This post is based on a sermon delivered at St. Paul United Church of Christ on July 27, 2014.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. ~~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
It was a cinematic grand romantic gesture that has been spoken about and referred to in pop culture throughout the past 25 years. In the movie Say Anything, Lloyd Dobler, played by John Cusack, stands outside of his ex-girlfriend’s window at dawn holding a boombox over his head, playing the song “In Your Eyes,” in the attempt to win her back.
The act has been imitated in pop culture again and again. It’s a very sweet deed. Maybe a teen or twentysomething would think that this is the greatest act of love, and as a young person, we would expect someone to hold up a boombox outside of our window to win us over. Maybe at 16, when this movie was released, I would have believed that this was the ultimate act and display of love.
But is this love? And why do we see this surface love in so many movies and pop culture references?
Let’s move from the grand gesture of standing outside of a window with a boombox overhead to the song that’s playing on that boombox. A few years before the movie came out, musician Peter Gabriel released the song “In Your Eyes” which was featured in that scene.
The lyrics of the song resound a love that goes deeper into the heart of God, a love that’s more than a grand romantic gesture:
“In your eyes
The light, the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway
To a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution
In your eyes
Of all the fruitless searches
Oh, I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes”
Both this song and today’s scripture are reminders of this complete self that exists in God’s eyes, and the hope to see each other through God’s grace-filled, unconditional loving lens.
Today’s text is one that is often read at weddings. It was probably read at many of your weddings and if not, you have undoubtedly heard it at a wedding. Unfortunately, the most important part, at least in my belief, is often left out. Some people stop reading the text at the point where it says “love never ends.” To me, the most sacred part follows this. The text reads: “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.” I believe this is an extremely important piece of scripture to be read at every wedding. It’s a great reminder to a couple that you won’t see each other as God sees you all of the time, and it’s something you’ll have to work at over and over again. In this lifetime, we see God, our neighbors and ourselves through that dimly lit mirror.
Granted, true unconditional love is patient and kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. But there is something deeper about this love that we are called to have – not only with our significant other but with all people. It’s a love we can experience when we use God’s lens in seeing one another.
The second most important piece of this text, again in my belief, is the verse “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.” The love we experience and give will transform over time. Sure grand romantic gestures are a wonderful and refreshing surprise in a relationship – even in a marriage after 25 or 40 years. But our understanding of love continues to evolve as we grow and as we continue to set aside our childish ways. When we are a young person, we think love is the feeling we have when we fall in infatuation the first time. We want to hold boomboxes over our heads as we proclaim to the world how we feel about this person. But love is much much more than a feeling. Our view of love continues to transform from fireworks going off in our hearts to something deeper – a relationship which indicates that we are trying to see the other person from the lens of God’s unconditional love.
The third most significant piece of this text in my view is the verse “It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The amount of hope that is in this verse can transform any type of relationship from one that could fall apart to one where possibilities can happen. Looking through the eyes of God to our loved one, our neighbor, a stranger and our enemy brings about possibilities that we may never thought were possible, including healing and peace.
In our marriages and all sorts of relationships, we’re going to mess up. We’re going to be our awkward, messy selves. The question is: will the people who matter see us as God sees us? Over time, we realize that in our health and in our illnesses, people show us love. In our deepest grief and in our greatest celebrations, people are around to love us. Love is greater than the chaos in our lives. The people who see us in just the slightest way God sees us will stick by us in almost any situation. They will see a more complete version of ourselves
The reaches of love as refer to by Paul extend to all sorts of relationships. From that of a married couple to the relationship between Christian brothers and sisters, this love is one that calls for us to look through the lens of God’s eyes, to continue to grow in the way we look at love and to hold on to hope even when relationships seem hurt or broken.
How have you looked at someone through the eyes of God recently? How did it change your view of them? How have you looked at your spouse or significant other lately? What about your children, other family members or friends? And how about the person you can not stand? If you were to close your eyes right now and put on your God-glasses, how could your relationships grow stronger?
Yes, God is the God of romantic gestures, of boomboxes overhead as music plays at dawn to woo a lost love. God is the God who would hold the boombox outside of our window to draw us to Her or Him. God is the God of weddings, of romantic moments that refresh us and first loves.
And God is the God of dimly lit times in marriages and shadow-filled friendships, of sickness and bad times, in poverty and loss. God is the creator of hope and endurance in our relationship journeys. God is the one who helps us see that we are complete in each others eyes.
May we embrace the romantic love of youth and the deep love that we find in the dimly lit spaces. And may you find the lens of God to see others as God sees all of us. Amen.
By National Park Service (National Park Service [1] [2]) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
God of all citizens and residents and aliens and visitors,
The excitement pours out of the hearts of those who desire to make this home.
The nerves jump as they wonder what the future holds
And the time to interview gets closer and closer.
May rocky nerves be smooth as pebbles
And may their vocal chords vibrate coherent answers.
God, you walk with us on every path
From the northern border to the southern states
And on both sides of the equator.
You are everywhere.
You are here.
So on this path today-
As information is asked and given,
And tests are taken,
And worries are high,
And butterflies wrestle in tummies-
We know you are there drawing the very best out of us.
Whether we are citizens or visitors, aliens or residents,
Call us to serve our communities, nation and world
with integrity, passion and love. Amen.
Dedicated to my mom on her citizenship interview today, July 10, 2014.
I love our country, I love being an American, and I think the United States is a truly beautiful nation. However, I am a firm believer in the separation of church in our state, and the state in our churches. I believe that both should cross each other very rarely.
Now, without a doubt, those of us who are Christian leaders should be praying for the health of our nation. We should be praying for those in power, no matter what party they are. We should give thanks for the people who have positively shaped this country for what is now is – remembering those who stood for “liberty and justice for all” over the past few centuries. We should remember those who serve this country and the people within this country – from our service members to our teachers. Even thanking God through the singing of “America the Beautiful” makes sense to me.
But what is the correct amount of patriotism for us to have in our sanctuaries and embedded in our worship experiences? And when do we set the patriotic fervor aside to hold our nation accountable for its shortcomings?
When I see Jesus, I didn’t see someone who celebrated Rome. He challenged both faith communities and the state. Rome was intimidated by this Jesus; otherwise he wouldn’t have found execution by the Roman state. Sure, I believe Jesus acknowledged our duty to the state when he told us to give to God what is God and Caesar what is Caesar’s. But never at any point in the Gospels or other scripture texts does it indicate that he sung songs to celebrate Rome or celebrated its symbols in any fashion.
On one hand, my faith and call dictate that we should hold the state accountable similar to the ways Jesus held the systems accountable in his day. We should raise up the needs of our country’s people with the passion of the Hebrew prophets. As a spiritual leader, I have a responsibility to explore this perspective with those I teach.
On the other hand, my faith and call mandate that I hold the hearts of those who value our country and its symbols. As pastors, we have the responsibility to value the places where our congregants are – both as individuals and as a community. While every church is different and approaches the patriotic holidays with various amounts of excitement, taking into account their pastoral needs is part of our jobs as clergy. In our churches, our congregants want to hear patriotic songs. They want to see this country’s flag. They want to cherish the state in which we live. As we get to know our congregants we may see that this need is deeply rooted in their souls.
Some of us pastoral leaders do not understand the draw to such patriotism in our worship. I can tell you this: many of those who want the patriotic elements of worship have pure, beautiful hearts and truly see God’s presence interwoven with our country.
But not every faithful Christian and American feels this way. For those of you who are reading this who may wonder why spiritual leaders and others do not want patriotic elements in worship, it’s because we believe our focus is on the God of every nation, not just ours. We believe that the state and its symbols have the potential for becoming another god or distracting us from ours. And we believe that it’s our place to be prophets in this country, making sure to stand up for the “least of these.”
So many of us church leaders wonder each year, how do we handle the balance of being like Jesus who challenged the broken systems AND the caring for the pastoral needs of our fellow Christians who have pure love for this country? How can make sure the only god in worship is our God and that the flag and country still remains “under God”? How do I balance your beliefs and needs with my beliefs and needs?
Within our worship service, could we sing of our love for our country, pray for the needs of our country and world and acknowledge where our country falls short? Could the sermon celebrate our passion for our country while still challenging the Americans in our pews to do justice? Can we love ourselves for where we are today AND continue to strive even more to take care of the widow, orphan and aliens? Can we remember that not everyone is equal and that “liberty and justice for all” is still a dream?
I don’t believe it’s a sin to love our country and state this in front of God. But I do believe its a sin if we love our country more than or at the exclusion of loving God and our neighbors.
I believe there’s a place for all of us in our churches. Let us remember the God of the prophets as we celebrate with joy our pluralistic nation. May we remember that God wants the United States of America to flourish, to be a place where the least of these have a voice and justice. May we remember that our country has its special gifts but also has its weaknesses too. And may we remember that God wants all nations to be a place of justice and peace.
God of the sunshine, the warm summer breezes,
And God of the strong storms and hot afternoons,
We ask that you quench our thirst on our arid days
And keep us cool when the sunrays are too wearing.
In the midst of our vacation,
May we not worry about returning to work
But value this very moment for all that it is.
May our travels be safe and our health be well.
We thank you for late evening sunsets.
And lightning bugs.
And cookouts with friends we see only in the summer.
As the days get shorter, may we find our joy in whatever the season. Amen.
At this very moment I have a strong love/hate relationship
With the art that you have made,
The shape that you have molded.
Through the stress of everyday life
And delicious foods
And lack of gym time
And probably my age
My body has changed.
It’s not my most ideal self-
Not because of my looks
But because I breathe heavy climbing the stairs
And I’m a bit more fatigued than before.
I admit that I must transform,
To find my balance
To value your creation.
Allow me to see that this transformation
Isn’t about pleasing society or someone else-
This revision of myself is to become the healthy me,
The one that wants to live to 99.
Alter my mind to see that I am beautiful
No matter the girth of my arm or ankle.
(And remind me to stop calling them “cankles…”)
Alter my soul to be happy
And not lean on another cupcake to cheer me up
(Because there will be times when I think I need another cupcake…
We know this about me, God.)
In the meantime…
Lead me not into the temptation of shaming my body.
Help me to cherish each extra inch as long as it lasts on my frame
Because every inch of me is still made in your image.
And may I not duck out of photos
Due to my fear of seeing this version of myself.
And while you’re at it,
Let’s change the way society sees bodies.
Thin, fat, curvy, whatever… it is all beautiful.
Let’s stop this message about getting the bikini body back
Or losing the baby bump in record time.
Let’s savor the moments-
Of deliciousness and balance. Amen.
I’ve been wondering lately who would be considered a “real” Christian in the eyes of God…
Is it the one who feeds the hungry, visits the prisoner and clothes the naked the “real” Christian – just like it says in Matthew 25? Or is it the person who believes in their heart and speaks with their mouth that they believe in Jesus the one who is a real Christian -as it is written in Romans 10?
Is it the Christian who believes all must speak in tongues in order to be saved? Or is it the Christian who understands tongues as speaking in a variety of languages and doesn’t have a special prayer language?
Is it the one who is Baptist? Or an Episcopalian? Or Catholic? Or non-denominational? Or doesn’t attend church at all?
What about those who believe that the world is 6,000 years old? And what about those who believe that the universe was created in a “Big Bang” process and humans evolved from animals? Is the Bible literally true or was the Bible written in certain contexts and metaphorical in certain parts? Which of these beliefs is needed to be a “real” Christian?
Is it the person who gets in the faces of those marching in a pride parade to angrily tell them they need to repent? Is it the ones marching in the Pride parade telling everyone that God loves them just as they are? Is it the pastor who performed a wedding for two men or the pastor who preaches that marriage is only between a man and woman?
Is it the woman who became ordained a few years back or the man who thinks that women shouldn’t speak in church? Are the “real” Christians protesting and speaking out for the life of the fetus outside of the abortion clinic? Are the “real” Christians the ones standing at the doors of the clinic, being a loving presence to the women walking inside?
Are the “real” Christians the ones who pray to God in front of the the multi-story cross on the side of the highway? Or are they the ones who pray to God when they enter a grocery store wondering how to spend their money on food for the hungry?
Would the Christian who believes that Jesus died for their sins or lived to save them be more “right” with God?
Is it the Christian who believes that God has no idea what the future holds or the Christian who knows that God has a plan and that everything happens for a reason?
Do the “real” Christians come from the Democrats… or the Republicans… or the Independents? Is it the watcher of Fox News or the listener of NPR?
So tell me… who is the “real” Christian? Which one will be existing with God on that side of Heaven instead of burning in Hell?
Who do you think will be with you in Heaven? Will it be the ones who think and act like you?
This sermon was delivered on June 15, 2014 at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Road, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Has there ever been a unified Christianity? This was one of the questions I was to answer on my Church History midterm in seminary. From the surface view it looks as if there is and always has been one unified Christian thought.
But then we see the workings of the early church as seen in Acts (which I will discuss more in a minute). We see the way people were tossed aside as heretics throughout the centuries – like Arius and his followers at the council of Nicea. Or how about Augustine and Pelagius or Augustine and the Manichaeans. Or Luther and the Catholic church.
Even in the early days of this country, people were not unified in their Christian thinking. Those who came to the Massachusetts area did so to escape religion persecution in their homeland, but then imposed their belief on others – leading to some ugly moments like the Salem Witch Trials. When people didn’t follow their religious formula, they were banished to states like Rhode Island – like Anne Hutchinson or Roger Williams. By the way, those back in Massachusetts who disagreed with Anne Hutchinson said some pretty mean things about her and gloated when she later miscarried and then was slaughtered.
It often feels like someone has to be right and someone wrong. So, my question is this: whose version of Christianity is right and whose is wrong? Could it be that, as long as we could love one another and treat one another with respect, that we could ALL be right and and ALL be wrong?
Sitting in adult Sunday school and other Christian education classes, two confirmation classes and various informal conversations with congregants of this church, I have seen the great span of your convictions and beliefs. And it is truly refreshing to see how each of you are serious of your faith journeys even though they each seem so different.
God, the Christ and the Holy Spirit are in one way or form parts of your faiths. You hold your beliefs with such sacredness, and yet, you see it from your own angles. The church means different things to you. Salvation takes different approaches. All of these beliefs spread into other parts of your life and lead to different beliefs on politics, parenting, family structures and more.
And that’s how I see the early church, the Jesus Movement, in the book of Acts.
Lately I feel like I’ve been drawn to reading the book of Acts. Acts was written by the writers of Luke, so it’s basically Luke volume two as the two books together are known in the theological community as Luke-Acts. It reflected a time when the disciples were trying to figure it all out after the earthly ministry of Jesus. The Holy Spirit helped to give them the strength and courage they needed to be the leaders they needed to be in the early church. But there were differences in the early believers. There were the Jewish believers who thought that their traditions and law were necessary in this new figuration of faith – and this included dietary laws and necessary circumcision on the males. But then the Gentiles came in – and the Gentiles did not have this same faith background or the same traditions. So dietary laws and circumcision were not on their radars as they embraced this new faith. There were challenges in reconciling these major differences.
And yet, even in their difficulties to reconcile the differences, they journeyed together in this Jesus Movement.
The New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary on the book of Acts states:
“Acts was written to consolidate disparate (or dissimilar) faith communions. Luke’s irenic spirit (a spirit that reconciles different beliefs in peace) is no doubt an idealized feature of his theological vision. At the same time, his ecumenicity (or yearning for unity) is never divorced from the hard pragmatics of the first church’s mission of the world. A religious movement that lacks solidarity within its diverse membership will be ineffective in advancing its claim.”
Languages and traditions are the differences in Acts 2. Remember the story of the Tower of Babel (Genesis 11)? As they tried to build a tower as high as heaven, God scattered them with a variety of languages. Acts 2 is what I believe is the other bookend of that story. They have different languages, different experiences and different ways of acting out their faith, and here the Holy Spirit comes along and helps them understand one another even with their differing words and traditions. The Holy Spirit opens them up to comprehend what others are saying and how they express themselves.
And that’s what we need for the Holy Spirit to do with us and with our society today.
Is it bad that we think or believe differently than one another? Our society makes us feel like we should live in an “us versus them” world. There are two primary political parties – both who rarely want to talk with one another, a situation that is becoming toxic for our country. It’s becoming dangerous because people see that sentiment of leadership not working together, and those in our country on every level feel like they don’t need to as well. People of various Christian traditions won’t often dialogue with people who profess a different set of beliefs because they feel they hold the only “truth.” We feel that there needs to be a winner and a loser in each situation. But what if we don’t need a winner and loser? What if God is so much bigger than this – that God can hold paradoxes? What if both sides could be right – as long as both sides are loving to God, neighbor and self? Could we live in that wilderness space of grayness and uncertainty? Might we ask how God is working with us in that space of ambiguity?
Here’s the one thing we rarely speak of in our churches or from our pulpits: no two people think or believe alike. We go about our days believing every Christian has or should have a clone belief structure. We don’t validate is that there is a diversity of Christian beliefs. Each person is influenced by life experience in such unique ways that they experience the Divine – the Creator, Christ and Holy Spirit in their own context.
Chances are, the person sitting next to you will have a belief or two different than you. Frankly, I don’t think Christianity and the Church acknowledges or encourages this enough. Maybe people don’t think anyone will accept them for naming an unconventional belief. So we keep quiet about this instead of being our authentic selves.
It’s what I like to call the Stained-Glass Elephant in the Sanctuary. I’ll explain that a little further. It’s an elephant in the room – something we don’t talk about. And congregations are like a stained glass window. Each person within the congregation is a different sliver of tinted glass. When the light of Christ shines through the multi-color window, a beautiful array of color falls upon the carpet and pews of the sanctuary… and in our communities.
If all the colors in the window were alike, the beauty would not be so great.
So let’s embrace the idea of an Acts church, a stained glass church – a church filled with a variety of beliefs and traditions, a church that has members who speak a variety of unique perspectives, a church that pulls the Holy Spirit into its life process so that we can understand one another for where we are at. In being this Acts church, we will embrace the differences between us and come together in sharing the good news of God’s love and grace with everyone around us. Amen.
In front of my television I sit, ecstatic that a new season of Royal Pains begins again. I soak up the scenes, excited that the story I’ve been following for five years is back on the small screen.
Prior to turning on the television, I watched a few classic episodes of Private Practice. It was season two, and Naomi was running the practice into the ground, Charlotte and Cooper begin to date and Taye Diggs is, well, Taye Diggs.
And then I focus on the smooth taste of peanut butter fudge in my mouth and the Diet Coke bubbles dancing upon my tongue.
I think about all the people and places I could visit. I talk on the phone to the people I love.
And in doing so, for small periods of time, I forget.
We express our concern over current gun laws. We express concern that the entire system is broken – whether it be the legal system protecting domestic violence victims, programs for severely mentally ill people and the way unhealthy people access weapons and ammunition. We voice our concern that our society is violent, obsessed with fear and shoot-’em-up fanatics. We see how people feel entitled because of their privileged race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and we want people to hear how their entitlement is the equivalent of bullying – whether it’s misogyny, homophobia or racism.
But no one listens. Nothing changes.
And 46,000 more people are dead.
So now I return back to binge-watching second season episodes of Private Practice… at least until tomorrow when I regain my resolve and strength to stand up for liberty and justice for all once again.
“O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not listen? Or cry to you ‘Violence!’ and you will not save? ” – – Habakkuk 1:2
February 1992. I was eighteen years old in my freshman year of college. My friends introduced me to a really cute guy who was about a year or two older. We all hung out talking until around midnight. He then walked me back to my dorm room and gave me a kiss.
Alright. He’s cute. He’s sweet. I hope i hear from him…
The next evening, he calls. He asks me to go out. I didn’t feel like spending time with him that evening, so I politely declined. “You will go out with me,” he demands.
Excuse me? “No,” I replied.
He just couldn’t take no for an answer.
Eventually, we ended the phone conversation. I felt extremely vulnerable at that moment. Thoughts continued to cycle throughout my mind. What if he comes after me? What would this confrontation look like, and would I be safe? Fortunately, I found way to hang out with other friends that evening, away from campus – what I perceived to be a safer space.
Frankly, on that very evening, anywhere where he could not find me was safe.
*****
May 1992. I was nineteen years old finishing my freshman year of college. I was sitting in the library at my college trying to study when a man around my age came up to talk with me.
I was trying to brush him off – at this point I had another boyfriend. But he continuously asked for my number – over and over and over again. To him, it didn’t matter that I was in a relationship with another person.
Finally, I relented. I gave him my dorm room phone number and left the conversation.
A while later, he called me. I pretended that I was my roommate and told Whatshisname that I wasn’t home. He never called back.
But could he ever find me?
*****
Summer 1992. I was still nineteen years old between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I was driving on Route 159 in Swansea, Illinois when a guy in the next car at the stoplight locked eyes with me.
It’s always awkward to lock eyes with anyone in nearby cars. But this one had another agenda.
I started driving once the stoplight turned green. He then followed me.
No matter how fast I drove, he drove. He continuously tried to get my attention. But my attention was focused on working to lose him.
Block after block, he kept up. Then, I saw an upcoming street. At this point he was in the next lane and keeping up with my driving. I quickly turned down the road without giving any indication that I was making that move. He continued to drive on Route 159.
But what if I couldn’t figure out a way to lose him?
*****
These three stories happened to me over the course of six months. Understand that I could continue to write story after story about the varying types of harassments I’ve experienced in 23 years – from catcalls to mindgames to unwanted touching.
Now, I’m not talking about the guy who kindly asks me out even though I’m not interested. I’m talking the kind of behavior when I feel every type of red alarm has gone off and my gut is giving me a bad vibe – the guy who keeps pressuring me even though I continuously say “no.” There are many authentically nice guys out there. (I know since I’m dating one of the nice guys.) However, from personal experience, I can tell that 100% of the men in our society do not treat women as equals, and this type of controlling attitude and entitlement needs to stop. They think they can follow us, pressure us and guilt us into falling for them.
Our society encourages us to be “good girls.” Never say no. Be accommodating. The problem with being the good girl is that the controlling boys like to find us. They like to drain us of any self-esteem we may still have in our souls.
The story of Vashti always resonates with me when it comes to a woman who stood up for her body, mind and soul. She refused to be paraded around like an object by her husband King Xerxes (Ahasuerus) who then, probably, banished her from his life. It was a risked she was willing to take as she didn’t want to be objectified and controlled by men.
It takes years for us to find that confidence to realize we deserve better than all of this. We do not deserve to be paraded around or required to give in to a man’s desires each time he asks.
So when I think of this mass killing spree in Santa Barabara, I think of the way that men have felt entitled to the bodies, minds and souls of women since the Hebrew Bible – from Vashti to Tamar, the daughter of David who was raped by her brother.
When I see the spirit of women on social media this week and the many men who support us, I realize that maybe there’s hope in this conversation. Maybe there will be one less man who demands a date or sex, one less man who chases a woman or one less woman who feels pressured to give out her personal information.
Let’s find ways to stand together, girls and women of all ages. Let’s find a way to help each other feel safe even when we’ve felt violated. We deserve to be given the dignity that God has given each of us – as we are made in the image of our Creator, too.
Michelle L. Torigian 