God, you created the human mind
The magnificent world
Elements, minerals,
Space and time.
But I’m pretty sure you never intended us to keep crap.
I glance towards you God
To figure out what to do with the heaps of stuff:
Useless materials,
Empty bottles,
And the neverending paper piles.
The wasteland that is my spare bedroom
Filled with clothes three sizes too small.
My waist will never be that small again,
I cry to myself,
But I want to remember when it was.
The garage filled with extra books
And records from
Fifteen, sixteen… well… almost 20 years ago. Who needs computer books from 1996, anway?
Apparently, I do.
The desk filled with receipts and scraps of papers
With important number written down
Even though I have no idea whose numbers they are.
The basement filled with memories
The cherished items of loved ones
But in boxes, so I don’t enjoy them
My loved ones can’t enjoy them
And God, you can’t even enjoy them.
Half open bottles of conditioner and facial creams.
Ooops. I forgot I already had one
But I should keep them both. I’ll use them one day.
I’ll use them one day… I’ll use them one day…
The biggest lie I tell myself
The biggest lie I tell you, God.
My friends laugh,
My family jokes,
Strangers who enter my office or car or abode
Will tease
As if no one has any faults
Or kept something a little too long.
Like they laugh at those on Hoarders
As if it’s a fault and not a mental health issue.
As if no one has a limitation in their body
Or mind.
They can’t understand my brain.
I can’t understand my brain.
It’s all so overwhelming.
Nevertheless, help me shed the extra stuff in the shed,
And the closets,
And the cupboards
And the kitchen pantry
And the laundry room
And the garage
And the trunk of my car.
Most of all, God,
Give me the courage to dump the things I’ll think need someday
And trust you instead.
God of the rocky roads and rollercoasters,
Where is my ordinary?
When will I be back to normal
Or are these aches and dry eyes and needed naptimes
My new routine?
Boring. Boring is good.
I could go for boring.
But I don’t have a typical day anymore.
Each day brings it’s undeserved gift
Of… who knows.
When I open my eyes will I feel like I never received sleep?
When two o’clock rolls around
Will I need a nap?
Will my fingers swell
And my neck hurt
And my legs stiffen
And nose stuffy up?
OR will I have a “normal” day
A day that will make me feel 25 instead of 86 or 47 or 62.
Oh, please God. Give me a “normal” day.
Give me a day where I can go to the gym or stay awake all afternoon without a latte with extra espresso.
Allow my fingers to bend without the knife jab-like pains
And my feet move freely as I walk a mile or two.
Could my weight stay the same
Instead of increasingly bloated ankles.
Could you help me keep a routine
Instead of spending half the day dealing with an unruly tummy?
May I make the most of my “normal” days
Work hard. Play hard.
Love my friends and families and neighbors hard.
Make the world a stronger place,
Eat, drink and be merry, for the tomorrow I may need sleep.
And when the day comes,
The afternoon of drooping eyelids,
Of swollen glands
Of vertigo
And never-ending pains,
Allow my body to fall to sleep.
God of the shadows and grey-snow days,
Hear the echoes in our souls
And the empty rings in the hallow chambers of our hearts.
For those who have the Charlie Browniest lives
Who can’t find the happiness in holidays,
And open empty mailboxes each and every day.
“I know I should be happy but I’m not.”
We cry to you, God, when we don’t feel loved,
When we feel like failures,
When we are engulfed in fears,
And when we feel the world would be better without us.
It doesn’t matter if the if the doctor is in
Or the friend is in
Or if joy is in.
There is no joy.
Our tree is sparse just like our spirits.
May those who can’t shake their inner Charlie Brown-
Who can’t form a smile in their souls-
Find the purpose of their lives,
The splendor of the season
And the love of a friend.
For those of you looking to count calories during the upcoming holiday events at church, look no further than this blog post. Here we will let you know what you can expect calorically from your church dinners, desserts and other snacks.
***All church meals will be at 50 percent of the normal caloric and fat intake unless otherwise noted.***
If half of the food on your plate is a green vegetable, it will completely cancel out the calories and fat on the other side of your dish. For instance, if half of your plate consists of salad and broccoli and the other half of your plate contains turkey, dressing, mash potatoes and gravy, there will be no calories on your plate.
If you drink coffee with your meal, you will not take in any calories.
Any consumption of bread, fish, wine or grape juice is no calories since this reminds of us of meals with Jesus. If anyone catches a fish for a church dinner, the dinner will actually be negative calories.
Unfortunately, if you take home any leftovers from a potluck or any other church event, calories will be at their full amount. It is highly recommended for you to eat all you want within the church building and not take food home.
Food donated by a local eating establishment has no calories.
If you are clergy meeting with a congregant or a congregant meeting with your minister and/or others from your congregation regarding church business at a cafe, there are no calories for consuming a coffee or coffee-based drink. Food items are only 15 percent of the normal caloric intake.
Food that is being sold for a fundraiser has no calories and no fat since the money is going to a good cause. For instance, if you buy a cake, the entire cake is no calories, even if you take the food home. You might as well buy as many of these desserts as possible.
In fact, the more fundraiser food you eat throughout the year has the benefit of burning calories since your heart so full of love and energy that it’s working overtime.
If you are preparing food for a fundraiser and snack on this food, calories will be at 25 percent of their normal value. Only if you pay for the food will it be calorie-free.
All eating at congregation functions held off of the church property will only be 40 percent of the normal caloric intake.
If church members decide to go out for dinner after a church meeting, the food and drink will not only be 100 percent of their normal value, the diners must add on 25 extra percent of calories. This is NOT a church function, and nutritional values will not reflect it being one.
If the words “Christmas” and/or “Easter” are associated with any church events, the caloric and fat intake will be at 10 percent of the normal value since both celebrate Jesus, and when we think of Jesus, we think of eating together. In fact, any time we include the word Jesus with a meal name, the food will be calorie free. Unfortunately, that chapter and verse was left out of the New Testament canon. (Some say it was in the lost Gospel of Mary and Martha. They were concerned about dieting rules since they liked to frequently dine with Jesus. Actually, it was Martha’s suggestion to include this dieting rule. Mary didn’t allow those details to concern her.)
Special guidelines for clergy:
When clergy spend time eating and/or drinking with other clergy, no calories are ever consumed. The pure joy of spending time of colleagues will halt any weight gain from these social events.
Eating leftover communion bread is no calories.
Finally, if you’ve had a rough day and are clergy, you are allowed one piece of cake or one cupcake at no calories. Also, one glass of wine. And one donut.
God of beautifully broken bodies,
Of days of health
And nights of fevers,
We lament the loved ones lost
From complications to AIDS.
For those who watched friend after friend after friend die
In ’85 or ’87 or ’91.
For those wondering how they are still alive 30 years later.
Because of pills and procedures
Life doesn’t end with a diagnosis,
A gift of modern medicine.
For those who can’t afford medications,
Who must choose between food
And medical bills
And other bills
And pills.
For our sisters and brothers around the world,
Those who don’t have western privilege
And first world medicine
And for the orphans and widows of this disease.
For those today who must wait twenty minutes to see if they have HIV-
Those twenty… long… minutes… of waiting, and worrying.
For those who will be in shock when hearing the word POSITIVE,
Requiring follow up medical care,
And for their bodies trying to adapt to new medications.
For those whose results allow them to move forward like nothing happened,
And for those whose negative means living life as if they could not catch it.
For those who still work to keep the stigma alive-
Attribute the disease to certain behaviors,
And certain people,
Disregarding the thought that when one person in the Body of Christ has a disease
All have it.
Forgetting that those who are negative pose more of a health risk
As the healthy bear germs that could kill an immune-resistant love one.
May they see that all of us are made in God’s image.
May their hearts and mind turn around.
And may all of us know the abundance of God steadfast grace,
Transmitting that love to all we meet.
At noon, I entered a church around the corner that was about to be auctioned. The building was small – a sanctuary, bathrooms, a couple of closets, a small fellowship room, kitchenette and what could be used an office. According to websites, the starting bid was around $100,000.
As I looked around the building, I noticed hymnals still in the pews. A floral arrangement decorated the front of the church. Tracts expressing a theology that seemed foreign to me were stacked in a wall display. Fliers still hung on bulletin boards. It was a “ghost church” – a church that was once alive but now was a merely a shell which no longer held life and energy.
It was sad to enter this church and look around at the pulpit knowing a pastor had preached his last sermon there, people were baptized in their pool behind the pulpit and that dreams of a new ministry may have dwindled. But I didn’t know their stories. Besides seeing the church’s Facebook page which hadn’t been updated since January 29 of this year, little was available about the recent life of the church.
I overheard the realtor handling the auction saying that no other churches had come forward as interested in purchasing the building and property. So I asked him a little more about this. He said that for some churches who were growing, this was not an ideal space – too small. It sounded like churches were looking for spaces that tapped into their potential.
After my tour around the building, I left before the auction itself could take place. Because of my departure, I never heard what had happened during the auction, if anyone bid or who would be moving into the former church.
This is another piece of the larger picture of churches and buildings. What are some recent churches you know that have moved from their building as their membership drastically changed? How were their buildings no longer serving their mission, vision and purpose? How much did it take for the congregation to arrive at the decision that the building no longer fit their identity or who God was calling them to be? And how much grieving did each of these churches need to endure when leaving behind this concrete part of their past while moving into the future courageously and with the wisdom of God?
When families grow, they purchase a home that fits their growing family. When a couple are empty nesters, they will often sell their house to move to something smaller. When a person is no longer able to climb the stairs in their homes, they move into a home which accommodates their accessibility. When our finances change, we move to residences that we can afford. So why aren’t the reasons a congregation possesses or releases a church building similar to the reasons an individual or family buys and sells a house or condominium?
While we are attached to our homes, I believe we are more attached to our church buildings. These are the places where the highest and lowest moments of our lives occur: weddings, funerals, baptisms, confirmations, etc. The reason we keep a building is not often practical or even spiritual but emotional. How do we transform our way of thinking so that churches look at church buildings as a means of doing ministry rather than our greatest achievement and acquisition of ministry?
I’ve received multiple marketing pieces from a church expansion in my area. The church prides itself on welcoming people just as they are – no matter who they are. They want to get to know their visitors’ authentic selves.
Do they really?
So I went to their website and noticed quite a few things that communicates otherwise: sermons that consider being gay a sin… messages that state that living together is wrong… women prohibited from certain leadership roles.
To me, this doesn’t affirm everyone like it says in their marketing pieces.
This is no different than other large churches in our area. “Come as you are,” they tell us. But when it comes down to it, their theology is set in stone and not even God Herself could change it.
Listen, I think there’s a good chance that all churches stretch the truth to get people to visit. But when you tell people that they are welcome like they are and then send various messages that say otherwise, then that is false marketing. You are not welcome as you are… you are welcome as the person God will transform you to be.
I’m not saying that everyone in our churches will agree with us or like us. But we deserve to come to a church without feeling spiritual stones being thrown at us- especially when we think the stones won’t be thrown.
What if you could find a church that would welcome you no matter who you love or how you love? What if you could find a church that would welcome you no matter what your family may look like – even if it means two unmarried adults raising their beautiful children? What if you could find a church that would want you to be a leader even if you are female? What if you could find a church that affirms your doubts and allows you to struggle with your agnosticism or even atheism publicly? Isn’t that worth just as much as smoothies in the middle of worship or a band with hip music?
Wearing blue jeans or coming into church with uncombed hair doesn’t really affirm your disarray. Celebrating a God that loves your soul just as it is right now – in all its chaos – is worth everything.
In the meantime, I would ask the churches who want gay people to change their sexual orientation, or who shake a finger at couples who intentionally and thoughtfully live together before marriage, or who don’t allow half of the population to hold leadership roles to say so in their marketing. Stop lying. Stop bearing false witness to yourselves. Be real. Be authentic. Say it like it is.
I constantly read articles on the current status of the Church. Many believe that the Church (or at least Mainline Protestantism) is dying. Others are waiting for its resurrection or see it’s resuscitation happening in front of us. Everyone has an opinion on at what point of the life cycle Mainline Protestantism or all of Christianity exists.
I believe the church is entering its state of perimenopause.
Being a woman who is around middle age and experiencing the slow onset of symptoms, I’ll admit that I may be projecting some of my exciting life onto the current state of Christianity. But the more I read symptoms, the more I believe the Church is in perimenopause – the full-fledged middle-aged transitional period of ups and downs. And, yes, this means that if the Church is the Bride of Christ, then Christ’s bride is going through “the change.”
We’re hot and cold. Do you ever notice how some weeks church attendance is low and other Sundays attendance is up? How come some events are well attended and others are not? The hot flashes of Easter Sunday and Christmas Eve services give us hope and passion that maybe we will have connected with a larger audience, and then the following Sundays church attendance has cooled down to its normal state (or slightly lower). Nothing is truly consistent. Perimenopause is a time of riding the ebb and flow of hormonal waves. As leaders of churches, we ride the swings of highs and lows. Bring along a fan and a jacket because we won’t know what we’ll need that Sunday.
Fertility exists in a different state. We like to think of fertility being a numbers game – more children, more young families, bigger attendance, etc. But fertility isn’t what it was in our 20’s or 30’s, and fertility in churches isn’t what it was in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Fertility in the second-act church includes more quality time with our smaller congregations, heightened online presence and outside of the box thinking. As middle-aged women, we do not intend to stop creating even when physical birth is not an option. Likewise, the Church shouldn’t give up on its process of creation and birthing new programs.
Just like perimenopause, the life of the Church is not over. Instead, the Church has now reached middle age. The Church is not dying – – far from it. When those of us who are women realize that this change is upon us, we often think our lives are over, that we’re “dried up.” Nonsense! A reimagined act two is about to begin. What does that new stage of our life look like? How will we be vital with our physical bodies or our church body looking different? We are all still so full of life, and whether we read this as middle aged women, as church leaders or as congregations. Now is the time to find those new techniques in vitality which will remind us that we’re still very much alive and ready to listen for where God is calling us in this era of our lives.
Whether it’s the story of the resurrection, the fertility stories of Sarah or Elizabeth or our 45-year-old friend’s new hobbies or life activities, let’s remember that life isn’t over for us as middle-aged individuals or as churches finding our second wind.
This post is based on a sermon delivered at St. Paul United Church of Christ on July 27, 2014.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. ~~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
It was a cinematic grand romantic gesture that has been spoken about and referred to in pop culture throughout the past 25 years. In the movie Say Anything, Lloyd Dobler, played by John Cusack, stands outside of his ex-girlfriend’s window at dawn holding a boombox over his head, playing the song “In Your Eyes,” in the attempt to win her back.
The act has been imitated in pop culture again and again. It’s a very sweet deed. Maybe a teen or twentysomething would think that this is the greatest act of love, and as a young person, we would expect someone to hold up a boombox outside of our window to win us over. Maybe at 16, when this movie was released, I would have believed that this was the ultimate act and display of love.
But is this love? And why do we see this surface love in so many movies and pop culture references?
Let’s move from the grand gesture of standing outside of a window with a boombox overhead to the song that’s playing on that boombox. A few years before the movie came out, musician Peter Gabriel released the song “In Your Eyes” which was featured in that scene.
The lyrics of the song resound a love that goes deeper into the heart of God, a love that’s more than a grand romantic gesture:
“In your eyes
The light, the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway
To a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution
In your eyes
Of all the fruitless searches
Oh, I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes”
Both this song and today’s scripture are reminders of this complete self that exists in God’s eyes, and the hope to see each other through God’s grace-filled, unconditional loving lens.
Today’s text is one that is often read at weddings. It was probably read at many of your weddings and if not, you have undoubtedly heard it at a wedding. Unfortunately, the most important part, at least in my belief, is often left out. Some people stop reading the text at the point where it says “love never ends.” To me, the most sacred part follows this. The text reads: “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.” I believe this is an extremely important piece of scripture to be read at every wedding. It’s a great reminder to a couple that you won’t see each other as God sees you all of the time, and it’s something you’ll have to work at over and over again. In this lifetime, we see God, our neighbors and ourselves through that dimly lit mirror.
Granted, true unconditional love is patient and kind, not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. But there is something deeper about this love that we are called to have – not only with our significant other but with all people. It’s a love we can experience when we use God’s lens in seeing one another.
The second most important piece of this text, again in my belief, is the verse “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.” The love we experience and give will transform over time. Sure grand romantic gestures are a wonderful and refreshing surprise in a relationship – even in a marriage after 25 or 40 years. But our understanding of love continues to evolve as we grow and as we continue to set aside our childish ways. When we are a young person, we think love is the feeling we have when we fall in infatuation the first time. We want to hold boomboxes over our heads as we proclaim to the world how we feel about this person. But love is much much more than a feeling. Our view of love continues to transform from fireworks going off in our hearts to something deeper – a relationship which indicates that we are trying to see the other person from the lens of God’s unconditional love.
The third most significant piece of this text in my view is the verse “It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” The amount of hope that is in this verse can transform any type of relationship from one that could fall apart to one where possibilities can happen. Looking through the eyes of God to our loved one, our neighbor, a stranger and our enemy brings about possibilities that we may never thought were possible, including healing and peace.
In our marriages and all sorts of relationships, we’re going to mess up. We’re going to be our awkward, messy selves. The question is: will the people who matter see us as God sees us? Over time, we realize that in our health and in our illnesses, people show us love. In our deepest grief and in our greatest celebrations, people are around to love us. Love is greater than the chaos in our lives. The people who see us in just the slightest way God sees us will stick by us in almost any situation. They will see a more complete version of ourselves
The reaches of love as refer to by Paul extend to all sorts of relationships. From that of a married couple to the relationship between Christian brothers and sisters, this love is one that calls for us to look through the lens of God’s eyes, to continue to grow in the way we look at love and to hold on to hope even when relationships seem hurt or broken.
How have you looked at someone through the eyes of God recently? How did it change your view of them? How have you looked at your spouse or significant other lately? What about your children, other family members or friends? And how about the person you can not stand? If you were to close your eyes right now and put on your God-glasses, how could your relationships grow stronger?
Yes, God is the God of romantic gestures, of boomboxes overhead as music plays at dawn to woo a lost love. God is the God who would hold the boombox outside of our window to draw us to Her or Him. God is the God of weddings, of romantic moments that refresh us and first loves.
And God is the God of dimly lit times in marriages and shadow-filled friendships, of sickness and bad times, in poverty and loss. God is the creator of hope and endurance in our relationship journeys. God is the one who helps us see that we are complete in each others eyes.
May we embrace the romantic love of youth and the deep love that we find in the dimly lit spaces. And may you find the lens of God to see others as God sees all of us. Amen.
God, you created the human mind
rketing pieces from a church expansion in my area. The church prides itself on welcoming people just as they are – no matter who they are. They want to get to know their visitors’ authentic selves.
Michelle L. Torigian 