Tag Archives: Love Yourself

The Grace Project

22 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by in Life, Music, Pop, Pop Culture, Single in the Sanctuary

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image.jpgI give no grace to myself.

There.  I said it.  It’s been my reality for the 43 years I’ve been alive.  I’ve apologized millions of times for my existence.  My competitive nature does not play well with my graceless attitude because I compare myself with others and then give myself a tough time when I haven’t achieved the same.  I blame myself for not marrying in my twenties or thirties.  I blame myself for not having children or being at the top of my career.  I blame myself for my weight and all of my health issues (most of which I can not control).  I blame myself for the times when I fell short of my goals and dreams.

I blame myself when I forget something relatively small because I forget that I am human.

Because I am so hard on myself, I tend to really rob myself of grace when others give me a tough time about mistakes.  For some reason, ever since I was young, I believed that I needed to be my own worse critic, so when someone else is tougher on me than I am on myself, I raise my level of self-criticism.

I forget that my faith is one that is all about grace.  I neglect to acknowledge that God is pouring copious amounts of grace upon me even as I rob myself of the same. While I am generous in grace with others – mostly because that is the way I would want to be treated – I can not gift the same to myself.

Technically, living in my own critical, graceless head is hell because there is a wall between me and God’s mercy. If hell exists, it can’t be any worse than this, I now think to myself.

There have been times in my past when I’ve noticed that my soul is either filled with rage against me or completely empty.  My soul has lacked love from me, and now is the time to work on filling up that tank with something positive, not the negative it has become accustomed to.

So today I open myself up to the world of my greatest shortcoming: lacking self-grace.  Today, I move towards loving myself, knowing that I will continue to be human and continue to make mistakes.  And sometimes, what I will do will hurt someone else – not because I want it to, but because we all overlook others.  But now when I make those errors, it’s my call to begin the process of forgiveness, to extend reconciliation not only to neighbor but to self.

This new project of mine can be best summed up in the words of Florence + The Machine’s song “Shake It Out”:

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

Dear graceless heart, it’s time for you to go.  It’s time to heal from your scars.  It’s time to embrace grace as a way of living.

Single in the Sanctuary – The “Love Yourself” Photo Challenge

21 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in Life, Pop, Single in the Sanctuary, Social Media

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A number of my friends are participating in a “Love Your Spouse” photo challenge.  What this entails is that each day for a week, the individual will post a photo of them and their spouse.  It’s a cute activity in which many friends enjoy participating.

For many of us, we can’t participate in this activity.  Some of us have never been married.  Other have gotten divorced.  The photos aren’t available from people like me.

So, in order to begin a new tradition, I am starting a “Love Yourself” photo challenge.  This challenge is one that embraces the mandate in the greatest commandment “love your neighbor as yourself.”  It forces each of us to recognize the Divine image within ourselves – no matter who we are related or attached to.

And it is inclusive of all people – no matter their marital statuses.

I bring you my seven “love myself” photos below.

Fontbonne University Homecoming Dance – Fall 1992

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Many of my interesting stories begin with “when I was 19.”  In the fall of 1992, I was 19 years old, very single and very much enjoying life.  I believe this was the only time in high school or college in which I attended a formal dance on my own.  And I still had a blast.

Philadelphia – Summer 1999

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In this twentieth century selfie, I joyfully mark a trip in which I navigated around a city on my own.  Before GPS on cell phones were a thing, I utilized a paper map to find various landmarks around Philadelphia.  Through this experience, I gained a sense of freedom and confidence and have continued to traipse around big cities on my own.

My Sister’s Wedding – Fall 1999

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There is nothing easy about going to your little sister’s wedding when (1) you are not married and (2) don’t have a date to the wedding.  But I went.  I stood next to her as maid of honor, gave a toast and still walked away with my dignity.

Washington D.C. – Spring 2008

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Here I am at Ecumenical Advocacy Days, a progressive-Christian annual event to discuss justice issues.  On the last day of the event, I met with representatives of my congressional leader and senator.  In those moments, I advocated for various justice issues – specifically women and intimate partner violence.  Advocacy work energizes me as I believe it can make a difference.

Eden Theological Seminary Graduation – Spring 2010

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After years of hoping and dreaming of completing my Master of Divinity degree, I reach my successful end point on May 14, 2010.

Ordination to Ministry in Dunedin, Florida – March 6, 2011

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One of the biggest days of my life is represented in this photo.  Not only am I being ordained, I am celebrating the sacrament of communion at the table for the first time.

UCC General Synod 30 – June 2015

imageAfter writing a chapter in the book There’s a Woman in the Pulpit, I was a part of my first group book signing at the UCC General Synod in Cleveland.  Being a writer and becoming published is another lifelong dream and call which is represented here.  Thank you to Eden Theological Seminary for this photograph.

So single, married, divorced, widowed, separated and cohabitating friends – I challenge you to post your seven photos that represent your greatest self.  In doing so, remember that you are made in the image of God no matter who you are related to or what you still dream of achieving in your life.