At this very moment I have a strong love/hate relationship
With the art that you have made,
The shape that you have molded.
Through the stress of everyday life
And delicious foods
And lack of gym time
And probably my age
My body has changed.
It’s not my most ideal self-
Not because of my looks
But because I breathe heavy climbing the stairs
And I’m a bit more fatigued than before.
I admit that I must transform,
To find my balance
To value your creation.
Allow me to see that this transformation
Isn’t about pleasing society or someone else-
This revision of myself is to become the healthy me,
The one that wants to live to 99.
Alter my mind to see that I am beautiful
No matter the girth of my arm or ankle.
(And remind me to stop calling them “cankles…”)
Alter my soul to be happy
And not lean on another cupcake to cheer me up
(Because there will be times when I think I need another cupcake…
We know this about me, God.)
In the meantime…
Lead me not into the temptation of shaming my body.
Help me to cherish each extra inch as long as it lasts on my frame
Because every inch of me is still made in your image.
And may I not duck out of photos
Due to my fear of seeing this version of myself.
And while you’re at it,
Let’s change the way society sees bodies.
Thin, fat, curvy, whatever… it is all beautiful.
Let’s stop this message about getting the bikini body back
Or losing the baby bump in record time.
Let’s savor the moments-
Of deliciousness and balance. Amen.