A Lament for Constant Anxiety

29 Monday Apr 2024

Posted by mictori in grief, Health, Life, Pop, Prayers

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anxiety, God, grief, Mental health, people, people pleasing, people-pleasing, pleasing, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity

Divine Deliverer of All Beings,

As the vibrations under my skin reach unheard of levels,
And my heart shivers at the state of the outside world,
I curse my mind and all of its thoughts as it drags me down a shadow-filled road.

Oh mind, you think of everything,
Yes all the good, and all the ideas,
Blessings of creativity and newness of plans!
For this, Steadfast God, I am forever grateful!

Yet, as my brain connects A and B, left and right, red and green,
It births horrors and creates day-mares.
What will go wrong? Who is it that isn’t happy?
What could fail or fall tomorrow… or later today?
What streaks of messiness will it create next?

God, I know you have given me my brain.
It’s beautiful and gifted and gives me what I need.
But there are spinoffs and offshoots from the synapses-
Paving me sparkly roads of people pleasing,
Creating curvy roads of perfectionism.

And yet I still thank you for my brain,
The constant working – even the overfunctioning of its synapses.
For with the disastrous thoughts there are many good.
For with the messiness, there is love.
For with the anxiety, there is care.
This blessed brain is needed here.

Amen.

Photo by KeilaSmile24 on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/ai-generated-think-mind-man-alone-8584099/

A Prayer for Over Caffeination

22 Wednesday Mar 2023

Posted by mictori in Lent Prayers, Life, Prayers

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anxiety, caffeine, coffee, Coffee Prayer, energy, over caffeinated, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity

God of Boundless Energy,

Today, I had too much caffeine.
My heart is fluttering.
I am about to bounce off of the walls.

I overestimated the my body’s response to this morning’s cuppa joe.

God, I appear to be speaking a mile a minute.
As my hands type, they shake.

I confess to allowing my body to be off balance.
The choice I made were not exactly horrible, but slightly unhealthy.

But while I have this extra energy,
May I serve the church and this world more faithfully.
May spend my uber-focus time on what you need
Before this afternoon’s big crash arrives
And I’m left staring at instead of bouncing off of walls.

Amen.

A Less Fatalistic Ash Wednesday

02 Wednesday Mar 2022

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Lent Prayers

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anxiety, Ash Wednesday, COVID-19, Endometriosis, Fear of death, Lent, Pandemic, progressive Christianity, Ukraine, war

Today happened to be another Ash Wednesday in which I was home-bound on medical leave.

Once again, like in the past, I was dealing with endometriosis. The pain was increasing even though I was menopausal, and the hysterectomy proved that there was a lot of rogue endometrial tissue in my pelvic region. I’m on medical leave and not able to lead worship as I take time to heal.

Which brings me to this year’s Ash Wednesday. After two weeks of lying in bed, doom-scrolling news about the invasion of Ukraine and heightened nuclear alert in our world, the worst thing right now is to remind someone who is deathly afraid of death that she will die. (Obviously, there are many dying in Ukraine from this senseless war- and something for us to discuss another day.) I worried about what could go wrong prior to the surgery (as always), and I dealt with two years of pandemic concerns. The last thing I want to hear through sacred liturgy is that I’m going to die.

I know this with every fiber of my being. My anxiety reminds me each day that death could be imminent.

So for this year, I work to establish a different relationship with the ashes.

First of all, everything is fleeting. And this should include my worries. My concerns should be no more than the weight of the ashes which could easily be blown away by the wind. Easier said than done, but it’s worth the effort.

Secondly, as I begin Kate Bowler’s Good Enough devotional book, I’m reminded of my imperfections. The ashes remind me of an imperfect self and the need to embrace a self that works to try her best rather than attain the impossible.

I refuse to rid myself of Ash Wednesday. But the day was not always ours to dwell on death but focus on what continues to be the greatest priorities while we are alive: loving one another as Christ loved us; doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God.

And today my focus won’t be nuclear war, health issues, or pandemics, but my growing relationship with God.

A Prayer on National Stress Awareness Day

03 Wednesday Nov 2021

Posted by mictori in grief, Life, National Day Prayers

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anxiety, anxiety disorder, National Day Prayers, National Stress Awareness Day, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity, Stress, Stress Awareness Day, tension

Divine Source of Relaxation-

The tension rises into my forehead. Is that where this headache is coming from? The aches in my stomach are new and gnawing. And, God, what is this pain going up my neck? Is it because my shoulders are up by my ears?

Stress has been my unwanted companion for so long. But why is it I wont take the time to deep breathe, to meditate, to walk around the block?

So my mind keeps churning and turning and worrying.

God of each inhale and exhale, be my source of chilling out. Encourage me to find time to release the stress this day and each day hereafter.

Amen.

The first Wednesday in November is Stress Awareness Day.

Easter 2A in Quarantine: Peace Be With You

14 Tuesday Apr 2020

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Liturgy, Pop, Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers

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anxiety, Coronavirus, COVID-19, John 20, Liturgy, Matthew 8, peace, Peace Be With You, Quarantine

light-sea-dawn-landscape-33582

Entry into Worship
Peace floats on the breezes
And peace sails on the calm waters.
Peace is heard in the dove’s coos
And in a child’s laughter.
Today, we pray for peace-
A peace which transcends the restlessness in our world,
A peace which fills our souls with hope.

Invocation
Divine Architect of Peace, the waves of anxiety crash upon us daily. Will we have enough? Will we survive? When will “normal” return? We are riding the swells of the emotional seas. God of Peace, in this great storm of life, calm the waters. In the howling wilderness, settle the gusts. For you are our source of peace, our deliverer of serenity. Amen.

Prayer of Reconciliation
Holy Tranquility, we listen to the news instead of seeking your serenity. We read article after article instead of meditating upon your presence. Your child spoke “Peace be with you,” and we turned our backs. Help us to focus on the hope of resurrection and renewal instead of the world’s destructive preoccupations. May we focus our care in ways that are constructive for our neighbors across this community, country, and world during this pandemic and times of isolation. May we turn our worry into acts of mercy and justice. Encourage us to seek help for overwhelming anxiety so that we can live whole and healthy lives. Amen.

Assurance of Grace
Even when we turn our backs to God’s peace, God continues to send holy calmness in our direction. May we continue to open our souls to this steadfast peace which already surrounds us. Amen!

Reflection on Giving
In this season of uncertainty, we often want to hide in the caves of scarcity. Instead, God calls for us to give in a spirit of abundance. Through these gifts, we are able to reach many people outside of the church’s walls. Through these treasures, our mission continues – even when the world slows down.

With hearts of hope and openness, we pray together…

Divine Tranquility, may we embrace your steadfast peace. Through your peace, may we confidently give our treasures, talent, and time in order for the work of the church to continue. Through your peace, may our congregation utilize these gifts wisely to reach a world filled with anxiety and uncertainty and to share your hope and love. Amen.

Benediction
As this morning starts a new week, may we embrace the peace of God-
A peace which will carry us through moments of turmoil,
A peace which will connect us with God and neighbor,
A peace which will ask us to be still, and get to know God,
A peace which surpasses our understanding.
May the hope of God, the peace of Christ, and the love of the Spirit
chase away despair and encourage us to embrace divine serenity.
Amen!

Written by Rev. Michelle L. Torigian. Feel free to use/adapt this liturgy with attribution.

Mental Health Litany of Wholeness

29 Saturday Feb 2020

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Health, Liturgy, Pop

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Addiction, anxiety, depression, Health, John 14, Litany, Liturgy, Mental health, Mental Health Issues, mental health worship, Panic disorder, PTSD, wellness

Scripture John 14:26-27

One: “The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. 27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

Entry into Healing

One: When the world is topsy turvy around me, and I can’t see reality clearly. When the medications haven’t clicked in, and I find myself in a manic state, or when depression is weighing me down. Is this a panic attack coming on?!?

(Sets a medicine bottle on altar/table)