• Email Sign Up
  • Following me around the web…
  • Liturgies for the “Be the Church” Series
  • Quarantine/Pandemic Prayers & Liturgies
  • Sermons on Video
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Vocational Prayers
  • Want to know about me?

Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Category Archives: Pop Culture

The Spoon Theory and Churches

15 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

discernment, God, Small Churches, Spoon Theory and Churches

SpoonPeople with chronic illnesses are familiar with the Spoon Theory, an illustration of restricted energy.  In her writing, Christine Miserandino describes her limited energy by giving her friend twelve spoons.  Each spoon represents an activity.  Simple tasks like getting dressed or making the bed can cost one spoon.  By the end of the day, no “spoon”, or energy, remains.

This illustration is a reminder that people with limited energy must make decisions on how they will spend their energy for the day.  If they push themselves too hard one day and run out of spoons, they must borrow against the next day, leaving less energy for tomorrow.

Similarly, some of our churches only have so much energy and resources.  Unlike churches that have huge membership or endowments – or unlimited spoons, small churches with limited resources have so many spoons for the day, week or month.  No longer do they have a plethora of liveliness and warm bodies like they did back in the 50’s or 60’s.

With only so many people to serve on a number of different committees, a small number of the lay persons in our communities will spend countless hours working on programs.  Eventually they will find burnout.

Which is why small or limited churches must remember they are human institutions filled with human bodies.  Even though churches and people are limited, God is not.  Therefore, this is a time for us to turn to God in discernment.  Instead of beating ourselves up wondering why we only have so much energy, we should ask ourselves “Where does God want us to spend our time?”

By this discernment process, we aren’t spending the energy and resources we don’t have and burning out our entire congregation.  Instead, we are focusing our time, talent and treasures in ways that God is calling us.

This may mean ending certain groups that have been a piece of the church’s life for the past 50 years.  A fundraiser that worked well for our church ten years ago may not be bringing in the money anymore.  Is it time to try a new way of raising funds?  It may mean restructuring the governing boards.  People in our churches will grieve old ways of being church.  They will lament as they discard of programs that their parents created.  But maybe by letting go, we can find new life.  Maybe it is like the Jesus story: when Jesus the Christ released his spirit, he found new energy through the resurrection.

Similar to a person with a chronic, energy-depleting illness, a small church is not a dead or dying church.  There is plenty of life in that congregation.  The Spirit’s breath continues to flow.  But before exhaustion takes away our breath, now is the time to stop spinning wheels and squandering energy and listen for the still-speaking God around us.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

God’s Grace is Much Bigger Than Suicide

29 Monday Apr 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Cincinnati, Grace, La Salle High School, Love, Psalm 139, Romans 8, Shooting, suicide

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post in response to the suicide of Rick Warren’s child.  I still stand by my belief that people who commit suicide do not go to hell.

Today in this community, a high school student shot himself in his classroom.  As far as we know, he still struggles for his life.

No one is sure why this student would shoot himself in the classroom or even if he was trying to attempt suicide.

We’re not sure of much.  But I am sure that God still loves this young man.

Whether someone’s intention was to kill themselves or not, God is the God of grace and love who will continue to pursue us to the farthest place in the universe.  Psalm 139 reminds us that God is with us no matter how far we try to flee from God.  Romans 8:38-39 remind us that nothing will separate us from God’s love – and that includes suicide.

So today, we pray for this young man and his family.  We pray for those in the classroom who experienced this trauma.  God is with all of you and so are we.

Feel free to read this post I had written about the suicide of Rick Warren’s son:

Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

via Still Part of the Same Body as Rick Warren.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Remembering Birthdays

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

40, Birthday, birthdays, surprise parties, turning 40

zcakeAs I cross into midnight of this very significant birthday, I can’t help but remember a great number of birthdays gone by…

I struggled with influenza at 10.  And then I had to reschedule my birthday party twice.  The first time, I had a fever.  The second time, I woke up with nausea and low blood sugar.  The third time was a charm.

My house was filled with boxes on my 13th birthday.  Everything seemed so unsettled around me.  We moved two days later.

I invited a number of people to celebrate my 18th birthday at my parents’ house.  Of course, my parents were home (I was a well-behaved teenager).  But all my friends told me they couldn’t make it.  So the three friends who could attend took me out for dinner.  When we got back to my parents’ house, a multitude of friends yelled in unison “Surprise.”

It wasn’t a surprise.  I knew they were planning it.

Around my 19th birthday, I was dating a guy for a couple of months.  He took me out for my birthday dinner somewhere on The Hill in St. Louis.  When the check came, he asked me to pay for my own meal… but to slip the money under the table so no one could see that I was paying for myself.  I’m not sure how I allowed that relationship to last three more months.

I waited around for my boyfriend to join me at my parents house to ring in birthday #20.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And I believe tension blossomed when he finally showed up.

Celebrating my 21st birthday by going out at midnight.  I celebrated with the boyfriend, another classmate and my friend Lisa who died just a year ago.  The day after my birthday, I headed up to Canada to watch my grandma die.

Twenty-two was spent at a small but laid-back and cheerful gathering at my friend Mike’s apartment.

I celebrated 23 in Florida.  I had just interviewed and received my first real job.

My friends surprised me with a party for 25.  I didn’t have a clue they were planning my birthday.  But then it had crossed my mind that a party could be in the works as I walked into the restaurant.  I was surprised that time.

Then, the day after my 25th birthday was one of the most heartbreaking nights I’ve had in any relationship.

My 30th birthday was the day Baghdad fell.  And I cried when realizing what I had not yet completed in my life.  But my birthday cake was delicious.

On my 31st birthday, mom, dad and I went to the Magic Kingdom in Orlando.  It was delightful.  Because I was wearing a “It’s my birthday” button, I was wished “Happy Birthday” by countless strangers that day, most of whom were Disney employees.

My 32nd birthday was to be celebrated with another guy I was kind of seeing.  But then he kept delaying and delaying getting together with me.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And much later that evening, he finally called me after deciding to hang out with his adult nephew.  The next day, he gave me my birthday gift: glass jars.

From the time I was 35 until 37, I celebrated my birthday with seminary friends in St. Louis.  Usually, we would gather at Schlafly’s Bottleworks in Maplewood.  When I went back there for my 39th birthday, the restaurant was closed for the evening, and the party had to be moved to Roadhouse in Webster Groves.

Which brings me here to 39 (again), or also known as 40.  Forty years of birthdays, some I fondly remember and some crushed my heart.  But here are a few things I have learned from my birthdays:

  • I believe I’ve gotten more birthday smiles from strangers than old boyfriends.  But nothing compares to the birthdays I’ve spent with my friends and family who encircled me with love.
  • Now that I’m 40, I’m going to say it: I’m happy I’m not married to any of these guys.   Shouldn’t the people who say they love and cherish us live up to their promises – at least one day of the year?  Or give us a gift that has personal significance (even if they didn’t pay much for it)?  If they spend time with us, shouldn’t the words they use be words of love?  Lost loves: I’m glad I’ve know you.  I’ve learned much from you.  But now I’m looking towards the future where I am treated with dignity.
  • Gifts aren’t  necessary.   But when they are given, the greatest gifts are given from the heart and not the pocketbook.  Frankly, the greatest gift is time.
  • No birthday is perfect.  The more we try to perfect the day and raise our expectations, the more the day disappoints us.  When the unexpected happens or when expectations are low, then the day can only get better.
  • Each and every birthday greeting warms my heart.  I don’t care if I know you or how I know you, when you wish me “Happy Birthday”, you have ignited my soul.  Thank you.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

God Goes Pop – Resurrection Playlist Edition

31 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Music, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Alanis Morrisette, Anything Could Happen, At Last, Barry Manilow, Bright Side of the Road, Carry On, Dog Days Are Over, Don Henley, Don't Stop Believin', Easter, Ellie Goulding, Elton John, Emily, Escape Club, Etta James, Faith Hill, Fire and Rain, Florence + The Machine, Fun, Gloria Gaynor, Heart of the Matter, Here Comes the Sun, Here I Go Again, How to Save a Life, Huey Lewis and the News, I Made It Through the Rain, I will Always Love You, I Will Survive, I'll Be There, I'm Still Standing, Incomplete, Jacob's Ladder, James Taylor, Jimmy Eat World, Journey, Katy Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Let My Love Open the Door, Michael W. Smith, Music, P!nk, Part of Me, Paula Abdul, Pete Townshend, Peter Gabriel, Playlist, Promise of a New Day, Raise Your Glass, Resurrection, Shake It Out, Solsbury Hill, Someone Like You, Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You), The Beatles, The Fray, The Middle, There You'll Be, Van Morrison, Whitesnake, Whitney Houston

IMG_2477Last night, I was having a conversation with some folks about compiling a resurrection playlist.  For fun and inspired by them, I came up with a resurrection playlist.  These songs connected me to themes of remembering, hope, grace and resilience and have often been a source of comfort and strength during difficult moments.

1. Carry On – Fun
2. The Heart of the Matter – Don Henley 
3. Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding
4. I’ll Be There – Escape Club
5. Shake It Out – Florence & The Machine
6. Dog Days Are Over – Florence & The Machine
7. You’ve Got the Love – Florence & The Machine
8. Jacob’s Ladder – Huey Lewis and the News 
9. Fire and Rain – James Taylor 
10. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
11. Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey
12. Part of Me – Katy Perry 
13. Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson 
14. Emily – Michael W. Smith 
15. Raise Your Glass – P!nk
16. Promise of a New Day – Paula Abdul 
17. Let My Love Open the Door – Pete Townshend 
18. Solsbury Hill – Peter Gabriel 
19. Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles 
20. Bright Side of the Road – Van Morrison
21. Someone Like You – Van Morrison
22. Incomplete – Alanis Morrisette
23. There You’ll Be – Faith Hill
24. How to Save a Life – The Fray
25. Here I Go Again – Whitesnake
26. I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
27. At Last – Etta James
28. I Made It Through the Rain – Barry Manilow
29. I’m Still Standing – Elton John
30. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

What are some of your favorite songs that remind you of resurrection?  List them below or tweet me at @mictori.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

“Not Broken, Just Bent”

28 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Music, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

brokenness, Fun, Good Friday, Holy Week, Jesus, Just Give Me a Reason, Nate Ruess, Original Blessing, Original Sin, P!nk, Pink, sin

Recently, I have fallen in love with P!nk and Nate Ruess’ song “Just Give Me a Reason.”  The melody of the song is magnificent.  Yet there’s something about the words that reach into my heart.

It’s the lyric “Not broken, just bent.”

As Christians, what would it mean to call ourselves bent instead of broken?

I ponder the subjects of original sin, total depravity and these centuries-long idea that humans are so fallen that we can’t redeem ourselves – at least on our own.  What if that wasn’t the case?

What if we are just slightly dented?  What if we have the potential to smooth over our dings and bends because of the love of God, the leadership of Jesus the Christ and the strength of the Holy Spirit?

This is where Holy Week comes in…

Jesus died on a cross.  Did Jesus die to repair a brokenness? Or did Jesus die in the process of showing us ways of evening out the indentations on our souls and in our societies?

If we are made in God’s image, maybe we aren’t completely broken.  Maybe we just have been crushed and squashed by life, and it’s time for us to find God’s image within each one of us once again.

There is hope in knowing that we aren’t completely broken.  There’s possibilities for tomorrow.  There’s new ways of finding grace.  There’s dignity where we haven’t seen it before.

So I’m sticking with the school of thought that we are bent and not shattered.  And quite often, bends, twists and dents make us more beautiful anyway.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Bucket Lists

25 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

40, Ben Affleck, bucket list, buy house, cake decorating, child, half-marathon, Holy Week, Jesus, Love, marathon, marriage, movie extra, turning 40, Van Morrison, write book

IMG_20130325_200855In fifteen days, I turn 40.

This gives me no time to fill my “Before 40” bucket list – the list of activities I wished I had accomplished before I turn 40.  There are things I would have loved to cross off before this impending birthday, but it doesn’t look like these will happen.

Here is my “not going to accomplish before 40” bucket list.

  1. Meet the love of my life (could happen, probably won’t)
  2. Write a book
  3. Go to New York City
  4. Get married
  5. Go to Europe
  6. See Van Morrison in concert again
  7. Run a marathon/half-marathon
  8. Have a child (birth or adoption)
  9. Buy a house
  10. Meet Ben Affleck
  11. Take a cake decorating class
  12. Be an extra in a movie

I’m sure there’s other items…

Have some of you felt the urge to complete certain activities before you turned 30, 40, 50, etc?  What happened when you didn’t complete them?  Did you feel discouraged or even less than whjole?

Or did you save them for the next decade?

Why is completing our dreams so important by a certain age?  I think about Jesus the man, especially this Holy Week, I wonder if he was at a content place before he died?  Did he have his own Bucket List?  Was Jesus’ bucket list one that included improving the conditions for the poor and expendables during his time?  Was it one that included a significant other, marriage and children?

Or was he just blissful living fully in each moment?  Maybe that should be #1 on my list.

If you do have a way to help me make the other 12 things happen in the next 15 days, let me know…

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

It “Sucks”… Authentic Expression of Pain

22 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

death, divorce, Grey's Anatomy, grief, illness, losing loved ones, lost job, pain, Psalm 22, Psalm 88, sucks

Yes, to some of you, the word “sucks” is edgy.  Some will find this word and even this post offensive.  I hope others find grace in the way they express themselves.  My intention is not to offend but to help people find words for their pain.

On Thursday’s Grey’s Anatomy, a school teacher was dealing with her ill health.  This was a teacher whose students very much viewed her in high regard and missed her when she wasn’t in class.  She would correct her students when using certain terms, like “sucks.”   But when her students left the room, it was her time to process the terminal cancer diagnosis.  In verbalizing her pain and health challenges, she couldn’t help but use a certain word: “We don’t say ‘sucks.’  But this sucks.”

Growing up, my dad always hated the use of the word “sucks.”  So it wasn’t a term we used very often.  Somewhere in the back of my head, I still think of the word as derogatory language.

But I wonder if limiting ourselves of the words we use to express our deepest pain is doing us an injustice, especially if we use them in safe spaces.  Maybe authentically expressing our grief or pain is what we need to continue moving forward or to process our grief.  Maybe this includes using terms like “this sucks” because, frankly, nothing is closer to the truth when we hurt.

When someone hits a rough point of their lives, I sometimes have nothing else I want to say except “it sucks.”  To me, there are few words that can really embrace a low moment in our lives.

I get sad when people try to edit themselves around me because they know I’m a pastor.  Instead of being authentic and expressing their emotion in real ways, they avoid using curse words or talking about edgy parts of their lives.  What if you knew that your pastor would be fine with whatever words you need to use?  Would you be more open to expressing yourself?  How would this help you move forward in your life?

Lamenting is real.  Pain is real.  What do you want to say when you hurt horribly?

When a member of your family dies or your pet has to be put to sleep, it sucks.

When you lose a job, it sucks.

When you are diagnosed with a serious illness, it sucks.

When you have lost a relationship, it sucks.

I would rather hear someone try to comfort another person with “it sucks” because saying things like “it happens for a reason” or “God has a plan” doesn’t really affirm a person’s pain.  It’s just very unorthodox for a pastor or Christians to use curse words or edgy terms to affirm one’s grief.  But shouldn’t we be real about how we feel?  And shouldn’t I sit with you in that pain and affirm your difficulties in life?

Some may think this is taking the Lord’s name in vain, but I’m not using words that attack another human or speaking horrific words on behalf of God.  I’m trying to take the pain we see in Psalm 22:1 or Psalm 88 and give it 21st century words.

And, with me, it’s always a safe space to use the words that describe the pain in your hearts.

Are you challenged by this language?  Do you agree with these words?  Voice your thoughts below.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

St. Patrick’s Day Blessings

17 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Danny Boy, Irish Blessing, May the road rise up to meet you, Muppets, St. Patrick's Day

An Old Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of God’s hand.

And a little humor for the end of your day:

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Someone Lost…

10 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Social Media

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

abuse, breaking up, broken relationships, divorce, lost coin, lost sheep, Luke 15, prodigal son, reasons we stopped talking, Twitter

rip

This sermon was delivered at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Rd., Cincinnati on March 10, 2013.

Last night, the following was trending on Twitter: reasons we stopped talking.  For those new to Twitter, trending in social media means that it’s a very popular topic, and many people respond with their own answers and tweets.  So people were giving reasons why their relationships had ended.  Reasons included: “You didn’t make an effort to talk to me or make us work.”  “You changed.”  “You shattered my best friend’s heart.”  “We weren’t making the effort to communicate.”  “You doubted my intelligence.”  “I couldn’t trust you.”  “Because I always tend to push people that care away.”  “I was treated like a fool.”  “I really wish I knew, no clue.”

While some of these reasons are commonly found in romantic relationships, I think they can apply to any broken relationship.  A relationship breaks apart, and the person who you love and care for is no longer part of your life anymore.  And your mind goes through all of the possible reasons this happens.

Have you ever endured a broken friendship or relationship of some sort?  Specifically I’m talking about the kind of relationship with someone close.  Whether its parent-child, brother-sister, best friends, boyfriend-girlfriend, spouses – ending relationships hurt.

So who is affected?  How are they affected?  Our broken relationships ripple into the rest of society.  Not only are we hurt to our very core, but the negativity that is created by those relationships seeps into all that we do.

Luke 15 reminds us of those who have been affected by the ripping of a relationship: the story of the lost (or the one who wanders away), the story of the one who has lost something or someone and those affected by this broken relationship.

Today I give you reflections on three perspectives:

I start from the perspective from the one who was lost.

If you see me in Luke 15 – I’m the lost sheep.  I’m the coin – although coins typically don’t react to being lost.  I’m the son who wants to experience the wild and crazy life from home.

And now that I’m far from home, I’m scared.  Now that I’m away from those I love, I miss my previous life.    How would it be if I go home?  Would they curse at me or give me the cold shoulder?

Do I dare go back?  How would they take me if I go back?  What would my shepherd or my family think if I were to go back now?  I’ve messed up so much by leaving.

I’m holding on to so much shame from the past.  I don’t deserve love after leaving.  I’ve messed up so much with my life.  There is no way I could go back or dare to go back.  Maybe I’ll just stay here – away from everything.   But I’m not good being so far away from home.  They may have lost me, but I’ve lost myself too.  I don’t know who I am now that this relationship is over and I’m in this place of exile.

Maybe you’ve been like me… a friend who decided to walk away from a friendship.  A significant other who left their love.  A child who walked away from a parent.

Could it be that it’s not too late to go back?  Could it be that they are looking for me?  Might they rejoice when they see me again?  Dare I risk my heart by contacting them?

Now let’s look through the eyes of the one who has lost.

When you see me in Luke 15 – I’m the shepherd who has lost the sheep.  I’m the woman who has lost her coin.  I’m the father whose son has left home.

Have I said something to make them leave?  Have I done something to sever this relationship?

I keep going over and over in my head to see where I’ve messed up.

I don’t know who I am without this person in my life.  I live with the guilt that I did something wrong.  Should I spend all of my time trying to repair this relationship, or should I just love them and let them go.  If they love me, they’ll return when they are ready.  Which is best?

So yes, not only have I lost the relationship with my loved one, it’s starting to affect the relationship I have with myself.  I blame myself.

And it’s starting to affect the relationship I have with my other loved ones.  They think I’m obsessing over this.  I’m not spending enough time with them.   Let them go, they tell me.  I wish I could.

Might my loved one come back?  Or should I go after them?  These decisions are horrific to make.

In Luke 15 – the shepherd went after the sheep while leaving the others behind.  The woman frantically searched for the one coin.  But the father allowed his son to leave, knowing that loving someone means letting them go.  Which of these examples should I follow?

Finally, I give you the perspective of the one affected by the broken relationships

When you see me in Luke 15, I’m one of many sheep, left vulnerable by our shepherd running after just one other sheep.  I’m the son, faithful to the very end and angry that my father doesn’t appreciate me and my steadfast commitment to him.

I feel left behind.  To the one grieving their loved one, you aren’t the only one left.  All you do is spend your time thinking about the one who walked away.   From where I’m standing right now, I feel so much less important in your eyes.  And I’ve been by your side the whole time.  I’ve been trying to stand by you while you grieve this relationship.

So now that he’s back, you want me to rejoice with you?  He left you behind!  I never left your side and you can’t give me the time of day.

I feel lost too.  I don’t feel safe in our relationship.  My trust is lacking because you have decided to spend your energy on someone who deserted you.

What could I have done to make you love me more???

**********************************************************************************************************

It’s tough to celebrate life when we’ve lost a relationship.  It’s tough to rejoice when we see our loved ones return to a relationship with someone who hurt them terribly.  Here’s a few points to think about when building and grieving relationships.

  • Loving another person in any capacity is risky.  When we love someone, we have no idea if they will leave or crush our hearts at some point.  Is it worth the risk?
  • Broken relationships affect so many.  When someone walks away from us, how do we react?  How do those reactions affect the friendships we still have?  Do we lose a string of relationships because one relationship ends?  Does that feed into our loneliness?
  • Broken relationships call for a period of grieving.  One thing I wish is that we could escape grieving in our life.  But that’s not going to happen.  We will grieve when we lose an important item or a way of living.  And we will definitely grieve when a relationship is lost, a friend, family member or significant other leaves or dies.   Are we setting aside the proper time and space for that grief?  Are we honoring our friends’ times of grief?
  • We often can lose ourselves and others trying to deal with broken relationships.  Again, we go over and over in our heads what led to the severed friendship.  How is this loss making us doubt ourselves?  How is this robbing our committed loved ones from our love and time with them?
  • Is it best to run after a person when they leave, or if you love something let it go?  I guess it all depends on the situation, lots of prayer and time to listen for God.
  • It’s tough to find trust after it has been lost.  How do I know whether or not you are going to leave me again?  How do I know you still love me?  We don’t know.  That takes faith.
  • If abuse is part of that relationship, then sometimes our only option is to walk away.  Yes, we will still grieve, but we each deserve the dignity of being physically, mentally and spiritually safe.  And being made in God’s image, none of use deserve abuse as part of our lives.  There are times when broken relationships are unavoidable, and safety is a primary reason.
  • Lastly, God is the God of broken hearts.  Our God walks with us when our relationships break and we try to piece together how that relationship ended.  God gives us the grace to throw aside our shame and repair relationships when they can be repaired.  If a relationship can not be repaired, God walks with us in our grief.  God gives us seeds of trust when all trust is lost.  And in one way or another, God will help us see resurrection once again.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...

Something Greater – A Sermon on the God Who Expands Outside of the Box

04 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

God, Isaiah 55, Makers, PBS, Social Justice, Syrophonecian woman, Women's History Month, Women's Ordination, Women's Rights

Image0255This sermon was delivered on March 3, 2013 at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Rd, Cincinnati.

During this past week, I watched the PBS documentary Makers: Women who make America.  Watching this program was a great way to usher in women’s history month which started on March 1.  This program documented the transitions, achievements and rights that women have accomplished in the past 60 years.

Did you know there was a time when women were not allowed to run in marathons?  I never realized the story of the 1967 Boston Marathon when Katherine Switzer signed up and ran the race.  Women were not allowed at that time to run in the marathon, and the race director tried to physically pull her out of the race.  Instead, she continued to run.  The men running along side of Katherine were so excited to see her in that race.  The call of God stirred inside of her, got her on that path and kept her running.  Because Katherine followed her call, more races became available to women.

As I continued to watch this documentary, I never realized how many limitations there were on women sixty or seventy years ago.  Sure – so many women were called by God to stay at home and take care of their children full time, a truly important and beautiful vocation.  But, there were so many women who were called elsewhere, maybe in the workplace or as social activists, other valid and genuine calling.  But sixty years ago – society frowned upon that.  As this documentary showed, jobs were primarily open to young, single women before they were married.  There were segregated help wanted ads – one list for men and one for women.  And jobs for African American women were even more limited – mostly to maids.  All of this opened my eyes to a world that I never had to live in, even though, now, I’m one of these women called outside of the box.

Maybe there are still small limitations here and there, but today women can honor the direction that God is calling them without society saying a definite no.

We’ve locked God in a box and have a very limited view of the Divine working in the world.  Even when society is becoming more relaxed, there are those of us who sell ourselves short even when we are being called to something greater.

I also realized that I was holding myself back in my younger days, not seeing that God’s dreams was bigger than human dreams.  During my senior year in high school, I gave a speech that would shock all of you right now: it was on “why women shouldn’t be pastors.”  Yes, looking back, it’s very ironic.  I’m sure I probably used the text from 1 Timothy 2 – that women should be silent in churches.  After taking various speech, acting and debate classes over the years, it was the only time I received a C on any speech.

In 1991, even I didn’t think it was possible that I could be a pastor.  I had squished God inside of a very small box.  As God’s ways are bigger than my ways and God’s dreams bigger than my dreams, God got the last laugh on that one.

By the time I was in my late twenties, my mind had not only changed about female clergy, but I could also tell that God was starting to call me in that direction.

But women clergy is still kind of something new in our culture.  While women really started becoming pastors in the seventies and eighties, I’ve had people tell me that they’ve never met a female pastor before.  It’s a joy to be a testimony on the still-speaking God in our world.

Reflecting upon this scripture today, I kept wanting to focus back on two particular verses: Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

What we often see are two opposing viewpoints using God.  Some would tell me that God’s ways are not my ways and I shouldn’t be a pastor.  They would quote the same 1 Timothy 2 text that I used in my high school speech to quiet me.  But what if God doesn’t take sides and God wants everyone’s voices to be heard?  What if God wants women to be pastors?

When I look at whether a group of people should have rights, I don’t just quote scriptures that limit them – whether it’s women, or racial minorities or when others have a different sexual orientation.  I personally base my ethical frame with these principles in mind: Is there Justice where everyone has the same rights and the same way to achieve?  Are all people being loved as we would want to be loved?  Are we giving others the same dignity we deserve?

I often think that if we are afforded certain rights, shouldn’t others have the same rights as we have.  People who are older or younger?  People who are gay or transgendered?  People who celebrate their faiths in other ways?

I also remember the scripture of the Syrophonecian woman that used her voice to stand up for her own dignity.   Even when Jesus felt limited by what people deserved love and grace, God was working through the voice of this woman to show a greater way of living.  And Jesus changed his mind.

I think about Mary Magdalene.  According to John’s gospel, she was the first follower asked to spread the good news of resurrection.  Yes, according to this gospel, it was a woman.  I think about Acts 2 and how women are called to prophesy.  I think about early church leaders like Phoebe and Lydia.

What great things are God calling us to?  What kind of world is God seeing that we can’t see?  Women can stay at home if that is where God is calling them.  Women can go into the workplace if God is calling them there.    Likewise, if a man is called to be home while his wife works, that is fine too.  Men can be nurses and secretaries like women can be doctors and CEOs.  There is something greater than our societal limits: it’s God’s call.

And many say that I’m being disobedient by standing up here today and being in this pulpit.  Even my 18 year old self would say that.  But what I didn’t realize at 18 was that God was bigger than a few Bible verses.  That God called both men and women into the pulpit and to teach in various contexts.

Women and minorities have had visions for years, vision and dreams that God has called us to.  But why do we hold back the dreams of others by holding back their rights?  Why should humans limit when God has called?  How does the Church still limit what God has called?  When we limit people we limit God’s action in this world.

For many of us who have felt limited by the church or a few doctrines or for those of us who have limited ourselves, we deny ourselves nourishment of social justice that everyone deserves.  Years ago, nourishment was denied when American society had separate water fountains or lunch counters or help wanted sections.   We have forgotten that all of us deserve these great things because we are ALL made in God’s image and that God’s ways are bigger than our ways.

It’s true that humans often place God in a box and sometimes it is done to control other people.  We, as individuals and the Church, can no longer place God in a box.  God is in all and around all and always present.  God is the God of resurrection and new starts.  And God will find a way to burst out of the box that we put Him… or Her… in.

In what ways is God calling you to new areas?  What kinds of things have you been called to – even though society still has certain expectations?  The God of great thoughts and dreams will walk with us as we follow our great call, leading us in new places that have been closed to us.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
Like Loading...
← Older posts
Newer posts →

CCblogs Network

CCblogs Network

RevGalBlogPals

RevGalBlogPals
Follow Michelle L. Torigian on WordPress.com

Michelle L. Torigian

Michelle L. Torigian

Rev. Michelle Torigian's Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Archives

  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • August 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • September 2023
  • July 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • September 2011
  • December 2010

Blogroll

  • A Southern Pastor's Life in the North
  • Ancient/Future Faith
  • Associated Luke
  • Coffeehouse Contemplative
  • Emily C. Heath
  • For the Someday Book
  • Go and Tell with Grace
  • Katie Steedly
  • Liturgy Geek
  • musings about liturgical adventures, poetic journeys and such
  • One Whole Step
  • Reflections of Ryberg
  • Scattered Graces

Tags

Advent advent prayer Advent prayers anxiety Armenian Genocide Body of Christ careers Childless Childlessness Christ Christianity Christmas Church Communion Communion Liturgy Coronavirus COVID-19 death depression divorce domestic violence Easter Endometriosis Epiphany Feminism God Grace Grey's Anatomy grief grief prayers Healing Holy Week Hope Infertility Jesus Justice Lent Lenten Prayers LGBT Life Liturgy loss of loved one loss of parent Love Mental health Mother's Day motherhood mourning National Day Prayers pain Prayer Prayers progressive Christian progressive Christianity Progressive Christianty Psalm 139 Quarantine racism rape Resurrection sexism sexual assault Single Singlehood single in the sanctuary Social Justice Surgery Thanksgiving UCC United Church of Christ Vashti vocational prayers vocations widows worship

Categories

  • Advent prayers
  • Be the Church
  • Church Life
  • Communion Liturgy
  • COVID Prayers
  • Current Events
  • Epiphany Liturgy/Prayers
  • grief
  • Health
  • Holidays
  • Hygge
  • Lent Prayers
  • Life
  • Liturgy
  • Movies
  • Music
  • National Day Prayers
  • National Donut Day
  • Poetry
  • Pop
  • Pop Culture
  • Prayers
  • Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers
  • Religion
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Social Justice
  • Social Media
  • Sports
  • Television
  • UCC Statement of Faith
  • Vocation Prayers
  • Wordpress Blogger University

RSS Michelle L. Torigian

  • A Prayer for ADHD Awareness Month
  • A Mean Girls Day Blessing
  • A Blessing of the Cats
  • A Prayer for National Donut Day
  • A Lament of a Misogynistic Speech
  • A Blessing for the Words We Need
  • A Lament for Constant Anxiety
  • A Blessing of the Storytellers
  • A National Backward Day Prayer
  • A Prayer When Missing Our Loved Ones

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 322 other subscribers

Pages

  • Email Sign Up
  • Following me around the web…
  • Liturgies for the “Be the Church” Series
  • Quarantine/Pandemic Prayers & Liturgies
  • Sermons on Video
  • Single in the Sanctuary
  • Vocational Prayers
  • Want to know about me?

Blogroll

  • A Southern Pastor's Life in the North
  • Ancient/Future Faith
  • Associated Luke
  • Coffeehouse Contemplative
  • Emily C. Heath
  • For the Someday Book
  • Go and Tell with Grace
  • Katie Steedly
  • Liturgy Geek
  • musings about liturgical adventures, poetic journeys and such
  • One Whole Step
  • Reflections of Ryberg
  • Scattered Graces

Archives

  • November 2025
  • October 2025
  • August 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • September 2023
  • July 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • July 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • September 2011
  • December 2010

Tags

Advent advent prayer Advent prayers anxiety Armenian Genocide Body of Christ careers Childless Childlessness Christ Christianity Christmas Church Communion Communion Liturgy Coronavirus COVID-19 death depression divorce domestic violence Easter Endometriosis Epiphany Feminism God Grace Grey's Anatomy grief grief prayers Healing Holy Week Hope Infertility Jesus Justice Lent Lenten Prayers LGBT Life Liturgy loss of loved one loss of parent Love Mental health Mother's Day motherhood mourning National Day Prayers pain Prayer Prayers progressive Christian progressive Christianity Progressive Christianty Psalm 139 Quarantine racism rape Resurrection sexism sexual assault Single Singlehood single in the sanctuary Social Justice Surgery Thanksgiving UCC United Church of Christ Vashti vocational prayers vocations widows worship
January 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Nov    

Category Cloud

Advent prayers Be the Church Church Life Communion Liturgy COVID Prayers Current Events Epiphany Liturgy/Prayers grief Health Holidays Hygge Lent Prayers Life Liturgy Movies Music National Day Prayers Poetry Pop Pop Culture Prayers Quarantine Liturgy and Prayers Religion Single in the Sanctuary Social Justice Social Media Sports Television UCC Statement of Faith Vocation Prayers

Recent Posts

  • A Prayer for ADHD Awareness Month
  • A Mean Girls Day Blessing
  • A Blessing of the Cats
  • A Prayer for National Donut Day
  • A Lament of a Misogynistic Speech

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Michelle L. Torigian
    • Join 322 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Michelle L. Torigian
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d