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Tag Archives: patriarchy

A Lament of a Misogynistic Speech

15 Wednesday May 2024

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Prayers, Social Justice

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

butker, Commencement, commencement speech, Harrison Butker, homemaker, misogyny, NFL, nfl kicker, patriarchy, Prayer, Prayers, progressive Christianity

God of talents reaching all of humanity,

We have reached beyond the barriers of a new millennium by a quarter of a century. We’ve seen the progress which all genders have made. We’ve celebrated the gifts which all genders experience. No matter your gender, you contribute to this world in all types of ways. There are no limits-

Until a commencement speech says otherwise. Back in the kitchen? God we don’t all have culinary skills. Women as homemakers? Maybe some women, or men, or non-binary friends because that is THEIR calling. And not everyone has the same gifts.

I’m no homemaker. You didn’t call me to such spaces. You asked me to preach, to teach, to care for the sick, to encourage my neighbor, to inspire.

And as many women look ahead to the future with bursting dreams, their graduation speaker tells them that home is where they need to be.

I couldn’t imagine being a women in 1950, dreadfully forced to stay home and cook. Urged to set aside ambition of using my calling and gifts. Yet, here we are with men wanted to ship us back to the mid-20th century.

Bless the women who are homemakers. Bless all genders who are called to care for the home and children. We give thanks for their calling as we know it’s their own.

But Holy Dreamer and Deliverer of Gifts, you didn’t limit us based on gender or anything else. So let’s toss aside his voice and move ahead knowing that you, God, is bigger than his image of you. You rip expectations apart as you fill this world with every possibility imaginable.

May you Spirit turn over these small-minded misogynists as they learn to open themselves to YOUR dreams.

Amen.

(c) 2024 Rev. Michelle L. Torigian

Artwork by ArtsyBee on Pixabay

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Hagar, the Handmaid, and the Other Women

09 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Pop, Pop Culture, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1 Timothy 2, Abraham, Abram, concubine, Feminist Theology, Genesis 16, Genesis 21, Hagar, June, Mother's Day, Offred, Other Women, patriarchy, Pop Culture and Theology, Sarah, Sarai, Season 2, Serena Joy, slave, The Handmaid's Tale, theology

IMG_8226Note: This post includes spoilers from The Handmaid’s Tale, season 2, episode 4 entitled “Other Women.”

I see the story of Hagar in a brand new light.

Imagine that Hagar, concubine of Abram, as a young woman forced to live with a family in a new society framework.   Imagine that as they analyze her monthly cycle, she is required to have sexual relations with the man of the house.  Imagine that she cannot say no to the process – that this is her life.

This is the life of handmaid Offred – June – in the story The Handmaid’s Tale.  And this is essentially the story of Hagar.

What do we know about Hagar?  Chapter 16 of Genesis tells us that she was a slave.  She was Egyptian.  She is accused by Sarai of contempt.  She is abused by Sarai and runs away.  Years later, after she gives birth to Ishmael, she is thrown out of the community with little resources and forced into the wilderness only with her child.

The mother of Ishmael was a handmaid.  She was forced to conceive against her will.

June/Offred is Hagar.  And Hagar is a handmaid.  Like Hagar, June couldn’t say no.  Like Hagar she was property, and one of her jobs was to serve as a surrogate – a working reproductive system – for a more-privileged couple.  Like Hagar, she will undoubtedly be cast aside after she gives birth.

See the wilderness where Hagar is cast?  The Colonies may appear different, but they are exile, nonetheless.

June is viewed by Serena Joy through a lens of jealousy.  Sarai saw Hagar through a similar lens of envy, and Sarai expressed that jealousy by abusing Hagar.  In Genesis 16, Sarai is told by her husband that she can do what she wants to with her slave Hagar.  It states that Sarai “dealt harshly” with Hagar which resulted in Hagar running away.  June also runs away… only to be captured again by the powers-that-be.  While the Genesis 16 texts states that Hagar is convinced by God to go back, was that the way it really would happen?  Would God instruct a slave to return to their abusive masters?

Do I believe Hagar wanted to “show contempt” with Sarai?  No.  Do I believe that she was wrongly accused.  Probably.  If she showed contempt it was because Hagar was given the opportunity to feel some power in a powerless situation.  While it says that Sarai has the power, in all honesty, Abram has all of the power.  The patriarchal systems during the time of Abram and Sarai allowed some women to have power over others.  In all actuality, the system put into place by the men during the time fostered a environment where the women hated one another – just like in Gilead.

Sound familiar?  Like Sarai, Serena Joy has power over the handmaid but is also a slave in the system.  She is complicit and a pawn.  June lives in an oppressive system which favors some women over others with handmaids being physically and emotionally abused by the other women – especially by the wives and Aunt Lydia.

Abram looks like the innocent soul in all of this.  Frankly, after watching this show, I can no longer see how this makes Abram greater than Fred.  Abram undoubtedly has sex with Hagar against her will – or at the very least without her free and willing consent.  The patriarchy gives permission to the men to reign over the rest of the society as they peg women against women to achieve their goals.

Is it much different today?  There are slaves in our world- ones that are forced to work and have sex in order to build society and some men’s egos.  We see how slaves are rented to men for a night of sex.  Very often, what appears to be prostitution is the story of women who are forced to be a part of physical intimacy against their will.

But there is another part of all of this.  And with Mother’s Day coming up, I feel like it needs to be said: our system is built on women comparing themselves to other women.  Having children is a vital piece of the patriarchal puzzle.  How we look and with whom we are connected are other pieces.

For those of us who have not had children – and especially those who have truly wanted to give birth – it feel like a club that we are not a part of.  It feels like we’ve been left out of something truly great.  And I wonder if our society has allowed motherhood to be used as another “us vs. them” tool.

The us vs. them was felt by Sarai and Hagar.  It’s seen every time Serena Joy experiences her devastation with her own unspoken infertility.  It’s seen when June wants to return to her own life but can’t.  And it’s experienced by many in our time.

“Women shall be saved through childbirth.”  That’s what 1 Timothy 2 says.  That’s how Hagar was undoubtedly able to have a decent life for many years.  It’s also why people use words like “you don’t know what love is until you have a child.”  But it’s a message that isn’t true.  Women are valuable on their own – no matter if they are married, who they are married to, if they’ve had children, how they’ve became a mother, or whose child they are.

While motherhood is a calling by God to some women, we as a society need to stop placing it on all woman as a requirement for salvation here on earth or in heaven.  We need to stop this toxic message of us versus them.  We are women – all of us.  Married, single, parent, childless – all of us are valuable children of God and made in God’s image.

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A Prayer in the Face of Misogyny

18 Saturday Nov 2017

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

abuse, discrimination, Eve, Mary Magdalene, misogyny, patriarchy, Prayer, prayers for women, rape, rape culture, shame, Tamar, Vashti, women

IMG_5309.PNG

God, you’ve seen the way the Bible has twisted the lives of Eve and Vashti and Tamar and Mary Magdalene…

And you see how the stories and images of women are twisted today.

We are tired, Mother God.

We are tired of the b-word and the frequent use of the words “whore” and “slut.” We are tired when people in power obviously work to intimidate us more than the men in our lives. We are tired when we are spoken over or told how we should feel. We are tired when we speak out and not believed. We are tired when our sheroes are attacked with greater fervor than the men who hold power. We are tired wheb being refused jobs because of gender (because, let’s face it, our reproductive organs have nothing to do with our qualifications). We are tired of the shame that comes with being born a daughter of Eve.

We are tired that Mother is not a good enough title for you, God.

We are tired of the little comments made to us or about us that make us feel less than human. We are tired of the larger ways our bodies and our accomplishments are tossed aside or belittled. Our energy is spent in ensuring that humanity sees us with the same dignity as cisgender men. Our sisters of color and our transgender siblings must spend even more of their spirits than we who are white women trying to achieve this dignity.

We are exhausted to hear how we should be grateful for the crumbs that have been scattered for us.

Crumbs are no longer enough. We are more than b*tches and whores and ditzes and witches. We will speak out when our voices are ignored, and we will no longer keep our stories silent.

We are worth every single piece of energy you used to mold us in your image. We are your children and deserve the inheritance of your kin-dom on earth as much as our male siblings.

You stand on the side of justice, and one day we will be equal in the eyes of our neighbors just like we are equal in your eyes.

Amen.

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The Disturbing Story of King Ahasuerus

08 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by mictori in Current Events, Life, Pop

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

#trumptapes, ahasuerus, Election 2016, election2016, Esther, king, misogyny, patriarchy, Queen, rape, rape culture, Trump, Vashti, vote

V0034399 Esther faints before King Ahasuerus. Engraving, 1767, after

Wikimedia Commons

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled over many provinces.  His name was King Ahasuerus.  While he was on his throne in the Citadel of Susa, he threw a tremendous party.  The palace was decorated in marble, silver, various colors of stones and, of course, GOLD.

On the seventh day of the great banquet, in his state of mirth, he commanded his wife, Queen Vashti, to remove herself from her separate banquet and parade around his banquet full of men wearing her crown…

Probably ONLY  her crown…

…Because, of course, he was king.  And rich.  And celebrated.  Some would say a star, perhaps.  And he could demand such exploitations.

Queen Vashti was fair to behold- possibly a “10.”

But Ahasuerus failed.  Queen Vashti refused to become another prop in his life, to be objectified by not only her husband but the many men who may grope her as she paraded.

Ahasuerus was furious – an anger which raged inside of him.  He successfully impressed his guests with all he had, like the marble and silver and gold.  But his wife – his greatest “property” – he could not control.

Loopholes in laws were always to his benefit, and after consulting some wise men of his time, Ahasuerus deemed what Queen Vashti did to him as wrong.

Out of this great anger, this great male leader of the time then imposed more rules against women.  All men were to be honored… or basically obeyed… by their wives.

What happened to Vashti?  Well, she went away…disappeared.  First wives can be sent away without a second thought…

Did he pay her off?  Did he settle in some divorce?  Or did he just throw her out on the street without a second thought and resources to help her survived?

Ahasuerus then decided to find a new wife… a brand new hot wife.

This wouldn’t be just any wife.  She would be pure – A VIRGIN!  A Jewish woman named Esther was one of these women.  They would be gathered in the palace.  I suppose you could say that she was considered another “10.”  But the still they ordered her cosmetic treatments…

Because she couldn’t be truly beautiful to the powers that be without these procedures.  Her authentic raw self wouldn’t work for someone like Ahasuerus who focused on women as his possessions to be admired…

She waited for him to call… he was the one who demanded her attention and not the other way around.  She must wait for him – for his compassion, companionship and care.

Like with Vashti, Ahasuerus looked no further than her outer beauty – forgetting that she was a person of faith, a messy flawed amazing person and a woman determined to save the lives of many others.

Queen Vashti risked all she had to stand up against a demanding man in power.  Queen Esther risked all she had to stand up to a system that was going to exterminate her family and friends.  Vashti worked outside of the system and Esther worked inside.

That is how Esther survived… Giggle when he wants.  Get touched and paraded when he wants.  And she gets to thrive in his palace.

In reality, Esther and Vashti’s beauty came from their courage, their brave souls and the Spirit which worked within them.  Too bad Ahasuerus missed all of this beauty as he gawked at their bodies and faces.

Funny how few faith leaders call out King Ahasuerus for what he was and what he did and how he objectified the women in his life.  Funny how this patriarchal attitude becomes normal and expected in our realities today too.  Funny how we allow the privileged male leaders in our society to treat women this way.  Funny how these attitudes haven’t died in two or three thousand years.  Funny how those who read this story honor courageous Queen Esther but forget about the bold Queen Vashti.  Funny how many of our closed-minded clergy are not calling out King Ahasuerus of the Bible…

Or the King Ahasuerus of today.

*****

While I am not explicitly political on this site, I felt the need to write this as a reflection of a Biblical story that always concerned me AND as a theological statement on some of the 2016 election players.

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