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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: clinical pastoral education

Is Any Prayer Stupid?

15 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Social Media

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

clinical pastoral education, CPE, God, Michelle Torigian, Prayer, progressive Christianity

Five years ago, during my time in Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) as a chaplain, I made it one of my goals to become better at praying out loud. Now, until that point, I never felt confident in my public, impromptu/extemporaneous praying. My prayers never felt strong or fancy enough for others to hear.

During my CPE summer, I had many opportunities to pray aloud with the nursing home residents and their families. By the time the summer had concluded, I felt much better in my public prayers.

That doesn’t mean I still don’t get nervous praying out loud…

Recently, I wrote a prayer for online publication. One individual decided to call the prayer “goofy” in the comment section. They also said that the prayer “seems like a Facebook status with the word ‘God’ placed in front of it.”

People are allowed to think what they wish about my writing. However, if I am speaking from a genuine place of concern, is it “goofy?” And are many of our status updates just words of concern from our hearts? Don’t we want God to hear our status updates?

While it may seem there are goofy prayers being said or written, any time people try to connect to God through words (spoken or written), it’s a prayer. Any time we hold the ones we love, fear, dislike and don’t know in our hearts, it’s prayer. When we connect with the Divine in an effort to strengthen our ties to God, our neighbor and ourselves, it’s prayer. So what words work? And what words fall short?

I don’t believe God cares what words we use when we pray. I think God’s concern is that we take moments to reach out – sending love and healing into the universe.

So say what you want to say to God. God wants to hear it in any form. You can sing it, sign it or dance the prayer. Fluffy language will not make the prayer come true any faster. God accepts both frills and simplicity in prayers. If others think your prayer is stupid, God doesn’t. Keep praying – just as you are. God is bigger than any combination of words.

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Healing Pain

19 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

clinical pastoral education, CPE, Endometriosis, Grey's Anatomy, Healing, hurt, laparoscopy, pain, Surgery, wound

I’m sore.

This past Tuesday, I had my second laparoscopy for Endometriosis.  Because it had been nine years since my last laparoscopy, I don’t remember all of my post-operative pains that resulted from the first procedure.  Yet, I knew I was going to experience some soreness.

As much discomfort as I have experienced in the past few days, I must admit that I have had pain much, much worse.  In the past six months, my pain level has reached a ten.  The discomfort I’ve experienced in the past few days since my surgery does not compare to the days and nights of debilitating cramps.

Yet there is still pain, and my body is still healing.

But I can no longer classify my aches as a destructive pain.  Since this surgery, the discomfort I’m experiencing is a healing pain.

My post-operative pains remind me of this scene from Grey’s Anatomy.  When we surface from a surgical procedure that saves our life or our quality of life, we are no longer (or less) captive to the agony that tore our lives apart.  We have been released from the bondage of misery and are now crossing the threshold to a new phase of living.

Healing pains apply to emotional and spiritual injuries as well.  When I was in Clinical Pastoral Education in 2008, we were given the illustration that spiritual/emotional healing is like a wound healing on our body.  Injuries can heal incorrectly.  But if we want to truly heal the wound, we must clean out the sore.  If a bone is healing incorrectly, the bone must be broken once again and then reset.  How much pain does that cause?  How do we try to avoid that extra pain when we are in the healing process?

Healing means we must face pain directly.  It’s pouring alcohol in an open wound.  It’s having surgery to avoid destructive pain.  It’s going to therapy and talking through our issues.

And it’s knowing that God is in the wound with us – – whether we are healing or the sore is new.

I do hurt, but I won’t suffer forever.  I know my current pain is part of the journey to healing and wholeness.

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