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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: Transgender

We Still Need to Talk About Leelah

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Social Media

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Acts 8, editorial cartoon, Jesus, Leelah, Leelah Alcorn, LGBT, Matthew 19, Philip and the eunuch, progressive Christianity, suicide, Transgender, WCPO

Image via WCPO

This week, my friend Kevin Necessary’s editorial cartoon was published on the Cincinnati news channel website WCPO.com.  The drawing was a cartoon of Leelah Alcorn and a quote from her final letter.  In the comments under the cartoon, many responders desired the conversations to halt.  They used negative words to describe Leelah.  But thanks to the station and those monitoring the site, the conversations continued.

It reminded me of a situation from 2007.

At the time I lived in Largo, Florida.  Steve Stanton was our city manager.  I was acquainted with Stanton from my days working as a membership director for the Greater Largo Chamber of Commerce.  Stanton was a dedicated public servant, working for the city for nearly two decades.

Due to a horrific move by the St. Petersburg Times (now the Tampa Bay Times), Stanton’s true gender identity and upcoming transition was outed to the entire Tampa Bay community.  The entire community was stunned by the news.  The media leaked this story before Stanton could tell her 13-year-old son.

Of course, people in this suburban town couldn’t allow Stanton to remain manager of the city.  Based on her ultra-conservative faith, then-city commissioner Mary Gray Black demanded for Stanton to be fired.

At the hearings, people from all perspectives came to stand for or against Stanton.  A pastor from a local church stated “If Jesus was here tonight, I can guarantee you he’d want (him) terminated. Make no mistake about it.”  I personally wrote letters to each of the commissioners urging them to continue the employment of Stanton.  Unfortunately, with a 5-2 vote, the Largo commissioners chose to fire Stanton in February 2007.  Soon after, Stanton began to publicly identify as Susan Stanton.  It was truly a very embarrassing time for the city of Largo, Florida.  (Fortunately, as of this week, LGBT persons will be able to marry in Pinellas County, Florida.)

Even in 2007, our communities knew very little about transgenderism and weren’t willing to learn more.

People like to continue to believe that our current gender is the only thing that defines us.  Boy or Girl.  Man or Woman.  Be a manly man or be a feminine lady.  Don’t identify outside of gender norms, and don’t identify with another gender.  They call people who identify differently “perverts” or “immoral.”

Here’s how much gender means to our society: if one’s genitals or reproductive organs are not in a specific order, then he or she is considered less than human.  If a person does not identify with their current physical gender, then they are less than human.  They are unclean.  A text from Deuteronomy sticks in people’s minds: “No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 23:1, NRSV).

What people forget are the words of the New Testament.  Jesus came to fulfill the law, and in doing so, never condemns the eunuchs in Matthew 19 nor does he deem them unclean.  According to Jesus, some are born that way, some have become eunuchs physically or spiritually by their own accord, and some had no choice in the matter and were made eunuchs by others.

So, to answer the pastor who said that Jesus would want Susan Stanton fired: Jesus never said that nor did he allude to ridding our society of genderqueer people.

Additionally, the story of Philip and eunuch in Acts 8 gives us the powerful example that no one is excluded from the Kingdom of God.  Even though the Ethiopian eunich would have been deemed unclean, Philip was called by the Spirit to baptize this child of God.

When our society continues to consider anyone who does not fit within the boxes of gender “norms” unclean – whether they are transgender, express their gender outside of cisnormative, genderqueer, etc. – then our society contributes to the hate crimes and suicides of many of God’s children.

To those people who are “tired of hearing about it” and want to “give it a rest” and “move on”: understand that you are privileged in your gender and your physical self.  You can turn off the news and never have to think about gender identity.  But Leelah couldn’t turn this off.  Leelah couldn’t give it a rest or move on.  And that is why Leelah took her own life.

Indeed, we can’t move on yet.  We need to continue to talk about this because, someday, many of us will lose a family member or friend who is transgender – either through suicide or hate crime.  Maybe some of us already have lost a loved one because they couldn’t believe society would accept them as genderqueer.

According to the Williams Institute and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention:

The prevalence of suicide attempts among respondents to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS), conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian
Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality, is 41 percent, which vastly exceeds the 4.6 percent of the overall U.S. population who report a lifetime suicide attempt, and is also higher than the 10-20 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults who report ever attempting suicide.

Those of us who identify with the gender in which we were born can not understand the struggle that a transgender person will endure.  Our physical, mental and spiritual selves are complex.  In some people, the physical does not match the emotional or spiritual.  The brain is an intricate organ.  As fellow humans, it’s important to recognize that when a person identifies with the opposite gender than the one in which they were born, it’s not an immoral act.  They aren’t selfish or a pervert.  They aren’t somehow more “specially depraved” than anyone else. However, they are enduring struggle that those of us who aren’t transgender will never understand.  Taking time to listen to and appreciate their journey instead of casting judgment will continue to build a community of compassion.

Leelah stated in her final note “The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was. They’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights.”  In memory of Leelah and our loved ones who have died, and in honor of Susan, let’s try to treat people of all genders, gender expressions and gender identities as humans – all made in God’s image.

I don’t know much about transgenderism or being genderqueer, and I write this out of respect of my transgender sisters and brothers.  If someone from the community knows more and any of my information is incorrect, please contact me.  

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In Christ’s Love – A Letter From a Ally

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Ally, Bible, Bisexual, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Gay, God, Jesus, Lesbian, LGBT, Lincoln, Love, Martin Luther King Jr., MLK, Straight, Transgender, Transgendered

Last night, I tweeted this:

“I’m a straight ally pastor who is here for you dealing w/#TheStrugglesOfBeingGay. God loves you just as you are! :)”

I received a few responses from people on Twitter.  I think they needed to hear that there are people of faith who support and love them.

How could I not tweet this?  Jesus the Christ loved everyone.  Am I not called to do the same thing?

But that’s not the only reason.

I have experienced the unconditional, steadfast love of God through my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered friends.  They have been open to sharing Christ’s radical love.  And this has led me to becoming a straight ally.

Since college, I continuously have new LGBT friends coming into my life.  I’ve met them through friends, work and school.  Some of my dearest friends have come out to me since we’ve met, and others have come out years prior to our meeting.

This is what I would say to those of  you who are my LGBT friends in a friendship letter of love:

I think you are all so very brave to truly be the person God has made you.  And I am blessed by all of you in my life.

When I’ve been down, you have listened to me.  When I’ve been sick, you have brought me food.  You have prayed with me in times of trouble.  We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together.  You have encouraged me in my calling and been a huge part of my faith journey.

You are witnesses to the steadfast presence of Christ in our friendships and in this world.  You’ve extended hands of  hospitality and truly cared about me just as I am.

To my friends who identify as gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, queer, asexual, questioning and fellow straight allies… thank you.

This is a letter of love back to you.  Our orientations and gender identities may be different, and I don’t know the true capacity of strife you’ve experienced in  your lives.  But I am proud to stand next to you and say we are all children of God, and we are all made in God’s image.  We all want joy in our lives, and we all want to be loved just as we are.

Thank you for inviting me to your weddings to see new covenants being made.  Thank you for breaking bread with me.  Thank you for allowing me to be a visitor in your homes.  My life is better because you are in it.

Love, Michelle

Now, to my friends who are still in the camp of “traditional” marriage (a.k.a. marriage between one man and one woman): I recognize that you will not all will agree with me.  Many just  aren’t there when it comes to expanding marriage, yet you treat LGBT people with respect.  I try to be sensitive about voicing my views to people who aren’t quite at the same place I am about gay marriage and various gay rights.  Experiencing new people and new situations takes a certain comfort level.  I highly encourage you to continue conversations with LGBT friends, and maybe your views on love, life and God will change.

And then there are people who are relentless about keeping love in a box: those who use the Bible against their fellow sisters and brothers.  I realize that standing quietly by and allowing seriously bigoted views to float through our atmosphere does not make sense anymore.  Allowing bullying and slanderous words should no longer be in our society.

I’ve heard from some people think that loving a person requires trying to change someone into becoming straight, and that being gay is not good enough.  So here’s what I’d like to say to these friends.  Here’s my letter to those who have closed themselves off from having unconditional loving relationships with their LGBT sisters and brothers:

I have to ask you a couple questions: How would you like it if someone wanted to change something about you that you could not change?  How would you enjoy living in a world where people didn’t love you for who you are.

You see, my LGBT friends are moral.  Extremely moral and kind.  They know Christ in ways that many bigoted people seem to miss.  They know Christ in ways that I have even neglected sometimes.  All they want is to have the same chances at love as you do.  And I’m sorry that those of you who are my close-minded friends have missed out on such love and beauty in your lives.

I also do not want my LGBT friends hurting anymore.  I want them to feel the same dignity you and I feel.  I want them to feel no shame.  I want them to experience the overflowing love of God.  And that is why I write to you today.

My prayers are that God helps you see people and the human condition in new ways – mostly so that you will have an enriched life full of overflowing love.

Love, Michelle

After watching Lincoln this weekend, I had to write this.  It came to mind that, generation after generation, some people feel the need to oppress others to keep their status of life more valid.  What happens when slaves are freed – will they get to vote?  What happens when they vote – will women get to vote?  Justice is a slippery slope.  But that’s the good and decent slippery slope that needs to happen.  Through logic, I see how those who defended slavery and stood against voting rights for minorities and women were on the wrong side of justice.  Those who stood against interracial marriage were on the wrong side of justice.  In 50 years, people will wonder why so many in the early 21st century stood on the wrong side of justice.  Just like those defending injustice decades ago, they used God and the Bible as their reasoning (yet continued to eat bacon-wrapped shrimp).

For Martin Luther King, Jr. said “The arc of the universe is long but it bends towards justice.”

Join me on this side of the arc of justice.  If you haven’t had the chance to get to know LGBT people around you, I highly suggest it.  They will bless your lives in new ways.  Listen to their stories.  Hear the struggles they’ve endured.  Know that God will be presence as you listen to each.

I feel that writing this is a bit of a risk.  But, in this life, I feel the necessity to share God’s overflowing love.  That’s the love that brings connection and understanding.  And how wonderful of a world it would be if we could experience this in one another!

I thank all of you who have open my eyes to new types of love.  Let’s keep love outside of the box today, this Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.

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