Tag Archives: woman with hemorrhage

Today, I Persisted

08 Wednesday Mar 2017

Posted by in Current Events, Health, Pop, Religion, Social Justice

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img_7961About a month ago, in the midst of my horrific pain, I wrote most of this blog post.

Today, bits of the pain still linger, but I feel much better already. Yet reading this which I wrote when I felt so much less hopeless makes me realize how far I’ve come and reminds me of my persistence and resilience.

And so, on this International Women’s Day, I share with you.

At this point of my life, I needed to hear he word “persist” over and over and over again.

Thanks to the resilience of U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren, words written by Corretta Scott King were brought alive again in order to protect our Union.

Of course, like most women even in the twenty-first century, we are shushed, told our opinion does not matter, or ignored altogether.

I try to acknowledge this over and over. But sometimes, I’m not privileged. Sometimes, I’m muddling through life with a belly full of ache and a energy system that is zapped. My skin color is privileged, but my insides ache and hold me back.

Once again, I’m struggling with endometriosis.

I’ve learned well how to push through the pain to achieve what I need to. But sometimes it’s just not enough to barely make it through to survive. I work, but I’m not fully living.

When I read all of the sexism and misogyny that’s happening in our country and world, and I see what friends have and do experience, it’s time to claim that we deserve more than the crumbs under the table. We deserve to have health and food and equality. We deserve for our voices to be heard.

And at a time when my pelvis aches and my aggravation increases daily with the dismissal and silencing of women, hearing the word “persistence” and the stories to go along with the word is refreshing.

We need to hear the stories of our sisters who worked for suffrage. We need not only to listen to the stories of our sisters of color, transgender sisters, and lesbian sister, but acknowledge the additional hurdles they have overcome. We need to tell each other our tales and not dismiss what another woman says because we haven’t experienced the same.

I needed the tenacity of Elizabeth Warren today. I need the enduring words of Corretta Scott King. I need to see Malala Yousafzai rising from her injuries and advocating for women all over the world. I still need to see the presence of Hillary in public and private because- even after all of the criticisms and losses, she still continues on. I need the stories of the women in Scripture who persisted: the Syrophoenician woman, the woman with the hemorrhage, Tamar, Vashti, Esther, and more. And I need to hear the stories of my endosisters who continue on one procedure to the next but never giving up.

The more we see women pushing and pushing beyond the boundaries of “no” and “maybe later” to “yes” and rising from the ashes of pain and failure and sexism, the faster we will heal in body, mind, and soul.

 

The Struggle with Grace and Impatience in Healing

26 Sunday Feb 2017

Posted by in Health, Pop

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pexels-photo-27335.jpgFive days ago, I had surgery.

It was the third surgery like this one I’ve had: a laparoscopic operation to remove some of the endometriosis from my pelvis.  Three small incisions were made in my lower abdomen in an effort to get to scope and treat my inside pelvic region.

I never look forward to procedures, but by the time I’ve made the decision to have surgery, I’ve been suffering with pain.  While I’m still working, my life beyond work is minimal.  For someone who is an extrovert like I am, this is not living.

So I had the procedure.  All seemed to have gone well.  But each and every surgery brings worries along with it as well as knowledge of post-surgery living.

In the days following surgery, I’ve noticed a pattern.  The first couple of days, I’m extremely exhausted, and my body is in healing mode.  My days are filled with nap upon nap.  Then I’ll move into the next phase in which I know I’m feeling better.  I can’t do much physically as I’m still very sore.  My body yearns to heal but my spirit wishes I could be among the living again.  My extroverted self is being crushed by the mandatory rest period.

So, besides sleeping, here’s what I’ve done in the past few days:

  • Watched television
  • Watched Netflix
  • Watched HBO Go
  • Watched whatever is On Demand
  • Watched YouTube videos
  • Watched a video I rented from Amazon
  • Watched Jeopardy each night
  • Read many, many articles
  • Tweeted
  • Colored in my Lisa Frank coloring book.

I’ve done a little work here and there as well – from designing some social media posts to making a few phone calls.  Yet I’m exhausted both physically and mentally, so my energy comes in small waves.

I’m not the only young-ish person I know trying to recover from illness or injury.  Friends of mine have been placed on bed rest, and I have this notion that it hasn’t been too much fun for them to rest either. We are “jump into life with both feet” people, and this necessary time off is against our nature.

What we must be reminded of is that the healing process isn’t an overnight thing.  In scripture, we see Jesus healing, and all of a sudden his ailing followers are completely well.  Jesus didn’t ask them to spend a week in bed after he heals them.  Lazarus didn’t take additional time to rest after his resurrection.  The woman with the hemorrhage didn’t need a week to gain back her strength after touching the hem of Jesus.  Their healing was instantaneous.

My healing is not.

In real life, the way Jesus healed is not how realistic recovery works.  When God gives us healing, our responsibility is to rest and follow medical advice as part of the recovery process.

Let’s face it: instant gratification is a drug in our world.  We consider the rest time as a luxury and not a mandate.  When we realize that we can not escape a mandatory rest period with an illness, surgery, or injury, then we often feel guilty.  Our work has always taken top priority – why rest when we should be carrying a normal work load only days after a surgical procedure!

This is when the Sabbath commandment is crucial.  Sabbath is not only about building our relationship with God, but caring for the relationship with ourselves.  Our self-care is needed for us to heal properly so that we can follow God’s call for our lives and work diligently down the road.

I’m trying not to feel guilty about all of the naps I’ve taken in the past few days or zoning out as I color in my Lisa Frank coloring book or rewatching old episodes of Parks and Recreation for the billionth time.  God needs me to take this time right now to build my body as God will need me to work hard a few days and weeks down the road.

Chronic Illness in the Body of Christ

22 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by in Life, Pop

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As many of you know, I struggle with endometriosis.  It’s an illness that causes endometrial tissue to grow outside of the uterus.  The health issue causes me to occasionally feel extreme pain around my cycle, extra fatigue and stomach discomfort.

I’ve learned how to live in pain and exhaustion.  I’ve done what I can to improve my condition including having surgery and changing my diet just so that my pain and discomfort will be minimal.

But so many people have conditions that are painful in very different ways or even completely debilitating.  Some of these include fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn’s disease – among so many others.

In the past number of months, I’ve connected with many women who have endometriosis and, often, other chronic health issues.  Many work but have very limited lives beyond work.  Some can’t work at all.  There are a number of people in this country who have no health insurance.  Those who are able to see doctors are often given excuses that “it’s in your head.”  I’ve heard that many women with endometriosis are told that incredible pains are “normal” (but I’ve never experienced this myself).  Each month, these women live at a pain level of ten.  Eventually, when the pain gets bad enough, they have an exploratory surgery to see what is happening.   At that point, they are told they are infertile or need a colon resection surgery because no one listened to them years earlier.

Many chronic illnesses take a while to be diagnosed and treated.  Sometimes, there are no treatments for the aches and exhaustion of some of these health issues.  How frustrating it is to be told that there’s no solution to exhaustion and pain, except for cognitive therapy and antidepressants!

Frustration does not stop there.  They work and parent even though their bodies feel as if they are to fall apart at any moment.  If they can’t work because of the extent of their illness, many people with these chronic illnesses are told by society that they are lazy and don’t want to work.  Their pain is not believed because it doesn’t show on the outside of their bodies.  I’ve  heard one person with one chronic illness tell others that their health problem is not a “real” illness.

Because we are all part of the Body of Christ, we all suffer from endometriosis, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and the entire list of autoimmune and chronic diseases.  Because we are one in humanity and one in Christ’s body, we also all suffer from diseases like Parkinson’s, MS, cancer, AIDS.  When one part of our body hurts, our whole body hurts.

So when someone  with a chronic illness is disregarded, they do not receive the dignity they deserve.  They feel even less dignity than they did when they kept their illness to themselves.

Unless we walk in their shoes, we can not understand their pain, their slowness in movement, their foggy minds and their fatigue.

As people of faith, what can we do to give dignity to our sisters and brothers who hurt?  Of course we can pray for them and with them.  We can offer scriptures, like Psalm 6, Psalm 22, Psalm 23 or Psalm 38.

But people with chronic health issues will need more than a few Bible verses handed to them.  They yearn to feel human, desire to reclaim their dignity and want to be heard.

When each and every day you wake up with another symptom or feeling overwhelming pain, you feel like Job.  You may feel that God has deserted them.  When you can’t get your health problems resolved, you feel like the woman with the hemorrhage.

So as people of faith, how can we be a support to them when their doctors and friends don’t even believe them?  Frankly, it starts with listening and praying with them so they know that someone else is cheering for their healing.  It starts with helping them sort their feelings, giving them a space to vent and cry.  It helps if you can go to their appointments with them or pick up their medicines for them – if they ask.  It begins with helping them reclaim their dignity as made in God’s image.  Our care for them includes spending time with them in fellowship; many of them can’t leave their homes or have limited energy for fun activities.  They find isolation in their illness.

And it begs for us to be advocates for their health in broken health care systems.

I don’t think God gave me the endometriosis pain “for a reason.”  God experiences pain when we do, and I don’t think of pain as punishment or a method of teaching.  But I believe God is calling all of us – those who have experienced pain and those completely healthy – to use our voices and stand with those who hurt, knowing that we aren’t alone on our journeys.