In front of my television I sit, ecstatic that a new season of Royal Pains begins again.  I soak up the scenes, excited that the story I’ve been following for five years is back on the small screen.

Prior to turning on the television, I watched a few classic episodes of Private Practice.  It was season two, and Naomi was running the practice into the ground, Charlotte and Cooper begin to date and Taye Diggs is, well, Taye Diggs.

And then I focus on the smooth taste of peanut butter fudge in my mouth and the Diet Coke bubbles dancing upon my tongue.

I think about all the people and places I could visit.  I talk on the phone to the people I love.

And in doing so, for small periods of time, I forget.

I forget that another shooting happened today.

I forget that two shootings happened today.

I forget that this is the third or fourth or five mass shooting in the past few weeks.

I forget that a mass shooting could happen wherever I was… wherever my family and friends were.

For just a little while, I forget.  And it’s because I have the luxury and privilege to forget.

Throughout this day my anger rose as I heard the statistics.  Seventy-four school shootings since Sandy Hook.  Forty-six THOUSAND dead from shootings since that horrific day in Newtown.

When will it end?

We express our concern over current gun laws.  We express concern that the entire system is broken – whether it be the legal system protecting domestic violence victims, programs for severely mentally ill people and the way unhealthy people access weapons and ammunition.  We voice our concern that our society is violent, obsessed with fear and shoot-’em-up fanatics.  We see how people feel entitled because of their privileged race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and we want people to hear how their entitlement is the equivalent of bullying – whether it’s misogyny, homophobia or racism.

But no one listens.  Nothing changes.

And 46,000 more people are dead.

So now I return back to binge-watching second season episodes of Private Practice… at least until tomorrow when I regain my resolve and strength to stand up for liberty and justice for all once again.

“O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not listen? Or cry to you ‘Violence!’ and you will not save? ”  – – Habakkuk 1:2