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Michelle L. Torigian

~ God Goes Pop Culture

Michelle L. Torigian

Category Archives: Current Events

The Refugee

05 Saturday Sep 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Armenia, Armenian Genocide, Exodus 22, refugee, refugees, Syria, Syrian crisis

IMG_0426I am the granddaughter of a refugee.

Without the courage and resilience of my grandfather, I wouldn’t be here in this country.  I wouldn’t have privilege.  I may not have food or housing or the respect I deserve as a woman.

Or I may not be alive.  I may never have been born.

Somewhere back in each of our histories, I can imagine that we have the one person who was a refugee, an alien in a new land during a time of exile.  In the diaspora, they were strangers and lived on the grace and hospitality of others.

Exodus 22 says that we “shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.”

My grandfather was an alien, a refugee.

My grandfather told me the ugly stories of genocide, of wandering around the Caucasus region for years as an Armenian during and after the Genocide.  Like the Israelites and the Syrians, he was in the wilderness.  He ate little bits of greens on the side of the road, wondering where and when his next meal would come.

And he wondered when the day would come that life would get better.

He told me about the children thrown into the Euphrates River so the Turks wouldn’t steal their babies.  He told me about their screaming that never left his head.

They wanted control of how things ended.  They didn’t want to give their oppressors the power, and they ended or risked their own lives.

So when I see a child’s breathless body resting on the beaches of Turkey, I wonder if that’s what my grandfather saw.  I wonder if that was the scene in Turkey 100 years ago.  I wonder if my grandfather had sleepless nights worrying that this would be his final scene.

The children and women of 1915 had no chance to become refugees like my grandfather did.  Many women and men and children of 2015 have no chance of becoming refugees like my grandfather did.

So what would it take for us to welcome the alien in our land?  What would it take to follow this edgy request from God?  Is it remembering that one person in our family’s history was an alien in this land?  Is it seeing the horrific photo of a small lifeless child on the beach?

People want to build walls and fences and export the aliens in our land.  And they forget that in the blood coursing through their veins is refugee blood.  They carry – we all carry – the DNA of someone who came to this country hoping for a fresh beginning because of starvation or oppression.

Will we all remember?  Will we all work?

Or will the lifeless continue wash ashore on the banks of the Euphrates or Mediterranean or Atlantic or any body of water?  Their blood is on our world’s hands and mixed into the water of our world.

 

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Wanting More Than Crumbs – Women’s Equality Day

27 Thursday Aug 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

child marriage, domestic violence, ERA, human trafficking, Mark 7, National Dog Day, rape, sexual abuse, Suffrage, Syrophoenician woman, Women's Equality, Women's Equality Day

Annibale Carracci [Public domain], Christ and Canaanite Woman via Wikimedia Commons

Yesterday was National Dog Day!  People expressed much love for their pets all over social media.

Ironically – or maybe not so ironically – it’s also Women’s Equality Day.  Only 95 years ago and after many arduous efforts, women received the right to vote.

Now, I’ve never had a dog, and I may not be a dog person, but I believe in the well-being of our animals.  It’s nice to see so many people showing love of and care for their pets.

Yet Women’s Equality Day is not trending anywhere near the numbers of dog love.  In some ways, it’s understandable.  How often do we celebrate our pets?  Women are celebrated on various days in various ways throughout the year.

The problem which remains is that women are still compared to and treated like dogs – and not the ones we consider our lovable pets.  Think of politicians, pundits and celebrities who call the women that disagree with them “dogs.”  Or how many women will be treated like an animal while they walk down the street.  Names of all sorts, whistles and howls will be thrown their way as they walk to work, lunch or their next task.  Women feel more like an object than a breathing being.

Each time we turn around, we have people trying to rid us of reproductive health care options.  Still in this country, we make considerably less money than men.  In 2013, it was recorded that we make 78 cents for every dollar a man makes.  And minority women will make less money than we white women will earn, adding an additional gap to their pay.

Women face rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence at higher rates than men.  Women are brushed aside when reporting rape, and rape kits wait to be processed.  All around the world, women are mutilated, sold and bought, and given in marriage even though they’ve barely reached puberty.  It’s said that 25,000 girls under the age of 18 are given in marriage each day.

And while there are pets being treated far worse than women, some are treated with more dignity and humanity than women across our world.  Some dogs are fed well while some women starve.  Some dogs have the privilege of roaming properties; some women are shackled.

So maybe it’s time for us to be like the woman from Syrophoenicia in Mark 7 and stand up for our rights.  We deserve more than the crumbs under the table.  We deserve to be whole and healthy.  We deserve to have our voices heard, our bodies respected, and our work valued.

Some of us are closer to being considered fully human because we’re white and straight and able-bodied.  It’s still not easy being a woman with privilege, but those of us with more privilege have it easier.  We must remember that the fight isn’t over when white women have full equality and our minority sisters have not.  When that day comes, we still are not equal, and we still keep on working to make sure that Black women matter and lesbian women matter and Hispanic women matter and physically disabled women matter and transgender women matter.  When all women have equality, then we are all equal and we are all sitting at the table together.

The crumbs under the table aren’t enough.  We want to be seen as full human beings.   We want to be recognized by the Church that both men AND women are made in the image of God and by the State that BOTH are created equal.  We want and deserve to be at the table with men and not crawling on the floor looking for the crumbs.

 

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The Sin of Symbolism

03 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Sports

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Cleveland Indians, Made in God's image, Native Americans, racism, sexism, UCC General Synod, Veiled Prophet, Veiled Prophet Ball, Veiled Prophet Parade, VP Fair, VP Parade, Washington Redskins

Program title page, Sixth Veiled Prophet Festival, 1883 produced by the Compton Litho Company via Wikimedia Commons

Confession: As a young adult living in the St. Louis area around 1992, I nixed the idea of changing the name of the fair held during the fourth of July weekend.  Growing up, the festival now called Fair St. Louis was always known as the VP Fair.  Why change the name, I wondered.  IT’S TRADITION!  I cared more about what we’ve always done and less about any symbolism and meaning behind the name VP Fair.

I didn’t realize VP meant more than just the letters V and P…

As time passed, I learned more about the Veiled Prophet Fair and all festivities connected to the twisted tradition.  During their yearly Veiled Prophet Ball, young adult women from prominent families “come out” to society, with the queen nestled next to a veiled prominent older (almost exclusively white) man from the St. Louis area.  When reading about the history of the Ball, one can see the Confederate roots associated with the pomp and pageantry.

In 2014, The Atlantic wrote an excellent piece on the traditions connected to the Veiled Prophet organization, adding to my education of a deeply rooted classist and racist traditions.  Searching more on the organization, I stumbled upon their website.  The Veiled Prophet organization stresses the philanthropic and service work done in their name.  And while, undoubtedly, the organization has done wonderful things for the St. Louis area, the organization is haunted by racist symbolism in every corner – from the parade to the highly exclusive ball.

Whether it was our yearly online reminder of these annual St. Louis festivities, stories of removal of the Confederate flag, or dialogues, marches, and votes on the names of the Cleveland baseball team and District of Columbia football team that we had at UCC General Synod this week, we are examining the potential sins of symbols.  Each of these traditional icons have a history in oppression.  While those who honor the symbols today do not necessarily support or promote a culture of bigotry, implicitly, we are all responsible for the pain they are causing minority groups.

Each of the symbols I’ve mentioned continue to hold up an empire where some people are valued over others.  The icons say that our history was fine just as it was, never mind that some people were considered less than made in God’s image.

This is more than just being “politically correct.”  (I find it interesting how people of privilege always fall back on the hardship of political correctness – as if taking away a beloved symbol is worse than taking away one’s life, physical and economic freedoms, and dignity.)  With black churches burning, black Christians being shot in their sanctuaries, and black women preachers physically being threatened, it’s time for us to all gather together to make sure all people have their dignity intact – whether they are a racial minority, ethnic minority – including our Native Americans, woman or other gender minority, LGBT person, religious minority, or person with a disability.  It’s time for all of us to examine each symbol to make sure that the icon isn’t robbing someone of their worth.  It’s time for us to prioritize people over shallow and destructive emblems, and it’s time for us to seek reconciliation for our narrow-mindedness rooted in tradition.

 

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Being Remembered 

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Pop

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Armenian Genocide, General Synod, GS2015, Philippians 4, UCC, United Church of Christ

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

For just a little while today, the voice of my grandfather lingered here on the earth.

Bits of his story were heard.  His struggles were uncovered.  His trauma validated.  The hearts of survivors and the souls of the victims were recalled for moments on the United Church of Christ 

Surviving the Armenian Genocide of 1915 remained with my grandfather from the time he was six years old.  Images of death flashed back into his head now and again throughout this life.  In his final two years, he abided in silence, confined to a wheelchair post-stroke.  I often wondered what he relived in his head, haunting him, as he waited to die.

…in everything by thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

So today, I thank my denomination.  For me, this was the most personal resolution brought to General Synod that I can remember.  This is my larger church body affirming what atrocities my grandfather saw and that my kin endured nightmares while awake.
Today, more people learned about this hideous piece of history.   My sisters and brothers tweeted and voted and spoke on a well-buried piece of history.

Rejoice!

Maybe my country won’t call this a genocide.  Maybe some people would rather focus on politics than justice.  But today, the people of God stood up and named it for the injustice that it truly was: genocide.

And maybe if we keep calling injustices what they truly are, they will never happen again.  

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

May hope abide.

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The Shifting Relationship Between Parents and Kids

21 Sunday Jun 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Life, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Aging, Aging Parents, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Parkinson's Disease, progressive Christian

There Dad and Michellereaches a point where you no longer see the dad of your teen years.  The dad who would ground you is gone.  The physically strong father has transformed into something even stronger – maybe not in body but in mind and soul.

And the energy between you and them have shifted.  The nurturer becomes the nurtured.

A few years ago, my father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.  While the first few years weren’t too horrible, the last couple have been heartbreaking.

Watching my dad’s health on its roller coaster trajectory has opened my eyes to the reality of this part of life: he’s aging and our time together is limited.  Our interactions are different than the way we interacted twenty years ago.

So much has changed.

Now, knowing how Parkinson’s works, my dad may live with the disease for the next 10 to 15 years – or longer.  It’s not a death sentence.  But the disease won’t regress.  We won’t grow any younger.  Even I don’t have the same energy from twenty or twenty-five years ago.  Our new normal is a middle-aged daughter and an aging dad.

Being a pastor, I see congregants age and fellow Generation X members, not to mention friends, losing parents all of the time.  My heart breaks because I know I’ll lose my parents someday in the future, and that makes me sad.

I try to cherish every hug and “I love you” while I have them around.

So on this Father’s Day, while mom and dad are still around, I want to tell you here, in public, how much I love you both.  Thank you for your love, your guidance, your support and resources – especially when heading into the ministry.  Thank you for all of the trips we took to visit seminaries and for all the trips back to Florida to prepare for ordination.  Thank you for allowing me the two a.m. phone calls when I was worried about something or another.  Thank you for caring for me after my wisdom teeth, colonoscopy and laparoscopic procedures.  Thank you for reading me stories as a child and reading over my writings (for editing) as an adult.  Thank you for teaching me and, occasionally, being open to learning from me.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing between us, and I’m truly sorry for the moodiness at 14 and moments of frustration over the past 42 years.  Overall, I think we survived pretty well.  For the two of you, I’m always grateful and blessed.

me and dad ordination day

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The Glorious Exhaustion of Pastoral Care

15 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Jesus, Jesus Christ, Pastoral Care, Pastoral Stress, self-care

Jesus Goes Up Alone onto a Mountain to Pray James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

There is nothing greater and, simultaneously, more draining than being in the midst of the squalls of grief that we encounter as clergy.

Recently, we had a few deaths in our congregation.  I loved the people who passed away as I had gotten to know each one of them.  Each death wasn’t sudden but, rather, an intense time of fading away for the dying and their families.

Being that pastoral care is probably in my top three to five passions for ministry, I try as much as I can to spend as much time as possible with the congregant ready to pass and their families.  If I can and they are awake, I bring communion to them one last time.  I’ll pray the “time of dying” litany in the Book of Worship with them and their kin.  Each time I visit them during those last days, I see them moving farther and farther from our world, drifting closer to that side of heaven.

These are some of the most sacred moments I’ve ever experienced.  God is visible as I watch their loved ones stroke their hands and kiss their heads a few final times.  Quite often, it takes everything I have to hold back the tears that are ready to gush forward from my eyes.

As pastors, we want to be as invested as possible in the lives of our congregants.  This means that the remaining hours in our day are weakened by our sapped souls.

Desks seem to pile up with papers and various other items.  Writing slows down.  Blog posts get place on the back burner.  (Usually writing is a energy-generating activity.  This particular season, I was even too tired to engage in writing.)  Maybe I forget a detail or two – names, dates, etc.  A steady stream of binge-watching Netflix becomes the norm because our minds are completely spent from our work.  Naps become the new norm.  Even though I’m an extrovert, I want more alone time to recharge.

Why am I so tired??? I would ask myself.  But I knew I was giving everything I had to my calling and knew I was exactly where God needed me to be.  I was giving life 100% of myself.  The grace of God would have to cover the rest.

Like I said, I feel incredibly blessed to be present for others in the midst of life’s messy moments.  But what I will overlook on occasion is that my self care needs to improve as I’m caring for other people.

As they say on the airplanes, place the oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on the person next to you.  If we’re not breathing, we are no good to anyone else.

Overall, I think I do well with self care.  And I know every great once-in-a-while, a rush of intense pastoral care comes into every pastor and every congregation’s life, and everything gets thrown off balance a bit.  I am blessed to have the example of Jesus, who made sure to get away to pray and rest.  But even with Jesus as model, it takes much for us to regain our spiritual equilibrium after spending our soul reserves quite quickly.

For those of you reading this who are not members of the clergy, at some point you will most likely become a caregiver.  The same rules apply.  Care for yourself as needed so that you can continue to care for your loved one.  Make sure to place the metaphorical oxygen mask on your face before placing one upon the person or persons for which you care.

Through the grace of God, the love of Christ, the energy of the Holy Spirit… and some Netflix binge-watching… spirits will revive once again.

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The End of an Era… And a Beginning: An Affirmation of Call for Don Draper

21 Thursday May 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

advertising, AMC, Coca Cola, Coke, Don Draper, Mad Men, Mad Men finale, Spiritual journey Don Draper

AMC/Mad Men

*Warning: This post contains spoilers*

So that’s how it ends… with a smirk and a Coke ad.

Immediately, dedicated fans went to a cynical place… Mad Men‘s Don Draper sold out… He was just in this for the advertising…

I disagree.

I do not believe Don’s resulting peace from the search for his identity wasn’t short lived.  Quite the opposite.  He found peace in being Don Draper.  He found serenity in the slivers of his identity which remained Dick Whitman.  And through his search, he discovered that in his soul, he was Don.

He was an ad man with a creative spirit at his core.

Much like Romans 14:14 “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean…” there is nothing sinful or wrong about advertising in itself.  People like to think that Don returning to his passion meant that he abandoned all spiritual growth.  Rather, I believe Don’s future indicated that ads can be used to send positive energies into the world – not just to objectify people and sell products.  Think about the ads on television.  Which ones bring positive memories?  Which ones would you rather never see again?

I remember the Coke ad portrayed in the final scene from the early years of my childhood.  Even though Coca Cola was trying to sell a product, they wanted to capture something positive at the same time, and spread that positive ethos into the world.  The ad left harmonious feelings within me – probably for the remainder of my life.

In a past life, I was in marketing and public relations.  I wrote press releases, created events that would attract people, and found ways to showcase our brand to the world.  This work was thrilling.  Being able to create and promote brought new challenges, unpredictability and the joy of art.

I still do some of this today.  But now that I’m promoting God instead of products, it’s called evangelism.  Like I said – advertising and promotion can be for good.

We like to think  that some professions are the “good” or “clean” professions and others are “bad” or “unclean.”  (Think about Jesus’ time.  Tax collectors were the ultimate unclean job – besides taking care of pigs.)

Clergy, police, military, doctors and teachers are often considered the “clean” professions while advertising agents, lawyers or a plethora of other professions are “unclean.”  Yet clergy and teachers are found in sexual misconduct.  Occasionally, police and military will abuse their power.  Of course, most people in these professions are noble and kind-hearted.  But a profession should never dictate whether or not someone is a decent person.

Likewise, a profession shouldn’t indicate that someone is cynical or selfish.  Lawyers defend innocent people and stand for noble causes all of the time.  And artistic folks invigorated in the thrill of birthing an idea to build a brand use their creative juices to paint a picture and invoke emotions.

That was Don.  But in the evolution of Don Draper, we see a soul continue to struggle and grow.  Even though this growth happened, it doesn’t mean he must give up advertising.  Instead, he uses advertising as a medium to bring the happiness he now has experienced into the world.

Don’s passion for advertising transcended much in his life.  No matter what his personal life entailed, he still had a knack for the creative.  When he felt his creativity became suffocated (in the antepenultimate episode), Don immediately left the meeting with the Miller rep and a room full of fellow ad men.  The last passion he held onto, creativity in advertising, was drifting away from him, deepening his identity crisis.  He needed to wander.

For three episodes, Don searched for who he was.  Was he Don?  Was he Dick?  Was he an ad man, a fraud, a cheat?  What has he done with his life?  Did he give honor to the real Don Draper?

There is admiration in Don’s journey.  He didn’t abandon the retreat when exposing his fallacies, suffering a panic attack and possibly contemplating suicide.  He continued the tough work that was needed to find his true identity and discover whatever peace he needed to be his best self.   While Don always professed “moving forward,” he had to work through some demons before he could truly move forward with his life.

He finally found peace.  And then he found clarity.  And then his creativity came back – in greater and positive ways.

So what if he went back into advertising?  That’s Don at his best.  Being at his healthiest and happiest, he will only produce quality ads – ones that take us to a place of bliss.

And that’s why we always will want to buy the world a Coke and live in harmony.

 

Just tonight, I discovered this article in which Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner explained the conclusion.  While most of this was written before discovering the article, I am excited to see that my conclusion wasn’t far of from Weiner’s thoughts.

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The Plans We Make

10 Sunday May 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Life, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

child-free, Childless, Mother's Day, Mother's Day 2015, motherhood, prom, Single

By Kim Navarre from Brooklyn, NY (Aleks’ beautiful corsage Uploaded by France3470) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Last night I saw a gaggle of teens dressed in formal wear walking to and from the restaurant.

It was prom.

Thinking about it, I realized that I attended my first and second proms 25 and 24 years ago, respectively.  Styles have changed notably.  I’m pretty sure hair is not quite as big but heels on shoes are higher.

Twenty-five years ago… TWENTY-FIVE years…

Then, a little math goes on in my head.  If I had a child when I had first planned, I would have been 25 years ago.  Seventeen years have passed since I was 25, which would make my fictitious child old enough to attend her or his junior prom this year.

There is no way I’m old enough to have a child who would be attending prom…

But life never worked out the way I had originally planned.  I made lots of plans over the years, and one-by-one, so many have fallen through.  Some I stopped wishing for years ago.  Others, I still have pangs of sadness because they never materialized.

So on this Mother’s Day, I think about the 17 year old I could have had – and maybe a 14 year old too.  I think about formal dress shopping that won’t happen, the first days of kindergarten into which I’ll never walk my child and the pre-birth quickening I will never feel.

Three hundred and sixty days of the year, I never think about these things.  I’m fine with the life I have and appreciate my present circumstances.  But today I set aside time to grieve a bit for the plans that never happened, mostly because that a little piece of who I hoped to be vaporized into the past.  Some dreams of yesterday just won’t happen.

And that makes me just a little sad.

I will wrestle with God.  We’re not cool this day, God.  At least not in this moment.  But we will be fine.  We’ll be fine tomorrow when this day reminding me of unanswered prayers and silent homes and empty wombs and plans that have been buried is over.

And I’ll go back to the blissful life that plans B, C and D have afforded me.

 

 

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The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary

27 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Religion

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Church, Fertility, Infertility, Mother's Day, OB/GYN, pregnancy

Here is my latest at the RevGalBlogPals page:

The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary

via The Pastoral is Political – On Being an Outsider at the OB/GYN and in the Sanctuary.

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Eternal Resilience: A Prayer Remembering the Armenian Genocide of 1915

23 Thursday Apr 2015

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Armenian Genocide, Armenian Genocide 1915, Armenian Genocide Centennial, Armenian Martyrs' Day, Prayer, Prayer for Armenian Genocide

Soothing Spirit,
Whose gentle winds hovered over the Euphrates,
Surround our souls with support in these days of remembrance.

Strengthen our resolve to never let anyone forget
The atrocities of April 24 and beyond –
The genocide of the Armenian People.

They wanted to kill all of the aunts and uncles and grandparents
And place the very last one in a museum to show their sordid victory.

But they did not win.
Hate was not victorious.

We remember the spirits of our ancestors,
Of our sisters and brothers in Christ,
Marching through the mayhem
Of death, confusion, loss.
We remember their steps on the march to Deir-Zor
Their empty stomachs and heavy hearts.
Their lives chipped away
As they lost their mom, or baby, or brother,
and endured violations of body, mind and soul.

In gratitude, we remember those who defied their people,
The Turkish and Kurdish souls who rebelled against the powers-that-be
Saving the lives of kin.
We are grateful for those who stand against the powers today
And refuse to call these events anything but a genocide.

Heal our hearts as the deniers’ speeches become
Louder and louder.
Their words will melt into the pool of justice one day.

We give voice to the trauma that lingered in survivors’ hearts
From the days they left their homes in the ‘Old Country’
To the moment when they saw the face of God.

Help all who carry the stories of the past into the future
So that we will not forget,
And we will not stand by,
As more of God’s children are massacred.

We pray for the survivors of all genocides that burned our earth
And stole our siblings-
Armenia, the Holocaust, Rwanda, Cambodia, Bosnia, Darfur, and then some…
And then some more…
Knowing that God will give them resurrection from the ashes of the yesterday,
rising into the winds of tomorrow.

 


Armenian Genocide Centennial Forget-Me-Not
http://armeniangenocide100.org/

 

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