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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: suicide

We Still Need to Talk About Leelah

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Media

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Acts 8, editorial cartoon, Jesus, Leelah, Leelah Alcorn, LGBT, Matthew 19, Philip and the eunuch, progressive Christianity, suicide, Transgender, WCPO

Image via WCPO

This week, my friend Kevin Necessary’s editorial cartoon was published on the Cincinnati news channel website WCPO.com.  The drawing was a cartoon of Leelah Alcorn and a quote from her final letter.  In the comments under the cartoon, many responders desired the conversations to halt.  They used negative words to describe Leelah.  But thanks to the station and those monitoring the site, the conversations continued.

It reminded me of a situation from 2007.

At the time I lived in Largo, Florida.  Steve Stanton was our city manager.  I was acquainted with Stanton from my days working as a membership director for the Greater Largo Chamber of Commerce.  Stanton was a dedicated public servant, working for the city for nearly two decades.

Due to a horrific move by the St. Petersburg Times (now the Tampa Bay Times), Stanton’s true gender identity and upcoming transition was outed to the entire Tampa Bay community.  The entire community was stunned by the news.  The media leaked this story before Stanton could tell her 13-year-old son.

Of course, people in this suburban town couldn’t allow Stanton to remain manager of the city.  Based on her ultra-conservative faith, then-city commissioner Mary Gray Black demanded for Stanton to be fired.

At the hearings, people from all perspectives came to stand for or against Stanton.  A pastor from a local church stated “If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he’d want (him) terminated. Make no mistake about it.”  I personally wrote letters to each of the commissioners urging them to continue the employment of Stanton.  Unfortunately, with a 5-2 vote, the Largo commissioners chose to fire Stanton in February 2007.  Soon after, Stanton began to publicly identify as Susan Stanton.  It was truly a very embarrassing time for the city of Largo, Florida.  (Fortunately, as of this week, LGBT persons will be able to marry in Pinellas County, Florida.)

Even in 2007, our communities knew very little about transgenderism and weren’t willing to learn more.

People like to continue to believe that our current gender is the only thing that defines us.  Boy or Girl.  Man or Woman.  Be a manly man or be a feminine lady.  Don’t identify outside of gender norms, and don’t identify with another gender.  They call people who identify differently “perverts” or “immoral.”

Here’s how much gender means to our society: if one’s genitals or reproductive organs are not in a specific order, then he or she is considered less than human.  If a person does not identify with their current physical gender, then they are less than human.  They are unclean.  A text from Deuteronomy sticks in people’s minds: “No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 23:1, NRSV).

What people forget are the words of the New Testament.  Jesus came to fulfill the law, and in doing so, never condemns the eunuchs in Matthew 19 nor does he deem them unclean.  According to Jesus, some are born that way, some have become eunuchs physically or spiritually by their own accord, and some had no choice in the matter and were made eunuchs by others.

So, to answer the pastor who said that Jesus would want Susan Stanton fired: Jesus never said that nor did he allude to ridding our society of genderqueer people.

Additionally, the story of Philip and eunuch in Acts 8 gives us the powerful example that no one is excluded from the Kingdom of God.  Even though the Ethiopian eunich would have been deemed unclean, Philip was called by the Spirit to baptize this child of God.

When our society continues to consider anyone who does not fit within the boxes of gender “norms” unclean – whether they are transgender, express their gender outside of cisnormative, genderqueer, etc. – then our society contributes to the hate crimes and suicides of many of God’s children.

To those people who are “tired of hearing about it” and want to “give it a rest” and “move on”: understand that you are privileged in your gender and your physical self.  You can turn off the news and never have to think about gender identity.  But Leelah couldn’t turn this off.  Leelah couldn’t give it a rest or move on.  And that is why Leelah took her own life.

Indeed, we can’t move on yet.  We need to continue to talk about this because, someday, many of us will lose a family member or friend who is transgender – either through suicide or hate crime.  Maybe some of us already have lost a loved one because they couldn’t believe society would accept them as genderqueer.

According to the Williams Institute and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

The prevalence of suicide attempts among respondents to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS), conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality, is 41 percent, which vastly exceeds the 4.6 percent of the overall U.S. population who report a lifetime suicide attempt, and is also higher than the 10-20 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults who report ever attempting suicide.

Those of us who identify with the gender in which we were born can not understand the struggle that a transgender person will endure.  Our physical, mental and spiritual selves are complex.  In some people, the physical does not match the emotional or spiritual.  The brain is an intricate organ.  As fellow humans, it’s important to recognize that when a person identifies with the opposite gender than the one in which they were born, it’s not an immoral act.  They aren’t selfish or a pervert.  They aren’t somehow more “specially depraved” than anyone else. However, they are enduring struggle that those of us who aren’t transgender will never understand.  Taking time to listen to and appreciate their journey instead of casting judgment will continue to build a community of compassion.

Leelah stated in her final note “The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was. They’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights.”  In memory of Leelah and our loved ones who have died, and in honor of Susan, let’s try to treat people of all genders, gender expressions and gender identities as humans – all made in God’s image.

I don’t know much about transgenderism or being genderqueer, and I write this out of respect of my transgender sisters and brothers.  If someone from the community knows more and any of my information is incorrect, please contact me.  

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Advent Prayer Day 6 – A Lament for the George Baileys

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Christmas, depression, George Bailey, George Bailey Prayer, Hopelessness, It's a Wonderful Life, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, suicide

imageGod, it’s falling apart.
Money.  Love.  Everything.
Reputations are on the line.
It’s all a huge failure.
Life.
It’s not the way it was planned.

No more.
There is no future.
We can’t go on any longer.

Why does it matter if we are here.
If you are here or I am here or we are here.
What if I wasn’t born?
Would the world be better?

Unlike the lights of Advent
There is no hope in George Bailey’s land.
Would anyone care
If this George Bailey wasn’t around.
Would this life matter?
Would the world miss us?

And then we see it…
The ripples from our own little lives
How wonderful!
The waves clashing with other waves
Knowing that our life mattered.
Trusting that the sea or lake or sky
Would be different without us.

God who sits in the dust of depressive days
And dusk’s dimness,
Shine that light on our lives-
The one that helps us see the purpose
And the ripple-effect from our fingers.

May the one praying fervently
For direction,
For meaning,
For anything else that keeps them alive,
See the light within themselves-
The one that will see them into tomorrow’s dawn.
The one that keeps the universe moving.

There is a unique flame within you
That lights the world in a special way.

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Robin Williams, What Dreams May Come and Psalm 139

11 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by mictori in Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Damnation, Grace, heaven, hell, Psalm 139, Robin Williams, Sheol, suicide, What Dreams May Come

Robin Williams. By John J. Kruzel/American Forces Press Service (Americasupportsyou.mil article) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Like many of you right now, I’m processing the death of actor Robin Williams.  His comedic timing and infectious energy permeated our hearts.  Reading many status updates in the past two hours, I see that this one death has left a very large hole in our culture.

It breaks my heart that someone who brought joy to thousands of others has endured a silent struggle with mental health issues.

In remembering his life, we tend to recall lighter comedies like Aladdin or Mrs. Doubtfire or significant mentor roles like Mr. Keating in Dead Poets Society or Sean McGuire in Good Will Hunting, overlooking some of Robin’s performances in lesser known roles.

In 1998, Robin Williams led the cast of What Dreams May Come, a feature film about a man who risks his soul to rescue his wife, Annie.  His character loses both children to a car accident, and then Chris himself dies in a similar manner. His wife cannot escape her depression.  She commits suicide to escape her life of pain.

On the other side of heaven, he hears that his wife decided to take her own life and that she is confined to hell.  Determined to be reunited and rescue her from her self-imposed eternal damnation, Chris sets out to explore each layer of heaven and hell to find her.

He uses every bit of his afterlife energy, and in her own Sheol, a shadow-filled underworld, he finds her.

Many in our society believe that people who kill themselves bring upon themselves eternal damnation or a self-imposed confinement to hell.  Yet I believe that God is much like Chris in What Dreams May Come: searching for us, sitting with us in Sheol and helping us find a way out.  God knows that mental illness is just that: an illness.  And God never abandons us no matter what illness and no matter if we are barely thriving on this earth or barely existing in the afterlife.  God’s pursuing love is chasing us on every level of the afterlife to help lead us to heaven.

Psalm 139:7-12 says the following:

“Where can I go from your spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast.
If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light around me become night’,
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is as bright as the day,
for darkness is as light to you.”

And that’s where I believe Robin Williams is: with God.  That’s where I believe all people who commit suicide are.  There is no afterlife hell for people who struggle with mental illness and commit suicide.  God’s grace is bigger than any condemnation or judgment.  God knows of Robin’ pain, and God is doing everything that God can do to be with him right now – from Sheol to heaven and everywhere in between.

Many people including some of you reading may be contemplating suicide because the pain feels too great.  However, there is help and hope if you struggle with depression or other mental illness.  Your life is valuable to many people.  Visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call (800) 273-TALK (8255).  

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God’s Grace is Much Bigger Than Suicide

29 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Cincinnati, Grace, La Salle High School, Love, Psalm 139, Romans 8, Shooting, suicide

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post in response to the suicide of Rick Warren’s child.  I still stand by my belief that people who commit suicide do not go to hell.

Today in this community, a high school student shot himself in his classroom.  As far as we know, he still struggles for his life.

No one is sure why this student would shoot himself in the classroom or even if he was trying to attempt suicide.

We’re not sure of much.  But I am sure that God still loves this young man.

Whether someone’s intention was to kill themselves or not, God is the God of grace and love who will continue to pursue us to the farthest place in the universe.  Psalm 139 reminds us that God is with us no matter how far we try to flee from God.  Romans 8:38-39 remind us that nothing will separate us from God’s love – and that includes suicide.

So today, we pray for this young man and his family.  We pray for those in the classroom who experienced this trauma.  God is with all of you and so are we.

Feel free to read this post I had written about the suicide of Rick Warren’s son:

Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

via Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

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Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren

07 Sunday Apr 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Body of Christ, comfort, depression, God, Grace, Hope, Love, Matthew Warren, peace, Rick Warren, suicide, Vine and Branches

Today, I heard the news that Rick Warren’s son committed suicide.  I can’t imagine what pain a parent would feel upon hearing the news that his or her own son ended their own life.

Granted, I may not agree with many theological points that Rick Warren believes.  His style of ministering and preaching may not be my style.

But, without a doubt, he is a child of God just as you and I are children of God.  He is part of the same Body of Christ that we belong.  He is made in the image of God the way all of us are made in God’s image.  God loves Rick Warren as much as God loves all of us.  And on the other side of heaven, Rick Warren will be there along with all of us.

Right now, God mourns with Rick.  God cries with Rick.  God surrounds Rick and his family with love, grace, comfort and peace.

We are called to do the same.

Because there is a hole in the heart and spirit of Rick, there is a hole in our spirits as well.  Because we are all part of the same vine and branches, we feel the branch that has been lost because Rick’s son Matthew is not walking with us on earth.  We feel a tremor in the whole body because Rick and his family have experienced this loss.

I tire hearing some theological traditions that believe that suicide sends people to hell.  Suicide is a result of mental illness.  As depression is a health issue, it can consume a person so greatly.  People do not choose to end their lives because Satan or some “evil force” causes them commit suicide.  Because of body chemistry and hormones, depression grasps the emotions of a person and causes them to understand reality in different ways.   This is a scientific and medical reality.  So Matthew isn’t in hell.  Matthew is finally seeing God in God’s fullest.  Matthew is able to see himself as God sees him.  Matthew can experience God’s full love and grace.  And Matthew is still a member of the great Cloud of Witnesses who will welcome us as we transition from this life to the next.

May the Warren family feel God’s peace, love and comfort during this time.  We pray for all who are contemplating suicide tonight and those who experience deep depression.  Amen.

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