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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: white privilege

A Post As I Continue to Wake From My Privileged Slumber

13 Saturday Jun 2020

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

implicit bias, Justice, Social Justice, white privilege

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Before I say anything, this is just a reminder that this site is my own site. All I say here is from my perspective and not the perspective of any individual or organization with which I am associated. Never feel like you must agree with me.

Now that I’ve clarified this, I feel like I live out my faith by my writing and talking about justice issues. In different places I talk about things in different ways. But at the heart of what I speak of are a couple of scriptures. First of all, we are to love God with all we have and love our neighbors as ourselves. Secondly, like it says in Micah 6:8, we are to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with our God. With all I have and all I speak, post, or write, this is the foundation of my theology.

As the granddaughter of an Armenian Genocide Survivor, I see things a bit differently too. Government systems in Turkey were giving directives to kill all Armenians- and that included the members of my family. So when I see the powers that be not working justly, I am called as a child of God, as a member of the clergy, and as a person who tries to love their neighbor to shine a light on injustice.

Secondly, before we get started, I want to clarify that I want our first responders – including police- to be well in body, mind, and spirit. It breaks my heart when one is killed. I’ve seen the effects of death on the loved ones of police. I pray that they stay safe because they are children of God and they are the parents, spouses, children, and siblings of many.

Third, the most important thing for us to do is to build relationships and listen to stories from people who are not like us.

So. Deep breath. Let’s go!

***
First of all: Black Lives Matter! (Ooh, Michelle is starting out with a very scary one.) I’m not even sure why this is as scary and loaded as it is. In 1944, we might have said Jewish Lives Matter because, as a whole, their lives were at risk and they were being massacred. With internment camps around the same time, we may have said Japanese Lives Matter too. Remember – I’m the granddaughter of an Armenian Genocide survivor. In 1915, I would hope Turkish folks would have said “Armenian Lives Matter” instead of watching them go to their death march.

It’s also like this – and I’ve seen this online quite a bit: the parable of the lost sheep. Jesus leaves the other 99 to find the one. At that moment, that one sheep’s life matters the most. Overall in the history of time or in the eyes of God one group does not matter the most, but right at this period of time, it’s crucial we take care of our neighbors most at risk. You may have seen the illustration of one house of many on fire. At that moment, taking care of that house matters the most. Whose lives are hurting the most and most affected by an unjust system? That’s who we need to focus on. All lives truly do not matter without black lives mattering to our society.

So the next scary term: white privilege. Something been going on in this country for centuries (and still going in), and it’s that white people still get the benefit of the doubt more often. Some of us were born on first base, some on third, and some have to start at home plate. It’s easier for some to score a run. Being a white person means that I’ve probably been born on at least first base. A person of color has to start from home plate, and other people of color – especially in poverty – may not even have a bat in order to play the game.

Example: I am fortunate because people are not suspicious of me walking around my neighborhood or shopping at a department store. I can’t say this about my black neighbors.  They are scared driving around predominantly white areas because they get pulled over so much more in many of them – even going the speed limit. I’ve heard the stories of my friends, and I have it easy because I’m white. A black neighbor should not be worried running in his predominantly white neighborhood. This is what it means to have white privilege. If you start to get scared because you see a person of color going into the house next to you, they may actually be going into the house because it’s a member of the family, or a friend, or a contractor. They are allowed to be there. (PS – do not call the police. Things can escalate too quickly.)

If you had feelings bubble up when you saw a strange black person entering the house next to you, it’s something to address.  Those are called implicit biases; we all have them. I’m trying to work on mine, and I mess up all of the time! They are the biases that mean we don’t consciously think bad or want anything bad to happen to our black neighbors. It means we usually hate explicit racism – the “n-word,” Confederate flags, KKK, etc. We don’t believe hate crimes should happen like what happened Ahmaud Arbery.

But, down deep in each of us, we have little cells of bias. It could be so little we don’t realize it’s in us. Unfortunately, we make decisions based on these little cells of bias. We don’t include pictures of all races when we are promoting a program to people. We may think of predominantly black regions in our area in certain ways. We want to call the police when we don’t have evidence the person is causing a problem. We may place blame on people of color instead of unjust systems. In any case, these little cells of bias need to be brought to the surface, and we need to see how they can impact not just people unlike us, but our whole communities.

So if we all act out of and make decisions from these little cells of bias living inside of us, it’s going to impact our overall system.

There are healthy people and unhealthy people in every industry. And the ones who act out of their unhealthy nature need to be held accountable. And this includes people who cover things up.

I believe police who act out of biases (implicit or explicit), who join along with mob mentality in a group, or cover things up should be held accountable. It’s like the sexual assault scandal in the Catholic Church and other denominations. It couldn’t go unchecked – including people who cover things up. We as pastors are held to a very high standard. We have our committee on ministry who is part of our check-and-balance system, and it’s because some people misuse their power. All industries should have a check-and-balance system. As the Bible says in Luke 12 “to whom much is given, much is expected.” Those of us in any type of power must evaluate our places and our biases to keep systems healthy.

There needs to be a change to the overall system. As I said – more accountability. Let’s do more psychological testing – I had to go through quite a bit before becoming a pastor! Also, if a law enforcement individual is seen inside or outside of their job saying something explicitly racist, then they need to be suspended or fired. If we all act out of implicit biases to some extent, then explicitly racist people will act out of their undeniable, explicit racism. And it gets ugly! This is where some of the issues of our country have stemmed.

(Reiterating again: Of course, not all police officers are bad. Absolutely not! I know many wonderful law enforcement officials. But because we all have a sense of brokenness in our lives, all of us sometimes act out of the brokenness. Our brokenness may be severe like explicit racists. Or it may be deep down within us, hiding the small cells of bias, and we don’t know it as well and we support unhealthy systems. That’s why we all need to evaluate what we’ve been taught along the way and what biases we’ve held onto. Even healthier people can act out of their deep, unchecked biases. It doesn’t mean they are bad, but that we all have work to do on what we think and what we’ve been taught.)

Unjust systems are bigger than all of us. It’s bigger than just police, and we cannot put all of our focus there. I think many are forgetting to talk about how big all of these problems are. Lots of things are connected – like poverty, racism, mass incarceration, employment discrimination, and more. Biases exist all along the way. So that’s why reforms have to happen. Unfortunately,  like we read in The New Jim Crow or you may see in the documentary 13th (I highly recommend both!), some of these laws are biased towards people of color. It may be time to create healthy system of rehabilitation instead of keeping people in prison – especially if they can start a new life in healthy ways. And it may be time for us to understand why some laws were created along the way.

I say all of these things because my black friends’ lives matter. So do black strangers’ lives. From the time I was in seminary, I’ve heard their pain up close and personal, and it’s breaking my heart. I cannot stay silent on all of this because their lives and their well being and their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health matter to me. So that’s why I stand where I do because like in Jeremiah 29:7 in creating the well-being of others we all will find our well-being.

*****

Thanks for hanging in there this long! Ok, so some of you aren’t going to like what I said it parts of what I said. My liberal friends will think I didn’t speak far enough on these issues. My conservative friends will think I spoke too much. I tried to verbalize where I was the best I can to speak to a general audience. I couldn’t stay silent anymore because I had to write something that could help all of us see things from different angles. I kept my faith and advocated that we must do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with our God and love our neighbors as ourselves.

 

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Not OUR Day

16 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Pop, Social Justice

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Martin Luther King Jr., Martin Luther King Jr. Day, MLK, privilege, privilege awareness, racial justice, racism, white privilege

dr-kingAs a white person, I feel it’s necessary to reflect upon my relationship with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, his legacy, and who I am in my racial privilege.

When it comes down to it, fellow white sisters and brothers, this isn’t our story to reframe, not our struggle to claim, and this isn’t our day.  And it is seriously easy to allow ourselves to slide the slippery-slope and make this day all about us.

There are places for us to be and work for us to do today that relate to the legacy of Dr. King.  It is a day for us to learn.  This is a day for us to listen to the stories of friends of color, to read about the life of Dr. King, to hear his sermons and speeches once again, to pick up books that focus on white privilege and the struggles that black Americans endure.  This is a day for us to walk next to our friends of color and listen to what they are saying.

This is the time for us to recall how we fell short in the past year in our stands for racial justice.

This is the time for us to find courage that we need for the upcoming months and years to stand for justice and the well-being of our neighbors.  This is a day for us to set aside to recommit ourselves to justice issues.

Yes, Dr. King stood up for a myriad of justice issues – including peace during the Vietnam War and economic justice for all.  And as Dr. King said “Justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” all injustices are interconnected and hurt so many more people than who we first notice.

But this day is not for us to whitewash Dr. King – to forget what he stood for and how he was willing to put everything out there for racial justice.  Today is not the day to do to Dr. King what we have done to Jesus: to make both men hyper-meek in their approach to justice.  Yes, they loved peace and non-violence, but they were willing to go to the grave for their fight for justice.  They were edgy, and both men would not be revered by the majority of our society if they lived in our country today.

May we continue to grow in our privilege awareness.  May we stop falling asleep to our privilege like the disciples in the garden with Jesus.  May we find ways to speak of the authentic Dr. King.  May we listen… and listen more.  May we find ways to become aware of all of our privileges – whether they relate to race, sexual orientation, religion, or other privileges.  May we continue to love radically like Dr. King and Jesus… and may we embrace their courage when the time comes for us to need it.

 

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For Such a Time as This…

13 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Social Justice

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

discrimination, Esther, Esther 4, ethnic discrimination, For such a time as this, LGBT, Muslim, Orlando, Orlando shooting, privilege, progressive Christianity, Pulse, racism, sexism, white privilege

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“For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.’”

Esther 4:14

For such a time as this…

Sometimes we don’t want to shake our current placid state.  Everyone in our cozy corner of the world is (fairly) happy…

And then 50 people are killed and another 50 or so injured by a solo bigoted, biased, homophobic hate-filled shooter.  In our cozy corner of the world, we have the privilege to close our eyes, bask in the sun for the rest of the day and forget that tragic incident happened early yesterday morning in Orlando, Florida.

We dodge conversations on the discrimination that happens to our friends of color, the ugly words thrown at our LGBTQ friends, the catcalls and assaults and violence in homes that happens to our sisters, the ways that Muslims feel threatened just by living in this country.  We can point our fingers at everyone else that doesn’t look anything like us.  It’s their fault… It has to be… I’m just sitting on my cozy corner minding my own business.

But when the hateful rhetoric in our country is getting louder and louder and more people are dying and being abused because of their color, religion, sexual orientation, gender/gender identity/gender expression, then we as people of faith need to stop sitting in our cozy corners and get ourselves out into the world.

For such a time as this, we are called to listen to stories without judgment.

For such a time as this, we are called to open our mouths and speak out every single time we hear hate.

For such a time as this, we are called to be the voice of love in our world.

Esther could have sat in her cozy corner of the world.  She could have allowed her kin to be massacred.  Instead, she risked her own life to stand up for the lives and well being of others.

Are we willing to do the same?  Am I willing to do the same?

For such a time as this, are we willing to call out the voices of hate?  When hearing such hateful words against our sisters and brothers, are we willing to name such animosity?

Are we willing to say that our LGBT sisters and brothers are loved by God for who they are?

Are we willing to say that the lives of our sisters and brothers of color matter?

Are we willing to say that the bodies of our sisters are to be respected?

Are we willing to say that our Muslim sisters and brothers shine the light and love of God in our world and that the stereotypes are wrong?

Are we willing to say that our transgender friends are loved by God just as they are?

Are we willing to say all of these words aloud, risking our lives and livelihoods like Esther?

Will we use our privilege to listen, learn and speak to other people of privilege at such a time as this?

May the loving arms of God surround the survivors in Orlando as they heal in body, mind and soul.  May the peace of God surround the grieving family members and friends as they come to terms with the violence and hate that robbed them of their loved ones.  May the strength of God carry our LGBT, Latinx and Muslim friends as they navigate a world still so threatening.  And may God give all of us the courage to speak out against hate in our world.  Amen.

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The Privilege of Falling Asleep

25 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

#staywoke, Easter, garden of Gesthemane, Gesthemane, Holy Week, james, Jesus, john, Peter, privilege, progressive Christianity, white privilege

imageThree years of seminary was the grand beeping alarm clock to my own racial privilege. Conversation after conversation with friends who eventually became pastors and prophets in Ferguson stirred me from the deep sleep of privilege in which I had mostly abided for three decades of my life.

I’m awake… I’m awake… Of course, I think I’ll never going to fall asleep ever again…

As the days and months continued post-seminary, my eyelids became droopy. Fatigue overcame my mind and my heart. Eventually, my eyes close, and I found myself mostly unsuccessful resisting an idealized dreamland while my sisters and brothers of color are calling out to God for their lives and their well-being.

Like Peter, James and John keeping watch as Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, I continue to nod off to sleep. There are days in which I feel like I am spiritually dozing and need the nudging of the Christ to become alert to the reality of so many in our communities.

This nudging comes in the form of news articles posted, first person accounts of injustices posted on Twitter as they are happening, being called out for a sentence or two of “whitesplaining” or hearing a cherished friend’s story of fear and discrimination. #Staywoke in social media is the alarm clock that’s intended to stir me from my sleep, whether I am in a deep slumber or nodding off for a short nap, slipping out of privilege-consciousness for a moment or two.

As a person of racial privilege, I have the freedom to be able to close my eyes for a time-out while my friends of color can’t rest for a moment. They are crying out for their well-being as they are treated unfairly in the workplace, in systems of education and by the powers-that-be. They are wailing as their children are found slain in daylight due to unjust systems.

As people who are white, we have the obligation to stay awake as Jesus has urged us to do – watching and waiting alongside of Jesus and neighbor, knowing that the time is coming for another round of oppression.

In the spirit of reconciliation during this upcoming Holy Week – especially as we reflect on the Mark 14 narrative of Peter, James and John trying to keep awake – I ask God and neighbor for forgiveness as I close my eyes to the injustices in our world. I pray that God will give me the energy, focus, passion, understanding and courage to #staywoke alongside my friends who aren’t gifted the option to rest. And I yearn for a time when those of us who know privilege will keep alert even after the daylight of justice comes.

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I Don’t Know What to Do with This Day

18 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

#blacklivesmatter, Martin Luther King Jr., Martin Luther King Jr. Day, MLK, progressive Christianity, racism, white privilege

imageHonestly, I don’t know what to do with Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  It’s not my day to claim.

The struggle of my black sisters and brothers is not mine and yet, I am connected to it.  My skin is white.  My benefits are great.  And even though the privilege of a white woman isn’t perfect, it’s still pretty darn good.

I can drive in rich neighborhoods without worrying who will pull me over if I’m driving four miles over the speed limit, walk in department stores without much thought to who is watching me and apply to jobs knowing that my resume will at least get a glace.  So the struggles that King mentioned aren’t about me or people who look like me.

So, what is this day about?

Right now to me this is the day I step aside to learn and to listen.  It’s the day when I listen deeply to the deep pain of my friends.  It’s the day when I examine my times of “whitesplaining,” of the times I didn’t speak up and the times I worried more about what others thought of me instead of the hard journey of those who continue to struggle. And then I offer a prayer of reconciliation to God my parent and my sisters and brothers of color.

This is the day I examine how I can become a better leader, how I can learn from the example of Dr. King the Prophet and live boldly as I continue to carry the light of Christ into the world.

This is the day I think about the ways I can push the shadows in the world aside and shine more light.  This is the day when I reflect on how to love more and use that love to erase the growing hate in our communities.

This is the day when I speak to and with those who are privileged as we share ways for us to be better allies.  This is the day when I recommit to the covenant of the complete body of Christ knowing that a good portion of the body is disregarded by other parts.  And this is the day when I send light and love to my sisters and brothers of color as they continue their march to true equality.

I still don’t fully know what to do with this day.  All I can do is walk humbly with my God and my neighbors and hope I can do better this coming year.

*****

One year from now I will probably be reading this and think that I had so much more to learn.   This is a work in progress and I’m open to your thoughts.

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Shedding My White Naiveté

18 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Media, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Canaanite woman, discrimination, East St. Louis, Ferguson, Jesus, Missouri, race, race relations, racism, St. Louis, Syrophonecian woman, white flight, white privilege

St. Louis – Maps of racial and ethnic divisions in US cities, inspired by http://www.radicalcartography.net/index.html?chicagodots (Bill Rankin’s map of Chicago), updated for Census 2010. Red is White, Blue is Black, Green is Asian, Orange is Hispanic, Yellow is Other, and each dot is 25 residents. Data from Census 2010. Base map © OpenStreetMap, CC-BY-SA Map of By Eric Fischer (Flickr: Race and ethnicity 2010: St. Louis) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

I am white.

I’m not sure that lends me to give my opinions on what is going on in Ferguson, MO.  Yet by living in the St. Louis area throughout my entire childhood and having conversations about race and reconciliation inside and outside of seminary classrooms, I have some passionate thoughts on the subject.

If you live in the St. Louis area as I did in my childhood and throughout college and seminary, you notice that many areas are either white or black.  While there are a few integrated communities, it seems though each race has their designated space to live.

My first residence was in East St. Louis for the first three months of my life.  My parents moved closer to my dad’s work in Belleville.  My grandparents, who lived in my first residence, stayed there for another decade.  Based on what I remember when visiting them, they may have been the only or one of the few Caucasian families still in their neighborhood.

I remember people often talked about this fear that the people of East St. Louis were going to “move up the hill” to Belleville.  People continued and still continue to move farther away from Belleville’s West End because of this fear.

I’m guessing other areas of St. Louis experienced white flight similar to this.  Is it because people assumed racial minority equaled dangerous?  Or did people continue to hold on to their racism from the 1960’s?

When I entered seminary in my thirties, my friends of color would talk about their fears of living in Webster Groves.  I couldn’t understand.  To me, Webster Groves was this safe suburban community filled with large homes and prestigious schools.

But that wasn’t the experience of my friends.  One told me “I couldn’t go running at night.  I just can’t do that – someone will think I did something wrong.”  She told me that our black classmates and friends feel that they would be pulled over by police based upon the color of their skin.  And then she said something to me that really opened my eyes: “I can’t fully be a whole person in Webster Groves.”

When you live in privileged areas, only some people are given the rights of being made in God’s image.  Others have to embrace a lesser form of personhood.

Hearing the words “white privilege” for the first time made me completely uncomfortable.  As a woman I don’t feel extremely privileged.  Sure, I may not be as privileged as another white person based on my gender or socioeconomic group.  There are times that being a woman does not make life easy – especially when it has to do with bodily safety.

But I am privileged beyond what I will ever realize.

I can drive in suburbs and never wonder if I will be pulled over because of my skin color.  I will be treated with greater respect at stores.  People will not assume I will cause trouble because I am white.

Some time later, I took a class on race and reconciliation.  There was one day where the conversation became extremely heated.  The pain of what was happening in predominantly black neighborhoods and the discrimination to our sisters and brothers all over St. Louis was expressed very explicitly that day.

That day still remains at the forefront of my memory, especially when watching these events unfold in Ferguson.  I recognize the pain as many march on the streets.

From all of these conversations, it was like I took the “red pill” in the movie The Matrix.  I can’t unsee the systemic racism that exists in our communities.  The flame of justice and peace that was ignited in seminary continues to burn brighter within my soul as I watch news reports of North St. Louis County.

All I can assume is that these acts of protests, riots and looting stem from this deep systemic pain.  As a white person, I can’t accurately represent their pain.  But from the gift of many conversations, I know it’s there, and they have every right to voice their deep anguish.  When people face discrimination, violence, a disproportionate number of incarcerations, lack of quality education programs as well as adequately-paid employment options, food and basic needs, there’s less hope in their communities.

As a Caucasian, I can tell you that we don’t experience what minorities and marginalized people experience.  All we can do is try our best to point to injustices that linger in our communities.

What I’m writing here is intended for a primarily white audience — to share my story of privilege awareness.  As Caucasians need to start to do our best to see it from a different angle… not from our comfy suburban coves or up on hills away from “those people.”

When a family of color moves into our neighborhood, let’s not contemplate moving to a “whiter” area.  Let’s invite our neighbors over for coffee or dinner and begin to build the relationships.  When you see the looting on TV, don’t just focus on that one piece of the situation.  Instead, focus your eyes on the people who are trying to pray over the communities and lead communities to peace.  Listen for the people who are trying to bring all sides together for dialogue, and join those conversations.  Notice the people who are trying to stop looters and clean up the messes a few hands have made.

And let’s spend some time with our friends of various background.  Maybe we’ll hear the deep pain that resides within them from discrimination.

These are baby steps, but we need to start somewhere.

I believe it was a matter of time before this happened to a community in St. Louis.  The people of color in St. Louis have been living in pain that many of us will never understand in our lifetimes.  As a white person, I don’t know how to support them as I should, and I know I will fall short.

I will continue to make mistakes.  You will continue to make mistakes.  We’re human.  But how can we be better the next time?

When we misspeak and return to our privileged ways, we need to stand back up and continue to try to bring about God’s kingdom of peace and justice.

And I will say this: I don’t want to hear that the people who are expressing their anguish should be “whipped,” and please stop calling them “those people.”  They are part of all of us – part of the Body of Christ, part of God’s creation.  No matter what our color, we’re made in God’s image.

Yesterday, the lectionary text was Jesus encountering the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15).  Her ethnicity and set of beliefs led Jesus to group her with the “other.”  She called Jesus out on his moment of discrimination, and he changed his view of her and his process of ministry to those outside of the Jewish faith.

Let’s be like Jesus, the one who taught us how to set aside our prejudices and love our neighbors unconditionally.

 

 

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  • A Prayer for Over Caffeination
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  • A Prayer for Rest
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