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Michelle L. Torigian

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Michelle L. Torigian

Tag Archives: judgment

That Body of Christ Thing from a Mama Bear in the Pulpit

26 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop

≈ 1 Comment

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1 Corinthians 12, Body of Christ, Christianity, evangelical, Evangelical Christianity, judging Christians, judgment, Mainline Protestant, Mainline Protestantism, progressive Christianity

animal-animal-photography-bear-598966 (1)

All views are solely mine and not necessarily the perspective of any group in which I am associated.

Many times as a younger person, I was hurt by Christianity.

Most of those times it’s been from people of the Evangelical perspective.  When I was in college, I was told by a Christian counselor that I needed to dump a boyfriend because he wasn’t a Christian.  In my 30’s, I was told that I wasn’t going to be allowed in heaven because I different views on salvation.  I was told that I was in that same decade, I also had to stand up to a pastor because he dismissed me after I told them that his pro-marriage views belittled me.  I had to stand up to him because he wouldn’t sell a property to people of another major religion because they didn’t hold the “truth.”  And he told me that he couldn’t support me to go into the ministry if I believed that people who are LGBT should be allowed to be married or ordained.

I’ve seen how some Christians have told a City Manager who is transgender that Jesus would want her fired.  I’ve seen how people with these perspectives have shamed women who have been raped or had abortions.

(Before we go any further, I’d like to say this: many who consider themselves Evangelical are absolutely NOT like this.  A few have tarnished the reputation of the many.  If you consider yourself Evangelical but do not identify with the above, I acknowledge and appreciate your perspective.  Likewise, there are many fellow Mainline Protestants that can be equally judgmental.)

Pieces of my soul have been itching to recover from my spiritual injuries.  And they’ve left not just scars but scar tissues that flares when triggered by words and sentences.

And yet, I’ve refused to let them kick me out of the Body of Christ.  Instead, I’ve felt responsible to continue to be a part of the Body of Christ and create spaces that welcome and include people.

I’ve been working for years to make sure to care for my wounds that continue to reopen and keep the wounds covered so as not to infect my ministry.  Yet there are some piece of my experience that I never want another young person (or anyone) to experience, and I will reflect deeply to make sure to separate my wounds from the reality of the situation.  But I will also reflect deeply to ensure those who I minister to are emotionally and spiritually safe.

There’s never been a unified Christianity.  Ever.  It’s a myth.  Right after the time of Jesus, the early Jesus movement folks were arguing about the necessity of following the purity issues and circumcision.  Even today, Catholics, Mainline Protestants, and Evangelical Protestants range from liberal to conservative.  Assuming that a person has certain beliefs and values solely based on their religion or their place of worship is damaging to them, us, and the church.  It’s truly important to speak to each individual before making assumptions about their theology.

I suppose we all “other” some Christians who believe differently than we do.  Who gives us the right to establish a purity test for the faith?  Yet as leaders in the faith, we should be in relationship with people who think differently and learn something from our relationship with them them even when we are called to create programs that fall in line with our ethics and values.  I don’t expect a person on a different side of the Body to be pro-choice.  However, I will not support programs or perspectives which condemns those with my view and those that try to inject shame into our faith community or spiritual lives.

Saying that you must believe (Fill in the Blank) in order to be a Christian is blasphemy.  There are Christians who are pro-life, some who are anti-choice, and some who are pro-choice.  There are Christians who believe in the sacrificial death of Jesus and others who believe that it was Jesus’ life that brought salvation to the world.

  • You can believe in excluding refugees in our country and still call yourself a Christian, but I will not support a Christianity with that perspective.
  • You can believe in complimentarianism (different roles for women and men) and still call yourself a Christian, but I will not support a Christianity with that perspective.
  • You can believe that a marriage is only between a man and woman and be a Christian, but I will not support a Christianity with that perspective.
  • You can think some people need to change before calling themselves a Christian and still call yourselves a Christian, but I will not support a Christianity that deems anyone not made in the image of God as they are today.

My challenge is this: When I am faced with allowing these competing perspectives into the places where I lead and into our programs, I take on a Mama Bear approach.  Because these perspectives often exclude and shame people in the name of Christ, I want to protect others from having to go through what I have endured.  I want them to experience Christianity in a more-loving and open way than I have experienced it.

So from this Mama Bear in the Pulpit to you – I’m doing my best to balance unity in the Body of Christ and ensuring that the spaces for which I’m responsible are filled with theology and ethics that stand for love.  I’m trying my best to expose people to other Christian perspectives in dialogue but distance ourselves from those who say what Christianity MUST be.  As an ordained person, I have a responsibility to reach out to people across the Body, and I have a responsibility to create faith formation that represents a loving, accepting, and inclusive Christ.  I have a responsibility to ensure that vulnerable people experience safety for their bodies, minds, and souls as much as possible.  All of this is a tough balance.  I’ll keep doing the best I can in my service to God, neighbor, and Church.

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The Good News Is Missing

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by mictori in Church Life, Life, Pop, Pop Culture, Religion, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Duck Dynasty, fundamentalism, Good News, Grace, hypocracy, judging Christians, judgment, progressive Christianity, Westboro Baptists

Recently, I’ve been thinking once again about Christianity and grace.

When I attended a church years ago, one or two of the members CONTINUOUSLY criticized the pastor. Each and every time I was in their presence, some comment would be made.

Years ago I’ve seen how a member of the clergy wouldn’t bother to be in dialogue with others because they had all of the right answers and everyone else who disagreed was “wrong.”

Hail church… full of hate…

I see Christians noting in online forums that people who are out of work or disabled should be denied assistance.

I see Christians who refuse to have conversations with others who think differently.

I see Christians who constantly make little judging comments about pastors, their fellow congregants and others they know.

We judge those who get pregnant before they’re married, who are single parents or have abortions. We judge those who are atheists or some other religious minority because they don’t have the “truth.”

I’m not just speaking about the Westboro Baptists or other fundamentalist Christians. We liberal and Mainline Protestants can be just as critical and grace-less as those on the right.

Why do we think our churches and Christianity will grow if we’ve left out grace from the equation?

Christianity was founded on the principles of grace. Some believed Jesus died for their salvation. Other Christians believe that Jesus lived as God’s unconditional love incarnate. Jesus touched the unclean, defended the poor and hung out with outcasts. No matter what your view of salvation, abundant grace is a part of our story as Christians. Except, we’ve forgotten that.

Dear Christians: we lack grace. We ALL lack grace.

Christianity has completely and totally lost it’s core principle. Judgment of non-Christians and other Christians has pushed aside any unconditional love.

Instead of standing up for the unprivileged, Christians defend the words of a duck guy who denigrates gay people and laughs off racism. And the rest of us Christians who didn’t defend the guy get upset when he gets a second chance to return to a television show. (Granted, he didn’t apologize for his insensitive remarks. Maybe I would warm up to the idea of a second chance if he had been slightly more sensitive and grace-filled. But like ALL of you, I judge too.)

I laugh when I hear Christians who say it’s more important to make sure they judge people because it’s “loving” rather than showing them grace through their roughest moments.

And no one really knows the crud that we all go through in life. No one knows how our embedded theology and life experiences influence our choices. We forget that someone else’s shoes fit so very differently. But we’re not willing to try them on. We’re not willing to consider how they feel on someone else’s feet. We just don’t care – because Jesus died for “me.” Jesus cares about “me” and that’s all that matters, right?

It’s attitudes like this that make people turn their backs on God, Jesus and the church. How many people will Christianity lose this year because grace, mercy and unconditional love wasn’t extended to our neighbors? We are engaging in anti-evangelism as we suck the world dry of the good news of grace, mercy and unconditional love.

Friends: it’s time we embrace grace, love and second chances. Very rarely does a mistake cause us to have such a deep riff between ourselves and others or ourselves and God. Yet we want to find every opportunity to make sure grace is never, ever a part of Christianity. Maybe we believe we’re the only ones who deserve grace. Maybe we think people will get used to having it easy.

And by the way – whether you are a Christian or not, you will mess up. We’re all going to make mistakes. We’re all going to live in ways that will make someone else greatly dislike us. So deal with it. Life, health issues, time restraints often push us off of our paths and cause us to make mistakes. That is life. As Christians, it’s our job to try and find ways to relocate people back on the paved road instead of making them struggle in the weeds and ditches off the path.

So next time you’re about to judge, ask these questions: “Why did they act this way? Is there anything I can do to help? If not, how can I better understand them?”

That’s sharing the good news.

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