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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Category Archives: Life

Ted Lasso, World Mental Health Day, and My Story

10 Sunday Oct 2021

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, National Day Prayers, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety disorder, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, Panic attacks, Panic disorder, progressive Christianity, World Mental Health Day

Photo from https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/ted-lasso/
Photo from https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/ted-lasso/

Like many of you out there, I’ve become a fan of Ted Lasso. (I probably should say that I’m now a superfan of Ted Lasso, considering all of the times I’ve watched the series all the way through.) Ted provides a leadership that is constructive and encouraging of the team – from its owner to the players to all who work for the Richmond team.

There’s a piece of the story that I believe is crucial to write about today, World Mental Health Day. (Friends: this part might contain spoilers, so turn back now if you do not want to know what will happen before the end of season two.)

In the first season (or series, as it’s called in Britain), Ted has a panic attack one night during the team Karaoke event. The owner of the team talks him through his attack, supportive of his struggles from their early days together.

In the second season, Ted has another panic attack during a game. I’m not sure what brings this one on, and I don’t think it really matters to the viewers. The most important piece is that Ted has a panic attack and must face what is happening.

Ted begins to open up to the people closest to him that the reason he left the game was due to a panic attack. And one of his confidants (Nate!) discloses this anxiety event to the press. Up until that point, Ted’s mental health issue is not public knowledge. Yet, Ted decides that talking about it with the world is crucial to bringing an end to the stigma of mental health and sports. In fact, the entire season focuses on mental health, as Dr. Sharon Fieldstone helps out the Richmond players with their own struggles.

What a blessing the story has been for the movement towards mental health. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorders, I identified well with Ted’s journey. (I first wrote about my childhood journey here.) When Nate outs Ted’s panic disorder, I became very angry. “How could he do such a thing! It’s not his story!” I thought to myself. Nate attempted to discredit and shame Ted through sharing such personal information. I didn’t care how much Nate was struggling himself; I was extremely angry that a person used a health struggle to damage the reputation of another human being.

I suppose I felt embarrassed for Ted. I felt the shame that was surrounding him and that others imposed on him. And yet, when it comes down to it, why was there shame? Ted began to address the struggles. Ted went back to work the next day. Ted opened up and spoke about it to normalize the experience.

More people than we realize struggle with mental health issues. From anxiety to depression to personality disorders to being bipolar, many of our neighbors go through temporary and life-long struggles with mental health issues. But in our struggles, we feel alone. We feel like no one else is going through what we are enduring. I felt that way as I child and sometimes as I got older. But then people began to talk about it, and I spoke about it – not just to be transparent in my journey but to help someone else as they go through something similar. I give thanks for my friend Rev. Dr. Sarah Griffith Lund who has been an inspiration to me writing about my journey. I find her books Blessed Are the Crazy: Breaking the Silence About Mental Illness, Family, and Church as well as Blessed Union: Breaking the Silence about Mental Illness and Marriage incredibly important for progressive Christianity. Like Dr. Lund, I am encouraging of anyone enduring mental health issues to seek help through a counselor and medication as well as other self-care activities. And like Dr. Lund (and Ted Lasso!), I am open to sharing my story as well.

Again, you can read something I wrote years ago here. But also, I’ve written a chapter in the forthcoming book When Kids Ask the Hard Questions, Volume 2: More Faith-Filled Responses for Tough Topics (edited by Bromleigh McCleneghan and Karen Ware Jackson). This chapter includes encouragement for parents to seek help if their child has anxiety or any other mental health issue. Children or adults should not feel alone in their journey, and if I can help one person feel less alone, then sharing my story is well worth it. I highly encourage you to check out this book because of the myriad of topics included. Children and parents should never feel alone in any struggles.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:

“ ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

As I said in my previous post regarding my story:

Today, to use the phraseology of Paul, I boast of this weakness of mine.  I boast not from pride, but because I feel free and light in being able to tell my story.  I boast because I see the presence of God in my weakness, and my relationships with God and others have grown closer in this vulnerable state.  And that means, like Paul, seeking contentment in this very vulnerable moment and becoming transparent will hopefully bring strength to the entire body of Christ.

So today, on World Mental Health Day, I celebrate the stories of others who became a little vulnerable to be honest so that others feel less alone. And I celebrate my story – because it shows both my vulnerability and resilience, knowing through baby steps and the strength of God finding a wholeness is possible.

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A Prayer for Students Starting School, COVID-19 Style

20 Thursday Aug 2020

Posted by mictori in COVID Prayers, Life, Pop, Prayers, Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, Prayer, Prayers, remote learning, student prayers, students, teachers

pexels-august-de-richelieu-4260318

Creator God, source of all knowledge and wisdom-
In this unique era of our lives,
When laptops on kitchen tables
And masks in public spaces
Have become our norm,
We ask for blessing of our students.

Some of these young scholars will be learning in classrooms.
We pray for health in body, mind, and soul.
Bless their masks as they wear them from first bell to last.
Bless the air in the classrooms.  Bless their unusual recesses and lunchtimes.
May wellness be their companion.

Some of our learners are absorbing knowledge from new spaces-
Laptops instead of smartboards
Dining room tables instead of desks.
May their focus be great.
May connections grow between students and teachers
And students with one another.
We pray for health in mind, soul, and body.
Bless the energy in their homes, and the loved ones assisting them.

Bless the students navigating education
As they split their time between home and school-
Parents, grandparents and friends.
We pray for health in soul, mind, and body
We pray for the health of all their connections.
May their unique schooling inspire all of us to think outside of boxes.

Bless the parents wondering how to balance all of this.
The family members who are classmates and teachers in our current world.

Bless the teachers, staff, and administrators leading in this new realm of education.

Bless our communities as we work to stay well and reduce the spread of COVID-19.

May 2020 be the year in which we grow with you, God of wisdom.

Amen.

 

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A Prayer on a Bad News Day

07 Tuesday Jan 2020

Posted by mictori in Current Events, grief, Life, Pop, Prayers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Australia, bad news, bombing, Current Events, earthquake, fires, illness, Iran, Iraq, news, Puerto Rico

31461056-91EF-4664-96C1-2707BAE47C84.jpeg

God who fills the cracks in this world-
Today was a horrific news day.

As the world falls apart,
And our neighbors endure pain,
And hate spreads across our planet,
We lament, we weep, we cry for you.

Why have you forsaken us as the earth shakes?
Why have your children screamed words of hate?
Why have bombs and planes and so much else fallen?
Why do illnesses spread throughout our loved ones?

The news was heavy… no, suffocating.
Like the air from fires,
The dust from earthquakes,
The smoke from bombs,
And the fuel from planes.

So we look towards you in our confusion, our pain, our sadness.
We try to makes sense of things that won’t make sense anyway.
And we go to bed, shedding tears upon our pillows-

Hoping that the sun will fill the skies tomorrow,
That pain is alleviated,
That fires are extinguished,
And healing begins.

Amen.

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A Prayer for World Kindness Day

13 Wednesday Nov 2019

Posted by mictori in Life, National Day Prayers, Pop, Prayers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#worldkindnessday, kindness, Love, National Day Prayers, Prayer, Prayers, World Kindness Day

action-adult-affection-eldery-339620

Divine Tenderness-

As our world withers from the chills of words
And our souls are flooded from the tides of hate,
We embrace the tiny seeds of kindness still abiding around us.

For the ones who reach across aisles and tear down barriers
Our hearts celebrate.
For the ones who stand up to animosity
And refuse to let hatred win,
We send our songs of thanksgiving.

May we step out of our way to be kind to our neighbor today.
May we eschew cynicism after all of the prejudice we’ve seen.
May we embrace the light within ourselves and all of your creation.

May your holy glow push through the cracks in barriers
To reach each of your children here on earth.

Amen.

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A Prayer Before Daybreak

05 Thursday Sep 2019

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Prayers

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anxiety, dawn, daybreak, Grace, Hope, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity

God of Mystery-

As the night peels away from the far reaches of the sky
And the dew visits the tips of grass’ blades,
May your calmness wrap around our souls
Like a blanket.

May the sounds of morning’s friends
Welcome us back from dreamland.

Rescue us from the grasps of anxiety
And the claims of hopelessness.

Sing to us the songs of mercy,
And grant us the grace to embrace this fresh start that we see with each sunrise.

Amen.

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A Prayer for Youth Fearing Summer Break

01 Saturday Jun 2019

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Social Justice

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

domestic violence, hunger, Poverty, Prayers, progressive Christianity, Summer, summer break, violence in community, youth

5A3BB556-DDE6-4811-A5D0-6EE069DDFD8F.jpeg

Possible Trigger Warning of Child Abuse

God of the Midmorning, the Early Summer, the Dusk-

We often focus on the youth who rush out of the classrooms into their summer. We focus on their anticipation of free days and joy like the summers afforded us.

The stars aligned for us… but didn’t for many children.

What we forget is our youths’ dread and concern of extra spending time at home during summer break- houses empty of food and filled with stress and violence.

We forget that they wake in worry of what the day will bring- extra bruises, extra hunger, extra chaos.

May their summer days be filled with activities of fun. As they spend time outdoors, may they find safety in friends and neighbors. May they be able to afford programs that the community offers.

As the fireflies return in the evening, May their homes be filled with peace. May they not feel the emptiness of hunger or the fullness of trauma. May their sleep be restful, and may their tomorrows be overflowing with hope.

Amen.

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Tears, Songs, and Hearing His Voice

26 Sunday May 2019

Posted by mictori in grief, Life, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Church, grief, grief and music, hymns, Let There Be Peace on Earth, loss of father, loss of loved one, loss of parent, Music

5756029D-993A-46E3-BFE7-239C94F0B7B7

This morning, I supercried at church – weeping like a small child.

The song was “Let There Be Peace on Earth.” Beyond the voices of the choir, I could hear the sound of my dad’s voice…

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me…

My dad would sing the song with every fiber of his being. His (probably) tenor voice would sing each syllable with intent. As a civics teacher, a Genocide survivor’s son, and a person who believed Christianity was an active faith, the song was probably the best representation of what he believed.

Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now…

And so, when this song is sung as it was today with the choir, every piece of my being remembered him. I remembered his articulation of faith, of his voice singing a song that was a prayer in his heart. I remembered our time sitting next to one another in church as my faith grew next to his more matured, more articulated faith.

Songs connect us with people and the past. Of moments of joy and of losses. We know what we no longer have, but we know that we’ve been given the gift of something spectacular – the holiness of song, of love, of spirit.

To take each moment, and live each moment, in peace eternally-

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

 

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Eternal Resilience: A Prayer Remembering the Armenian Genocide of 1915

24 Wednesday Apr 2019

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Armenian Genocide, Armenian Genocide 1915, Armenian Genocide Centennial, Armenian Martyrs' Day, Prayer, Prayer for Armenian Genocide

D08482FD-6163-4A81-9205-3C97A115A9B9

This was originally posted on my blog in 2015.

Soothing Spirit,
Whose gentle winds hovered over the Euphrates,
Surround our souls with support in these days of remembrance.

Strengthen our resolve to never let anyone forget
The atrocities of April 24 and beyond –
The genocide of the Armenian People.

They wanted to kill all of the aunts and uncles and grandparents
And place the very last one in a museum to show their sordid victory.

But they did not win.
Hate was not victorious.

We remember the spirits of our ancestors,
Of our sisters and brothers in Christ,
Marching through the mayhem
Of death, confusion, loss.
We remember their steps on the march to Deir-Zor-
Their empty stomachs and heavy hearts.
Their lives chipped away
As they lost their mom, or baby, or brother,
and endured violations of body, mind and soul.

In gratitude, we remember those who defied their people,
The Turkish and Kurdish souls who rebelled against the powers-that-be
Saving the lives of our kin.
We are grateful for those who stand against the powers today
And refuse to call these events anything but a genocide.

Heal our hearts as the deniers’ speeches become
Louder and louder.
Their words will melt into the pool of justice one day.

We give voice to the trauma that lingered in survivors’ hearts
From the days they left their homes in the ‘Old Country’
To the moment when they saw the face of God.

Help all who carry the stories of the past into the future
So that we will not forget,
And we will not stand by,
As more of God’s children are massacred.

We pray for the survivors of all genocides that burned our earth
And stole our siblings-
Armenia, the Holocaust, Rwanda, Cambodia, Bosnia, Darfur, and then some…
And then some more…
Knowing that God will give them resurrection from the ashes of yesterday,
rising into the winds of tomorrow.

Read my grandfather’s story of survival during the Armenian Genocide here. 

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National Take a Chance Day Prayer

23 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by mictori in Life, National Day Prayers, Pop, Prayers

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Grace, National Take a Chance Day, Prayer, Prayers, Prayers of courage, progressive Christianity, Take a Chance Day

Chaotic, Creative God-

The winds of change hover over your creation, nudging us towards a new heaven here on earth.

As the dry winds from the south pick up, causing us to remain inside our comfort zones, your Spirit is throwing open doors and windows, begging us to move back into the world.

In a vulnerable state, we slowly emerge into ferocious terrain- an atmosphere which wants to remain at rest and at unrest.

But here you are, God, asking us to take chances, asking us to speak boldly, love courageously, and care fiercely.

Today, we ask for prayers of strength to advocate for our neighbors on the margins. We pray for bravery as we allow mercy to emerge from our traumatized, closed-up souls.

We are willing to heed your call and take chances that build a more-caring world and share love which unites us and magnifies your image in one another.

Amen.

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One Good Friday

16 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by mictori in grief, Lent Prayers, Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

emotional abuse, Good Friday, mental abuse, trigger warning, Verbal Abuse

Trigger warning: abuse

woman-1245788_1920

The writing below occurred on a Good Friday over 20 years ago. I was verbally abused by a significant other during my mid-20’s. While he never physically abused me, I believe I would have left as soon as hits and shoves began. Instead, I wondered for months if what I was experiencing was verbal and emotional abuse, often convincing myself otherwise and telling myself that it would get better.

*****

From the rolling tears creeping down my cheeks
And the short breaths attempting to fill my lungs with air,
I inhale your disgust,
The grit spilling from your voice
Tastes like clouds of dust escaping from bottoms of sandals.

Our dinner the night before was a beautiful memory-
A time of quiet celebration…
But oh how the tone has changed quickly.

Even when my prayers begged for you not to betray me again, you walk back in.
Your hate-filled, dagger-edged sentiments
Came back to the room.
You weren’t finished.

Hit me, I think to myself.
I can finally come down off of the cross to which you nailed my spirit
And I can flee towards the lands of plenty
Where the God of hope and love has promised me
Milk, honey, vines drooping with grapes and nets overflowing with fish.

Hit me, I say to myself. I want to know where you stand
Instead of you driving the crown of thorns upon my sore spirit-
And removing it.  Then placing it and removing it
Again
And again
And again.

Your repeated accusations and condemnations pick apart my heart.

You might as well smack my face or whip me across the back
Or pierce my side with the dagger you kept in your bag
Because I cannot tell if I’ve done something wrong
Or if you’re thriving from my pain
And stirring
Stirring
Stirring the energy around us to kill the dreams leading me forward.

Your ‘love’ dizzies me
Like a ride on a chariot.
Your ‘love’ lifts me
Like a soldier lifting the Christ’s cross.
Your ‘love’ pierces me
Like nails driven into a body.
Such ecstasy is too much for my soul.
You’ve taken my breath – my will to breathe – away.

*****

I’m ready for my empty tomb and riding on clouds
Because my night in spiritual Sheol has captured all of my tears.

I will no longer allow you to cast your die upon my mind.
And I will shed your sins that you have showered upon my soul.

*****

As we wake for the new day
And you wash your hands of last night’s agony,
I barely feel human.

It’s Saturday.
We say goodbye.
The next time we meet face-to-face,
I’ve left the tomb.

 

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