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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: Church

Single in the Sanctuary- Eating Alone

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Church, church fellowship, Dining alone, divorce, divorced, eating alone, fellowship, Single, single in the sanctuary, unmarried, widows

imageI remember when my sister would see an older man or woman sitting alone. She and my mom would remark how sorry they felt for that elderly person dining by themselves. Maybe there was an energy surrounding them that reflected sadness.

Does there exist a lack of sadness for the thirty or forty year old who eats alone? Did an older person’s more-likely involuntary solitude beg for more empathy? Are younger people looked as having more resilience or is there a mentality out there that we are somehow defective or choose to be alone or fully content in our solitude?

I’ll say this: sometimes solitude is welcomed, even by this extrovert. Nowadays, we have the beauty of smart phones to give us the look of preoccupation in our aloneness. But sometimes the silence of solitude is so overwhelming that I ache from the lack of conversation.

I don’t want to be pitied for my solitude as my life is fairly full. But I wonder: does a person whose age is far greater deserve more empathy? Maybe so- especially if they just recently lost a spouse or partner. While sometimes the only option is eating alone, but do those of us who settle for solo meals sell ourselves short by settling for company-less dinners and lunches?

For faith communities: What can we do as a church so that solo people of all ages have the company they desire for more of their meals?

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Single in the Sanctuary: Blue Easter

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Holidays, Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Childlessness, childlessness at Easter, Church, divorce, Easter, Easter Morning, Easter Worship, family, Family worship, non-traditional family, progressive Christianity, Single, single in the sanctuary, Singlehood, Widowed, young families, young families in church

easter lily2In 2008, I attended Easter morning worship with my mom and dad at a progressive United Church of Christ congregation in the greater St. Louis area.  The sermon was engaging.  The music was magnificent.  Everything about this Easter morning worship was spiritually meaningful.

But I was distracted… and distraught.

Family three rows up.  Family six rows up.  Family in the second from the front row on the other side of the sanctuary and two rows behind me too.  People of approximately my age sitting throughout the church with their spouse and their two or three small children.

And here I was… nearly 35 years old and sitting with my parents on Easter morning sans husband or children.  Even though I was with my lovely parents, I had never felt more alone.  At no point that morning did I feel anyone made me feel bad about being single or childless.  While some people at some congregations may stereotype people in my situation, I absolutely didn’t feel as if people were looking down upon me.

But I was looking down upon myself.  What’s wrong with me?  I would wonder over and over again to myself. Of course, when we are emotionally raw for any reason, it’s easy to place blame upon ourselves.  Life and love hadn’t happened in the way I wanted it to by the age of 35.  It was as simple as that.

Nonetheless, my feelings were very real that morning.  And they threw me for a loop.

Between 2008 and the time I met my boyfriend, I began to make some peace with this singleness in the sanctuary.  But it never became 100% easy, and Easter morning just happens to be one of those times I wonder if I missed out a little by not having children.  Bubbling youth bring about a certain energy into families and congregations, and even those of us who are 85% sure we are fine with not having children get a little emotional when surrounded by what we once wanted.

Which makes me wonder: How can we truly experience the resurrection if we are so distracted by what we don’t have, what we haven’t accomplished and in what ways we don’t fit with our congregations?

Easter morning may be a time when we hope that God will lead us to new life, new possibilities and fresh beginnings.  But there could be people in our congregations that feel like an odd person because they believe their marital status or family structure stands out from the crowd.  They may feel alone even though people surround them in the sanctuary.

Bless them with a greeting, with the peace of Christ, if you see them sitting alone.  Bless them with an request to sit with you as they may feel just a little less alone.  Bless them with an invitation to lunch or coffee hour.

The sealed tomb in which they find themselves in may start to crack open as beams of light begin to find their way beyond the shadows.

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Single in the Sanctuary: The Last Single Girl

07 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Movies, Pop, Pop Culture, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Carrie Bradshaw, Church, mature singles, progressive Christian singles, progressive Christian women, progressive Christianity, SATC, Sex and the City, Sex and the City Movie, Single, single in the sanctuary, singles, The Last Single Girl, young adults

In the 2008 Sex and the City movie, Carrie Bradshaw, 40 years old, gets engaged to longtime love Mr. Big.  The editors at Vogue offer to photograph her in various wedding dresses.  Enid, her editor at Vogue, tells her that the feature will be called “The Last Single Girl.”

“Well, I’m hardly the last single girl,” Carrie exclaims.

Editor Enid replies “No, but 40 is the last age a woman can be photographed in a wedding gown without the unintended Diane Arbus subtext.”

Is Enid implying that the last age a woman is able to wear in a fluffy, tulle-skirted wedding dress is at 40?    Should brides mute their celebratory looks for something more matronly?

And what if we’re not even close to being ready to getting married?  What if we’re over 40 and there’s no proposals on the horizon?  Should we just erase any current Pinterest hopeful board of wedding dresses and begin a new one entitled “the older bride”?

older bride

(By the way… this is what a screenshot of an “older bride” search looks like on Pinterest.  It looks quite Vogue-worthy to me.  And none of these women look like “Old Maids” or “Last Single Girls.”)

So…Does Any of This Matter?

Let’s step away from weddings because I’m sure many of us reading this aren’t ready to get married in the immediate future.  We wonder if society thinks that single women over 40 have transition themselves from vibrant young women to “Old Maids”.  We often inappropriately believe ourselves a rare breed because we didn’t conform to society’s limited expectations and marry before 40.

Yes, there have been times when I feel like I’m the LAST SINGLE GIRL – especially before I met my current boyfriend.  I celebrated my 40th birthday dateless, surrounded by fabulous friends, and filled with a spirit that was well-younger than 40.

Phone Sept 2014 025

See… This is not a girl who was ready to move into the Old Maid category.  

I do look at the lives of my friends, and I’m definitely one of the few never-married single girls.  To see and embrace yourself as one of the LAST SINGLE GIRLS is a difficult realization.  Maybe you’ll think to yourself “When did this happen?  What did I do to arrive at this place now that I’m over 40?”

And, if you’re anything like me, you may look around most churches you’ve attended and feel like the LAST SINGLE GIRL in the church and most contexts in your life… most of the time at least.

I imagine that there will be some of you reading this who feel like the LAST SINGLE GIRL in the world, in the church, in their group of friends and in their families.

It goes without saying… in reality, you are not the LAST SINGLE GIRL.  Hardly!  We are out there in steady numbers!  We are no longer old maids.  We are no longer alone.  We are valid just attempting to live life as fully as possible.  No one is worth any less because of their marital status.

As a clergy member and person who often writes about being a single progressive Christian, I will meet people who have never been married or married around 40 or later.   There are people in our churches who are single of all ages – from 22 to 40 to 65.  And each person is where they are right now for better or worse.   They tell me their stories of meeting their spouse a little later down the road and the bliss of finding a healthy relationship when the time – and their lives – were just right.

It’s not our job as churches to segregate THE LAST SINGLE GIRLS from the rest of our church.  But it’s our job to walk along side of people to bring them comfort in their current status.  It’s our responsibility to integrate them into church life, worship and activities.  And it’s our call to hope with our unmarried sisters and brothers if they yearn to meet a partner in the future.

*****

In the near future, it’s my intention to read the book All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation  by Rebecca Traister.  For more reflections based on the book and how it may impact the way communities of faith relate to unmarried persons, follow me here at michelletorigian.com.

In the meantime, join the conversation on being unmarried and a progressive Christian here.

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Single in the Sanctuary: Joining Together

03 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Pop, Religion, Single in the Sanctuary

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Church, divorce, Jesus Single, Single, single in the sanctuary

7368485794_bb638310ec_bRecently, I began a group for single, divorced, separated, widowed, non-married coupled persons and friends (yes, even married ones!) to come together in conversation to talk about concerns that they may be going through.  I named this group
Single in the Sanctuary: Unmarried Progressive Christians & Friends.

Through various conversations both before and after this group was created, I noticed how people had various negative and positive experiences being in churches as non-married individuals.

Because the institutions have changed greatly since the mid-twentieth century, families look different, churches look different and society has different focuses.  This is the time for us to have these conversations on how the church can better serve people of ALL marital statuses and family structures.

I think a great spot for the conversation to begin to take place is with these questions:

What does it mean to be unmarried in an institution that focuses on families?
In what ways have you felt part of the community even though you are single?
In what ways have you felt lonely or excluded in a church because you have never been or are no longer married?

Would you like to be a part of this conversation?  Maybe you are no longer married, never have been married or got married later in life and have experiences to share?  Join the group here.

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The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary

27 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Religion

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Tags

Church, Fertility, Infertility, Mother's Day, OB/GYN, pregnancy

Here is my latest at the RevGalBlogPals page:

The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary

via The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary.

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The Great Patriotism Divide and Our Churches

03 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Church, diversity in church, flags in church, Independence Day, July 4, Justice, Micah 6:8, patriotic, patriotic hymns in church, patriotism, progressive Christian

I love our country, I love being an American, and I think the United States is a truly beautiful nation.  However, I am a firm believer in the separation of church in our state, and the state in our churches.  I believe that both should cross each other very rarely.

Now, without a doubt, those of us who are Christian leaders should be praying for the health of our nation.  We should be praying for those in power, no matter what party they are.  We should give thanks for the people who have positively shaped this country for what is now is – remembering those who stood for “liberty and justice for all” over the past few centuries.  We should remember those who serve this country and the people within this country – from our service members to our teachers.  Even thanking God through the singing of “America the Beautiful” makes sense to me.

But what is the correct amount of patriotism for us to have in our sanctuaries and embedded in our worship experiences?  And when do we set the patriotic fervor aside to hold our nation accountable for its shortcomings?

When I see Jesus, I didn’t see someone who celebrated Rome.  He challenged both faith communities and the state.  Rome was intimidated by this Jesus; otherwise he wouldn’t have found execution by the Roman state.  Sure, I believe Jesus acknowledged our duty to the state when he told us to give to God what is God and Caesar what is Caesar’s.  But never at any point in the Gospels or other scripture texts does it indicate that he sung songs to celebrate Rome or celebrated its symbols in any fashion.

On one hand, my faith and call dictate that we should hold the state accountable similar to the ways Jesus held the systems accountable in his day.  We should raise up the needs of our country’s people with the passion of the Hebrew prophets.  As a spiritual leader, I have a responsibility to explore this perspective with those I teach.

On the other hand, my faith and call mandate that I hold the hearts of those who value our country and its symbols.  As pastors, we have the responsibility to value the places where our congregants are – both as individuals and as a community.  While every church is different and approaches the patriotic holidays with various amounts of excitement, taking into account their pastoral needs is part of our jobs as clergy. In our churches, our congregants want to hear patriotic songs.  They want to see this country’s flag.  They want to cherish the state in which we live.  As we get to know our congregants we may see that this need is deeply rooted in their souls.

Some of us pastoral leaders do not understand the draw to such patriotism in our worship.  I can tell you this: many of those who want the patriotic elements of worship have pure, beautiful hearts and truly see God’s presence interwoven with our country.

But not every faithful Christian and American feels this way.  For those of you who are reading this who may wonder why spiritual leaders and others do not want patriotic elements in worship, it’s because we believe our focus is on the God of every nation, not just ours.  We believe that the state and its symbols have the potential for becoming another god or distracting us from ours.  And we believe that it’s our place to be prophets in this country, making sure to stand up for the “least of these.”

So many of us church leaders wonder each year, how do we handle the balance of being like Jesus who challenged the broken systems AND the caring for the pastoral needs of our fellow Christians who have pure love for this country?  How can make sure the only god in worship is our God and that the flag and country still remains “under God”?   How do I balance your beliefs and needs with my beliefs and needs?

Within our worship service, could we sing of our love for our country, pray for the needs of our country and world and acknowledge where our country falls short?  Could the sermon celebrate our passion for our country while still challenging the Americans in our pews to do justice?  Can we love ourselves for where we are today AND continue to strive even more to take care of the widow, orphan and aliens?  Can we remember that not everyone is equal and that “liberty and justice for all” is still a dream?

I don’t believe it’s a sin to love our country and state this in front of God.  But I do believe its a sin if we love our country more than or at the exclusion of loving God and our neighbors.

I believe there’s a place for all of us in our churches.  Let us remember the God of the prophets as we celebrate with joy our pluralistic nation.  May we remember that God wants the United States of America to flourish, to be a place where the least of these have a voice and justice.  May we remember that our country has its special gifts but also has its weaknesses too.  And may we remember that God wants all nations to be a place of justice and peace.

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Coveting Thy Neighboring Pastor’s Church

09 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

10 Commandments, Church, Clergy Appreciation Month, Clergy Burnout, Comparison, Competition, Covet, Coveting, Exodus 20, pastor, Pastor Appreciation Month, Pastoral Stress, Stress, Ten Commandments

Clergy: when was the last time you thought to yourself, “If only I could be more like Pastor B or Pastor S? Then I’d have more members/greater attendance/higher giving levels/etc.” For many of us, I can imagine this has crossed our minds at some point in the recent future.

Hmmm… Wouldn’t this be considered coveting?

Re-reading the Ten Commandments reminds us of the taboo of coveting. Exodus 20:17 states “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Granted, we don’t covet many donkeys these days. Yes, some people covet their neighbor’s spouse or significant other (think Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl”). Otherwise, coveting is still part of our culture and who we are. Coveting is competition and to be and have the best. Our advertising driven culture feeds on our tendency to covet. We want bigger houses, fancier cars and the most up-to-date electronic toys. We can’t keep up with the Joneses. We become depressed as we see our lives aren’t in the exact place we planned five or ten years earlier.

And, for those of us who are clergy, coveting begins to bubble within us when we see the success of our fellow pastors.

Coveting in any part of our lives can lead us away from being present in this very moment. It can distract us from the call of God.

What if we realize that we are called to this place for this time and embrace the satisfaction with our current pastorates? What if we took some time to remember that it is God who calls us and that quantitative success isn’t everything? I’m sure this is difficult for some. (NOTE: I’m not advocating for pastors who are being abused in their current setting to remain in their position. No one deserves to feel abused in any situation.)

Clergy friends and church leaders – maybe all of us are called to create some new commandments for ourselves. This is not to clarify us as “sinners,” but to break old patterns of unhealthy thinking.

10 Commandments of Pastoral Coveting
1. I shall not covet another pastor’s church size or worship attendance.
2. I shall not covet another pastor’s gifts and creativity.
3. I shall not covet another pastor’s energy levels.
4. I shall not covet another pastor’s ability to bring in new members or visitors.
5. I shall not covet another pastor’s successful attempts at leading their churches to such-and-such status (i.e. Open and Affirming, Just Peace).
6. I shall not covet another pastor’s compensation package.
7. I shall not covet another church’s location.
8. I shall not covet the number of volunteers my neighbor’s church has.
9. I shall not covet another church’s programs.
10. I shall not covet the size of another church’s youth program or Sunday School.

Reasons why churches grow or programs succeed is more than just the pastor who inspires or creates them. Sometimes it has to do with the location of the church or the context of your community.

Furthermore, chances are there’s another pastor out there who covets what you have. But none of us are perfect. None of us were bestowed every single gift. That’s not how it works. That’s not how God created humans and, specifically, clergy. We are not messiahs of churches nor are we fully to blame for failed programs. We are only asked to try out best and love others the way we want to be loved.

May we find ways to work together instead of working in competition with one another. The more we encourage each other in acknowledging our gifts and cheer each other on as we grow from our mistakes, the stronger we can create God’s kingdom.

Happy Pastor Appreciation Month to all clergy!

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Sermon: Living in the Scarcity Mindset

06 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Religion

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Tags

30 percent mothers, Adam Smith, Capitalism, CEO pay, CEO salaries, Church, diapers, Jeremiah 29, Jesus, living wage, Luke 12, middle class, minimum wage, Parable, Parable of the Rich Fool, Parable of the RIch Man, Poverty, progressive Christianity, Responsible Capitalism, The Powers That Be, Walter Wink

This sermon was delivered on August 4, 2013 at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Road, Cincinnati.

A study was reported this week that 30 percent of mothers have struggled to purchase diapers for their children.  That’s one-third of the mothers in our country.  Instead, she will sometimes reuse a diaper, causing health and developmental issues for the child and extra stresses upon herself. If a woman makes minimum wage, she’s spending six percent of her pay on diapers alone.

Some may suggest cloth diapers.  But many of these women don’t have washers and driers in their household.  Many have to travel to laundromats to wash their clothes.  Travel is time-consuming and costly.

If this mom is on minimum wage, she would need to work about 87-88 hours per week in order to live.  Many people who work hard on minimum wage still need government assistance.

We all hope in the American dream – that ambitious people will climb from poverty to money.  Unfortunately, this is becoming more rare.  Through personal experience, I see how people with money socialize very little with people in poverty.  Imagine a black tie event, or a golf fundraiser.  Each entry is $1000 dollars.  At this event, wealthy people network with other wealthy people giving them more opportunities to make more money, leaving middle class folks like most of us or people in poverty to rarely associate with people of power.

Sure, some believe that people need the incentive to make more money, something that will drive them to be ambitious.  I believe that seeing a CEO making ten times as much money would make people be more ambitious.  Twenty five times as much money would drive people.  Do CEOs need to make a full 273 times the amount of the average worker?  In the booming 60’s, the average CEO made 20 times that of the average worker.  Twenty times seems relatively fair – enough that would drive people to work for more.  But before the recession hit, the ratio for CEO to average worker pay was over 350 times to one.  The person at the top of the pyramid was so heavy with wealth that the rest of the pyramid crashed.

And no matter how much someone makes, whether it’s the CEO or the entry level employee, there is never enough money in each of our lives.  Rich people are afraid they won’t have enough with billions of dollars, just like those in poverty also don’t feel like they have enough, except that the person in poverty struggles each day to keep their head above water.

This isn’t to discourage the average worker from negotiating more from his or her workplace.  Everyone deserves to be paid fairly.  But at what point does the plentitude need to begin to drip a little more from the people in the top tier of workplaces and society to those at the bottom of the pay rungs?  When are they holding back their extreme abundance when the rest of our society struggles?

Jesus knew how to tell a good story to help the rest of us humans see the world in a very different light.  A good portion of what Jesus spoke about in many of his sayings and parables happen to be about loving our neighbor and taking care of the poor.

Extravagant profit seems to be the bottom line when it comes to the rich man in the parable.  Not only does he have enough, he uses his resources to pay for barns to be torn down and new ones to be built just so he can continue to hoard.  This is more than he could ever to expect to use himself, and affluence actually leads him to being lazier in his life.  Remember the saying “the one who dies with the most toys win?”  Well, the man in the parable believed this, except that God calls him out on being a fool.   For God, being rich means extravagantly loving God and loving one’s neighbor.

The lectionary text stops at verse 21 after the parable, but I thought the context of the larger chapter is important to this story and expanded today’s reading.  Jesus then tells his disciples “Do not worry about your life.”  He’s telling them to drop this fear of scarcity of material goods.  There are so many other issues on which to spend our energy.

But maybe we worry because we know we’re living under a system that not everyone is treated fairly and a serious lack of balance.  Maybe we act out of fear that we’ll be living in poverty at some point as well.

Of course, there are many CEOs, business owners, corporations and small businesses with much integrity – who are trying to use their wealth and power to build our societies and humanity.  Unfortunately, we hear much more about corporate greed which is still a huge part of our picture.  In his book The Powers that Be, theologian Walter Wink writes the following:

“According to eighteenth century philosopher of capitalism Adam Smith, businesses exist to serve the general welfare.  Profit is the means, not the end.  It is the reward a business receives for serving the general welfare.  When a business fails to serve the general welfare, Smith insisted, it forfeits its rights to exist.  It is part of the church’s task to remind corporations and businesses that profit is not the ‘bottom line,’ that as creatures of God they have as their divine vocation the achievement of human well-being (Eph 3:10).  They do not exist for themselves.  They were bought with a price (Col. 1:20).  They belong to the God who ordains sufficiency for all.”

Taking care of those in all parts of our society is part of our job as people of God and has been part of humanity’s call since the Old Testament.  Jeremiah 29:7 says “seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.”  When we can keep in mind the success of the whole and of the many, not just the few, our foundation is stronger, and our communities can succeed greater.

For the record, I don’t have a problem with capitalism as long as everyone has a chance to succeed.  But even the best systems, theories and programs have faults.  Like Walter Wink says, “the Powers are good, the Powers are fallen, the Powers need to be redeemed.”  Our system of economics is sorely missing something right now, especially because people who work still need government assistance.  There is seriously something out of balance.  And as a follower of Jesus the Christ and as someone called to be both pastoral and prophetic, I would be failing my call if I didn’t preach on ways to make sure “the least of these” are taken care of.

Like the goods in the barns from today’s parable, the plenitude is not flowing from the rich.  When 30 percent of mothers can’t afford diapers, and people working for minimum wage need to work over 80 hours of week to live when people are making 270 times that amount, it is a conversation that we, as Christians, need to have.  And I know that there are a wide range of perspectives on this issue in this congregation.  Where do we start the conversation?  Where do we start reflecting?

Many of us live in this mindset of scarcity.  This mentality makes us stay silent and frightened.  And today’s text is telling us to go against this nature of worry-only-about-our-selves, to step outside of the scarcity mindset.

When we make decisions about our lives, do we listen for God or do we look at the amount in our bank accounts?  Do we hold back in fear of scarcity or do we spring forward in love and abundance?

Let’s move it another step further – What is God calling us to do as a congregation?  Are we using the earplugs of fear to mute the call of God?  Do we follow God’s call with trust that God will provide time, talent and treasure?

Where do we have abundance?  Maybe we don’t have a large congregation, but God has blessed us with a building.  How is God calling us to use this building to build God’s kingdom?

Too often, we support systems that promote the rich man in Jesus’ parable.  Have we let companies with unfair labor practices know that they are hurting the entire of humanity?  Do we let our pocketbooks decide who has the better labor practice – by spending our money at local businesses that take care of their employees?  If we don’t use our voices, are we are no better off than the rich man in Jesus’ parable?

As we go forward wondering what God’s visions for our world, our community and our church are, we must be willing to stand in faith.  We must be willing to risk, to allow our treasures to be used to grow, to allow our building to be used for the good of our community.  We must be willing to stand against systems where hard working people can’t afford diapers, toiletries, shelter and food.  For when we advocate for the well-being of all, we will find our well-being.

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It Doesn’t Matter What You Wear…

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Music, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Tags

Britney Spears, Church, clothing, Emergent Church, evolution, expression, God, People Magazine, progressive Christianity, style

Photo from People.com

I just read an article on People Magazine’s website that Britney Spears wore thigh high boots and a tight dress as she went to church on Sunday morning.  Her hair wasn’t perfectly pulled-back into a ponytail, and so the article described her style as “messy.”

Could this be another reason why Millenials shy away from church?

Now, the article never notes that the church was judgmental that Spears was wearing this outfit.  But through the media, a stereotype was reinforced: the Sunday church outfit.

Why can’t people wear tight dresses and thigh-high boots to worship?  Or shorts and tank tops?  Do we want the person to come to God the way God has made her or him?  Shouldn’t authentic expression be a part of the way we connect with God?

I wonder if we could get more people into church if we encouraged them to dress the same way they would to go to the movies, the grocery store or the club?

Haven’t we figured out that next generations are more laid-back in their approach to etiquette?  Instead of calling a pastor Reverend Smith like they would in the mid 20th century, we now call her Pastor Jane.  Instead of calling one’s mom Mrs. Smith, we call her Miss Jane.  Instead of wearing a suit and tie to church or work, more people are wearing khakis or jeans.  We TTYL and BRB instead of talking to you later and being right back.  Why does alternative expression have to be a bad thing – whether it’s within the church or in the communities?  Expression has been evolving for centuries, and God’s been in each of those style evolutions.

As churches, we should be evolving as the world evolves and encouraging each person to come as they are instead of covering them in shame.  Otherwise, God and the rest of the world will be leaving churches far, far behind.

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Where the Imperfect and Perfect Meet

07 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Church, God, Grace, Holy Spirit, imperfect, pastors, perfectionism

Reflecting on Sunday mornings as a pastor, I know I try to recall all of the announcements, prayer requests and logistical worship comments. Guess what? Even with writing myself notes I still forget things.

Most of our churches are not crafted like a production. Sure, some larger churches with multiple staff are able to spend more time and focus on the entertainment value of worship. They are able to dedicate more resources on their worship.

Even then, it’s still not perfect. Imperfections are cast in the shadow of the entertaining spectacle.

As much as we hope to be, every one of us pastors must face the reality of our own imperfections. Each and every liturgist, usher/greeter, children’s time deliverer, acolyte, communion steward, choir member and musician are imperfect. A candle will fail to light, a name in Scripture will be mispronounced and the pastor will forget to lift up one of our ill friends during our time of sharing prayers.

Each week, we do the best we can to make sure the focus is on God and our relationship with the Divine. In the process, mistakes will be made. Yes, unfortunately, they will distract from our focus on God. Yet, we continue to do our best, work at our mistakes for the good of God, our neighbors and, of course, the good of ourselves.

No matter how mild or severe the mistake, here’s the thing: God is still present. God is still active. The Holy Spirit continues to inspire, and God is still worshiped. No matter what little (or big) mistakes we make along the way, God still loves us and showers us with grace. God will never fail to meet us as we worship no matter how bad the preaching, singing or praying is in our congregations.

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