ourselves.  It’s good to be aware of those ways and work towards correcting them.  But maybe what God is requiring of us is to work on ourselves, give ourselves abundant grace when we fall short and look through the lens of God’s eyes as we love our neighbors.

Because God loves us all so much for who are at this very moment.  God sees our ideal selves.

Our flaws could be some of the most beautiful parts about us.  We should look at ourselves as stunning no matter what size we are or what we’ve accomplished in life.  It’s time to affirm that our neighbors are beautiful no matter what their skin color, who they love, what type of work they do, how they identify with gender, how they celebrate the presence of God or how much money they have in the bank.

And in doing so, we will notice others glowing like the radiating Jesus on a mountaintop.

NFL Cheerleaders, First Ladies, Stay-at-Home Moms and Ethical Pay Scales

14 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Sports

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20140214-132924.jpgThis week, I heard of another case where an NFL cheerleader is suing the team for inadequate pay. This time, the cheerleader, Alexa Brenneman brought the suit as an individual as she claims that her pay equals that of $2.85 per hour ($5 less than Ohio’s minimum wage).

Even before this and the suit with the Raiderettes, I was concerned about this practice. When I was in my twenties and in much better shape, I had ever-so-briefly toyed around with the thought of auditioning the Buccaneers cheerleaders. I thought I remember that they made somewhere between $50-$100 per game. But then I read a 2003 article which notes that they receive no monetary compensation for ANY of their work or efforts – except they receive two tickets per game.

I tried to see how much money the cheerleaders make now, but could not find any numbers. But looking at their site now, I see that it even costs $40 to audition for a role of cheerleader. Plus, during the season, they are required to give 50 hours of charity work per season. Furthermore, it doesn’t take into account how much it costs to look the way an NFL cheerleader should look.

The NFL acts like it’s doing women a favor or something…

At the same time, the men are getting paid millions of dollars per season while the women only a couple or few thousand. Or, like the Buccaneer cheerleaders, they may make nothing. Granted, the men are competing in a sport where concussions are expected and life expectancy is short. But when the mascot makes twenty-some thousand per year to sixty-some thousand per year, getting paid a couple of thousand dollars to look good, be athletic and wear barely any clothing sounds entirely and completely off balance.

To hear an individual cheerleader or cheerleading team stands up for themselves is refreshing, especially when their work matters to an organization or corporation. (The Bengals organization makes approximately $1 million off of the work of the Ben-Gals cheerleaders.)

This issue reflects something larger in our society. First Ladies give many hours per week filling ambassador-like roles. Yet they receive no compensation. I often wonder if a First Lady could refuse the role and live a completely private life or work completely in her own position away from the White House. And if a man ever fills the role of “First Lady,” would they reconsider compensation rates?

And then there are many churches where the wife of the pastor is required to fill a role for – once again – no salary. Since stay-at-home parenting is predominantly completed by women, minimal to no thought is given to their compensation package and must rely solely on their spouse’s income.

But stay-at-home moms who are married and have a man taking care of them are heralded as heroes while stay-at-home moms who are single and must live on welfare are called “welfare queens” and “lazy.” I have the utmost respect for anyone who chooses this calling, whether they are married or not.

I clearly remember hearing Gloria Steinem say in one of her speeches that stay-at-home moms should get compensation for their work. And the reason is my next point…

Here’s the big issue: to our society, compensation is equivalent to value. When you make more money, you “matter” more. When you don’t make as much money, you matter less – unless you fill the societal proper role of your gender.

This is the exception: To our society, it’s ok if you make no money as long as you are a woman supporting a man – either his team, his fantasy, his role as leader, his job, etc. Apparently, that is reward in itself.

But what our culture forgets is that women and men are both made in God’s image and all are given gifts to make this world a strong place. When a woman works, her work is just as valuable as a man’s. And while it’s not my calling, even cheerleaders deserve the same respect and validation for their hard work as anyone else.

In reflecting upon this, I remember a story in scriptures that show women standing up for their fair share. Numbers 27 recalls the narrative of Zelophehad’s daughters who want their part of their father’s estate. Moses advocates on behalf of them, and God responds “Zelophehad’s daughters are right in what they are saying.”

And so are the NFL cheerleaders. Keep advocating for your fair share.

Between the Mountaintop and the Promised Land

19 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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IMG_2820One of my favorite genre of movies and literature involves dystopian communities or worlds.  Wikipedia defines dystopia as

“a community or society that is in some important way undesirable or frightening. It is the opposite of a utopia. Such societies appear in many artistic works, particularly in stories set in a future. Dystopias are often characterized by dehumanization, totalitarian governments, environmental disaster, or other characteristics associated with a cataclysmic decline in society. Dystopian societies appear in many sub-genres of fiction and are often used to draw attention to real-world issues regarding society, environment, politics, economics, religion, psychology, ethics, science, and/or technology, which if unaddressed could potentially lead to such a dystopia-like condition.”

I personally love to watch them because, for me, they are a filter, a pair of special lenses which allows all of us to see the gaps in our world.  Dystopian movies are creepy yet challenging.  They force me to analyze where my social status would be in their world and how I can bridge the gaps of injustices.

Last week, I watched the dystopian movie Elysium.  Throughout the story, there are two distinct living places – earth and an orbiting home in space called Elysium.  For those who can afford it, Elysium is a place where the rich live far away from the poor, a place where any disease and most injuries can be healed by a machine.  The humans on earth struggle to stay healthy, and they do not have access to such machines.  The people and corporations on Elysium use the much poorer people on Elysium to make a profit.  The people on earth are kept in check and even treated in a much harsher justice system than on Elysium.

As I watched the movie Elysium I wondered: Would I be on Elysium or on earth?  What would happen if everyone on earth had the same privileges as the humans on Elysium?  What would happen if people on our earth had the same basic privileges?

Another dystopian tale is The Hunger Games trilogy, and some of us went to see The Hunger Games:Catching Fire film in December.  In this story, their country is divided into 12 districts plus the capitol.  The people who live in the Capitol are not required to enter the games; however, the games are entertainment for them.  They live in excess with flowing food, entertainment and drink.  Their clothing and makeup style is surreal while those in the districts live in poverty and must fight to stay alive.

The Hunger Games makes me wonder: Which district would I live in, or would I live in the Capitol?  What would happen if everyone in the districts earth had the same privileges as the humans at the Capitol?

In our society, we think we’re so far ahead of the curve but there are so many “isms” like racism and sexism that keep the playing field far from equal.  I’m still getting to know the racial climate of Cincinnati, so I’m going to speak to my experience in St. Louis.  The areas of north city and north county are predominantly African American while the areas of south county and west county are predominantly white with west county being wealthy white people.  White flight still happens.  People fear when others of another color move into their neighborhood.  Instead of getting to know their neighbors, they only see color.

East St. Louis, just across the Mississippi River from St. Louis, was known for the white flight back in the 60’s and 70’s.  When I’ve driven through parts of East St. Louis in the past few years, it feels like it’s another country – one ravished by war and poverty.

Furthermore, my friends at Eden Seminary felt uncomfortable going off of campus as people of color were often pulled over in Webster Groves.  Even Webster Groves had unofficial segregation: a predominantly white area and predominantly African American area.  As I am white, segregation and discrimination wasn’t something that I experienced, so all seemed fine from my position.  By my seminary friends sharing their experiences and their fears of simply stepping off campus, my eyes opened to the area’s dreadful reality.

As this is the remembrance of Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, opportunities open up for us to reflect on racial justice issues.  I know this time of year gives me pause to ask myself how I could better stand up against unjust systems.  While I may not be intentionally a racist, I must still ask in what ways do my thoughts and life choices hurt people who are racial and ethnic minorities?  Are there things I could do to stand up against these unfair systems?  How are my sins of neglect and indifference hurting my neighbor with less privilege and the Body of Christ?

I thank God that in every generation, we have people who are willing to be prophets, to teach us how to better treat our neighbors.  They are willing to stand up to the unjust systems even to the point of death.  Of course, we have Jesus the Christ, the one who taught us how to love one another, how to risk when our surroundings are full of injustice and how to give dignity to the expendables in our society.

The prophets of the Hebrew Bible stood up for the poor, widows, orphans and aliens.  Throughout time, we’ve had people risk life and reputation to stand up for what they believe.  Recently, these modern prophets include Mahatma Ghandi, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King, Jr. whose birthday we celebrate this weekend.

Granted, because of the leadership by people like Martin Luther King, Jr., official segregation washed away with the Civil Rights Act.  Separate water fountains and restaurant counters ceased.  Schools were integrated.

But there’s still unofficial segregation as we see when areas are predominantly inhabited by one color or another, or when the poor must choose between medication and food or when women make nearly 30% less than men when working, segregation still happens.

Yet the story is not over.  There is still hope, a hope that Jesus saw in his lifetime and a hope that King preached about right before he died.  King closes his final sermon by saying the following:

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 34 is the text in which King’s speech is referring.  The day before he is assassinated, King gives this speech in support of sanitation workers who were striking in Memphis.  The end of the speech is haunting.  King is resonating with Moses at the end of Moses’ life.  Moses never makes it to the promised land, much like King

Instead, it’s Joshua who leads them to the promised land.

Just as King was like Moses, are we called to be like Joshua – leading people to the promised land?  Are we the ones called to be a true prophet and risk our lives to make sure all in our society have equality and dignity?

When I was thinking of a title, I originally decided to go with “Still on the Mountaintop.”  But I was wrong.  We’re so much farther than the mountaintop.  We’re miles past the mountaintop.  But we still have a ways to go to see a true new heaven and new earth, an actual promised land.  And when people will stop being abused or murdered because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender and sexual orientation, then we’ve gotten to the promise land.  We will have created the Kingdom of God of which Jesus often spoke.

Let’s learn from our history – whether it’s the history of this country or the history of humanity.  Let’s even learn from these crazy fictional dystopian stories by realizing that some people will always try to suppress the rights of others.  Humans often feel like someone needs to lose in order for them to succeed.  Maybe if we try to help all people succeed we will find our own success.  As it says in Jeremiah 29:7 “But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”

That’s the type of vision King had for us and that’s the type of vision Jesus had for all of God’s children.  There are no segregated neighborhoods.  People aren’t arrested or pulled over based on the color of their skin.

So here’s our challenge today – working together to usher in the new heaven and new earth that’s mentioned in Revelation 21.   We are called to usher in the promised land where all live together in love.  Let us seek the welfare for all of the Body of Christ.

Can you see this promised land?  We’re so close now… Close your eyes and listen to the Spirit of God inside of you… you will find it.