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It’s tough to hear that women of a certain age are considered “leftovers.”

In China, women who are not married by 30 are “leftover women.”  Society believes that they are like “yellowed pearls”, that the older the pearls are the less valuable they are.

Is it much different in our society?  Sure, thirty doesn’t hold the same stigma as it used to here in the US.  But, in Western culture, are we looked down upon if we are over forty and still single?

I like to think of myself as a fine wine: the older I get, the more appealing I am.  Granted, in some ways I was more physically attractive in my twenties.  Yet now that I’m about to turn forty, I believe I know myself better.  In knowing myself, I tend to like myself more.  I believe that most of us, both men and women, are closer to their best selves as they approach middle age.

And I must admit that I am less fearful of being killed by a terrorist than I am scared of being stuck in an unhealthy marriage.

Even from Scripture, I don’t find a need to rush into marriage.  Song of Solomon 3:5 reminds us not to “love until it is ready.”  There is a time for love as Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us.  There is a ebb and flow to life, so why are we trying to force something that isn’t authentically present?

Women in the United States, China and every country in between: do not settle.  Do not give up all of your dreams but find someone who will seek your dreams with you.  If you are strong and happy as you are, you will  never be a “leftover woman” but a woman of courage and character.  There is someone who will love you just as you are.