Impromptu God who goes with our flow- it’s time to figure out life beyond the state of shock.

Dad’s not here right now. Or for the rest of my life. Honestly, that is a long time to live with this hole.

He will be missing every boring detail and peaks of joys that I experience.

But here I am with the sheet of shock that surrounds me melting. And as the fading layer grows thinner and thinner, my reality grows clearer.

God, may these flashes of reality and shots of grief be manageable. May I take 15 minutes at a time without him instead of looking at the next ten or twenty or thirty or forty years.

And thank you for the 44 years I had with him.

Amen.