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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: expression

It’s Time to Reframe Love’s Look

17 Sunday May 2020

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Pop, Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, expression, Love, Social Distancing

social-distancing-4992164_1920

I’ve been thinking about what love has meant to me in the first 47 years of my life.  Signs of affection and respect meant hugs and handshakes, respectively.  It meant being close to people – placing an arm around someone or a pat on the back when they’ve needed extra encouragement.

As a pastor and because of appropriate boundaries, there are firmer boundaries when it comes to expressing care to those in our congregation.  Holding the hand of someone who is struggling, placing a hand on the shoulder, giving a congregant a handshake, and, if they initiated, maybe a slight hug would have been in the boundaries.  But none of these are in the bounds of appropriate contact anymore.

Now, love and care must be expressed differently.  Love no longer includes sharing hugs and handshakes with the ones we care about.  We can’t share these acts of affection at church or with family.  Even someone like me who keeps firm boundaries with many can’t hold the hand of someone struggling with intense grief.

And that is mind-blowing to our twenty-first century brains.

How can we rewire our brains to affirm that staying away means love?  How can we reframe the whole concept of physical touching and close proximity as a negative approach to loving our friends and neighbors?  Of course, the very closest people to us we will probably always give hugs.  But this won’t be common as we welcome our professional contacts and friends.

Each time I watch Pride and Prejudice (the 1995 version with Colin Firth, of course), I’m intrigued by the way they would greet one another.  There wouldn’t be many handshakes and definitely no hugging.  But they would bow and curtsy when greeting another person.  It seemed formal, yet in today’s world, this would be in the scope of what could be allowed.

So whether we decide to bow or curtsy, place our hands over our hearts or give a peace sign, we need to work on embracing our fondness and respect for people from afar.  We are called to accept this opposite-concept in the next year or two as we begin to emerge from our quarantine cocoons and wait for a vaccine or new treatments to COVID-19.  Close physical distance no longer means love.  We are turning everything we know about welcoming and hospitality on it heads.  Yet maybe by loving from afar, we will save lives.  We will attempt to keep the ones we love well.  We will discover what are the most important ways to express love and concern.  And by doing so, we remain healthy too.

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A Prayer When I Want to Scream Out My Grief

29 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by mictori in grief, Life, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

expression, expression of grief, grief, loss of father, loss of loved one, loss of parent, Prayer, Prayers, prayers for grief, scream, screaming

woman-2377068_1920God, whose presence vibrates between my vocal chords,
Yesterday, I wanted to SCREAM.

I’m not exactly sure what possessed my soul to enter the shadows-
I was standing in the glue aisle at the craft store-
But in that moment of retail therapy
All I wanted to do was scream!
And cry!
And stomp my feet!
And jump up and down!

Glue-shopping usually doesn’t do this to people – nor to me.
But my inner two year old was wrestling with the things I can no longer have.

It wasn’t the first time I was in a craft store after Dad had passed.
Nor was it the first time I was buying adhesives.
But as evening was swallowing the day
Grief swallowed my emotional boundaries.

God, may my screams be internal.
May they not be eternal.
May my desire for screams melt into tears.

And if I need to scream-
Help me to find a serene open space that will welcome my vocal punches.

Amen.

*****

My father passed away on September 18, 2017 after a sudden illness. In the coming days, more prayers and posts which I’ve written recently or that I will be writing will be included on this blog.

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It Doesn’t Matter What You Wear…

05 Monday Aug 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Music, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Britney Spears, Church, clothing, Emergent Church, evolution, expression, God, People Magazine, progressive Christianity, style

Photo from People.com

I just read an article on People Magazine’s website that Britney Spears wore thigh high boots and a tight dress as she went to church on Sunday morning.  Her hair wasn’t perfectly pulled-back into a ponytail, and so the article described her style as “messy.”

Could this be another reason why Millenials shy away from church?

Now, the article never notes that the church was judgmental that Spears was wearing this outfit.  But through the media, a stereotype was reinforced: the Sunday church outfit.

Why can’t people wear tight dresses and thigh-high boots to worship?  Or shorts and tank tops?  Do we want the person to come to God the way God has made her or him?  Shouldn’t authentic expression be a part of the way we connect with God?

I wonder if we could get more people into church if we encouraged them to dress the same way they would to go to the movies, the grocery store or the club?

Haven’t we figured out that next generations are more laid-back in their approach to etiquette?  Instead of calling a pastor Reverend Smith like they would in the mid 20th century, we now call her Pastor Jane.  Instead of calling one’s mom Mrs. Smith, we call her Miss Jane.  Instead of wearing a suit and tie to church or work, more people are wearing khakis or jeans.  We TTYL and BRB instead of talking to you later and being right back.  Why does alternative expression have to be a bad thing – whether it’s within the church or in the communities?  Expression has been evolving for centuries, and God’s been in each of those style evolutions.

As churches, we should be evolving as the world evolves and encouraging each person to come as they are instead of covering them in shame.  Otherwise, God and the rest of the world will be leaving churches far, far behind.

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