God, whose presence vibrates between my vocal chords,
Yesterday, I wanted to SCREAM.

I’m not exactly sure what possessed my soul to enter the shadows-
I was standing in the glue aisle at the craft store-
But in that moment of retail therapy
All I wanted to do was scream!
And cry!
And stomp my feet!
And jump up and down!

Glue-shopping usually doesn’t do this to people – nor to me.
But my inner two year old was wrestling with the things I can no longer have.

It wasn’t the first time I was in a craft store after Dad had passed.
Nor was it the first time I was buying adhesives.
But as evening was swallowing the day
Grief swallowed my emotional boundaries.

God, may my screams be internal.
May they not be eternal.
May my desire for screams melt into tears.

And if I need to scream-
Help me to find a serene open space that will welcome my vocal punches.

Amen.

*****

My father passed away on September 18, 2017 after a sudden illness. In the coming days, more prayers and posts which I’ve written recently or that I will be writing will be included on this blog.