Category Archives: Life

Have Facebook Envy?

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Pop, Television

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How familiar I was with this video from  Brian Williams on tonight’s NBC News:

Facebook Envy – NBC Nightly News

As Williams says “…Facebook can full-on bum you out.”  While these world are not the typical words expected from a journalist, the sentiment could not be more true.

How many of you have Facebook Envy?

I have it all of the time.

I see my friends and old boyfriends married with children.  I see fabulous vacations all over the world, and new babies coming into the world.  I see major physical transformations, phenomenal jobs, great health.

My life seems so sub-par compared to all of your fantastic, perfect, well-orchestrated lives.

Granted, I think my life is pretty great.  Sure, I’ve dealt with car accidents, surgery and a disappointing love life.  But I love my job.  I love to write and have been able to write more in the past year.  I find myself on many mini life adventures, and I see God in random, odd and beautiful places.  I have so many people in my life who I truly love and feel their love in return.

And I go on Facebook because my friends truly are my community.

We pray together when times get rough.  We cheer for each other when something works out.  We repost each other’s writings.  We are family.  For better or worse, I am deeply connected to those who I primarily see on Facebook.

Yes, I will continue to feel bad about my non-existent plans on Valentine’s Day while seeing pictures of all of your gifts.  My heart will hurt a bit each time another friend gets engaged.  My womb will ache because I haven’t had children.  And I will continue to criticize myself when I see how easy it was for friends to lose weight.

I am human, after all.

As you read this, you may think to yourselves how your life is a lot less perfect than your Facebook profile.  Each of our lives have challenges, but our Facebook is typically our very best selves.  Facebook can be our best tool in connecting us with those we love or can be a source of repeated heartache.  How we frame our time on Facebook can be the difference between pain or joy.  What would it mean for us to remember each time we log on that Facebook is everyone’s brag book and everyone is still carrying a heavy load?

I wonder how would Jesus’ Facebook experience look like?  Here’s a guy who probably wasn’t married or had kids.  He wasn’t rich, and many people were saying some crazy things about him.

…As if Jesus would care.

In my belief, Jesus wouldn’t experience the same envy that some of us experience.  He’d just be happy having a relationship with each of his Facebook friends.  He would be praying with those who hurt and cheering with those who celebrate.

Yeah… I still have a ways to go to be like Jesus.

But I’m glad to see him all the time when I’m on Facebook…

Healing Pain

19 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by in Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

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I’m sore.

This past Tuesday, I had my second laparoscopy for Endometriosis.  Because it had been nine years since my last laparoscopy, I don’t remember all of my post-operative pains that resulted from the first procedure.  Yet, I knew I was going to experience some soreness.

As much discomfort as I have experienced in the past few days, I must admit that I have had pain much, much worse.  In the past six months, my pain level has reached a ten.  The discomfort I’ve experienced in the past few days since my surgery does not compare to the days and nights of debilitating cramps.

Yet there is still pain, and my body is still healing.

But I can no longer classify my aches as a destructive pain.  Since this surgery, the discomfort I’m experiencing is a healing pain.

My post-operative pains remind me of this scene from Grey’s Anatomy.  When we surface from a surgical procedure that saves our life or our quality of life, we are no longer (or less) captive to the agony that tore our lives apart.  We have been released from the bondage of misery and are now crossing the threshold to a new phase of living.

Healing pains apply to emotional and spiritual injuries as well.  When I was in Clinical Pastoral Education in 2008, we were given the illustration that spiritual/emotional healing is like a wound healing on our body.  Injuries can heal incorrectly.  But if we want to truly heal the wound, we must clean out the sore.  If a bone is healing incorrectly, the bone must be broken once again and then reset.  How much pain does that cause?  How do we try to avoid that extra pain when we are in the healing process?

Healing means we must face pain directly.  It’s pouring alcohol in an open wound.  It’s having surgery to avoid destructive pain.  It’s going to therapy and talking through our issues.

And it’s knowing that God is in the wound with us – – whether we are healing or the sore is new.

I do hurt, but I won’t suffer forever.  I know my current pain is part of the journey to healing and wholeness.

Not a “Leftover Woman”

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Current Events, Life, Pop

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It’s tough to hear that women of a certain age are considered “leftovers.”

In China, women who are not married by 30 are “leftover women.”  Society believes that they are like “yellowed pearls”, that the older the pearls are the less valuable they are.

Is it much different in our society?  Sure, thirty doesn’t hold the same stigma as it used to here in the US.  But, in Western culture, are we looked down upon if we are over forty and still single?

I like to think of myself as a fine wine: the older I get, the more appealing I am.  Granted, in some ways I was more physically attractive in my twenties.  Yet now that I’m about to turn forty, I believe I know myself better.  In knowing myself, I tend to like myself more.  I believe that most of us, both men and women, are closer to their best selves as they approach middle age.

And I must admit that I am less fearful of being killed by a terrorist than I am scared of being stuck in an unhealthy marriage.

Even from Scripture, I don’t find a need to rush into marriage.  Song of Solomon 3:5 reminds us not to “love until it is ready.”  There is a time for love as Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us.  There is a ebb and flow to life, so why are we trying to force something that isn’t authentically present?

Women in the United States, China and every country in between: do not settle.  Do not give up all of your dreams but find someone who will seek your dreams with you.  If you are strong and happy as you are, you will  never be a “leftover woman” but a woman of courage and character.  There is someone who will love you just as you are.

Surgery beyond television dramas

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by in Life, Television

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I’ve watched every episode of Grey’s Anatomy multiple times.  And many episodes of ER.  And a few episodes of St. Elsewhere.  I love medicine, and visiting hospitals absolutely does not gross me out.

That being said, facing surgery tomorrow is freaking me out.

I have endometriosis, a condition of migrating tissue.  Through laparoscopic surgery, I am able to get some relief from the pain and discomforts of my condition.

I had this surgery in December 2003.  With the exception of a little reaction to the anesthesia, I recovered fairly well and the results of the surgery delayed further growth.  I am fortunate that I’ve gone nine years without another surgery.

However, during the past six months, I’ve experienced horrific pain and other abdominal health issues.  My fatigue has been worse.  My life has been limited by my condition, and I want to live fully again.

So often, I visit people in hospitals immediately before their surgeries and in the days following.  As I’ve had to go under the knife, I remember the fear that people face when they, too, must have surgery.

Now it’ s my turn.

I don’t believe God is making me endure this surgery – – either because I’ve done something bad or because I need to learn a lesson somehow.  Instead, God goes with me into the surgery.  God sits with me as I freak out on my couch tonight.  God stands next to the operating table, stands with the doctors and nurses, gives wisdom to the anesthesiologist and gives peace to my parents in the waiting room.  God is in all of these places bringing strength and peace.

So I value your prayers, my friends.  If you are not a praying person, I value any thoughts, energy and love you send my way.  To me, all of these things sends a peaceful and healing energy into my life.  I am blessed to know that the people in my church, my clergy friends from around the country and my endosisters (women with endometriosis) all over the world are thinking about me.  Because of this energy and God’s constant presence, I know that I’m not alone.

Loving God,
Thank you for your gift of medicine,
Your doctors and nurses,
For family and friends who care.
Guide the hands of medical professionals,
Bring wisdom to their minds.

I pray for all others having surgery tomorrow and this month.
I pray for all caregivers,
And I pray for those who struggle with the same medical condition I have.
In the healing name of Jesus the Christ I pray, Amen.