God of the Handkerchiefs, Spirit of the Humidifers,
As my throat increases in scratchiness,
And the chills and aches invade my space,
May your strength fill my cells with health.

Hear my lament: “Nooooooooooooo!  Achoo!”
*Cough Cough*
“UGH!”

If this is, indeed, an illness,
May this be brief, and my I gain my strength back soon.
Give me the patience to rest.
May my schedule be light this week
And my tasks few
So that I can nurse myself back to health.

If this happens to be a false alarm,
May I pay attention to my body
And avoid the plague like the plague.

Amen.