In my twenties, I fell in love.
At the time, I thought he would be “the one.” Yet, he wasn’t. Five and a half years into the relationship, it was over. And, he was engaged to someone else approximately eight months later.
I know… I know… First world problems. I had food, and housing, and a great job. But someone else took the role of “fiance” so soon after my departure. By someone else taking the role only months after our breakup was difficult to grasp. Self-esteem issues continued to get tangled in that permanent loss of identity.
God, why did he put a ring on her finger and not mine? What made her appropriate for that role and not me? So many questions swimming through my head. Even now, I wonder why.
When it comes down to it, Beyonce’s song is no different than a lament psalm. The song gives many women the words to sing about frustrations of being passed over, of being left behind and of feeling not good enough.
This week was Beyonce’s birthday. In honor of her birthday, Unvirtuous Abbey had a “prayer challenge” entitled “Preyonce.” Tweeters were to write a prayer based upon the lyrics of one of Beyonce’s songs. As I tweeted: “@
UnvirtuousAbbey @ Beyonce For all the men who liked it but never put a ring on it, we pray. #preyonce”
I realized that my Tweet focused on what had been in my heart all those years ago.
Think about all of the songs that we listen to on a daily basis. As we belt out the lyrics, how are they the feelings that currently reside in our hearts? How are the lyrics streaming from our mouths the pain that ate away at our souls years ago? Aren’t the lyrics what we’re talking to God about anyway?