Category Archives: Pop

Coveting Thy Neighboring Pastor’s Church

09 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion

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Clergy: when was the last time you thought to yourself, “If only I could be more like Pastor B or Pastor S? Then I’d have more members/greater attendance/higher giving levels/etc.” For many of us, I can imagine this has crossed our minds at some point in the recent future.

Hmmm… Wouldn’t this be considered coveting?

Re-reading the Ten Commandments reminds us of the taboo of coveting. Exodus 20:17 states “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Granted, we don’t covet many donkeys these days. Yes, some people covet their neighbor’s spouse or significant other (think Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl”). Otherwise, coveting is still part of our culture and who we are. Coveting is competition and to be and have the best. Our advertising driven culture feeds on our tendency to covet. We want bigger houses, fancier cars and the most up-to-date electronic toys. We can’t keep up with the Joneses. We become depressed as we see our lives aren’t in the exact place we planned five or ten years earlier.

And, for those of us who are clergy, coveting begins to bubble within us when we see the success of our fellow pastors.

Coveting in any part of our lives can lead us away from being present in this very moment. It can distract us from the call of God.

What if we realize that we are called to this place for this time and embrace the satisfaction with our current pastorates? What if we took some time to remember that it is God who calls us and that quantitative success isn’t everything? I’m sure this is difficult for some. (NOTE: I’m not advocating for pastors who are being abused in their current setting to remain in their position. No one deserves to feel abused in any situation.)

Clergy friends and church leaders – maybe all of us are called to create some new commandments for ourselves. This is not to clarify us as “sinners,” but to break old patterns of unhealthy thinking.

10 Commandments of Pastoral Coveting
1. I shall not covet another pastor’s church size or worship attendance.
2. I shall not covet another pastor’s gifts and creativity.
3. I shall not covet another pastor’s energy levels.
4. I shall not covet another pastor’s ability to bring in new members or visitors.
5. I shall not covet another pastor’s successful attempts at leading their churches to such-and-such status (i.e. Open and Affirming, Just Peace).
6. I shall not covet another pastor’s compensation package.
7. I shall not covet another church’s location.
8. I shall not covet the number of volunteers my neighbor’s church has.
9. I shall not covet another church’s programs.
10. I shall not covet the size of another church’s youth program or Sunday School.

Reasons why churches grow or programs succeed is more than just the pastor who inspires or creates them. Sometimes it has to do with the location of the church or the context of your community.

Furthermore, chances are there’s another pastor out there who covets what you have. But none of us are perfect. None of us were bestowed every single gift. That’s not how it works. That’s not how God created humans and, specifically, clergy. We are not messiahs of churches nor are we fully to blame for failed programs. We are only asked to try out best and love others the way we want to be loved.

May we find ways to work together instead of working in competition with one another. The more we encourage each other in acknowledging our gifts and cheer each other on as we grow from our mistakes, the stronger we can create God’s kingdom.

Happy Pastor Appreciation Month to all clergy!

Veering from the Christian Brand

11 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Movies, Music, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Television

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I’ve never been one to follow the “Christian” brand.

Sure, I’ve read a few of the Left Behind books, seen one or two Kirk Cameron movies and listened to some Michael W. Smith in my time. (I actually still like those Michael W. Smith songs from the early 90’s.)

I never dated on the Christian website, mostly because quite a few of the men want “traditional” women. (Being a female member of the clergy and a feminist, I’m far from traditional.) I stay away from Christian programming because it seems preaching, self-righteous and judgmental.

My primary reason is that I like flawed characters with growing edges. I don’t want to see a character that starts believing in Jesus, and then immediately everything is perfectly resolved. Life doesn’t work that way. My faith is a journey with God. Some days are strong and others are weaker. Just like every other human, I’m flawed – and looking for ways to continue to grow closer to God.

In Christian pop culture, I often see easy resolutions and life in polarities. Good or bad. Clean or unclean. There is no grayscale. There is no flawed Christian who is born again.

And Christian pop culture makes it seem like there’s one Christian theology, one view of salvation, one type of relationship with Jesus. But my beliefs are far from that.

I don’t call God “father” unless I also refer to God as “mother.” I’m not “born again” but I find resurrections in my faith each day. I believe everyone goes to God at death – whether they are Christian, another faith or no faith at all. I believe in a woman’s right to choose and gay marriage.

I don’t follow the typical Christian mold. So why would I follow Christian pop culture that predominantly supports this way of thinking?

You will find me watching shows of flawed clergy (The Vicar of Dibley, Rev., The Book of Daniel). You will find me listening to music with implicit spiritual reference and reflections of the Divine (Peter Gabriel, Van Morrison, U2). You will find me viewing movies with challenging theological themes that force each of us to look at Christianity differently (Saved!, Dogma, The Last Temptation of Christ). I am authentically living my faith by looking for the Divine in mainstream, edgy culture rather than crisp clean “Christian” mediums. As I believe God is everywhere, God also abides in the edgiest of situations.

I think that’s where Jesus was too. He could have hung out with the clean people of faith but, instead, hung out with those on the margins – those who society and religion deemed unclean. By recognizing the Jesus who hung out on the margins, I know I am called to shine a light on the Divine in the unlikeliest of places.

HuffPost Religion Article: Jesus, Healing and Grace-Filled Gray Areas

29 Thursday Aug 2013

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HuffPost Religion Article: Jesus, Healing and Grace-Filled Gray Areas

Here’s my latest article on the Huffington Post Religion Page

A Meal with the Past

18 Sunday Aug 2013

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Who knew a Cheerios commercial could stir something within me and theologically warm in my heart…

The commercial features young boy asking his mom if Nana poured Cheerios for her when she was young.  Her mom used to eat Cheerios with her

Maybe communion hasn’t quite been exactly the same for two thousand years like Cheerios has been the same since it was invented.  There have been lots of rules added and removed.  The quality of bread is different from denomination to denomination.  Some of us walk to the front to receive our elements and others pass the elements from person to person while sitting in the pews.  But one element remains the same – we come to the table to partake in a meal in remembrance of Jesus, and in doing so communion “has pretty much been the same forever.”

And then the little boy asks his mom: “So when we have Cheerios, it’s kind of like we’re having breakfast with Nana.”  (Anyone else besides me get a little choked up at this point of the commercial?)

As this past Sunday’s Hebrews 12 lectionary text says, “we are surrounded by so a great cloud of witnesses,” communion reminds us of our connection to the generations of yesterday.  In our time at the table, we recall what Jesus said: that in the sharing of this meal, we remember him.  And as we remember him, we also remember all those who shared the same meal – our parents, grandparents and so forth.

When I go to the communion table, I share the meal with Jesus the Christ, with great theologians with whom I agree and disagree and with friends and enemies.  I share the table with the rich and the poor, the criminal and the innocent.  And I also share the communion table with my Grandad Lawrence, my Grandma Queenie, my Medshireke Fred and my Memama Margaret.  I share the table with their parents and countless generations who have gone before them.  I share the table with my Mom and Dad – whether they are in my church that day or not.  I share the table with people who have not yet been born for ten, twenty or one hundred years.

It’s pretty amazing when we realize that each time we go to the communion table, it’s “kind of like having breakfast with Nana” and people from every time and age.

It Doesn’t Matter What You Wear…

05 Monday Aug 2013

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Photo from People.com

I just read an article on People Magazine’s website that Britney Spears wore thigh high boots and a tight dress as she went to church on Sunday morning.  Her hair wasn’t perfectly pulled-back into a ponytail, and so the article described her style as “messy.”

Could this be another reason why Millenials shy away from church?

Now, the article never notes that the church was judgmental that Spears was wearing this outfit.  But through the media, a stereotype was reinforced: the Sunday church outfit.

Why can’t people wear tight dresses and thigh-high boots to worship?  Or shorts and tank tops?  Do we want the person to come to God the way God has made her or him?  Shouldn’t authentic expression be a part of the way we connect with God?

I wonder if we could get more people into church if we encouraged them to dress the same way they would to go to the movies, the grocery store or the club?

Haven’t we figured out that next generations are more laid-back in their approach to etiquette?  Instead of calling a pastor Reverend Smith like they would in the mid 20th century, we now call her Pastor Jane.  Instead of calling one’s mom Mrs. Smith, we call her Miss Jane.  Instead of wearing a suit and tie to church or work, more people are wearing khakis or jeans.  We TTYL and BRB instead of talking to you later and being right back.  Why does alternative expression have to be a bad thing – whether it’s within the church or in the communities?  Expression has been evolving for centuries, and God’s been in each of those style evolutions.

As churches, we should be evolving as the world evolves and encouraging each person to come as they are instead of covering them in shame.  Otherwise, God and the rest of the world will be leaving churches far, far behind.

Churches in the Tomb

24 Wednesday Jul 2013

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Completely void of light. Darkness envelops us. There is no way to our old lives, but we can’t find our way to resurrection…

I wonder if many of our churches are stuck in the tomb. Holy Saturday won’t end and we continue to wake up each day as if resurrection will never come to fruition.

We can no longer go back to the way we used to do things. Sure, our former ways of living was enjoyable, familiar and gave us great strength. But the church is like the pre-death Jesus: it will never come again. Have we taken the time to grieve for our old ways? Do we actually believe there is new life and that new life means completely letting our old lives go?

Rolling back the stone to the entrance to the tomb and grasping resurrection takes courage. It’s allowing ourselves to give the past to yesterday and take very little with us into the future. In dying and exiting the tomb, we are setting aside the hard-heartedness that comes with loss and walking into the sunlight with faith.

Life rarely thrives in damp, shadowy caves. Many plants need sunlight to flourish. Likewise, leaving behind the tomb for the lighted resurrection world will give our churches a chance to grow.

What will we leave behind in the tomb as a church (individual congregation, denomination and Mainline Protestantism) in order for us to spring up in the bright beams of resurrection? How can living into resurrection create a spirit of thriving?

General Synod Lesson #2 – – Seeing the True Diversity of the UCC

02 Tuesday Jul 2013

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There is no one unified Christianity. (Note: There never has been. See Christian history.)

Now, others in the faith believe there is one true belief. There is one way to salvation. There is one way to relationships. There is one way to handle situations. There is one way to look at the Divine, Christ and Communion.

Not so.

When it comes down to it, our experiences become our filter. No one person can see the way another one can. Our race, gender, class, sexual orientation, disabilities, education and a number of other filters the way we process our beliefs and see the world.

When I sit here seeing these resolutions debated, whether because of the content or alphabetizing a list, I don’t see complete uniformity.

And I thank my God for this.

In many of our communities, there is a misconception. Those in our churches often see “the UCC supports” in newspaper articles and other press materials. But this isn’t fully true. The United Church of Christ gathers together to vote on issues. Some of these issues have much disagreement. When the UCC takes a stand on issues, it has taken their stance from a resolution at a previous General Synod. The majority has affirmed the position, but it never represents all UCC churches or congregants.

As I sit here, I know there is a great diversity of people sitting around me. I thank God for this. It forces me to open my eyes to the experiences of my neighbors. It forces me to reevaluate my beliefs and strengthen my position on issues. But sitting here, I am forced to keep in mind that those who oppose what I believe are humans. I see their faces. They are part of the Body of Christ along side of me.

If you ever get the chance to attend the UCC General Synod or the assembly of your denomination’s believers, take it. Your eyes will be opened to the relational God in your midst. You’ll see a denomination which reflects a diversity of beliefs. If you are open to celebrating your faith with a wide diversity of neighbors (and awareness that we are all made in God’s image), you will most likely feel that the United Church of Christ is for you. We reflect the true diversity of Christianity in a spirit of unity.

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General Synod Lesson #1 – – You Can’t Do Everything!

29 Saturday Jun 2013

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Here I am at the United Church of Christ General Synod day 2. Exhaustion is already coming upon me, but I think much of it is due to time change. Or maybe it’s information overload. Anyway, I’m cherishing the time I have here as many, many of my friends are present.

What makes me sad is that I’m realizing I can do everything. I can’t be everywhere.

Times conflict. From wanting to go to two workshops during our 2030 event on Thursday to wondering which workshop I should go to this afternoon, I wish I could do more. Learning is one of the primary reasons I come to Synod. And I must choose which topics I am most passionate and in need of more information. Yesterday, I chose an intensive workshop on women’s equality issues. I would have loved to have gone to the workshop on taking care of our veterans, but for me, women’s issues are my number one passion. As a 2030 friend reminded a number of us the other day: “You can’t do everything at Synod.”

So I’m going to miss workshops that my friends are facilitating. And I’m going to miss workshops on fascinating topics. That’s life. I think the sooner we accept that we can’t be two places at once, the smoother life may go.

I remember a story in the Bible where Jesus was going to heal a young person when he was interrupted. When he got to the house, the young person had died. Likewise, when his friend Lazarus was ill he was working on other things. People weren’t exactly happy when Jesus came late, but he was human, and did the best he could.

Each of us at Synod will do the best we can connecting with friends, bringing new information to our churches and participating. We are giving 100 percent of the energy we have. We wish we could give more. But our bodies and brains are human. We pray that we remember that the spirit is always willing but the flesh is weak.

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General Synod – – The Adventure Begins!

28 Friday Jun 2013

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I am at Opening Plenary of the 29th General Synod of the United Church of Christ. I’ll be updating this blog with some photos and thoughts throughout Synod. Follow me on Twitter @mictori or follow the UCC General Synod at #uccgs29.

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Shame is Humanity’s Worst Illness

20 Thursday Jun 2013

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Recently, Melissa Etheridge called out Angelina Jolie’s choice to have a double-mastectomy as “fearful.” Etheridge commented that nutrition and stress cause cancer to begin in the body.

Unfortunately, Etheridge did nothing to help the stigma that already comes with cancer. Sure, not all cancers have stigmas. But when we hear that someone has cancer, often the first thing that comes to our mind was “they took care of themselves” or “they didn’t take good enough care of themselves.”

Through Ethridge’s words, shame was imposed upon someone else’s tough choice.

Shame and stigma seeps into each part of our daily lives, from our meal choices, to how we parent, to how we schedule our day.

According to the Bible, it didn’t take humans long to experience shame. Just one mistake and shame became so embedded in their souls. They experienced the shame even before God called them out on their actions.

Life is full of regrets. Of course, we should always continue to reevaluate our actions to make sure we aren’t damaging our neighbors, creation or ourselves. But, at some point, shame becomes so deeply a part of who we are that it holds us back from enjoying life and relationships.

As we continuously live under the umbrella of shame, whether our own or the shame we impose on others, we will never find the good enough in our lives. There is no room for grace or mercy. There is only room to live in perfection.

Perfection will never happen.

Jesus tried to banish shame when he touched the unclean. Yet, that message has not stuck well with Christians. If it had, people wouldn’t look down upon those with HIV/AIDS, STD’s or a variety of other “lifestyle” acquiring diseases. Jesus showered the woman at the well with grace and, yet, we manage to continue to shame people who have had divorces or multiple marriages. (Take for instance a comment recently made about Kate Winslet on being pregnant with her third child by a third husband.)

I remember in my seminary New Testament class with Stephen Patterson that he mentioned disease was the physical ailment and illness was the social stigma that accompanied many illnesses. While we may not look at the exact same things as unclean in the 21st century, we still have shame and stigmas associated with behavior and appearances.

Does it matter that someone had a child out of wedlock or got divorced? Does it matter that the person at the fast food restaurant is overweight? Does it matter that someone caught an illness because of an action or choice they made? Why do we shame women who breast feed or don’t breast feed? Why do we shame women for becoming stay-at-home moms or working full time? (And why is so much shame pour out on women?) Isn’t it tough for each of us to live day-to-day that maybe we should grant others a little bit of grace and mercy that we, ourselves, have also received?