death, death of dad, death of parent, grief, grief prayers, loss of parent, memories, mourning, never returning, parents
Divine Crafter of Time and Space,
It’s been a month.
Now, I know that it hasn’t been a full month since he breathed his last breath,
Or the last beat of his heart,
Or the very last time I saw him “alive,”
But a month ago we lost the him we knew and a life of familiarity.
We lost his laughter and his political grumblings,
The ability to ask him one more time what the Tin-Man symbolized in the Wizard of Oz,
As well as questions we never knew to ask him beforehand.
We lost his voice.
Of course, we have recordings from the past thirty years-
Videotapes from birthdays and Christmases. Even a Facebook video or two on a needed Civics lesson.
But recordings, though sacred, just aren’t the same.
One month ago today,
I lost the blessing of receiving his hugs
And his constant reminders to gargle with saltwater
And to get my oil changed and have all of the fluid levels checked.
I lost the ability to see his eyes not only open
But look and interact with the people surrounding him.
His spirit ascended while we were left to descend into the valley of grief.
So until I can climb out of this valley under the dome of cloud-filled skies,
God grant me the strength I need to take life 15 minutes at a time.
Someday, we will find ourselves on even land again,
Even occasionally making our ways to mountaintops.
It will be a bittersweet journey upward and onward,
As I realize Your strength and his love are on this pilgrimage with me.
Sharing your prayers about the loss of your father is a gift to me. I am there with you as much as I can.