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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: Prayer

Advent Prayer Day 2 – World AIDS Day

01 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Current Events, Life, Pop, Religion

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Tags

Advent, Advent prayers, AIDS, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Prayer, progressive Christianity, World AIDS Day

God of beautifully broken bodies,
Of days of health
And nights of fevers,
We lament the loved ones lost
From complications to AIDS.

For those who watched friend after friend after friend die
In ’85 or ’87 or ’91.
For those wondering how they are still alive 30 years later.

Because of pills and procedures
Life doesn’t end with a diagnosis,
A gift of modern medicine.

For those who can’t afford medications,
Who must choose between food
And medical bills
And other bills
And pills.

For our sisters and brothers around the world,
Those who don’t have western privilege
And first world medicine
And for the orphans and widows of this disease.

For those today who must wait twenty minutes to see if they have HIV-
Those twenty… long… minutes… of waiting, and worrying.
For those who will be in shock when hearing the word POSITIVE,
Requiring follow up medical care,
And for their bodies trying to adapt to new medications.

For those whose results allow them to move forward like nothing happened,
And for those whose negative means living life as if they could not catch it.

For those who still work to keep the stigma alive-
Attribute the disease to certain behaviors,
And certain people,
Disregarding the thought that when one person in the Body of Christ has a disease
All have it.
Forgetting that those who are negative pose more of a health risk
As the healthy bear germs that could kill an immune-resistant love one.
May they see that all of us are made in God’s image.
May their hearts and mind turn around.

And may all of us know the abundance of God steadfast grace,
Transmitting that love to all we meet.

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A Mid-Summer’s Prayer

01 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop, Religion

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Tags

mid-summer, Prayer, progressive Christianity, Summer

God of the sunshine, the warm summer breezes,
And God of the strong storms and hot afternoons,
We ask that you quench our thirst on our arid days
And keep us cool when the sunrays are too wearing.

In the midst of our vacation,
May we not worry about returning to work
But value this very moment for all that it is.

May our travels be safe and our health be well.

We thank you for late evening sunsets.
And lightning bugs.
And cookouts with friends we see only in the summer.

As the days get shorter, may we find our joy in whatever the season. Amen.

20140701-054054.jpg

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Is Any Prayer Stupid?

15 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Social Media

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

clinical pastoral education, CPE, God, Michelle Torigian, Prayer, progressive Christianity

Five years ago, during my time in Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) as a chaplain, I made it one of my goals to become better at praying out loud. Now, until that point, I never felt confident in my public, impromptu/extemporaneous praying. My prayers never felt strong or fancy enough for others to hear.

During my CPE summer, I had many opportunities to pray aloud with the nursing home residents and their families. By the time the summer had concluded, I felt much better in my public prayers.

That doesn’t mean I still don’t get nervous praying out loud…

Recently, I wrote a prayer for online publication. One individual decided to call the prayer “goofy” in the comment section. They also said that the prayer “seems like a Facebook status with the word ‘God’ placed in front of it.”

People are allowed to think what they wish about my writing. However, if I am speaking from a genuine place of concern, is it “goofy?” And are many of our status updates just words of concern from our hearts? Don’t we want God to hear our status updates?

While it may seem there are goofy prayers being said or written, any time people try to connect to God through words (spoken or written), it’s a prayer. Any time we hold the ones we love, fear, dislike and don’t know in our hearts, it’s prayer. When we connect with the Divine in an effort to strengthen our ties to God, our neighbor and ourselves, it’s prayer. So what words work? And what words fall short?

I don’t believe God cares what words we use when we pray. I think God’s concern is that we take moments to reach out – sending love and healing into the universe.

So say what you want to say to God. God wants to hear it in any form. You can sing it, sign it or dance the prayer. Fluffy language will not make the prayer come true any faster. God accepts both frills and simplicity in prayers. If others think your prayer is stupid, God doesn’t. Keep praying – just as you are. God is bigger than any combination of words.

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Chronic Illness in the Body of Christ

22 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Pop

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

autoimmune, chronic fatigue, Chronic illnesses, Church, Endometriosis, fibromyalgia, IBS, irritable bowel syndrome, Job, lupus, MS, parkinson's, Prayer, Psalm 22, Psalm 23, Psalm 38, Psalm 6, rheumatoid arthritis, spoonie, woman with hemorrhage

As many of you know, I struggle with endometriosis.  It’s an illness that causes endometrial tissue to grow outside of the uterus.  The health issue causes me to occasionally feel extreme pain around my cycle, extra fatigue and stomach discomfort.

I’ve learned how to live in pain and exhaustion.  I’ve done what I can to improve my condition including having surgery and changing my diet just so that my pain and discomfort will be minimal.

But so many people have conditions that are painful in very different ways or even completely debilitating.  Some of these include fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn’s disease – among so many others.

In the past number of months, I’ve connected with many women who have endometriosis and, often, other chronic health issues.  Many work but have very limited lives beyond work.  Some can’t work at all.  There are a number of people in this country who have no health insurance.  Those who are able to see doctors are often given excuses that “it’s in your head.”  I’ve heard that many women with endometriosis are told that incredible pains are “normal” (but I’ve never experienced this myself).  Each month, these women live at a pain level of ten.  Eventually, when the pain gets bad enough, they have an exploratory surgery to see what is happening.   At that point, they are told they are infertile or need a colon resection surgery because no one listened to them years earlier.

Many chronic illnesses take a while to be diagnosed and treated.  Sometimes, there are no treatments for the aches and exhaustion of some of these health issues.  How frustrating it is to be told that there’s no solution to exhaustion and pain, except for cognitive therapy and antidepressants!

Frustration does not stop there.  They work and parent even though their bodies feel as if they are to fall apart at any moment.  If they can’t work because of the extent of their illness, many people with these chronic illnesses are told by society that they are lazy and don’t want to work.  Their pain is not believed because it doesn’t show on the outside of their bodies.  I’ve  heard one person with one chronic illness tell others that their health problem is not a “real” illness.

Because we are all part of the Body of Christ, we all suffer from endometriosis, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and the entire list of autoimmune and chronic diseases.  Because we are one in humanity and one in Christ’s body, we also all suffer from diseases like Parkinson’s, MS, cancer, AIDS.  When one part of our body hurts, our whole body hurts.

So when someone  with a chronic illness is disregarded, they do not receive the dignity they deserve.  They feel even less dignity than they did when they kept their illness to themselves.

Unless we walk in their shoes, we can not understand their pain, their slowness in movement, their foggy minds and their fatigue.

As people of faith, what can we do to give dignity to our sisters and brothers who hurt?  Of course we can pray for them and with them.  We can offer scriptures, like Psalm 6, Psalm 22, Psalm 23 or Psalm 38.

But people with chronic health issues will need more than a few Bible verses handed to them.  They yearn to feel human, desire to reclaim their dignity and want to be heard.

When each and every day you wake up with another symptom or feeling overwhelming pain, you feel like Job.  You may feel that God has deserted them.  When you can’t get your health problems resolved, you feel like the woman with the hemorrhage.

So as people of faith, how can we be a support to them when their doctors and friends don’t even believe them?  Frankly, it starts with listening and praying with them so they know that someone else is cheering for their healing.  It starts with helping them sort their feelings, giving them a space to vent and cry.  It helps if you can go to their appointments with them or pick up their medicines for them – if they ask.  It begins with helping them reclaim their dignity as made in God’s image.  Our care for them includes spending time with them in fellowship; many of them can’t leave their homes or have limited energy for fun activities.  They find isolation in their illness.

And it begs for us to be advocates for their health in broken health care systems.

I don’t think God gave me the endometriosis pain “for a reason.”  God experiences pain when we do, and I don’t think of pain as punishment or a method of teaching.  But I believe God is calling all of us – those who have experienced pain and those completely healthy – to use our voices and stand with those who hurt, knowing that we aren’t alone on our journeys.

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Surgery beyond television dramas

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by mictori in Life, Television

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Church, Clergy, Endometriosis, Endosisters, God, Grey's Anatomy, Healing, Jesus, Prayer, Surgery

I’ve watched every episode of Grey’s Anatomy multiple times.  And many episodes of ER.  And a few episodes of St. Elsewhere.  I love medicine, and visiting hospitals absolutely does not gross me out.

That being said, facing surgery tomorrow is freaking me out.

I have endometriosis, a condition of migrating tissue.  Through laparoscopic surgery, I am able to get some relief from the pain and discomforts of my condition.

I had this surgery in December 2003.  With the exception of a little reaction to the anesthesia, I recovered fairly well and the results of the surgery delayed further growth.  I am fortunate that I’ve gone nine years without another surgery.

However, during the past six months, I’ve experienced horrific pain and other abdominal health issues.  My fatigue has been worse.  My life has been limited by my condition, and I want to live fully again.

So often, I visit people in hospitals immediately before their surgeries and in the days following.  As I’ve had to go under the knife, I remember the fear that people face when they, too, must have surgery.

Now it’ s my turn.

I don’t believe God is making me endure this surgery – – either because I’ve done something bad or because I need to learn a lesson somehow.  Instead, God goes with me into the surgery.  God sits with me as I freak out on my couch tonight.  God stands next to the operating table, stands with the doctors and nurses, gives wisdom to the anesthesiologist and gives peace to my parents in the waiting room.  God is in all of these places bringing strength and peace.

So I value your prayers, my friends.  If you are not a praying person, I value any thoughts, energy and love you send my way.  To me, all of these things sends a peaceful and healing energy into my life.  I am blessed to know that the people in my church, my clergy friends from around the country and my endosisters (women with endometriosis) all over the world are thinking about me.  Because of this energy and God’s constant presence, I know that I’m not alone.

Loving God,
Thank you for your gift of medicine,
Your doctors and nurses,
For family and friends who care.
Guide the hands of medical professionals,
Bring wisdom to their minds.

I pray for all others having surgery tomorrow and this month.
I pray for all caregivers,
And I pray for those who struggle with the same medical condition I have.
In the healing name of Jesus the Christ I pray, Amen.

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