Tag Archives: progressive Christianity

Cranky Christmas: The Return of the “Bah Humbugs”

20 Tuesday Dec 2016

Posted by in Current Events, Holidays, Life, Pop

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pexels-photo-249209Much like living with a high pitch noise that won’t go away, I feel as if I am experiencing this Advent/Christmas season with a humming irritation swirling inside of me more than I’ve experienced in other years.

Maybe it’s due to the amount of work I wish I could do but haven’t gotten done.  Maybe it’s due to the things I haven’t gotten accomplished – like Christmas cards (for the billionth year in a row) and how many more extracurricular tasks have to complete before December 25.  Maybe it’s due to all of the failures of this past year or what isn’t going right in my life – according to the world’s expectations.  Maybe it’s due to my endometriosis flaring up a bit (not enough to stop me from getting things accomplished but enough to make me slightly grouchier than the norm).  Maybe it’s due to disastrous political and heartbreaking world events of the past few months.

Now, I won’t describe this as melancholy, because I wouldn’t categorize this as sadness or depression.  Sure, there are moments of sorrow due to the shortened days and lack of peace in our world.  But my Blue Christmas is not a traditional lament.  Rather, I’m irritated.  And this lingering frustration will not subside no matter how many episodes of Modern Family and Parks and Recreation I watch, how many times I view Love Actually or how many peanut butter and chocolate candies I eat.

And all I want to say… or scream…is BAH HUMBUG!

My annoyance at the circumstances of 2016 has placed a filter for the joy of the season.  It’s drowned hope.  It’s robbed my soul of peace, and loving one’s neighbor tends to suffer as a result of my irritations.

And while the presence of the Christ is in my midst, there is a veil between my eyes and Christ’s presence.

So I’m praying that when the Christ candle is lit on Saturday evening, it will be the light I need to see hope, peace, joy, and love that’s been a bit absent in recent weeks.  I pray that it will soothe my soul throughout these shallow-filled days.  I pray that I will not allow this light that is coming into our world to diminish and that it continues to remain strong as time gives birth to 2017.

 

 

Not an Anomaly: Progressive Christians in Your Midst

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Justice

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hideFor many years, I was led to believe that there was only one way of being Christian.  This way would focus on specific issues like abortion, who is allowed to get married, who isn’t allowed to have sex, and who will be granted eternity in heaven.

As time went on, I realized I never really identified with this flavor of Christianity.  It was too bitter: condemning anyone who didn’t fit into their moral code.  It reflected a sour that first appears as sweet.  People invited you to their church which held certain strong perspectives – some bragging about being baptized or born again.  All wanting you to join and change the way you are living.

Very little of the greatest commandment was discussed in these churches.  Sure, there was a lot of implicit “love God” as they spoke of their devotion to Jesus.  But loving neighbor was the null.  It was hidden from their theology. In some cases, it had been discretely removed from the church altogether.  Needless to say, hypocrisy was a dominant force in turning me away from the Church during my twenties.

For me, I needed to worship in a place who would accept my views – even if people didn’t have the same perspectives.  I needed a church which valued my individuality and, at the same time, encouraged us to be in covenant with one another even in our differences.

Hypocrisy and negativity may have challenged me to switch churches and even denominations in my early 30’s.  I could no longer fit my square self into the round hole my church had become.  While shame raged within me, I walked away from the congregation – moving towards something new.  For me, that was being part of the United Church of Christ.

Yet as part of my call to ministry, I knew I had to talk louder than the voices of condemnation and hypocrisy and present another side: one of grace and love.  For many years now, I feel called to present Christianity in even more unconventional and heretical ways.  I believe this is to witness to a more loving and more grace-filled faith.

A few days before the US General Election of 2016, I became a member of a (not so) secret online society called Pantsuit Nation.  Some of the threads presented in the group include wrestle with their progressive Christian faith.  They feel like they are an island as progressive Christians.  They wonder if they can reconcile themselves and their political perspectives while still having a relationship with God.

My answer: Yes, we can.  We can be liberal in our views of politics and faith.  And God still has a place for us here on earth and here in heaven.  There is a community of faith somewhere for you, and through this community, you will be able to realize that you are not alone in your faith journey.

There are so many of us online, in faith communities and in your neighborhoods.  You are not alone in your perspectives.  And your perspective matters.

Now is the time for us, progressive Christian friends, to speak aloud of what it means to be a progressive person of faith.  Now is the time for us to talk of our struggles to find churches that align with our way of thinking.  Now is the time for us to speak of our justice work, how being pro-choice does not mean you are pro-abortion, how all marital statuses should be respected and how marriage equality does reflect the love of Christ.  Now is the time for us to speak to how our faith leads us to affirm black lives matter, women’s bodies matter, Muslim religious freedom matters, the dignity of people who are disabled matters, the equality of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people matters, immigrants well-being matters.

When we are able to affirm the lives and livelihoods of our sisters and brothers who may find themselves in the margins, people are able to see the Christ in our midst with more clarity.

People are looking for us and our churches.  Are we brave enough to shout the good news of God’s love and acceptance to all people, even in the face of hate?

 

 

Class Reunion Trepidations

27 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by in Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

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meAdmittedly, I weigh more than my last class reunion.  I have additional gray hairs and wrinkles.  My success to failure ratio isn’t all that phenomenal.  I didn’t expand my family in any way since the last time I met with these people.

Basically, my vulnerable, 43-year-old self is heading into the den of expectations known as the class reunion.  And for some reason – maybe nearly reaching some new level of self-actualization – I care slightly less than I did at 38.

I really can’t describe what group I belonged to throughout high school.  I was definitely a band geek with some flavoring of academic nerd and artistic flair.  At the beginning of high school, I was extremely dorky.  Having a father as a civics teacher at the same school didn’t quite help my reputation.  I dated very little – probably due to a unhealthy mix of subpar self-esteem mixed with standing in my strict father’s shadow.

By junior and senior year, I had found my rhythm – identifying with the overachievers at the school, hanging out in G-rated situations and pretty much getting along with most people.

After graduating high school, I lived at home during some summers and holiday breaks.  A few months after graduating high school, I left my hometown, only to return for vacations and occasional nights away from seminary.

Life happened – lots of it, and not in the way I was hoping.  My mom would clip out photos of engagement and marriage announcements and send them to me –  none of which were my own.  I stayed safely away in single-Floridaland while my classmates coupled up and had children.

Sometimes, I challenge my expanding body and nervous soul to attend alumni gatherings in which I see everyone I knew from the days when I was some fantastic 95 pound overachiever with much more of my life ahead of me.

Yet, I think we’re reaching that point when we don’t care as much about how much we haven’t done or how fabulous we are compared to someone else.

We’re reaching the point in which we are just happy to be alive and happy that our friends and classmates are well and still alive.

We’re happy that we’ve all taken time out of our busy schedules and traveled many miles to set aside this weekend to connect in 3D instead of social media.

We are all in our middle years, facing the aging of our parents, their deaths, transitions with our health and understanding that life constantly takes turns for good and bad.  And, yet, we are all still standing.

We are happy to see that many of us have set aside our cans of ozone-reducing hairspray to attain bangs of great heights and chopped off business-up-front-party-in-the-back mullets – although it’s all good if that’s our hairstyles of choice.

We are happy to set aside time to feel like our inner 18-year-olds still exist even when our bodies feel every second of their 43-year-old lives.

I thank my God every time I remember you.  I thank my God every time I can cross the miles to see you.

 

 

 

Single in the Sanctuary – For the Record, I’m Fed Up Too

14 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Single in the Sanctuary

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aniston memeThis week, brave shero Jennifer Aniston wrote this brilliant op-ed on the Huffington Post regarding her frustration with the media for scrutinizing her body and family structure.  She has previously spoken out on these frustrations and chose to write a public post after some elaborate false reports that she was pregnant were plastered all over the internet.  In her most recent piece, Jennifer noted:

Here’s where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves.

While the interrogation of my life never usually includes whether or not I’m pregnant, there are similar questions circling me whenever I’ve been in a significant relationship for a while:

Have you started talking about getting married?
Do you think you two will get married someday?
Do you think he wants to get married someday?
When do you think you’ll get married?
You think he’ll propose during (fill in the blank)?

Admittedly, being interrogated like this was much much worse in my early 20’s when everyone around me was pairing up and getting engaged.  When I wasn’t dating, I was being grilled with the “are you dating someone” questions.  And if I was married, I would be asked when I would be starting a family.

All I want to say in my increasing anxiety and frustration is “BACK OFF!”

Now, I don’t mind a question like this from my six year old niece because children have no filter to their curiosity.  But a thirty, forty or seventy-something should know better.

I get it: people really want to see me get my “happily ever after.”  Or maybe they are just curious.  Or maybe there are one or two people out there who really want to know how my life has not come together.  Who knows…  Overall, it makes me feel invaded, odd and, in many ways, shamed for what I have or have not done yet with my life.

I must confess that I’ve taken part in a system that places expectations on other people.  I read tabloids that steal moments and fabricate stories about celebrities.  I’ve asked people about the relationship in the past.  And for being a part of a system that tries to pigeonhole women, I am truly sorry.

Almost two years ago, I wrote this post about Jennifer Aniston and her frustration with this checklist everyone thinks she should have accomplished.  Yesterday, I watched a video of the “Magnificent Seven,” or the seven U.S. women gymnasts who won the gold medal for gymnastics in 1996.  They were all in one place, updating the world on their lives and reflecting back on their stunning achievement.  As one of the Olympians stated “Twenty years later, it’s good just to see that everyone’s happy, everyone’s healthy, everyone is married (and) either starting families or have families of their own.”

What if they hadn’t all gotten married or planned on starting families?  Would they have been incomplete as an individual or a group?

It comes down to what we believe full completion is in a human being – especially a woman.  It isn’t enough that she just is a human being caring for other human beings in the world.  It isn’t enough that she is made in the image of God.  She must also be married and have children.  And we will keep asking those questions and begging to read more until her life finds this level of completion.

Jennifer and everyone else, I’ve grown tired of this narrative too.  I’m tired of feeling like I need to explain or justify to people the progression of my relationship.  I’m tired of trying to fit into the world’s expectations of what I should have accomplished by 43.  It’s no one’s business except mine, my significant other’s and God’s.  When the time is right, we will take our relationship to the next step…

You know what?  I don’t even need to say that.

And like Jennifer, I will be the one to tell you when I’m engaged or when I’m getting married.  I will be the one who tells you when anything big happens in my life… if and when I feel like it.  Like Jennifer, there are things I want with my life as well.  But life doesn’t happen in a prescribed time, and sometimes we just want to live without the painful reminder of what we should have.

Every time one of these questions pops into our heads about our cousins, co-workers or celebrities, maybe we need to change focus.  As Paul says to the Thessalonians “we urge you, beloved to (love) more and more, to aspire to live quietly, to mind your own affairs…”  It’s time for us to love one another where we are at right now without setting our minds completely on the future and what they may or may not bring.

In the meantime, I will work to enjoy the valuable small moments in life – with my significant other, with my friends and with myself.  Life isn’t about waiting for the big moments.  It’s about cherishing the sunshine in between the clouds.

 

Pokémon Go, Reloading and Sabbaths

12 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Social Media

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Apparently, our church is a Pokémon Go PokéStop.

What does this mean?  While I’m new to the game, I believe a PokéStop is a location where people can reload on supplies they need to capture the monsters.

My church, St. Paul United Church of Christ in Colerain Township, Cincinnati, is a PokéStop.  At first, I didn’t know this, and I’m not exactly sure how we became one.  After watching a few new people walking around our church building and then installing the app myself, I can indeed confirm that we are a PokéStop.

While church may not be a destination for younger people, PokéStops are.  So how can we merge virtual life and spiritual life into one location?

Remember the Sabbath.

Times and spaces to reload are important for all people.  Some choose faith communities.  Others choose sporting activities, arts or fellowship activities.  These are activities that give something back to our souls.

Church was already a PokéStop in the game of life.  It has been and should always be a place in which we can recharge our batteries and reload on spiritual energy for the new week.  Sometimes we get away from the idea that Sabbath is for reloading on spiritual fuel.  While we may come to church to give to God, we are also finding supplies for our soul.  God gave us the Sabbath for us to find renewal.  As Jesus says in Mark 2, “The Sabbath was made for humankind, and not the humankind for Sabbath.”

In our time of reloading, or Sabbath, may wee all see God a little clearer, each other with more love, and find spiritual supplies to help us manage life throughout the week.

 

 

Single in the Sanctuary – The Many Stories

14 Tuesday Jun 2016

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red-love-heart-oldEver since starting the Single in the Sanctuary group on Facebook as well as lead a couple of speaking engagements, I’ve had people share their stories with me.  It’s been an amazing experience to learn about the roads our friends have been on over the course of their lives.

After hearing many stories, I see that there are some overlaps to many of our stories.  We share similar sentiments of loneliness.  Often, we wrestle when hope is lost.

But while a few of our stories are alike in many ways, each of our stories of being unmarried has distinct differences just like our DNA and fingerprints.  Because of these vast differences, we can’t speak for someone else.  Again, I was reminded of this – especially in light of the shooting at the Pulse Night Club in Orlando as well as what safety and sanctuary mean to LGBTQ people.

I can only speak for myself: an educated, straight white never-been-married cis-female.  Granted, I’ve gone through some tough times being single throughout my twenties and thirties.  Just by being a woman, there have been times when I’ve felt extremely unsafe.  But my issues have minimal intersectionality issues, and I am extremely privileged.  I’ve never faced what it means to be a person who is queer.  I’ve never experienced what it means to be a single woman of color.  Being a progressive Christian, I’ve also never experienced what a Jewish or Muslim woman has experienced.

As I reflect, some questions have come to mind: How would a person of color experience never being married?  What would it be like to be a person of another faith who is getting divorced?  How many more layers of difficulty in dating exist for a transgender person?  How do lesbian, gay and bisexual people navigate the healing process for abusive relationships?

Of course, no one is required to tell us their stories unless they are ready to talk and they feel safe speaking with us.  But what we as people of privilege within the unmarried spectrum need to understand is that there are friends who must deal with many additional layers of challenges.

All that any of us as people of privilege can do is allow space for all unmarried open-minded Christians to speak without interruption or trying to explain their experience for them, especially those whose stories are vastly different than ours.  And my job, in return, is to learn as much as possible from them when they are ready to share.

I will continue to tell my story.  But it is only one story in the sea of many.  My experience is only my experience, and it is one that is fairly privileged.  May the God in whose image we are all made give us the courage, strength and power to tell our stories and the patience to listen to the narratives of others.

 

For Such a Time as This…

13 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in Current Events, Pop, Social Justice

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“For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.’”

Esther 4:14

For such a time as this…

Sometimes we don’t want to shake our current placid state.  Everyone in our cozy corner of the world is (fairly) happy…

And then 50 people are killed and another 50 or so injured by a solo bigoted, biased, homophobic hate-filled shooter.  In our cozy corner of the world, we have the privilege to close our eyes, bask in the sun for the rest of the day and forget that tragic incident happened early yesterday morning in Orlando, Florida.

We dodge conversations on the discrimination that happens to our friends of color, the ugly words thrown at our LGBTQ friends, the catcalls and assaults and violence in homes that happens to our sisters, the ways that Muslims feel threatened just by living in this country.  We can point our fingers at everyone else that doesn’t look anything like us.  It’s their fault… It has to be… I’m just sitting on my cozy corner minding my own business.

But when the hateful rhetoric in our country is getting louder and louder and more people are dying and being abused because of their color, religion, sexual orientation, gender/gender identity/gender expression, then we as people of faith need to stop sitting in our cozy corners and get ourselves out into the world.

For such a time as this, we are called to listen to stories without judgment.

For such a time as this, we are called to open our mouths and speak out every single time we hear hate.

For such a time as this, we are called to be the voice of love in our world.

Esther could have sat in her cozy corner of the world.  She could have allowed her kin to be massacred.  Instead, she risked her own life to stand up for the lives and well being of others.

Are we willing to do the same?  Am I willing to do the same?

For such a time as this, are we willing to call out the voices of hate?  When hearing such hateful words against our sisters and brothers, are we willing to name such animosity?

Are we willing to say that our LGBT sisters and brothers are loved by God for who they are?

Are we willing to say that the lives of our sisters and brothers of color matter?

Are we willing to say that the bodies of our sisters are to be respected?

Are we willing to say that our Muslim sisters and brothers shine the light and love of God in our world and that the stereotypes are wrong?

Are we willing to say that our transgender friends are loved by God just as they are?

Are we willing to say all of these words aloud, risking our lives and livelihoods like Esther?

Will we use our privilege to listen, learn and speak to other people of privilege at such a time as this?

May the loving arms of God surround the survivors in Orlando as they heal in body, mind and soul.  May the peace of God surround the grieving family members and friends as they come to terms with the violence and hate that robbed them of their loved ones.  May the strength of God carry our LGBT, Latinx and Muslim friends as they navigate a world still so threatening.  And may God give all of us the courage to speak out against hate in our world.  Amen.

Single in the Sanctuary – Living the Fiercely Independent Life

31 Tuesday May 2016

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IMG_4476 (2)This coming Wednesday will mark the 20th anniversary of living completely on my own.  June 1, 1996, I moved into my small, five-hundred-and-something square foot apartment in Largo, Florida.  The space was tiny, and while I only intended to live there months to maybe a couple of years, I resided there for over eleven years.

In August, 2007, I moved from Florida to a one bedroom apartment on the seminary campus in St. Louis.  I felt a bit less alone in that apartment as seminary friends surrounded me for three years.

But school ended in 2010, and I needed to move again.  It was a torturous year because I moved three times, eventually landing in Cincinnati.

Each of those apartments represent the single Michelle – no roommates, no significant others, no family members on any of the leases.

I’ve learned how to kill spiders, usher lizards out the door, open any type of bottle – including the wide salsa containers, get my garbage disposal working again, know when I needed to light the pilot light on the gas stove and plunge toilets.  I can’t say that I’ve never needed help, but for day-to-day operations, I feel confident to be on my own.

And I feel that God has given me what I needed to be fiercely independent.  Psalm 68 says “God gives the desolate a home to live in.”  Through the grace and mercy of God, I’ve had people, strength and comfort to get me through the solo years.

And through my fiercely independent life, I now know that eventually moving in with a significant other will not have anything to do with “need” but “want.”  I want the merged life, the person with whom I spend my evening and weekends whether we are working in separate rooms or sitting together on the couch watching TV.

There is an emotional tug of war with the ideal of living full-time with another person.  As humans, I believe we are created to be in relationship with others.  Ecclesiastes 4 states:

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

And yet, I know that it will be an adjustment to live with another person someday.  Being solo, I have my own system of life.  Sometimes, I’ll fall asleep on the couch and sometimes in my bed.  I have my TV or some online streaming video service going during every waking hour because I love the noise.  I will sit in front of my TV and work on various type of crafts and arts – spreading my work out as I know no one will care if a few things are scattered on the floor.  One season four episode on “Sex in the City “calls it “Secret Single Behavior.”

From time to time I do wonder: What would a significant other or roommate think of my life?

I don’t feel like I’m too set in my ways even though I’m used to solo life and being fiercely independent.  I’m willing to compromise and change some to merge my life with another person.  But in the meantime, I will watch the Kardashians, eat dinner while sitting on my couch, color in my coloring books while lying down in bed, stay up until 3 AM working on cleaning out a closet and keep my clean laundry in a bin instead of sorting, folding and placing in a drawer.  I may always partake in these secret single behaviors.  At 43, I’m allowed to be authentic whether alone or with another person.

I love my life today.  And I would love to merge lives with someone someday too.

 

Prince, Tabitha, and That Which Ceases to Die

22 Friday Apr 2016

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imageDearly Beloved… We are called today to get through this thing called life…

In the midst of our difficult days and questions floating through our heads, we cringed yesterday afternoon when hearing that one who brought the tunes to our childhood and early adult years ceased to be.

No more concerts.  No more physical presence among us.  No longer here.

I remember the soundtrack of my life.  I remember when the ever-so-edgy “Darling Nikki” was sung at the top of my classmates voices during a 1984 slumber party.  I probably didn’t know very much about its meaning – I was only 12 – but it was solidly embedded in my culture.

I remember when the words of Prince’s “Nothing Compares 2U” comforted me the night of my first real breakup, hearing the soothing melody ring out from Sinead’s voice.

I remember our pom pon routine to the latter part of “Batdance” – the routine we performed on the night I started dating my college boyfriend.  And I remember that Arms of Orion was really my favorite tune of his Batman soundtrack.

I remember riding over the Sunshine Skyway Bridge as the song “Little Red Corvette” blasted from the tapedeck during the great spring break of 1993.  And when I hear that song, I think of my friend who is no longer alive.

I remember the moment in the past year or so when I realized more years had passed since year 1999 than existed between 1984 (the year the song was written) and the actual 1999.  And I remember really, really listening to the lyrics of 1999, knowing how frightened I was in the mid-1980’s of the world exploding one day because of nuclear weapons.

It is with great sadness that Prince is no longer alive.

It is with great joy that Prince is still alive.

Here’s what the resurrection stories of all sorts – especially the story of Tabitha in Acts 9 – reminds us: that even after our physical death, our gifts don’t die. While the narrative includes a physical resuscitation of Tabitha, the real miracle was that she was alive before her resurrection through her talents.   Like the women surrounding the body of Tabitha at her wake celebrating her gifts and showing off her arts, we have spent the past 24 hours sharing tune after tune of Prince’s most meaningful tunes.  We have shared stories passed on to us of what his music meant in our greatest and worst moments of our lives.  We have mentioned the narratives we heard about the great things he had done under the radar.

Through the great resurrection narrative of Jesus the Christ, resurrection happens.  Songs and stories and shared talents keep people alive.

And that is why Prince remains with us forever.

 

 

A Request for Time

05 Tuesday Apr 2016

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Phone Sept 2014 4016I want time to slow down.

Another week, another reminder that time stops for no one.  The clock continues to tick in a clockwise movement into the future.

I sleep, and time progresses.  I pause for a moment in a garden or park under the Eden-like 72 degree realm, and the minutes move forward.

I watch those around me and their minds and bodies and souls begin to dilute into a watered-down version of their younger selves.  I stare into the mirror and notice a new mark, a new wrinkle, a new gray hair has adorned my aging body.

Some days, I just need to pause – to let this reality catch up to my heart.  But life does not come with a snooze button.  When the alarms sound, it’s time to move.  When the clock displays six or seven or eight in the morning, it’s time to embrace reality no matter how much it hurts.

So in this snooze-free world, stop under the blossom trees.  Breathe in the aroma of the budding tulips.  Move about creation as if there isn’t enough time to embrace each acre of nature.

Know that life keeps moving forward but each wrinkle we embrace, each sun-filled afternoon we soak in, and each time we share love with another person becomes part of our eternal selves.