Category Archives: Pop

God doesn’t pick sides

04 Monday Feb 2013

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It’s interesting that Romans 8:31 is trending on Twitter.  Apparently, Ray Lewis of the Ravens quotes this text:

If God is for us, who is against us?

When this trends on Superbowl Sunday, then people are seeing a very specific theological viewpoint.  Quoting this text today would lead people to believe that God picks sides.  Which would make me wonder if the Ravens had more points with God over the past season.  Or maybe the 49ers had created more trouble in God’s eyes.

Both teams had their issues.  Chris Culliver of the 49ers made homophobic comments.  The Ravens’ barred this cheerleader from cheering at the Superbowl because she was “too fat.”  Both teams haven’t had their finest moments with these comments in the recent past.

But God wasn’t rewarding them or punishing them for their comments or actions outside of the field.  I don’t believe that’s the way it works.

I believe that God is like Jack and Jackie Harbaugh.  They want both of their sons to succeed.  They know that one of their sons will walk away the coach of the winning team.  The other will go home disappointed.  And the Harbaugh parents are planning on spending their time first with the son who loses.  Couldn’t that be like God – – a parent who comforts the one who loses before congratulating the one who wins?

God is the parent that wants all of us to win.  So God doesn’t take sides but is the mom or dad who cheers for us all.

Jesus, the Heretic?

03 Sunday Feb 2013

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This post is based on my sermon from February 3, 2013 delivered at St. Paul United Church of Christ, Old Blue Rock Rd, Cincinnati, OH.

A few years ago, I saw a very thought provoking T-shirt.  It said “Heretic in good company.”  Underneath the title was a list of names, including St. Joan of Arc, Galileo and Martin Luther.  In the midst of the names was one name that stood out: Jesus of Nazareth.  Yes, that Jesus.

Woah, Michelle, did you just refer to Jesus a heretic?

Before I continue to further get myself into trouble by referring to Jesus as a heretic, let’s consider what heretic means.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines heretic as “1. A dissenter from established religious dogma and 2. One who dissents from an accepted belief or doctrine.”

In his book Tribes, Seth Godin defines heretic as “ones who challenge the status quo, who get out of their tribes, who create movement.”  He continues that a heretic can mean “a person who holds unorthodox opinions in any field (not merely religion).”

So, was Jesus a heretic?

When we look at the text today, we see Jesus challenging those in his hometown.  Verse 14 says that he was filled with the spirit when he entered the synagogues.  Once he starts referring to those in the margins positively – the widow and the leper, they started turning against Jesus.

This was just the beginning.  In chapters four through six alone, Jesus heals Simon’s mother on the Sabbath, he touched a man with leprosy which made Jesus unclean as well, he ate and drank with the people on the margins, and he healed in a synagogue on the Sabbath.

That’s just who Jesus was.

Jesus reframed rules for something greater.  He broke the rules so that he could be more inclusive to the Gentile, the widow and the leper.  He broke the rules so that people could feel loved.  He broke the rules so people could live a normal life, be accepted by their community, take care of themselves and family.

This is the Jesus I try to model my life after.

I’ve been told that our job is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.  And sometimes that means saying something in a very different and edgy sort of way.

This could mean that I support people who don’t fit an “traditional” love or life.  This means advocating for the poor, the widow, women, children – – even when people won’t agree with me.  This means volunteering to help those who are hungry, and yes, even call my representatives to be a voice to those who have no voice.  It’s doing justice and loving kindness as I walk humbly with my God.

So is being a heretic a bad thing?  Being a heretic is nothing new.  There have been heretics throughout the centuries.  Because the person with stated orthodox theology was more popular or powerful or had better connections, the less popular theologian was deemed a heretic and banished.  Sometimes, it was over little differences or larger differences –  like not believing in original sin or not believing that God and Christ were of the same essence.

Was Jesus a heretic?  Let’s look at the various definitions:

Was Jesus a dissenter from established religious dogma?  Was he One who dissents from an accepted belief or doctrine?  If he healed on the Sabbath, then he dissented from established dogma and accepted beliefs.

Was Jesus one who challenged the status quo?  By advocating for the Gentile, he was.

Did Jesus hold unorthodox opinions?  If he was willing to pick food on the Sabbath, then yes.

Jesus hung out with women, ate with all sorts of people and challenged those in authority.  Jesus started movement.  Just like Martin Luther, a significant heretic who lit the fire of our type of Protestantism, Jesus was the one who sparked the flame that started the Jesus movement, or, as many of us know it, the early Christian church.

I celebrate Jesus as a heretic because being a heretic means a person is willing to listen for the voice of the still-speaking God.  Sometimes, it’s going beyond preconceived beliefs of the church or Scripture to embrace the greatest thing Jesus embraced: love.  It’s putting love and faith above legalism and rules.

Sometimes, we’ll hear that voice of God ourselves.  And we’ll follow that voice even though it’s unorthodox or means that we have to change the way we have always done it.

It also means that we have to be willing to get thrown of the cliff, like Jesus almost was in today’s reading.  Or even crucified as we see later in Luke’s gospel.

It’s not easy standing up for what you believe.  I can’t even imagine it was easy for Jesus – being disliked by so many people for saying what you believe.

It’s not easy for any of us to feel the dislike for our beliefs.  Whether it’s from our best friend or stranger, we hate being called a heretic or false prophet as we try to follow the God that’s speaking to our hearts.

Unfortunately, when people are challenged in their faith, they aren’t willing to take the time for conversations, to say politely how much they disagree with you.  They are just willing to call names and close relationships.

We need to have a very thick skin to follow Jesus.  Because we are willing to fully open ourselves up to the divine – we also have to be open to all of the good and bad that can come from following the faith of Jesus.

As we follow Jesus, learn more about faith and connecting to God, we will see elements of our faith in new and unorthodox ways.  Eventually, someone will make a comment about faith or religion that’s tough to hear.   Or someone will associate their faith with politics in a way that you haven’t heard before.  And it may be uncomfortable and against what you believe.

How can we make that uncomfortable feeling go away?  There is no easy way, but one effective way is through dialogue.  We need to say the edgy things that we believe to start conversations that need to begin.  We need to find out why someone believes what they believe instead of calling them names and closing our ears to them.

Maybe they are saying something I need to hear.  Maybe there’s something they need to hear from me.  And sometimes, I will say something here that you may not agree with.  I always invite you to have a conversation with me after a sermon.  I can’t expect you to agree with me 100% of the time, and conversations will create an atmosphere of dialogue and love even when we think very differently.

So, was Jesus a heretic?  Whether we believe that he was or just a guy who spoke in edgy ways, he made people think and got people moving.  Are we heretics?  As we continue to hear the still-speaking God as Jesus embraced and Joan of Arc, Galileo and Martin Luther followed, we may be deemed a heretic.  But we are in good company as the God of justice, the Christ of mercy and the spirit of passion walk along side of us, calling us to serve a hurting world in their name.

A New Valentine’s Day

29 Tuesday Jan 2013

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I do not like Valentine’s Day.  It’s yet another painful reminder of how my life has not followed a certain flow.

Yet I don’t want to remain stuck in the sticky web of melancholy on another holiday.  When I reframed New Year’s Eve this year, it was probably one of the best NYE’s in recent past.

Now I want to reframe Valentine’s Day.

There has to be more than the absence of cards and flowers.  There has to be a wide spectrum of joy on a day absent of romance.

So I need some ideas on how I can make my and others’ Valentine’s Day spectacular.  One plan is visiting some of our congregants in nursing homes.  How else can I bring joy and love to our world on a day that can be very discouraging for people?

Let’s come up with some ideas!

Sermon on the Side: Knowing Only in Part

25 Friday Jan 2013

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When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:11-12

When I was a child, or rather a young adult, I thought I knew everything there was about love.  I thought I knew everything there was to the person I loved.

Now I reason so much differently.

Nightswimming by REM represents the shift in understanding of what love truly means.  While the song was more popular and a significant memory in my early adult years, I’ve attained a deeper understanding of what the song means now that I’m twenty years older.

In fact, the song means so much more to me now than ever.  The version posted above is one performed by Michael Stipe years after the initial recording.  A sense of maturity and understanding echoes in his voice.  It is a maturity with which I identify as I reflect back on my younger years.

I thought I knew the one I loved.  But can we ever know the person with whom we fall in love?  Can we ever truly know our family members and our friends.

And so this line in Nightswimming says it all:

You I thought I knew you.  You I can not judge.  You I thought you knew me.

We truly think the people who love us know us.  We hold this misconception that we fully know the ones we love and interact with on a daily basis.

Each relationship that fails is based on two people thinking they know all there is to know about each other.  There’s sadness when relationships fail.

But what we forget is that we only see in a mirror.  We make judgments on unclear reflections.  Only God sees us for who we are.  If we could see the people we love with God’s eyes, our interactions would be so very different.

I believe there’s grace in knowing that everyone fails at understanding each other.  Everyone fails at knowing their deepest selves – – even with years of therapy and reflection.  All we can do in our lives is try our best to know one another and grasp the notion that we will never know everything about the people we love.

I thought I knew you.  But I see you in a dimly lit mirror.  I don’t know really know who you are.  I can not judge you.  Please do not judge me because you can only see parts of who I am.  Someday, we will see each other fully as God fully knows each of us.  Until that time, may grace and forgiveness may be abundant in our lives.

Have Facebook Envy?

24 Thursday Jan 2013

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How familiar I was with this video from  Brian Williams on tonight’s NBC News:

Facebook Envy – NBC Nightly News

As Williams says “…Facebook can full-on bum you out.”  While these world are not the typical words expected from a journalist, the sentiment could not be more true.

How many of you have Facebook Envy?

I have it all of the time.

I see my friends and old boyfriends married with children.  I see fabulous vacations all over the world, and new babies coming into the world.  I see major physical transformations, phenomenal jobs, great health.

My life seems so sub-par compared to all of your fantastic, perfect, well-orchestrated lives.

Granted, I think my life is pretty great.  Sure, I’ve dealt with car accidents, surgery and a disappointing love life.  But I love my job.  I love to write and have been able to write more in the past year.  I find myself on many mini life adventures, and I see God in random, odd and beautiful places.  I have so many people in my life who I truly love and feel their love in return.

And I go on Facebook because my friends truly are my community.

We pray together when times get rough.  We cheer for each other when something works out.  We repost each other’s writings.  We are family.  For better or worse, I am deeply connected to those who I primarily see on Facebook.

Yes, I will continue to feel bad about my non-existent plans on Valentine’s Day while seeing pictures of all of your gifts.  My heart will hurt a bit each time another friend gets engaged.  My womb will ache because I haven’t had children.  And I will continue to criticize myself when I see how easy it was for friends to lose weight.

I am human, after all.

As you read this, you may think to yourselves how your life is a lot less perfect than your Facebook profile.  Each of our lives have challenges, but our Facebook is typically our very best selves.  Facebook can be our best tool in connecting us with those we love or can be a source of repeated heartache.  How we frame our time on Facebook can be the difference between pain or joy.  What would it mean for us to remember each time we log on that Facebook is everyone’s brag book and everyone is still carrying a heavy load?

I wonder how would Jesus’ Facebook experience look like?  Here’s a guy who probably wasn’t married or had kids.  He wasn’t rich, and many people were saying some crazy things about him.

…As if Jesus would care.

In my belief, Jesus wouldn’t experience the same envy that some of us experience.  He’d just be happy having a relationship with each of his Facebook friends.  He would be praying with those who hurt and cheering with those who celebrate.

Yeah… I still have a ways to go to be like Jesus.

But I’m glad to see him all the time when I’m on Facebook…

The Inauguration of the First Lady’s Bangs

21 Monday Jan 2013

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What an amazing day for our country!  Anytime we have a president sworn into office, whether we agree with their politics or not, is a brilliant moment for our government.  We have achieved a peaceful transfer of power even when we don’t agree with the outcome.  Some people reading this article will be ecstatic that President Barack Obama has been sworn in for a second term, and others will be frustrated with his re-election.

That will not be the point of this post.

In talking about the first lady, very little is said about her.  Most of the mentions of the first lady today refer to her outfit and hairstyle, namely her new bangs.

Granted, Michelle Obama looks fabulous in her new bangs and fashionable wardrobe.  Yet Michelle Obama is an accomplished women on her own.  For her undergraduate, she attended Princeton University.  She received her law degree from Harvard Law School and even mentored the president before their marriage.  Michelle Obama champions issues regarding service members and their families and childhood obesity.

She’s not the only first lady whose accomplishments were shadowed by her appearance.

In 2010, Secretary of State/former Senator/former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was asked what designer she was wearing.  This question was thrown at her: “Which designer do you prefer?”  The Secretary of State was on official business in Kyrgyzstan.  Her reply was “Would you ever ask a man that question?”  Additionally, Secretary Clinton’s pantsuits were often the subject of commentaries.

Our most recent three first ladies all have attained postgraduate degrees.  Laura Bush’s accomplishments of a Master’s in Library Science and work on women’s health and literacy were shadowed by her style throughout her husband’s presidency.

Last week, I watched the new show 1600 Penn.  During the episode, the president’s wife continues to receive questions about her wardrobes and fit upper arms as she tries to discuss policy issues.

Some things never change.

No matter the accomplishments of our first ladies, their appearance takes precedence over any other part of their personality or accomplishments.

Many like to refer to 1 Timothy 2 when it comes to women preaching in the churches.  However, few talk about verses 9-10: “also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God.”

I’m not saying they shouldn’t dress fashionable from time to time.  Every woman should feel good in what they wear.  However, there’s more to each of these women than their style.  May these women experience beauty in their wardrobe but let us hear more of their accomplishments than their style selections.  If we can figure out how to celebrate these women for their acts rather than their wardrobe, our daughters, granddaughters and nieces will be stronger for it.

Healing Pain

19 Saturday Jan 2013

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I’m sore.

This past Tuesday, I had my second laparoscopy for Endometriosis.  Because it had been nine years since my last laparoscopy, I don’t remember all of my post-operative pains that resulted from the first procedure.  Yet, I knew I was going to experience some soreness.

As much discomfort as I have experienced in the past few days, I must admit that I have had pain much, much worse.  In the past six months, my pain level has reached a ten.  The discomfort I’ve experienced in the past few days since my surgery does not compare to the days and nights of debilitating cramps.

Yet there is still pain, and my body is still healing.

But I can no longer classify my aches as a destructive pain.  Since this surgery, the discomfort I’m experiencing is a healing pain.

My post-operative pains remind me of this scene from Grey’s Anatomy.  When we surface from a surgical procedure that saves our life or our quality of life, we are no longer (or less) captive to the agony that tore our lives apart.  We have been released from the bondage of misery and are now crossing the threshold to a new phase of living.

Healing pains apply to emotional and spiritual injuries as well.  When I was in Clinical Pastoral Education in 2008, we were given the illustration that spiritual/emotional healing is like a wound healing on our body.  Injuries can heal incorrectly.  But if we want to truly heal the wound, we must clean out the sore.  If a bone is healing incorrectly, the bone must be broken once again and then reset.  How much pain does that cause?  How do we try to avoid that extra pain when we are in the healing process?

Healing means we must face pain directly.  It’s pouring alcohol in an open wound.  It’s having surgery to avoid destructive pain.  It’s going to therapy and talking through our issues.

And it’s knowing that God is in the wound with us – – whether we are healing or the sore is new.

I do hurt, but I won’t suffer forever.  I know my current pain is part of the journey to healing and wholeness.

Not a “Leftover Woman”

18 Friday Jan 2013

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It’s tough to hear that women of a certain age are considered “leftovers.”

In China, women who are not married by 30 are “leftover women.”  Society believes that they are like “yellowed pearls”, that the older the pearls are the less valuable they are.

Is it much different in our society?  Sure, thirty doesn’t hold the same stigma as it used to here in the US.  But, in Western culture, are we looked down upon if we are over forty and still single?

I like to think of myself as a fine wine: the older I get, the more appealing I am.  Granted, in some ways I was more physically attractive in my twenties.  Yet now that I’m about to turn forty, I believe I know myself better.  In knowing myself, I tend to like myself more.  I believe that most of us, both men and women, are closer to their best selves as they approach middle age.

And I must admit that I am less fearful of being killed by a terrorist than I am scared of being stuck in an unhealthy marriage.

Even from Scripture, I don’t find a need to rush into marriage.  Song of Solomon 3:5 reminds us not to “love until it is ready.”  There is a time for love as Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us.  There is a ebb and flow to life, so why are we trying to force something that isn’t authentically present?

Women in the United States, China and every country in between: do not settle.  Do not give up all of your dreams but find someone who will seek your dreams with you.  If you are strong and happy as you are, you will  never be a “leftover woman” but a woman of courage and character.  There is someone who will love you just as you are.

The Great Cleanse

12 Saturday Jan 2013

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As some of you know, I’m having surgery this coming Tuesday.  And whenever I face surgery, I get a little (or very) introspective.

I think with the new year, cleaning out a great deal of my house, facing surgery and turning 40 this year, I’m looking at every part of my life in great detail.  So this may be my most personal blog post to-date.

And right now, I’m reflecting on why I’ve never found “the right man.”

Sure, there’s more than one right person for each of us.  And I’ve come close once or twice.  But I’ve been asking myself what has held me back all of these years?

First of all, I’ve often believed I was not “good enough”: not smart enough, definitely not pretty enough, too awkward.  From the time I was in middle school until now, I have rarely experienced feeling loved “just as I am.”

I’ve dated, crushed and had the prospect of dating a number of wonderful guys.  Sure, some are remembered more fondly than others.  But when it comes to dating, I always perceived that I was the one being overlooked (except for about 2 days in 1992).

Then, I was always the girl who dated the guy right before the guy found “the one.”  Seriously.  Almost always.  There’s something to be said about guys constantly finding the right one immediately after dating, contemplating a relationship, etc.  In fact, after a five year relationship, the guy got engaged to a girl eight months later.  The message of non-marriage material became cemented in my mind.

So for most of 25 years I’ve carried around this overbearing inferiority complex.  And it’s time for it to change…to leave my heart, mind and soul…

The second major reason I am single is that I’m scared of what it would mean for me to be in a relationship.  Whenever I’ve been in relationships, I find myself changing who I am.  I lose part of myself.  I have to move or give up plans for a guy.  I don’t like having to be the one who has to give up a career/change a name/lose friends/leave a town/give up dreams just to make a guy happy.  From most of my experience and most of the relationships I’ve seen, it’s always the woman giving up something for a man.  For me, I’ve learned to love being single rather than losing part of myself.  But then, in recent years, I’ve seen how friends find relationships where both of their dreams and identities are honored.  So relationships like this have to exists.

Now all of you know why I’m nearly 40 and single.

So as I’ve cleaned my house and having surgery to be “cleaned out” (so to speak), I’m cleaning out my heart as well.  I am no longer going to think that I am not “good enough.”  I’m at least average pretty.  I’m not “too fat.”  I’m fairly smart and have strong talents in certain areas.  While I’m not trying to air my dirty laundry for the world to see, I’m needing to be transparent with this, to be held accountable, to not to slide back and think I’m “less than.”

To repeat myself: the guys I’ve dated have been great guys.  I can no longer internalize why these things didn’t work.  Maybe it’s just that I wasn’t the right one for that particular guy – not that I wasn’t altogether pretty/smart.  Looking back, none of these guys were the right one for me either, but it doesn’t mean that they weren’t the right one for someone.  Likewise, I’m reframing the way I look at this: it’s not because I wasn’t pretty/talented/smart.  It was because either the two of us didn’t click at the level where two people should (who want to date/marry), or it was because God is calling us both in a different direction.

I am not a conventional woman.  Breaking the mold is who I am.  I’m quirky.  And I’m in a unique career: a female clergy. I’ve spent the past 25 years preparing myself for this call.  I’ve taken the past 25 years to get to know who I am.  For some people, dating and finding the right one is easy.  It’s not for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m broken beyond repair.  God is the God of second chances and grace.  So now is my time to grasp that grace and shine.  It’s time for me to know that I am no more or less flawed than anyone else.  It’s time for me to believe that I can find someone someday… I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and someone will cherish me as I will cherish him.

There is a season for everything… a time to keep and a time to throw away… Well, this is my time to throw away thoughts that have held me back…

And there is a time to love… and that will come soon…

Thanks for reading.  This was a deeply personal post.  I hope that someone reading this will see that all of us are made in God’s beautiful image and that each of us deserve love and second chances.

Sermon on the Side: Baptism According to Carrie Bradshaw

09 Wednesday Jan 2013

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As most of you probably know by now, I do not approach theology in the most conventional ways.  Some of you may be shocked to know that one of my favorite all time shows is Sex and the City.  While some readers may not agree with all of the content, the show has given me the chance to realize I’m not alone in my singlehood.

While I am delighted by each episode of the series, one of the most theologically thought-provoking episodes of the series was the season five episode “Unoriginal Sin.”

Miranda is having a tough time agreeing to have her son baptized.  Her son’s father, Steve, wants to have Baby Brady baptized for a few different reasons: so the baby doesn’t go to hell/limbo, so the baby has a party and to make his mom happy.  Most likely an agnostic, Miranda decides to go ahead with the baptism.

At the same time, Carrie is going through a faith and hope crisis of her own.  She begins to write her column with the following:

“That night, I started to think about belief. Maybe it’s not even advisable to be an optimist after the age of 30. Maybe pessimism is something we have to start applying daily… like moisturizer. Otherwise, how do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised, conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of, or is it keeping us alive? What’s the harm in believing?”

So there Carrie, holding the child at the baptismal font as Baby Brady’s godmother.  As the water drips from the baby’s head onto Carrie’s arm, she thinks to herself “I couldn’t help but hope the water would wash away some of my original cynicism.”  To Carrie, this sacrament might not have been explicitly about God or forgiveness, but it may have opened rebirth, grace and hope for her.  Maybe the water will renew her spirit and wash away the cynicism from her heart.

This episode has my eyes to see baptism beyond the normal outward sign of God’s grace.  Baptism has the potential to do the following:

  • Brings people together
  • Gives people comfort about the spiritual security of their loved one
  • Reminds people of rebirth, grace and hope
  • Allows us the opportunity to welcome another child of God into the Body of Christ
  • Keeps the doors open to the sacred side of tradition

I think there are many reasons people go through with baptism, and this episode reflects upon that.  But the beautiful thing is how baptism impacts the entire body of Christ, not just the baby (or adult being baptized).  Each person in attendance is affected by being in the presence of a baptism.

How are each of us changed when we see another person baptized?  What does baptism mean to you?