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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: #blacklivesmatter

I Don’t Know What to Do with This Day

18 Monday Jan 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Holidays, Pop

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#blacklivesmatter, Martin Luther King Jr., Martin Luther King Jr. Day, MLK, progressive Christianity, racism, white privilege

imageHonestly, I don’t know what to do with Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  It’s not my day to claim.

The struggle of my black sisters and brothers is not mine and yet, I am connected to it.  My skin is white.  My benefits are great.  And even though the privilege of a white woman isn’t perfect, it’s still pretty darn good.

I can drive in rich neighborhoods without worrying who will pull me over if I’m driving four miles over the speed limit, walk in department stores without much thought to who is watching me and apply to jobs knowing that my resume will at least get a glace.  So the struggles that King mentioned aren’t about me or people who look like me.

So, what is this day about?

Right now to me this is the day I step aside to learn and to listen.  It’s the day when I listen deeply to the deep pain of my friends.  It’s the day when I examine my times of “whitesplaining,” of the times I didn’t speak up and the times I worried more about what others thought of me instead of the hard journey of those who continue to struggle. And then I offer a prayer of reconciliation to God my parent and my sisters and brothers of color.

This is the day I examine how I can become a better leader, how I can learn from the example of Dr. King the Prophet and live boldly as I continue to carry the light of Christ into the world.

This is the day I think about the ways I can push the shadows in the world aside and shine more light.  This is the day when I reflect on how to love more and use that love to erase the growing hate in our communities.

This is the day when I speak to and with those who are privileged as we share ways for us to be better allies.  This is the day when I recommit to the covenant of the complete body of Christ knowing that a good portion of the body is disregarded by other parts.  And this is the day when I send light and love to my sisters and brothers of color as they continue their march to true equality.

I still don’t fully know what to do with this day.  All I can do is walk humbly with my God and my neighbors and hope I can do better this coming year.

*****

One year from now I will probably be reading this and think that I had so much more to learn.   This is a work in progress and I’m open to your thoughts.

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Ministry is Not Safe

06 Monday Jul 2015

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop, Religion

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#blacklivesmatter, AME, Black Lives Matter, Charleston, progressive Christianity, RevGalBlogPals, Women's Lives Matter

This is a post I originally wrote for the RevGalBlogPals blog feature “The Pastoral is Political”.

Ministry often seems like a very placid vocation.  We engage with congregants as they heal from their surgeries.  We attend birthday parties and anniversary celebrations, officiate weddings, and baptize babies and adults.   Even the tedious paperwork, the sermon preparation, and the thousand hours of meetings are calm ways for us to serve God and neighbor.

Occasionally, we will stumble upon experiences which are more sinister and threatening: the times our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves feel like they are in danger.  These are moments when we feel our most vulnerable and questioning the calls we have accepted.

Recently, we’ve seen how fellow clergy in Charleston, South Carolina have been gunned down within their sanctuary during a standard Bible study.  Only days after this horrendous crime, news stories report black churches being torched and 20 women clergy in the African Methodist Episcopal congregations receiving letters threatening their lives and the well-being of their families.

I’ll be honest – if I was them, I’d be running far away from my church, changing my name, and hiding under my bed.   I suppose I’m much like Peter on the day of the crucifixion – ready to cling on to the known of this life rather than stand in the openness of peril that can come with being a pastor.

Through these recent accounts rooted in racism and sexism, we are reminded once again that ministry is not safe.

I don’t necessarily know how we forget this reality.  Jesus himself found that doing justice and showing kindness led him to capital punishment.  Most of his closest followers during the first century CE met the end of their life while practicing extravagant love and grace.

In the 1940’s, Dietrich Bonhoeffer stood against the powers of the Nazi regime.  Instead of staying in the safety of the United States, he returned to be in solidarity with those persecuted in Europe.  Due to the controversial nature of his messages, Bonhoeffer was imprisoned in 1943 and executed in 1945.

Threats against the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. were nothing new during his mid-twentieth century ministry.  Yet even in the face of danger, abiding in the shadow-filled valleys, sitting in jail cells, walking in marches, Dr. King never was intimidated to cease his work.  His life was cut short at the age of 39 by a sniper in Memphis.

As Jesus said in Matthew 10 “Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.”  I believe that those who place themselves, their reputations, and their well-beings at risk experience the presence of God in deeper ways than most of us ever will.

If we keep ourselves in the safest places in ministry and church life, we will never grow as clergy.  If we decide to preach on safe subjects week after week, never take part in rallies, or never speak in public or write opinions for newspaper columns, we will never understand the ministry of Christ.

At no point of our ministry are we completely free from hazards, even if we hide under beds, change our names, and move to other cities.  We can only stay safe for so long.  Not only is ministry unsafe physically, but our hearts and souls are in harm’s way as we place our most vulnerable selves on the line.  We love extravagantly, and when our parishioner walks away from the church, we blame ourselves.  When someone walks out of a sermon we’ve preached on a difficult subject, we question following the call of God.  We wonder what we could have done differently if a congregant commits suicide or a crime.  When we open our hearts fully to ministry, we will undoubtedly be hurt time and again when our loved congregants die and we no longer see their bright faces Sunday after Sunday.  We will lose a piece of our lives every time our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls are threatened, but then we will gain something greater in return.  Maybe we will see a glimpse of God’s presence as fear dissipates around us.

As Pastor Mary Rhodes, one of the women receiving a threatening letter said “Nothing is going to stop me from doing what God has called me to do.”  With faith and determination, these pastors continue in the valleys of the shadows of death knowing that God has prepared a table in the presence of their enemies.

Knowing that we can gain a new sense of Christ, ministry, and love, what could we do differently today to risk a part of ourselves for our ministry?  What can we do to stand firmly in faith even in the face of threats?  And in what ways can we support our siblings in ministry as they abide in the great shadows of threats?

For more information and to check out the fantastic writings of other clergy women writers, go to RevGalBlogPals.org.

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