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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: Mental Health Issues

A Prayer for Times of Twigs and Ashes

22 Wednesday Feb 2023

Posted by mictori in Lent Prayers

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Ash Wednesday, depression, grief, Lent, Lent Prayers, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity, Resurrection

God of the sticks, the dry grounds, the damp tears, and the gritty ashes:
Oh how we yearn for the spring to arrive.
The days of the sweet mild breezes carrying the scents of your creation.
The boldness of the sunrise which will awaken our souls
Instead of the chilly winds swirling below the thick cloud cover.

But for now, God, we sit under the tree full of twigs and surrounded by ashes.
We sit with the grief that comes from unbearable losses.
We settle knowing that today may not go well, that tomorrow is not guaranteed-
Yet hope still illuminates the sky in the distance.

So we live with that hope:
The hope that the phoenix will rise from the ashes
And Christ will rise from the tomb.
We live with the hope that the twigs on the trees
Will bear leaves when the time is right.
We know that after the longest nights of our lives
That the sun will rise again,
And that you, Holy Comforter,
Will follow us to the depths of Sheol if we flee.

Even when hardships encroach our space
And afflictions invade our bodies,
The hope found in the realm of God-
The dirt-filled, ash smeared
Tear-damp realm of God
Is still hope.
This is the hope that drives away despair,
That warms our hearts,
That give us moments of cheer.
And in that we offer God our praise.

Amen.

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Ted Lasso, World Mental Health Day, and My Story

10 Sunday Oct 2021

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, National Day Prayers, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxiety disorder, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, Panic attacks, Panic disorder, progressive Christianity, World Mental Health Day

Photo from https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/ted-lasso/
Photo from https://www.apple.com/tv-pr/originals/ted-lasso/

Like many of you out there, I’ve become a fan of Ted Lasso. (I probably should say that I’m now a superfan of Ted Lasso, considering all of the times I’ve watched the series all the way through.) Ted provides a leadership that is constructive and encouraging of the team – from its owner to the players to all who work for the Richmond team.

There’s a piece of the story that I believe is crucial to write about today, World Mental Health Day. (Friends: this part might contain spoilers, so turn back now if you do not want to know what will happen before the end of season two.)

In the first season (or series, as it’s called in Britain), Ted has a panic attack one night during the team Karaoke event. The owner of the team talks him through his attack, supportive of his struggles from their early days together.

In the second season, Ted has another panic attack during a game. I’m not sure what brings this one on, and I don’t think it really matters to the viewers. The most important piece is that Ted has a panic attack and must face what is happening.

Ted begins to open up to the people closest to him that the reason he left the game was due to a panic attack. And one of his confidants (Nate!) discloses this anxiety event to the press. Up until that point, Ted’s mental health issue is not public knowledge. Yet, Ted decides that talking about it with the world is crucial to bringing an end to the stigma of mental health and sports. In fact, the entire season focuses on mental health, as Dr. Sharon Fieldstone helps out the Richmond players with their own struggles.

What a blessing the story has been for the movement towards mental health. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorders, I identified well with Ted’s journey. (I first wrote about my childhood journey here.) When Nate outs Ted’s panic disorder, I became very angry. “How could he do such a thing! It’s not his story!” I thought to myself. Nate attempted to discredit and shame Ted through sharing such personal information. I didn’t care how much Nate was struggling himself; I was extremely angry that a person used a health struggle to damage the reputation of another human being.

I suppose I felt embarrassed for Ted. I felt the shame that was surrounding him and that others imposed on him. And yet, when it comes down to it, why was there shame? Ted began to address the struggles. Ted went back to work the next day. Ted opened up and spoke about it to normalize the experience.

More people than we realize struggle with mental health issues. From anxiety to depression to personality disorders to being bipolar, many of our neighbors go through temporary and life-long struggles with mental health issues. But in our struggles, we feel alone. We feel like no one else is going through what we are enduring. I felt that way as I child and sometimes as I got older. But then people began to talk about it, and I spoke about it – not just to be transparent in my journey but to help someone else as they go through something similar. I give thanks for my friend Rev. Dr. Sarah Griffith Lund who has been an inspiration to me writing about my journey. I find her books Blessed Are the Crazy: Breaking the Silence About Mental Illness, Family, and Church as well as Blessed Union: Breaking the Silence about Mental Illness and Marriage incredibly important for progressive Christianity. Like Dr. Lund, I am encouraging of anyone enduring mental health issues to seek help through a counselor and medication as well as other self-care activities. And like Dr. Lund (and Ted Lasso!), I am open to sharing my story as well.

Again, you can read something I wrote years ago here. But also, I’ve written a chapter in the forthcoming book When Kids Ask the Hard Questions, Volume 2: More Faith-Filled Responses for Tough Topics (edited by Bromleigh McCleneghan and Karen Ware Jackson). This chapter includes encouragement for parents to seek help if their child has anxiety or any other mental health issue. Children or adults should not feel alone in their journey, and if I can help one person feel less alone, then sharing my story is well worth it. I highly encourage you to check out this book because of the myriad of topics included. Children and parents should never feel alone in any struggles.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:

“ ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

As I said in my previous post regarding my story:

Today, to use the phraseology of Paul, I boast of this weakness of mine.  I boast not from pride, but because I feel free and light in being able to tell my story.  I boast because I see the presence of God in my weakness, and my relationships with God and others have grown closer in this vulnerable state.  And that means, like Paul, seeking contentment in this very vulnerable moment and becoming transparent will hopefully bring strength to the entire body of Christ.

So today, on World Mental Health Day, I celebrate the stories of others who became a little vulnerable to be honest so that others feel less alone. And I celebrate my story – because it shows both my vulnerability and resilience, knowing through baby steps and the strength of God finding a wholeness is possible.

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Mental Health Litany of Wholeness

29 Saturday Feb 2020

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Health, Liturgy, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Addiction, anxiety, depression, Health, John 14, Litany, Liturgy, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, mental health worship, Panic disorder, PTSD, wellness

1B383ED3-3164-4422-AD6B-07D5C0BCAA57
Scripture
John 14:26-27

One: “The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

Entry into Healing

One: When the world is topsy turvy around me, and I can’t see reality clearly.  When the medications haven’t clicked in, and I find myself in a manic state, or when depression is weighing me down.  Is this a panic attack coming on?!?

(Sets a medicine bottle on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

One: This substance helps me avoid the discomfort of life.  And now, it’s tough to set it down. I need it to function. I need it so I don’t feel everything.  It brings relief… and it’s a weight.

(Sets a weight on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

One: Trauma from war has clouded my brain.  All of a sudden mental pictures flash in my mind.  Will these visions ever leave?

(Sets a photo from veterans’ memorial on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

One: My dad can’t remember what he had for lunch earlier today.  And he no longer knows my name.

(Takes off name tag from neck and sets it on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

One: When you lose a spouse, you lose a part of yourself.  I haven’t been able to sleep as well. I’m not like I was before their death.

(Sets a box of tissues on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

One: So many in my pews are hurting – grief and depression, anxiety and trauma, addictions, caregiving.  Where do I go next?

(Sets a stole on altar/table)

All: Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

Scripture Isaiah 41:10

One: “Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

The candle is lit.

Prayer of Healing

Gracious God, Divine Travel Companion,

On this journey filled with worry and grief, our souls feel unsettled.  Our hearts rattle with the notion that something about our bodies and minds will fail.  Will illness and death surround us? Will the ones we love desert us?

Such anxiety sometimes needs additional help, God.  We thank you for counselors, therapists, psychologists, and others who offer a listening ear and constructive feedback.  With their help, we may begin to understand ourselves in new ways.

Bless the medications that we take each day which keeps our minds and our bodies in balance.  Bless the doctors who prescribe and consult and the pharmacists who care for our safety.

Bless the clergy who offer prayers when life crumbles and who will rush to bedsides when illness has overtaken us.  We give gratitude for their words of comfort when grief rolls in like storm clouds.

Through our trauma and our mourning, our anxiety and depression, when substances take the place of healthy living, and as our bodies begin to fail us, comfort us on this journey.  May your peace strengthen us. May your warmth give us hope for the future. Through your gifts and your presence, we see a future with hope.

Amen.

(c) Michelle L. Torigian 2020 – – Permission to use with attribution

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A Prayer for Anxiety – RevGalBlogPals

16 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop

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Tags

anxiety, anxiety disorder, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, panic, Panic disorder, RevGalBlogPals

Please visit the RevGalBlogPals link below for the Tuesday Prayer on anxiety and panic disorders.

God who created the expanding universe and designed each atom which dances in our world- let’s talk about anxiety for a minute. Why is it that my mind churns night and day wondering and worrying? Why is my heart racing, and why do I feel overwhelming nausea? Why do I feel like I can’t move […]

via Tuesday Prayer — RevGalBlogPals

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Advent Prayer Day 6 – A Lament for the George Baileys

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Christmas, depression, George Bailey, George Bailey Prayer, Hopelessness, It's a Wonderful Life, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, suicide

imageGod, it’s falling apart.
Money.  Love.  Everything.
Reputations are on the line.
It’s all a huge failure.
Life.
It’s not the way it was planned.

No more.
There is no future.
We can’t go on any longer.

Why does it matter if we are here.
If you are here or I am here or we are here.
What if I wasn’t born?
Would the world be better?

Unlike the lights of Advent
There is no hope in George Bailey’s land.
Would anyone care
If this George Bailey wasn’t around.
Would this life matter?
Would the world miss us?

And then we see it…
The ripples from our own little lives
How wonderful!
The waves clashing with other waves
Knowing that our life mattered.
Trusting that the sea or lake or sky
Would be different without us.

God who sits in the dust of depressive days
And dusk’s dimness,
Shine that light on our lives-
The one that helps us see the purpose
And the ripple-effect from our fingers.

May the one praying fervently
For direction,
For meaning,
For anything else that keeps them alive,
See the light within themselves-
The one that will see them into tomorrow’s dawn.
The one that keeps the universe moving.

There is a unique flame within you
That lights the world in a special way.

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