Category Archives: Pop Culture

Single in the Sanctuary – Taboo Grace

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

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Phone Sept 2014 4276Throughout my adult life, I’ve had conversations with some of my unmarried friends about the relationships that they’ve had.

And some of the mistakes they’ve made.

Granted, there are lots of types of mistakes singles and couples make- everything from slight fibs to huge indiscretions about money and parenting and every other subject imaginable. Yet some of the most shame-filled confessions made by non-married people include the physical connections they’ve made with others.

(Yes.  Sex.)

While there is a loud group of Christians who focus primarily on curing the world of sexual sins, most Christians are probably across the board when it comes to how they view sex outside of marriage.  As a member of the clergy, I’m not saying that sex between two unmarried people is right or wrong, but there are times that it can be healthy and unhealthy, and each person must find what’s the most healthy expression for themselves and for those with whom they physically connect.  Unfortunately, in times of desperation, grief, drunk or sadness, people make the some of the most unhealthiest decisions of their lives.

It’s human.  Yet what ends up happening is they relive their mistakes in their heads over and over and over again.

What would it take to let it go?  What would it take to embrace the grace that’s already there?  

But the little voice keeps luring them back into the shame of their prior actions.

There’s a story in the Bible where David manages to seduce Bathsheba who then becomes pregnant from the encounter.  The story ends with God “killing” their infant child as  punishment for whatever happened between the two of them.

Except that it wasn’t God.  It was medicine or the lack thereof rearing its ugly head at a very wrong moment.

So often, people want to associate STDs and unplanned pregnancies as God’s way of punishing humans for sexual relations.  People “deserve” what they get.

That isn’t the case.

No God would punish two people for their roles in an affair or seduction or momentary lapse of judgement.  No God would force someone to live a life sentence of a disease or sentence someone to death for one wrong decision.  God’s grace is pouring upon each and every one of us for any type of unhealthy decision we’ve made.  God’s grace is attempting to erase the shame from our lives and asking us leave it behind us.

Our job as the Church isn’t to judge what people have done or are doing.  Our role is to walk with them in a spirit of grace, giving them opportunities to find new life if they feel called to it.

And helping them let it all go.

*****

This blog post was written as part of both my weekly series “Single in the Sanctuary” and as part of November’s SynchroBlog on “Grace.”  See other blog posts associated with the SynchroBlog theme here:

http://synchrolinklist.blogspot.com/2015/11/november-2015.html

 

A Grace-Deprived World

05 Thursday Nov 2015

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Image from TVFanatic.com

Tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy had two beautiful storylines focusing on major errors and the grace we hold back from those who we expect to be perfect.  The more prominent of the two stories dealt with resident Dr. Penny Blake who made fatal errors errors in Dr. Derek Shepherd’s care.  Derek’s physician wife, Dr. Meredith Grey, is extra-hard on her as this newer doctor tries to be the best she can while living in the cloud of shame and doubt.

A minor storyline in the episode was an unmarried pastor who inadvertently sent an inappropriate video of his girlfriend to everyone in the church.  Needless to say, the saints of the congregation as well as his governing body automatically wanted him fired.  For one mistake.  Of course, with a case like this, it is understandable that the clergy would be reprimanded, but hopefully given the opportunity to redeem themselves through a process of reconciliation.  But the one who preaches forgiveness and dedicates his life to serving others is automatically deemed evil when making an error.

Tonight’s episode is a good reminder that we are a grace-deprived society.

How do we stop depriving others of forgiveness?  First, we each need to say this out loud: we all make mistakes – no exceptions.  Those who deprive others of grace forget that they, too, make errors and thrive on holding grudges and pointing fingers when possible.  The funny thing is that each of those physicians on Grey’s Anatomy holding a grudge had made errors at one point or another in their careers, causing someone to lose their life or an optimal state of well-being.  Yet they were holding this one physician to an unrealistic level.

We’re equal opportunity broken people, and we each deserve equal amounts of grace.

Secondly, without grace, the repentant person living in the shame spiral tends to make more errors.  It happened to Dr. Blake while she tried to prove to Meredith that she was a decent doctor.  At the end of the episode, Meredith says “Our shame can choke us, it can rot us from the inside, if we decide to let it.”  Yet it’s hard to release the shame when others continuously remind us of our brokenness.

Think about a time in which you’ve made a mistake.  Other people poured the shame upon you instead of mercy.  As you moved forward, was it easy to clear your head of that mistake?  And how well did you do your work as you worked in the self-fulfilling prophecy bubble?  From my experience, I tend to make more mistakes around those who have not forgiven me because I’m trying to impress them even more – to make up for my error.  In my intense focus on making these people happy, I tend to mess up even more.  Shame leads to trying to please others, and there will be some who we will never make happy.  In fact, it’s not our job to make people happy (something of which I must remind myself each and every day).

Third, God has already forgiven us.  We may not have forgiven ourselves for the error.  Others are still holding our mistakes over our heads.  But God is way ahead of the game, wanted us to move forward in healthy and productive ways.

When I see others who profess to be Christians shaming others for their mistakes, I often remember the parable of the unforgiving debtor (Matthew 18).  We tend to adopt this belief that I am allowed to be forgiven, but I don’t have to forgive you.  Yet the brilliant Jesus gave us a parable reminding his followers that if we expect to be given grace by God, we also need to extend that grace to others – not just seven times but seventy-seven times.  If we want God to forgive us, we must also forgive.

Lastly, there people in some positions who we hold to higher standards, including clergy, doctors, police, teachers, etc. Tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was a reminder that clergy and doctors are considered next to God.  When we fail – even just ONE mistake – the mistake means more to anyone else.  None of us are perfect.  Yes, there are some in each of these careers who are toxic, biased and careless.  But we are not God.  We will never be perfect, no matter how hard we try.

Watching this episode and through the many conversations I’ve had with people over the course of my life, I see that grace is something that we hoard for ourselves and are not willing to spread to others.  We would rather someone squirm in the pits of shame rather than find the release of mistakes through the salvific act of forgiveness.  We are a grace-deprived society.  Somewhere between God and the repentant person, grace has been captured and held hostage.  What will we do to allow grace to flow freely once again – in our churches, our hospitals, our highways, our schools and every single corner of our world?

Shake It Off – Jesus style

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

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IMG_5640Originally posted on the SONKA Blog.

Last year, Taylor Swift released the album 1989.  One of the songs on the album, “Shake it Off,” focuses on the ridicule she receives from the public and press. The negativity and rejection piles up for anyone, and through hearing this song, we know that many of us go through rejection and negativity. Swift said regarding the message of the song “I’ve learned a pretty tough lesson that people can say whatever they want about us at any time, and we cannot control that. The only thing we can control is our reaction to that.”

Some of us are very good at shaking off negativity and rejection.  Others of us hold on to the dirt that we’ve collected. Between broken friendships, love relationships, job rejections, and every other type of rejection possible, we hold on to the pain way too long. It affects our self-esteem and our hope for the future. We are too focused on being the best, being perfect, and making others happy that we hold onto negativity well too long.

Jesus got rejected. I’m sure that’s not new to most of us, but sometimes we need to say it out loud. He was rejected when talking about the good news of God’s love. He was rejected when he talked about how we should love our neighbors. He was rejected by those who knew him best as a young child.

When we read the Matthew 10:5-14 text, we see Jesus giving instruction to his crew about how to share the good news. Jesus reminds them that there will be rejection. By telling them to “shake off the dust from (their) feet” he’s telling them to move on, not take this rejection personally or let it affect them deeply. Like Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” Jesus is basically reminding them “It’s hard, it’s sad, but shake it off and move on. The dust will weigh us down in ways that won’t allow us move forward, so shake it off.”

There is no doubt that all of us will get rejected in some capacity in our lives.  And some of us will want to take it personally.  But sometimes we need to distance ourselves from the rejection and treat it as disposable as dust.

I believe it helps us to know that even Jesus understood rejection.  He understood the pain that came with having people dislike him, deny him, or try to kill him. Through Christ, God completely understands when we feel low after a rejection. And God knows how difficult it is to shake it off when the rejection is so fresh on our souls.

We may face bullies at school, in the workplace, by friends, or by crushes. We may have been turned down from a job or opportunity that we really wanted. We will undoubtedly fail at something – like a driver’s test or any sort of exam. It can be our nature to want to dwell on that rejection or failure for a long time.

Rejection will hurt, and it will take time to grieve the opportunities and people lost. But when we hold onto them too long or too intensely, it affects our physical and emotional health. We start to lose self-esteem and hope. Sometimes, people do drastic things in that time of pain. And it may be hard to really accept that life will improve.

That’s what shaking the dust off your feet means: accepting that it gets better. There is good right around the corner for all of us.  We each deserve good things to happen, love, and acceptance because all of us are made in God’s image. By shaking the dust off of our feet and our hearts, we embrace the God of new beginnings.

The Great Hope of Postseason 2015

12 Monday Oct 2015

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imageNearly every year in October, I’m fortunate to have my beloved St. Louis Cardinals in MLB’s postseason.  There have been times they have lost in the World Series or in National League Championship play.  But the Cardinals had an active presence in October’s baseball – many times over the course of the past 10 or so years.

Some of my dear friends rarely-to-never have the chance to see the Chicago Cubs in postseason play.  Yet each April they beam with excitement.  This will be the year!  These dedicated fans hold on to a hope that is greater than winning or losing.  It’s a hope that transcends statistics and a century-long losing streak.

So I sit here very conflicted as I watch the television set in my living room.  I’m not rooting against my Cardinals.  I’m cheering for Hope.  And I see that hope in the 2015 Chicago Cubs.

I’m cheering for the rains of hope that come after the dry spells of life.  I’m cheering for the sparks of hope that begin to ignite after failed attempts of lighting a fire.

It’s a hope in which people in the Judeo-Christian faith: hope in the midst of the wilderness.  No matter how many decades we face in the wilderness, there is possibility.  Even though there are exiles after exiles, hope abides and restoration occurs.  It’s a hope that flourishes after crucifixions and tombs.

This hope moves beyond just ballparks but into other parts of our lives.  If they can win, what other things are possible in our world?  Peace?  Love?  Visions becoming a reality  When hope wins all sorts of possibilities arise.

Hope may not win this year.  Instead it may be my Cardinals.

But hope will win someday.

Wanting More Than Crumbs – Women’s Equality Day

27 Thursday Aug 2015

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Annibale Carracci [Public domain], Christ and Canaanite Woman via Wikimedia Commons

Yesterday was National Dog Day!  People expressed much love for their pets all over social media.

Ironically – or maybe not so ironically – it’s also Women’s Equality Day.  Only 95 years ago and after many arduous efforts, women received the right to vote.

Now, I’ve never had a dog, and I may not be a dog person, but I believe in the well-being of our animals.  It’s nice to see so many people showing love of and care for their pets.

Yet Women’s Equality Day is not trending anywhere near the numbers of dog love.  In some ways, it’s understandable.  How often do we celebrate our pets?  Women are celebrated on various days in various ways throughout the year.

The problem which remains is that women are still compared to and treated like dogs – and not the ones we consider our lovable pets.  Think of politicians, pundits and celebrities who call the women that disagree with them “dogs.”  Or how many women will be treated like an animal while they walk down the street.  Names of all sorts, whistles and howls will be thrown their way as they walk to work, lunch or their next task.  Women feel more like an object than a breathing being.

Each time we turn around, we have people trying to rid us of reproductive health care options.  Still in this country, we make considerably less money than men.  In 2013, it was recorded that we make 78 cents for every dollar a man makes.  And minority women will make less money than we white women will earn, adding an additional gap to their pay.

Women face rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence at higher rates than men.  Women are brushed aside when reporting rape, and rape kits wait to be processed.  All around the world, women are mutilated, sold and bought, and given in marriage even though they’ve barely reached puberty.  It’s said that 25,000 girls under the age of 18 are given in marriage each day.

And while there are pets being treated far worse than women, some are treated with more dignity and humanity than women across our world.  Some dogs are fed well while some women starve.  Some dogs have the privilege of roaming properties; some women are shackled.

So maybe it’s time for us to be like the woman from Syrophoenicia in Mark 7 and stand up for our rights.  We deserve more than the crumbs under the table.  We deserve to be whole and healthy.  We deserve to have our voices heard, our bodies respected, and our work valued.

Some of us are closer to being considered fully human because we’re white and straight and able-bodied.  It’s still not easy being a woman with privilege, but those of us with more privilege have it easier.  We must remember that the fight isn’t over when white women have full equality and our minority sisters have not.  When that day comes, we still are not equal, and we still keep on working to make sure that Black women matter and lesbian women matter and Hispanic women matter and physically disabled women matter and transgender women matter.  When all women have equality, then we are all equal and we are all sitting at the table together.

The crumbs under the table aren’t enough.  We want to be seen as full human beings.   We want to be recognized by the Church that both men AND women are made in the image of God and by the State that BOTH are created equal.  We want and deserve to be at the table with men and not crawling on the floor looking for the crumbs.

 

Marriage Equality – The Constantly Expanding Love of God

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

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This post was written in conjunction with the July 2015 Synchroblog on the topic “Gay Marriage.”

Years ago, I expressed my views supporting marriage equality.

My pastor at the time was not supportive of my perspective.  “I could help you change your mind,” he said to me.  I prayed.  I read Scripture.  I listened and read stories of the ever expanding love of God in gay and lesbian relationships.

And then I realized I couldn’t go back.  I couldn’t minimize my view of love.  Or family.  Or marriage.  There were no holy scissors big enough to eliminate the love which abides in lesbian and gay relationships.

I then chose to become a member of a United Church of Christ congregation.  It was a small congregation where everyone knew one another’s name.  When I joined, they hadn’t yet officially taken a vote to become Open and Affirming, but while I was a member, we voted in the affirmative.  The denomination had voted to affirm marriage equality in 2005.

I currently serve a congregation that is not Open and Affirming.  Without their approval, I will not perform a same-gender ceremony in the church’s sanctuary.

However, I will perform a same-gender wedding ceremony anywhere else.  Now that marriage is legal for heterosexual as well as lesbian and gay relationships all over our country, I feel it is in my theology of justice and equality that I offer this blessing to all people.

In fact, I’ve already done one.

In November 2014, I presided over the wedding and was blessed to sign a marriage certificate in Illinois for a wonderful couple, Debbie and Jessica.  I’ve known Debbie since elementary school, and I was honored to be asked to preside over their wedding.  My entire immediate family was on hand to watch me officiate the wedding for these two wonderful women.  Through Debbie and Jessica, just like the other couples whose weddings I’ve also officiated, I see how God is the God of expanding and just-filled love.

Photo of me presiding over Debbie and Jessica's wedding in November 2014.

Photo of me presiding over Debbie and Jessica’s wedding in November 2014.

They’re able to be their most truest selves – loving honestly, living authentically.  Isn’t that what God would want for each of us?

Marriage equality isn’t only a justice issue but also a pastoral issue.  When two people want to combine their lives together and form a covenant with one another in the presence of God and all of creation, the pastoral need calls for us pastors to tend to those whose hearts need care.

There will be many who believe that the Bible abhors same-gender relationships.  Yet relationships during the time when the Bible was written were ones where the men had most of the power, women were secondary human beings, and marriages were not exactly consensual for both parties.

I look at Michal, Saul’s daughter whom David won as a war prize.  Even after he deserted her and she was given in marriage to another man, David reclaimed Michal as property.  Most likely, Bathsheba didn’t have a choice except to marry David after he impregnated her (probably without her consent).  Both Leah and Rachel had to be “earned” by Jacob.  Vashti was banished because she wouldn’t provocatively dance for her husband and his friends.

From these examples we see that mutuality in today’s heterosexual relationships is much different than what we read in Scriptures.  Relationships have changed greatly even since mid-nineteenth or twentieth century Western Civilization.  This can only lead us to the conclusion that relationships continue to evolve and will continue to transform.  As long as two people can make the covenant they desire and both can agree upon, and both people can demonstrate respect for one another, then we, as church leaders, should support their love wherever it stands.

And maybe that’s the way God wants it to be.

From couples of all genders and colors and economic groups and religions and everything else, I continue to see a Divine love that’s always expanding.  I often wonder how relationships will look in fifty years.  Yet if God is the God of constant motion and the architect of love, then God will lead us to welcome love in all forms – even if it’s unfamiliar.

How will we open ourselves to new forms of family, relationships, and love?  How can we embrace what is said in Scriptures but also listen to the still-speaking God in our midst?

*****

The following are other bloggers writing on this topic for the July Synchroblog.  Many of these writers provide views very different than mine.  In a spirit of love and dialogue as covenantal members of the Body of Christ, I still encourage you to read each of these.  May God’s love transcend the differences we hold.  Amen.

 

We Have a Sex Problem, Christianity

29 Friday May 2015

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Christianity has a sex problem.

When it comes to physically intimate acts, by reputation Christians are known to disallow any acts between anyone except a married heterosexual couple.  Those who are single, co-habitating, and any LGBT person must remain completely and totally chaste.  Many intimate acts, including kissing (in some religious sects), are absolutely wrong in premarital relationships.

So when we hear stories of a fundamentalist Christian teen who molests multiple minor girls, we notice mixed reactions.  Some believe it’s like all other sexual sins – no more or less sinful.  Others name the acts of molestation as a more heinous crime.

The problem comes down to whether we see sex outside of marriage as breaking a legal code or something that has the potential of being a healthy act.  More conserving Christians will note that all sexual acts outside of heterosexual marriage are sinful.  They may even imply that ALL sexual acts not in the confines of marriage are equally sinful.  And they may even mention that everyone is an equal opportunity sinner.

Like many other progressive Christians, I personally don’t think that all sexual acts outside of marriage are considered sinful. Yes, this is absolutely contradictory to what the loudest people in Christianity believe.  But after placing Scripture in conversation with reason, tradition, experience together, I see that sometimes, there are no definite answers to whether someone should engage in sex outside of marriage.  Instead, there are many questions that arise: Is the situation healthy and safe?  Do both people respect one another?  Is anyone being hurt by this encounter?

For a moment, let’s put aside our differences. For those who still may believe that intimacy should not be outside of marriage, we must come together to considered one factor: some sexual acts are more devastating and painful, thus making them more sinful.  And the reason is the lack of consent.

Two consenting people having sex may just be two consenting people having sex. It’s a potentially healthy expression of the way two people like/respect/admire/love one another.  Not everyone will feel it is right to engage in premarital sex before marriage.  People who wait shouldn’t be called names and shamed – just like people who engage in sex before marriage should not be shamed.  Individual choice should be respected – as long as people are being healthy and safe.  We must respect that some people will engage in sex outside of marriage and others will not, and we must be as loving as possible to someone no matter which they choose.

But here’s when we get into a problem.  There is a HUGE difference in how we see God in relation to our sex lives.  Some will see God’s presence and blessing in an intimate consensual relationship prior to marriage.  Others will see God’s condemnation.  Some will pray to God to bless their sexual union.  Others believe God wants nothing to do with our sex lives – especially outside of marriage.

No matter which side of the conversation we fall, most of us can probably agree that sometimes there’s sin involved in sex – especially when one person is using the other, levying their power over their partner, or manipulating another person into sexual acts.  When we hear stories of rape, sexual assault, molestation, drugging a person to have sex, taking advantage of a drunk or drugged person, and touching someone inappropriately, we are listening to non-consensual sexual encounters.  Because these acts damage the relationship between God, neighbor and self, sexual abuse is, undoubtedly, sin.  Additionally some sexual encounters within an unhealthy marriage are sinful as well, notably when one spouse requires the other to become intimate.

I’m extremely tired of hearing “all sin is equal sin.”  No, that’s not the case.  When two people are expressing love or respect to one another, that is not damaging to God and neighbor like when one person is levying power over another person.  These two acts are not even in the same ball park.  I may sound like I’m judging, but when you hear the pain that comes from many women’s experience with sexual abuse, it’s time to change the system.

Just because Deuteronomy 22:38-39 says that a man can rape a woman (as long as he marries her) does not mean he should treat the woman like an object.  Additionally, just because Lot offered his daughters to be raped while they still lived in Sodom doesn’t mean we can look the other way when women’s bodies are used as commodities.  Likewise, it wasn’t right when they had non-consensual sex with their father to get pregnant.  And it wasn’t ethical when King Xerxes banished Vashti when she refused to be objectified.

Just because the epistles mention that women must submit their lives to their husbands (1 Peter 3, 1 Corinthians 7:4) does not mean men have the right to rape their wives.

We must thoroughly research scriptures which require a woman to have sex with her husband each night or when she isn’t in the mood.  If anyone is manipulating their spouse or partner into sex, it isn’t consensual.  When webpages exist that are dedicated to making sure women are required to have sex with their husbands each time he wants it (because it’s God’s will), then we have a sex problem, Christianity.  When people are considered bad when they have sex prior to marriage and then bad when they don’t have sex after marriage, then we have a sex problem, Christianity.  When your sex rules don’t include Leviticus 18:19 but absolutely must include Leviticus 18:22, then we have a sex problem Christianity.  When Christian groups have materials that blame women for being molested and raped based on how they are acting or what they are wearing, then we have a sex problem, Christianity.

When we don’t look at the bigger picture with the Duggars’ situation, we have a problem with sex, Christianity.  Josh was 14 when he sexually abused minor females.  And Jim-Bob decides to swiftly and silently sweep the situation under the rug.  But did anyone ask how these women are?  Do any of the statements given mention the pain, shame, and humiliation that the women experienced?  Did anyone ask if Josh was abused at some point?  (Many abusers have been abused in the past.)  Does anyone wonder if Josh has experienced the help he needs so that he’s not putting other people at risk?  This isn’t just about judging or forgiveness.  It’s stopping unhealthy patterns so that the cycle of abuse stops.  It’s making sure that those who have been hurt can find new life.

Undoubtedly, God will forgive Josh – just like God will forgive all of us.  That’s what unconditional grace is about.  But this doesn’t mean that his actions are far from gone in the lives of five females.  This doesn’t mean that they are ready to forgive him.  This isn’t the time for us to rush to forgiveness.  This is time for us to understand what healthy sexuality is, find ways to have conversations so that more 14 year old children don’t feel compelled to abuse their sibling, and stop parents from sweeping the problem under the rug.  This is time for us to extend our hand of grace to these five girls so that they won’t feel the shame that they probably carry in their hearts.

Christianity, let’s look at what sex, consent, and sin mean.  It’s time for us to change the language of appropriate sex from “good” and “bad” to “unhealthy,” “healthy,” and “consensual.”  God’s ready for our conversation.  Are we?

 The current version of this post has been edited from the original.

The End of an Era… And a Beginning: An Affirmation of Call for Don Draper

21 Thursday May 2015

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AMC/Mad Men

*Warning: This post contains spoilers*

So that’s how it ends… with a smirk and a Coke ad.

Immediately, dedicated fans went to a cynical place… Mad Men‘s Don Draper sold out… He was just in this for the advertising…

I disagree.

I do not believe Don’s resulting peace from the search for his identity wasn’t short lived.  Quite the opposite.  He found peace in being Don Draper.  He found serenity in the slivers of his identity which remained Dick Whitman.  And through his search, he discovered that in his soul, he was Don.

He was an ad man with a creative spirit at his core.

Much like Romans 14:14 “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean…” there is nothing sinful or wrong about advertising in itself.  People like to think that Don returning to his passion meant that he abandoned all spiritual growth.  Rather, I believe Don’s future indicated that ads can be used to send positive energies into the world – not just to objectify people and sell products.  Think about the ads on television.  Which ones bring positive memories?  Which ones would you rather never see again?

I remember the Coke ad portrayed in the final scene from the early years of my childhood.  Even though Coca Cola was trying to sell a product, they wanted to capture something positive at the same time, and spread that positive ethos into the world.  The ad left harmonious feelings within me – probably for the remainder of my life.

In a past life, I was in marketing and public relations.  I wrote press releases, created events that would attract people, and found ways to showcase our brand to the world.  This work was thrilling.  Being able to create and promote brought new challenges, unpredictability and the joy of art.

I still do some of this today.  But now that I’m promoting God instead of products, it’s called evangelism.  Like I said – advertising and promotion can be for good.

We like to think  that some professions are the “good” or “clean” professions and others are “bad” or “unclean.”  (Think about Jesus’ time.  Tax collectors were the ultimate unclean job – besides taking care of pigs.)

Clergy, police, military, doctors and teachers are often considered the “clean” professions while advertising agents, lawyers or a plethora of other professions are “unclean.”  Yet clergy and teachers are found in sexual misconduct.  Occasionally, police and military will abuse their power.  Of course, most people in these professions are noble and kind-hearted.  But a profession should never dictate whether or not someone is a decent person.

Likewise, a profession shouldn’t indicate that someone is cynical or selfish.  Lawyers defend innocent people and stand for noble causes all of the time.  And artistic folks invigorated in the thrill of birthing an idea to build a brand use their creative juices to paint a picture and invoke emotions.

That was Don.  But in the evolution of Don Draper, we see a soul continue to struggle and grow.  Even though this growth happened, it doesn’t mean he must give up advertising.  Instead, he uses advertising as a medium to bring the happiness he now has experienced into the world.

Don’s passion for advertising transcended much in his life.  No matter what his personal life entailed, he still had a knack for the creative.  When he felt his creativity became suffocated (in the antepenultimate episode), Don immediately left the meeting with the Miller rep and a room full of fellow ad men.  The last passion he held onto, creativity in advertising, was drifting away from him, deepening his identity crisis.  He needed to wander.

For three episodes, Don searched for who he was.  Was he Don?  Was he Dick?  Was he an ad man, a fraud, a cheat?  What has he done with his life?  Did he give honor to the real Don Draper?

There is admiration in Don’s journey.  He didn’t abandon the retreat when exposing his fallacies, suffering a panic attack and possibly contemplating suicide.  He continued the tough work that was needed to find his true identity and discover whatever peace he needed to be his best self.   While Don always professed “moving forward,” he had to work through some demons before he could truly move forward with his life.

He finally found peace.  And then he found clarity.  And then his creativity came back – in greater and positive ways.

So what if he went back into advertising?  That’s Don at his best.  Being at his healthiest and happiest, he will only produce quality ads – ones that take us to a place of bliss.

And that’s why we always will want to buy the world a Coke and live in harmony.

 

Just tonight, I discovered this article in which Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner explained the conclusion.  While most of this was written before discovering the article, I am excited to see that my conclusion wasn’t far of from Weiner’s thoughts.

A Note from a Pastor to Loved Ones During Holy Week

01 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by in Holidays, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

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imageDear people who I care for the most,

As you definitely know by now, it is Holy Week.  For those of us in the clergy/ministry business, we are attempting to accomplish in one week what we usually accomplish in about three or four ordinary time weeks.

In this process, our ideal selves are not shining this week.

I will want to stare at stupid reality shows, binge watch Netflix, play 60 consecutive games of Bejeweled Blitz, and surf the computer for hours in the evening.

I may eat one too many brownies or have an extra glass of wine this week.

I will want to pamper myself somehow… maybe a massage, a haircut and color or a mani/pedi.

I will either not sleep enough or I will sleep too well.

I will be Rev. Crankypants until Sunday morning is over.

I will be Super Crankypants if I am approached about taking care of something that can obviously be completed well after Easter Day.

There will be tears. Guaranteed.

There will also be an impromptu dance party at least once per day.  And I will be breaking out in song – most likely something from my college days and reminding me of a much simpler Holy Week.

The house will have extra clothes on the floor, the dishes will sit in the sink a little too long, and I will not have vaccuumed as I usually do.

I will remind people of things over and over again because I’m truly hoping not to drop one of my many balls in the air.

If you can not find me I will be at one of the following places: (1) church, (2) Michael’s, (3) the ice cream store, or (4) curled up in a corner somewhere as I wail and gnash my teeth.

My throat will start feeling scratchy by Thursday which brings on the added stress of extra needed sleep, gargling with salt water, and remembering to take any and every kind of vitamin that could possibly work.  Otherwise, I have to carve into my day a good hour and a half for a trip to the clinic.

Easter morning will be full of caffeine, adrenaline, and pure Holy Spirit joy.  And then once noon hits on Easter, I am a complete zombie.  Not normal Sunday afternoon zombie but full zombie-apocalypse walker.

I am so exhausted that I might as well post a “Do not disturb until the Thursday after Easter” sign on my door.

Holy Week Michelle is not typically who I am.  Well, sometimes it is – especially in the two weeks preceding Christmas.  And I will apologize over and over and over again as I try to keep everything moving forward.

All I ask is a bit of grace, a bunch of prayers, and maybe, a pint of double chocolate ice cream.  Thank you for loving me through the valley of the shadow of Lent and every other day of the year.

A Parkinson’s Prayer

26 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by in Life, Pop, Pop Culture

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parkinsons walkAs some reading this may know, my dad has Parkinson’s disease.  For the past few years, he’s been struggling with this neurological and movement disorder.  From what I’ve seen and know, Parkinson’s is an illness that progresses with time, and it has increasingly gotten worse in the past two years for my dad.

And that is why I pray for those struggling with Parkinson’s.

God of each movement and moment of our days,
In times of stiffness and shakes
And as bodies grow slower and slower,
enliven the souls of those struggling with Parkinson’s Disease.

Their tremors won’t end
And bodies resist movement.

As they wait for medicine to kick-in,
Walking becomes a privilege.
As muscles and nerves rebel against the norm,
Voices become soft and shaky.

Nothing is the same.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken the bodies of those we love?
Or did those bodies forsake themselves?
Why has Parkinson’s taken root in small fingers
And caused legs to be as rigid as two tree trunks.

Creative Creator –
On the days our loved ones feels like giving up
Lead them to a new path
And innovative ways to live.

As their autonomic nervous systems swirl in the sea of chaos
And their minds become a little less clear,
We ask for you to guide them in their movements forward.

Steady their feet when they are about to fall.
Smooth the emotional roller coaster that’s whirling in their heads
And lift what little spirit that remains within them.

In their corners remain loved ones-
Wives and husbands.
Children.  Grandchildren.  Friends.
God, infuse them with the energy they need
To nurse and walk alongside of those they love.

Spirit of Healing and Health,
Spirit of New Starts and Future Graces,
Open doors that have slammed shut
And give them the resurrection they desire.

May their dry bones and muscles and nerves
Dance among us once again.